Did you know that most people who have a chronic illness would prefer not to be told we look good. It’s not that those of us who are ill want to be told we look awful, but the comments on our “looks” seem to say, “You can’t really feel as bad as you say you do, since you look fine.”
Those we love don’t always understand this. And though we know we cannot change other people, if those who love us do want to know what encourages us or what makes us feel like throwing something across the room, these tips can be helpful, right?
Well, along comes a booklet that tons of people have said, “This is the best book I’ve ever read…” “But You LOOK Good: A Guide to Understanding and Encouraging People with Chronic, Debilitating Illness and Pain!” is by Sherri Connell, wife of Wayne Connell of Invisible Disabilities Association (formerly “Advocate”) who will be a special guest on our Invisible Illness Week panel tomorrow.
It is a 52-page booklet that gives those living with chronic illness and pain a voice about how they feel, what they need and how others can be an encouragement to them. We don’t always know what we feel, why we feel the way we do, or how to communicate it with others. So this booklet is an easy informative way to educate loved ones about what rolloer-coaster emotions you are going through.
And even if you never give this booklet to anyone, it will help you if you are ill, to put some of your mixed up emotions into words.
This booklet gets to the heart of why our friends and family have difficulty with understanding ongoing illness and pain. It serves as a tool to help explain to loved ones how extreme fatigue, pain, dizziness, cognitive impairments and other symptoms can be limiting, even though the person may not “look” sick or in pain.
The booklet dives into “What to say,” “What not to say” and “Why,” along with “How to help.” Often loved ones are enlightened as to why their well-meaning advice is not always well-received. It is cherished by both those living with illness or injury, as well as those who love them!
- So, They Have “Good” & “Bad” Days, Right?
- What If They Start “Giving In” To The Illness?
- But, I Just Do Not Understand!
- I’m Always Saying The Wrong Thing!
- Couldn’t I just Try To Cheer Them Up?
- But I Really Think My Suggestions Are Helpful!
“But You LOOK Good” gets to the heart of why our friends and family have difficulty with our illness. Often loved ones are enlightened as to why their well-meaning advice is not always well-received. Moreover, it gives them simple, pragmatic ways to truly be an encouragement.
“I just finished reading your booklet and feel like bawling in relief that you have identified and eloquently described what is helpful and what is not for people with chronic illness. You put into words what I have felt for 20 years! Now I can pass this information on to my family and friends and others who suffer.” – Sandy, Colorado