“The trait of extroversion-introversion is a central dimension of human personality. Extroverts tend to be sociable, assertive, & interested in seeking out excitement. Introverts, in contrast, tend to be more reserved, less outgoing, but are typically marked by a richer inner world & a stimulating imagination.”
Thus begins an explanation of extroverts & introverts per the online encyclopedia, WIKIPEDIA. Most resources on the subject allow that many people are a combination of the two personality traits–or at least fluctuate between them at different stages of life. Yet, upon analysis, each of us can see how we lean especially toward one trait.
The introvert can be sociable & enjoy being with people–thereby appearing to be extroverted. But the introvert draws profound inner strength & joy from solitude, & the creative pursuits therein. He or she will become fragmented if space for solitude & reflection are not an integral part of life.
Conversely, the extrovert gets his or her inner strength & sustenance from people contact, & is frequently miserable during prolonged periods of solitude.
I’ve come to realize that underst&ing my personality is of prime importance in managing chronic illness & pain. As much as I love people & enjoy planning & attending pleasant social gatherings, my strength comes from quietness & solitude. Thus I am basically an introvert. I stoke up during my “alone” times, so that I have something to give during the enjoyable “people occasions”.
A quiet cup of tea & reciprocal conversation shared with a good friend will always leave me refreshed rather than depleted. And many larger social occasions inspire & uplift me even though I need the balance of solitude tucked in amongst people activities.
However there are some extroverts who, in relying on other people for their strength & sustenance, consistently suck the very life energy from whomever will listen to them. These are the extreme extroverts. Their conversation is mainly centered on sad news about themselves & their family members (often disguised as “prayer requests”), laced with dissertations on how they are feeling.
The extreme extrovert is the center of his or her own little universe. Extreme extroverts will talk constantly, & they’ve never learned how to really listen to others; in fact, they will bat their eyes back & forth when forced to be still–waiting impatiently to regain control of the conversation. Extreme extroverts are recognizable by the way they immediately wipe us out upon contact.
Even introverts who are perfectly healthy grow weary on a steady diet of social activities & people stuff. But for the introvert with illness & pain, the scale tips beyond mere weariness. If I do not have regular isl&s of solitude in my routine, I will wear out to the point of being desperately depleted.
Whereas some individuals might bounce back quickly after non-stop social occasions, I metaphorically turn to a jelly draped over a tree branch–like Salvador Dali’s clocks. Sometimes I’m exhausted for several days after a barrage of high energy social events, especially those where extreme extroverts dominate the conversations.
As sensitive & caring Christians we are too often misled into thinking we must continually accommodate everyone around us. But as obedient Christians we must be diligent stewards of our bodies & emotions, while acknowledging our limits.
In Psalm 90, Moses speaks of numbering our days & applying our hearts to wisdom. For the person whose health & body comfort are seriously compromised, wisdom amounts to planning very carefully how we will spend our time, & with whom!
Margaret Been is a born-again Christian, a wife, mother, gr&mother, great-gr&mother, poet, free lance writer, aficionado of many creative crafts–& lover of life in beautiful Wisconsin. Visit her web site Mining Treasures in Illness & Pain .
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