11 Responses to Living with An Illness That is Invisible: Getting Past Misconceptions

  1. My biggest struggle for the most part is people not understanding the kind of pain I experience on an every day, never stops basis. Does anybody get the same as me, Like, if I was in so much pain I would be complaining more. I feel like if I chose to “complain all the time” I would, I think, make myself feel worse.

  2. I feel the same as you. Why complain all the time…. it’s not going to make me feel any better and it makes me look like I seeking sympathy. I don’t want sympathy, I want understanding.

  3. My experience has been that the assumptions are even worse when the husband is ill. Husbands are expected, Biblically, to support the family. When an invisible illness strikes, it is very hard for church family to be understanding. I have heard personally all the lines above plus much worse. We need a boatload of forgiveness for our brethren as Christ teaches us. Also, we need to remember that we are also undeserving recipients of Christ’s mercy and forgiveness.

    • christine, you make a great point about men with illness. We do have some great men here at RM and I always appreciate when they are willing to write for us or be interviewed. We need to hear their voice more!

  4. does tool #1 have a “typo”? ” And it’s important to remember that those living with an illness do not understand the difficulties that our friends are going through, such as a divorce, the death of a loved one, an ill child, a loss job, etc ” We all go through those things and more, as well as being ill…..

    • Thanks, Sue. it isn’t a typo per se. although those of us with illness do go through other challenges (divorce, loss of,job, etc.) my intent was to remind the average ill person–who feels everyone should understand exactly what they are going through–may NOT actually understand some of the other difficulties friends are going through. As you point out, they MAY, of they have gone through it, But they may not. No one scan truly understand it all, because even if we have the same circumstances, every one of our our experiences will be unique to us. Does that make sense?

  5. I have lost my job because of my illness and I have really been down and upset by this, so I decided last week to see if I could do volunteer work and have been shocked by how positive the responses to me have been. I know I need to do this and see if I can cope with this. I do feel I have much to offer and much to learn, praying that it goes well.

  6. Hello,
    I live in the UK. I found the Web-Site Living with an Invisible Illness so very enlightening!
    I honestly felt that only myself suffered with these feelings of isolation & failure due to my invisible illnesses. Just reading about other peoples similar experiences in coping with the same negativity surrounding their lifes has made me realise I am not suffering alone, thank God!. I,m not alone I can,t believe it!

  7. I came to the conclusion at the beginning of my illness, that I need to do my best to control my emotions and smile….when you get the flu, or a cold, you have the tendency to be cranky, but with a chronic illness, that is a luxury you cannot afford. So when people ask, “if you feel so bad why are you smiling?” I just tell them it is a choice I made, not to allow this illness to steal my joy. I just kind of figure the average person is not going to understand how extreme the pain I deal with is, so at least they are more comfortable around me, if not understanding.

  8. This is such a hard part of living with a chronic illness. The longer I’ve been sick, the better that I’ve understood that there are a lot of people who truly do care, but just can’t understand until they’ve been through it themselves. Thinking of it that way helps me get through it.

  9. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you, However I am going through troubles with your RSS.
    I don’t know the reason why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there
    anybody getting identical RSS issues? Anybody
    who knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanks!!

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