When you are exhausted of the battle of illness, how do you find the faithfulness of God? Karlton shares his experience.
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” (Isaiah 40:29)
By the winter of 2010-2011 I was circling the drain. My strength was gone, I could see the fear of my approaching death in the eyes of my loved ones. Two choices were laid before me, continue on down the drain and surrender to the inevitable, or take a chance on an operation that I might be too weak to survive or recover from.
What was worse, the heavens were silent. Despite the faithfulness of God and my years of pleading with God for an answer to my situation, it did not come.
After a lifetime of sensing God’s guidance and direction, by that winter I had no clue as to what to do. Yet I had the operation, and as I feared, I had little strength for the recovery. Twice I ended up in the emergency room just days after being released from the hospital.
On my second emergency room visit the doctor looked at me and asked if I wanted orange juice or something. I told him that would be fine. The nurse brought me the juice and asked: “Did you ask him if you could have some orange juice?” I told her “no,” that he had asked me. With a stupefied look on her face she said: “He has has never done that before.”
Yes, I was in such bad shape that even an emergency room doctor who sees death and dying people every day saw how pathetic I was and in what terrible shape I was in and felt pity for me.
I have said that to say this: I survived. I w on that battle. And long after my ordeal I realized that God would not tell me to have the surgery because He would ask no more of me. If I finished my race and went on to be with Him, that was fine. But the choice was up to me. I’m glad I continued the fight even though I had no strength left.
I continue to struggle with my health, and I think God would remind you and me that we have won some battles, and in many cases, the small battles we fight now are nothing compared to what we have already survived. If you are living with a chronic illness you have likely won some battles and have seen the faithfulness of God.
And while it does no good to mourn and relive things we have already endured, it is a good thing to remember that we have some wins under our belt.
Perhaps, like me, you bear some internal and external battle scars. Maybe right now you are fighting a terrible battle. If you are tempted to lose heart, and we all are at times, I encourage you to remember how far you have come, the terrible battles you have already survived, and that with the Lord’s help you will win the war of affliction.
Prayer: Dear Lord, we soon forget what You have already brought us through, help us to remember the victories we have already gained through Your grace and mercy. Amen.
About the Author:
Karlton Douglas lives in Ohio with his lovely wife. The Lord has graciously allowed him to survive some battles, to remain and continue to praise the name of the Lord.
Have your battles gotten you down lately? Have you considered the battles you have already won? When you hear “the faithfulness of God” do you recall just the happy moments, or His presence through the trials too?
If you need a couple minutes to remind you of God’s faithfulness, this is a beautiful video below of 25 scriptures about God’s faithfulness with images of the Oregon coast in the background.
I am at that point of feeling very tired. It feels like a depression as I experience it every year at this time. This year it is especially deep as I have spent the past year coming to terms with a trauma I experienced as a child that shaped my life in many ways. That also fits into the depression I experience at the end of each summer as they are related. I have worked hard to get an understanding of what happened. Maybe the depression is really a sadness as I mourn what happened to me and how it affected me, my choices and so many other things. What happened seems to have finally come together for m,e and as I look upon all of this, God has been faithful. He has fought a number of battles for me and gave me the strength to fight as well. Thank you, Lord!
Karlton, thank you. I really needed to see this today. I am not in a battle for my health at this moment, but I am in a battle that seems, from my perspective, to be winnable.
My wife walked out on me 4 days before Christmas. I got an attorney, because the brain tumor and the medication that I take can cause me to0 forget, or make mistakes. I also got an attorney because the Bible says in Proverbs “Seek wise council.” Now, I was under the assumption that when I asked for a legal aid lawyer that I was going to get ‘wise’ council. Nothing could be further than the truth.My lawyer is not qualified to handle a divorce case, I now know. I may end up having to give her the house, because I have been unable to do what I said I would do to the judge.
Irregardless of what happens, I know, I KNOW AND BELIEVE that Christ IS right here with me. I have often said that I know the Lord has a plan, I just wish that He would call me, email me, or send me snail mail to tell me what ‘it’ is! Our Christ does not work that way. Jesus says “be still, and know that I am God.
Karlton spoke of the silence. I have found that I can deal with it when God says NO, I can deal with it better yet when God says “YES”. However, when the Lord says, “now what a minute. Let me check that out. Wait, Lord? I don’t want to wait, Lord. I want to know RIGHT NOW! We then take on the maturation of a 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum over a piece of candy, or a toy, at the local store.
Yet, I have found, that looking back, and seeing the times where it seemed like, and sure felt like, it was Th down, I was out of time-outs, and I had one second on the clock and 60 yards to go, and it seemed like even a miracle would not help….That God was there, and was watching over me always.
As the song says “our God is an AWESOME God>” Thank you Lord for everything You do for me. Please bless and protect everyone that reads this. In Christ, Shannon
Peggy, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I pray your depression improves and your end of summer gets better.
Blessings.
Karlton
Shannon, I too struggle with patience, it’s one of my greatest weaknesses. I hope you find both patience and wisdom for the difficulty you are going through.
Blessings.
Karlton
Karlton, your reminder to recall the victories that God has already brought us through is a very good one. He does battle for us so that we can come through. it is hard in the midst of the battle to recall such times – thus your reminder is a GREAT word to all of us. Thanks!
Lynn
Thanks Karlton….as usual a timely reminder from the Lord through you. Thank you! I’m feeling sick & tired of feeling sick & tired!! Reading what you, Peggy, Shannon & Lynn have said have given me much needed perspective. Thanks all. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Karlton, thank you for this devotional. I am glad you survived the operation, because I always learn a lot and find a lot of understanding and comfort from your devotionals! Thank you for all of them. I have ulcerative colitis and depression, along with a few other things, so I know how you feel in similar ways. May the Lord bless and guide you as you travel on through life with Him.