“For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah.” (Psalm 32:4)
Summer. As the temperatures rise, and kids get out of school, many people, are celebrating. Summer is a time of vacations, memories, barbequing with friends, going to the beach, camping, and so much more. For one who lives with a chronic illness, however, it can be bittersweet.
Last weekend my family was invited to a birthday party–about 4 hours before it began. I told the host we would come, but I was physically worn out from my rheumatoid arthritis, sore from falling the day before, and didn’t think I could sit outside, in any hard chair for six hours. I did not know anyone and I just didn’t feel up to making small talk all day. At first, I planned to just come later for the BBQ dinner, but as it started getting complicated with son’s anxiety about Daddy leaving to come back to get me, I backed out and told my husband and son to just go and have fun.
My husband called later from the children’s party and said it was beautiful at the host’s house, overlooking a lake. But he’d had to walk along a hillside to get to the party area and there was no shade. He said, “I wish you were here but it really is not conducive for you.”
I made the right choice. Still, I wandered around the house without purpose. If I was too ill to go, was I too ill to go somewhere else? Should I conserve my energy for when they came home since my son insisted he as just going for a couple of hours? (I did wait and then they stayed late to swim and eat dinner.)
If you live with illness, summer can create a whole new list of things you can’t do: sit in the sun, eat ice cream, walk in the sand, find a place just to sit down, survive humidity and heat, and the list goes on. . . And if you are a parent, you may be feeling overwhelmed at entertaining your children all summer on your limited energy. How do you explain to their friend’s moms that you just can’t hang out at the pool for six hours?
I am learning to pace. I am considering what is best for me–not just for others, because oftentimes, the expectations of others are all in my head. People are more understanding than I sometimes believe them to be.
Prayer: God, there are so many things my heart wants to do and be by one I feel like I just keep having to cancel. Help me learn to prioritize them and know when to pass–or when to just go for it, even if I am in pain. Guide me in making wise choices for my health and place people around me who understand.
About the author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.
You can now read this on your Kindle. Find out more at http://TodaysDevotionOnKindle.com
What events are you hoping to do this summer that mean the most to you? How can you do everything in your power so that this may be able to occur? If you are unable to, what is your “back up plan” to get you through lonely times?
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Thank you, Lisa, for the “summertime” devotional. Even though it’s my favorite time of year, it’s the hardest because of those things I can’t do. I appreciate your insights! Blessings and hugs to you…Helen
I am so struggling with this. We planned a trip with the whole family to Disney this summer and everything is bought – Disney tickets – airfare – motel, etc. Now, I have double knee replacement planned right after we get home from the trip. Actually, I would have it sooner except the Dr. said I needed to wait until after the trip to give time for the rehab. In the meantime, I almost flipped my scooter on the curb of the sidewalk and caught it with my right leg. It has been in awful pain ever since. It hurts to walk, hurts to sleep, just plain hurts and the trip to Disney doesn’t even sound fun. When I tell my husband and my family, I really don’t even want to go to Disney, I would rather stay at the motel and read, swim in the pool and relax, all I get is a push to go to Disney. We have 3 days of tickets. I am between a rock and a hard place. Yes, I want to see my grandchildren enjoying themselves but no, I think I will be in pain, hot, crowded and just want to go lie down. I can’t seem to get people to understand and then my husband will say things like then he won’t go either. I want him to go. How can I get this across? Life has changed and he doesn’t like the changes and I can’t help that. Any ideas on how to smooth this between all of us. Yes, I will probably be willing to go to Disney some but I can’t stay there alld ay, just no way. I know – compromise. But I am already fretting over this trip. I also, of course have this surgery in the back of my mind. Lots going on. Thanks for listening. melody in colorado – I have chronic migraines, severe arthritis, disc problems all in my back that causes lots of pain, fibro, high blood pressure, have had about a dozen surgeries, and a host of other trifling things not worth mentioning but all adds up to Pain!
Today, I am experiencing the same thing Lisa shared in today’s devotional. I am a grandmother and do enjoy watching my grandchildren when I can. I am getting used to having to pace myself, but I am not sure my two grown sons really understand when I have to say I can’t watch the kids. These past few weeks I felt pretty good. I was able to plant my vegetable garden and begin working on a new flower garden. It was unseasonably hot for our area and if I didn’t get the vegetables planted by the end of May, I might be ending up up having to deal with an early frost as the end of our growing season is unpredictable. I worked hard and got everything in, but I also got very tired. I didn’t get a good report from the kidney doctor either as my kidney function fell 5 points. It explains the fatigue to me but my family can’t seem to put it together. I had to say no to my son to watch my granddaughter while they cleaned out the barn. I could tell in his voice he didn’t understand. But I understand and I guess that is what matters. I did enjoy planning and planting my garden. I had so much less physical pain compared to last year. I just have to deal with endurance and sometimes that can really narrow my world to just myself.
Thank you Lisa for dealing with this season. Where I live the summer weather doesn’t last very long so we have to do our best to take advantage of it when we can.
Last year, starting in August and ending the end of October, we saw our son and his family, who came to western Canada from their mission post in Mexico, to visit family, friends and supporters. They were here in our home three different times and we got to spend an extra few hours with our grandchildren and their other grandparents as well. So that was the highlight for me.
This year we don’t have any set plans. We’ll continue our ministry at our church, still without a pastor. That will keep us very busy. I have felt a desperate need to get away and have a complete change since last summer.
Depending on the timing, I may be able to see our former pastor and his wife in their new home for a few days. I’m praying that will work out. My husband has one place he’s been wanting to see in our nearest city and I have another there. The only way we’re going to do it is to set dates and try to keep them.
Our family are all too far away to visit and our finances are quite limited. That’s hard.
I love spending time on our deck, just enjoying nature, worshiping the Creator, sipping tea or cold lemonade and reading. But sometimes I just feel like all the setting up is too much of an effort. I pray I’ll be able to do that it often.
I love your prayer Lisa. Thank you so much.
This devotional today was perfect timing. I’ve been feeling depressed since yesterday when my uncle called and invited me to a family reunion in a neighboring state. The obstacles for me to overcome to be able to attend would be huge. Just the thought makes me tired. And then there’s the money. I feel angry some too. If there weren’t all the Dr. bills I’d have money for a nice vacation. The price of gas is ridiculous as well. Instead my world seems so small. I”m having a hard time, trying not to feel sorry for myself and ask, “Why me, God”? Why do I have to be the one left out when the others will be lounging by the pool, eating BBQ and going to the museum or ocean. like Beth I will enjoy my own patio and drink sun tea, watch the birds and praise God for his goodness.
Tricia: My heart goes out to you! What you’ll miss if you don’t go to this reunion sounds heavenly.
Today my husband and I had a little outing. We went to the city and had a delicious meal out a favourite restaurant. Then we went to get our bedding plants. And to see the mama goat and her cute little twins they have at this place. We were both looking forward to looking at all the flowers, but it was hot and it was hard on us physically.
I thought I was well prepared to pick out what we wanted, but they’d made some changes with the grouping of their petunias and I got totally confused, even though I asked several questions. Anyway, I did the best I could until I’d come to the end of my mental and physical energy and we brought some plants home. But me? I cried all the way home and then some. The day took so much out of me.
I’m praying that I’ll enjoy transferring them to the pots and not be worrying about all the other normal chores, that will have to wait.
Our negative feelings are hard to deal with. I have one of those milestone birthdays coming up and I told the Lord today that I don’t want to become a bitter old woman. I’m so glad that He weeps along with us and that He’s always with us to give us the grace to give Him all our burdens.
Blessings Tricia!
Beth