Feeling suicidal or blue can be normal when you live with chronic illness. One way to fight them each day is by doing a random act of kindness.
By Lisa Copen, this is a reprint from http://thinkingaboutsuicide.com where Lisa is a contributor. The web site is a good place to turn during those rough days to help you remember that God cares about you and is here beside you even when you don’t feel like it.
Experiencing that rock-bottom depression and pain–both physical and emotional–can quickly convince you that there is nothing worth getting out of bed for one more morning. You may even be wondering if you should keep fighting those thoughts of suicide, or if it is finally time to just give in. Perhaps you are tired of fighting and don’t see any purpose in your life today.
In my ministry with the chronically ill, I hear from so many people share about the loneliness and isolation they experience. And they often point out how no one calls them anymore, their church has forgotten them, co-workers from previous jobs have moved on.
Even the smallest of ways that a person reaches out to someone, however, can increase the effectiveness of her own immune system and how she wraps her brain around things.
According to the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation many studies have found scientific health benefits to doing a random act of kindness, even for someone you have never met before.
Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that impacts our mood, and an ingredient in most anti-depressants. And when you do something nice for someone, your serotonin gets a boost.
It may come as no surprise to you that when someone does something nice for you, it increases your serotonin. But did you know it also gets a boost when you are the one who does something nice for someone else? And get this! A random act of kindness also boosts the serotonin level of the people who are watching this kindness take place!
Everyone wants to matter, to be seen, to have someone offer a tiny bit of kindness. And when their so-called friends and loved ones are not there to offer any hope for the future, you–yes, you may actually be the person to offer it. Don’t doubt that God can do something amazing through you. Every person He has ever called upon had a long list of ways to improve.
So take a deep breath and give yourself this small little motivator today. Do something nice for someone. You will feel a little rush of joy, the recipient will get a boost too, and so will anyone else who happens to be observing. You may not only save your life; your actions may encourage someone else to not take her life.
Need some ideas? Here are some easy, inexpensive random acts of kindness you can do today.
- Hold the door open for a few people, not just the person beside you
- Stick a few quarters in a parking meter
- Carry a box for someone at the post office, or help someone put grocery bags into her car
- Print out a funny cartoon and mail it to a friend with a short note
- Write a corny love note or short poem for your spouse
- Leave sticky notes in public places with an inspirational quote
- Offer to return a shopping cart for someone parked in a disabled spot
- Keep granola bars and bottles of water in your car to give to the homeless
- Tell a tele-marker you know how tough their job is and if they can do this they can do anything
- Get helium-filled balloons at the dollar store and take them to people who need cheered up
You can find more ideas for random acts of kindness here at the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation web site where they have hundreds listed.
If you need a motivator, this video shares music by Jill Scott with some things to remember when it comes to those acts of kindness.
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.
10 Tips to Avoid Your Illness Support Group Becoming Depressing(restministries.com)
Some really good stuff in these postings today, lisa. Keep up the good work. God is doing great things thru you, and i just wanted to encourage you and remind you that i am uplifting you in prayer. Enjoy the sun for me, and i’ll admire the beauty of mt hood for you. Take care and God bless you always.
30 years ago I got sick and during the next five years of fevers, my son was conceived, he showed same symptoms at puberty, and suffered a stroke at 21. Blood clotting disorders and multi system CNS illnesses as me. We have lost our home, health, vehicles, family…., and now the rest of the little we own and and being told we cannot stay with my daughter. This is not the daughter I raised, and I am very concerned for her. She has a hardened heart and didn’t before, I raised three children alone, with the Lord while sick. We were close and had fun and love and laughter, that was the LORD’s doing, after my husband left and we has been in marriage ministry. . Never never did I, could I expect this would happen. My son and I are very saddened, so sick and now know we will die when they put t us out, this is my daughters husband, a soon to be youth pastor too, I am very sad about that. He was so different. Now he pretends we are invisible, doesn’t say a word to my son or me u less we say something first, then its one word or nothing. my daughter leaves every day and we have no food. Before they eat, They pray alone, leaving us out, this all hurts my son so much as he always wanted a brother, this is not what Jesus would do, not a good example. Causing stumbling for my son and he is already so sad about hisseverepain and body failing him. I am older now, weaker and want my son to live, to get better.
Is there any communities where chronically I’ll people live together…there should be, we are in AZ and living w high pain levels and viral illnesses, we will die out on the street. It is triple digits temps here and we get more ill going out. The pollution makes us sicker too. We have talked about dieng before that happens.(Being put out.) Never felt so alone, we used to have such love and laughtein our family and home before this young man came into my daughters life. I am praying he be filled with the Holy Spirit, only HE can do the work in his heart, please pray for softened hearts and open doors for my young son and me. God bless youI do not want this published publicly please..
I’m not sure I like the underlying implication in this article; people who are suicidal need to be kinder?
It’s so simple? If you do Acts of Random Kindness deep despair and pain will be eased away – oh please!
You give powerful, and helpful reasons for reaching out whoever you are, whatever your situation – no argument with it at all.
But deeply wounded people need help with facing their demons and time and healing love – just being kind won’t ‘save the lost’ either as givers or receivers – that’s what Jesus came for!
Helen, I do agree. this is a reprint of an article I wrote for another website and they have a 300-word restriction or so. I think if you read other articles on our website you will see we always point people to Jesus. But thinking outside of ourselves, for anyone who is hurting, does help us, both scientifically and spiritually.
When I went thru major depression & suicidal thoughts in ’06, my wife & I felt lead to give our tithe check to friends – a family who was struggling financially. Every month, I sent the check with a card in which I tried to write an encouraging word. It wasn’t random, but it gave me deep joy & satisfaction whenever they expressed thanks or appreciation.
I also liked to buy a big chocolate bar & would share part of it with our family, which was a small joy in a dark period.
Random acts of kindness probably won’t solve your depression, but it can add some bright moments on a dark day. I do believe that Jesus did random acts of kindness.