My Family Doesn’t See The Benefit of Me Doing Online Ministry When Bed-Bound

I spend a great deal of time in bed due to my illness and have made some amazing friendships and really feel like God has given me a ministry on the Internet reaching out to other people who are hurting and encouraging them. I am on Facebook, twitter, and other social networks. But my family sees this as an aimless waste of time and tells me that I don’t have real relationships with these people so I can’t truly make a difference. Do you think they are right? And if not, how can I convince them that people online need the Lord too and I may be someone they reach out to? -Renee (real name withheld)

Renee, I disagree with your family. God has given us a wonderful tool to use to glorify Him. I have been a support group leader for people who suffer from dysautonomia, a rare/chronic illness for over a decade. One person in particular I finally got to meet in person after chatting and supporting them on the internet for a whole decade. And I can say that it was not a waste of time, she was and is a real person who God lead me to help time and time again.

I just had a book come out nationwide on living with dysautonomia. There is an article on the book and they interviewed Floy my internet friend. She stated how I was always there for her, when her husband walked out, when her son went to college, when she had to go to the hospital and when she was depressed. So, yes I made a difference in her life. That is living proof that you can make a huge impact through the internet.

What is important to remember is that we are here on earth for God and not ourselves. So we need to answer to God. I have found that serving other dysautonomia sufferers is what God has called me to do. I actually work for God, and although I suffer greatly from my illness it gives me great joy, hope and love when I help others for our Lord Jesus Christ.

The fact is the only one you need to answer to is God. Your family members are human, the bible clearly says not to lean on men for strength, but on God.

When I first became ill in 1997 I searched daily for someone who suffered from the same illness. One day I signed on the computer and I had a message from a girl who was suffering just like me. I sobbed with joy that there was someone else like me. That is when I knew God wanted me to reach out to others and help them. I feel Renee you are right in Gods path and that by helping others you are working for God and I consider the best job in the whole world.

Lynn Fox Adams, author of “God Needs ME: Living with Dysautonomia,” has been bed ridden for the past 15 years with a rare chronic condition called dysautonomia. When she lost her job, family members, savings and all of her physical abilities she turned to God and has found that He is all she needs. She has had the honor of being featured in a variety of newspaper articles and magazines and has spoken on Capitol Hill in front of house and senate. You can contact Lynn at lynnfoxadams@charter.net .

Fireproof – A Good Valentine’s Rental Movie

Fireproof is an amazing movie that was out in 2008 that set records for any independent film. Starring actor Kirk Cameron, heplays a fire chief and a man who is well-respected by those in his community. But his marriage is nearing the end. It’s not because of an affair with another person, or some dramatic event that takes place; but rather because, day by day, both spouses take one another a little more for granted and move away from each other than toward each other. Both are searching for validation of their emotions and even simple appreciation.

Despite the fact that the movie was at the theaters two years ago the ministry of this movie continues to impact lives and change marriages. They have set up a Fireproof website specifically for Valentine’s Day review can hear the author made some of the love dares that were completed in the film, send a Fireproof e-card, or listen to one of their hit songs from the film and download it–John Waller’s song “While I’m Waiting” from the FIREPROOF Soundtrack CD.

Here are 8 reasons I believe every married couple who copes with chronic illness should see this movie:

1. The dialogue is real, as if the writers were hiding behind the furniture of living rooms around the world and eves-dropping on actual conversations, arguments and threats. Let’s face it… real fights are most often about who has done the dishes. You won’t find the typical Hollywood lingo in this film like, “You had me at hello.”

2. The burden of care-giving is addressed. The “wife” in the relationship has a mother who has recently had a stroke. The expense of the medical equipment she needs, like a wheelchair and a bed, is shown in this film, something nearly always overlooked in your typical movie. Though this situation may be dissimilar to yours, it’s helpful to see illness and its impact on a marriage acknowledged as a stressor in a marriage relationship.

3. It will make you laugh. Just because the emotions run deep enough to bring on many tears in this movie, doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself laughing through those tears at times. Even if your marriage is “perfect” and you think you don’t need a boost, it’s a move night to share with your spouse just for fun. The firehouse crew is and the little things the actors do, where you see yourself, will bring smiles to your face.

4. It tells both sides of the story. Whether you are the spouse who is trying to make your marriage work, or the one who just wants out, you’ll find many of your emotions and fears represented. Though the husband in this film is made out in some cases to have been the one with some “problems” the wife isn’t without room for improvement in how she treats her husband either. A surprise twist at the end will leave you with a reminder that no one is perfect, regardless of how they may appear to be.

5. It’s packed with real life scenarios, including those of a fireman. This isn’t a cheap flick with a strong message, but a strong film that happens to have a solid message. If you love those “edge of your seat” movie scenes when you are eating popcorn as fast as you can get your hand to your mouth, you won’t be disappointed. If you’re a woman, you can rest easy that there is plenty of “guy stuff” in this movie that won’t make your man feel like he’s at a chick flick.

6. Kirk Cameron yells. Okay, maybe not one of the top reasons to see this film, but watching him lose his temper and kick a trash can may just leave the men (or women) in the audience feeling like they aren’t being judged of silly behavior or lost tempers. Most of us have had a situation where we’ve wanted to please our spouse and their response made us want to go kick something, right?

7. It provides a tool to take along. The book “The Love Dare,” which the actor works through to win his wife’s heart back, may seem more like a way for the movie makers to make an extra buck. It’s not. In fact, all actors worked for free. The book is rather a way that you can take something tangible away from the film and literally start applying it to your own marriage. As my mom and I left the theater the guys beside us exchanged words. “I guess I have to go order my wife some flowers now… but it’s going to cost me a fortune!” “Hey, weren’t you listening. It doesn’t matter how much they cost.” The great thing is, if you’re on a budget, expensive flowers aren’t required; it’s the actions.

If I was a Christian counselor I would hand couples the DVD (when available) and tell them to go watch it together before our first appointment.

A nice plus is the “behind the scenes” honor that actor Kirk Cameron gives his wife by keeping his own promises: he vowed to her (despite being an actor) to never kiss another woman. So his wife was flown in for the kiss at the end of the film, where she stood in for the actress. He’s been married seventeen years, is the father of six children, and a strong believer in Christ who is not ashamed to proclaim it. That makes me want to listen up to what he has to say. He made the rounds before the film released, including spots on the Today Show, Dr Phil (9/25/08) and many more and he has done well. Despite some over-eager or even rude (names not mentioned) interviewers, he has represented Christ well. He’s come a long way from the posters on my little sister’s wall!

And on a side note, you may be interested to know he founded a camp over twenty years ago, Camp Firefly, for chronically ill children and their families. (Go, Kirk!)

As the founder of Rest Ministries which serves those who live with chronic illness, I firmly stand behind this movie as being one of the best to impact a marriage. It may be the two best hours you give your marriage since the day of your vows.

Lisa Copen

PS: You may also be interested in this: Focus on the Family is putting together a “special marriage seminar on February 27 that your church can host. The Focus on Marriage simulcast conference is Saturday, February 27.” Stephen Kendrick, author of Fireproof and The Love Dare is one of the guest speakers. You can attend at a church near you that offers this event via satellite. Find a location near you here at FOTF’s web site.

 

Special Interview with Renee Bondi

Reprinted from HopeKeepers Magazine 2004

I was having a ball with wedding plans; my music program was a huge success; I was blessed to have had the opportunity to travel and see the world; I had friends and family to love. My life was full, and I saw nothing but blue skies above,” she writes in her book The Last Dance But Not the Last Song. But in May 1988, after a romantic weekend as a prom chaperone with her fiancé, her life would take a dramatic dive—literally.

She went to bed filled with innocent anticipation of life ahead, but awoke “diving” off the foot of her bed. She simply remembers being in mid- air and thinking, “Huh?” and then hitting the floor. Filled with searing pain in her neck and shoulders, she thought, “I’ve really done it now. . . I’ve got a real kink in my neck.”

Later at ICU, however, the doctor would tell her, “You’ll never walk again. . .” and he would be right. That night, Renée became a quadriplegic, having no feeling below the top of her chest. He also told her, however, “You’ll never be able to sing. . .” —and he would be wrong. He didn’t know Renée, her fierce determination and passionate spunk; nor did he understand her faith that would propel her forward through any challenges she would face. Today, Renée has sold over 100,000 albums and she travels throughout the United States singing and speaking for Christian conferences, church events, and youth rallies. But the closest thing to her heart right now is simply being a wife and a mother, miracles that she acknowledge astonish her daily.

I arrived at the church to meet with Renée a bit frazzled, as my directions were confusing. I had also read Renée’s book and I was experiencing a sense of nerves at meeting this inspiring woman. I no longer wanted to sit and just interview her; I wanted to have a relaxing cup of coffee and chat about how she had encouraged me through her honest and raw written words. I started out my conversation with her laughingly sharing how much I related with her frustration of not being able to wear cute, feminine shoes. It’s those little things that make one feel an instant bond.

Despite our surroundings of being in a cubby-hole behind the stage where she would perform in a few minutes when she spoke it was Holy Ground where I would sit with her. Renée’s deep faith and daily surrender were immediately evident.

HK: Many people find losing more abilities the hardest part of living with a chronic condition. How do you get through tough moments?

RB: I’ve often wondered what would it be like if I had something like MS where I wouldn’t really know where I’m going to be in a year. One may wake up tomorrow with some paralysis or dysfunction. At the beginning we felt that way, but after fifteen years, I know what I have is pretty much what I have. I know what tomorrow is going to bring. I don’t have the fear that you may, unless I don’t take care of myself. What has helped me over the years is knowing that with God I can handle anything.

I didn’t have that confidence when I was young, but now I know that I can get through anything–including being confined to the wheelchair– because tomorrow is another day and it could be better. I don’t want to sound like a Pollyanna at all, but I know I’m not going to stay this way forever. I can even have this outlook with the worst case scenario: let’s say I get a pressure wound that gets horrible and infected and I get a staph infection and die. . . Still, it’s not horrible. I will go to Heaven where I get to dance again and run and play and be able to use my body. What most people would call the very worst scenario isn’t bad.

HK: I think that describes the “joy of the Lord is my strength” because a lot of people would say tomorrow could be worse.

RB: And it could be, but you’re not doing yourself any favors.

HK: You’ve had some time where you’ve been bedridden for months. What kinds of things get you through these lonely times?

RB: I think what you can do when you’re having a bad day, rather than being depressed about it, is to go ask yourself, “What can I do to make this better? Am I taking care of myself? Do I have the right medical care and attendant care? Have I made good amends with my family? Do I have a relationship with family members or are they estranged? What changes can I make myself?” Rather than dwell and woe about my life, I need to really ask myself, “What can I do?”

HK: You’ve found a certain peace by having a ministry from your experience. How would you encourage someone who is in deep pain, but still waiting for God to reveal His purpose?

RB: I think it’s really important to know that God does not waste our suffering or pain. I had been through junk, pain and suffering, but others wanted to know, “How do you smile in that wheelchair?” It allowed me to share and question, “How do I?” I was able to realize that God was using everything I had been through for a larger purpose. So I would encourage people to help others in their pain because (a) it helps you get out of your own and put your focus on somebody else; and (b) it gives you purpose to live with the pain.

HK: What’s been the most surprising thing about being a mom with disability?

RB: How quickly my son adapted to my disability. He was only about 12 or 18 months old. . . He needed to get out of the crib and I would calmly say, “Daniel, I’m going to help you get out of the crib. Be very careful and listen to mommy. Grab around my head and hold on tight. Do not let go because mommy cannot catch you. Mommy cannot catch you.” And he’d grab around my neck and climb out and crawl into my lap. How he got out of that crib and onto my lap was amazing. I was so surprised.

HK: I think that’s very encouraging for us moms to hear. Many of us are even more nervous than an average mom about how our child will adapt to different abilities we have.

RB: Oh good. Yes! I was very nervous about the infant stage. Very nervous.

HK: If you could reshape how a church reaches out to the disabled community, what would be your vision or your dream?

RB: Some churches are doing an excellent job, but I think they are far and few between. I think that’s something we as disabled people should take on. We ask ourselves, “What do I have to offer to society?” and this is a huge job —to come to our pastor or parish advisory board and say, “What are we doing really to minister to the disabled? Can I help? Can I start a Bible study for the disabled? Can I make sure we have an accessible church? Where can we sit comfortably? Not all together, for example. If I’m disabled, how can I sit with my family?”

It’s absolutely important not to go in with a hardened heart and with an attitude of, “You owe it to me, you’re my church!” But rather offer yourself to be part of the solution. Don’t be an angry, bitter, demanding person.

I would love to see everything accessible, Bible studies that speak specifically to suffering, and signers for hearing impaired at all services, and my absolute dream would be to have a disabled person on staff. I love the fact that many churches have disability Sunday. Sunday school for children. That’s so hard and I understand why it doesn’t happen because it takes the right people. It’s a big job description—for people to have special education skills and also a relationship with Christ. But it’s a dream.

HK: What dreams do you have for your ministry and how God will continue to work in you and your family’s life?

RB: When I was laying in the ICU, I never dreamed I’d now be a wife and a mom—well. . .yes, I did, because I was in denial: “Of course I will be!” But later . . . after denial, I realized this is real, this is my “thing.” Now, to be a wife and a mom and be able to reach out to others is just more than I deserve.

I am in a very, very, very serious place of being a wife and a mom. If I was in my 20’s and single, I’d want to travel and be a recording artist and speak and minister to others on a grand scale, get a record deal, that sort of thing. But I just have no desire; it’s exhausting to parent this way, there is no doubt about it. I’ve had to get very creative at times—very creative. But more importantly, I want to be a good wife; It’s really about being a good wife in order to be a good mom. That’s the gift we’re going to give our son—mom and dad being okay.

This year I was in bed for seven months on my stomach 24 hours a day, seven days a week, while a pressure wound healed; after that I finally got back up in the chair and had other health problems. It was very taxing on our marriage, very difficult. But we finally survived it. We really started praying for joy. We wanted to be joyful. We were whining and cranky. It was very ugly and so we prayed for God to return our joy.

This year Mike and I went through what everyone expected us to go through fifteen years ago, like when everyone was saying, “What is Mike doing marrying a quadriplegic. Does he realize what he’s giving up?” He realized it this year. But now, we’re much, much better.

Again, I had to step back and look at it without being emotional and ask, “What can I do to help the situation?” I started meditating on Philippians 4:8, “Whatever is true…” and so while I was stuck in bed I’d go through that verse. Okay, what is true? God loves me. What is true? I’m a quadriplegic and I need to find a way to be joyful. What is noble? Mike being married to me. What is pure? Daniel’s smile. What is lovely? I can see the sky outside.

Once I started meditating on this my attitude and heart started to change and I became someone my husband wanted to be around. Mike said, “Okay, that’s the woman I married. She left for awhile, but she’s back now.”

I taped Scriptures on 3 x 5 cards and put them by my bed, and I’d say them over and over, sometimes putting melodies to them. It really helped pass the day in a good way. I also watched every romantic comedy on video, but I got to where I needed more. I called Joni Eareckson Tada and said, “What can I do? I’ve prayed. I need some new ideas! I’m going down for the count!” She said that it was during these times that she began memorizing the second, third and fourth verses of hymns.

Sometimes it’s hard to pray. I remember soon after the accident when I was in the hospital and a chaplain came to pray with me. She said, “Let’s pray,” and I said, “I don’t feel like it. . .” She told me to breath in and say “Jesus.” Then slowly breath out and say “Mercy. . .” “Jesus. . . Mercy. . .” and soon my heart began to soften.

HK: Thanks so much for sharing with us, Renée. I know you will encourage many.

Visit Renee Bondi’s web site for more information on her ministry, her speaking, music and more, including her latest book and CD (where you can hear samples.)

Lisa Copen had the honor of interviewing Renee Bondi.

Love Letter Contest by Focus on the Family

Focus on the Family has announced that they are having their first “Love Letters Contest.” If you’d like to tell your spouse how much you love them, this is a great way to do it and possibly even win a prize. Just visit the Focus on the Family website and explain to them “why you want to grow old with your spouse.”

Each day from Feb. 1-11 they will choose their 4 favorite love letters and each couple will win a prize. February 12 they will choose the Grand Prize recipient from all of the daily winners. This will be a “unforgettable trip to the live ccn.tv/focusonmarriage/” target=”_blank”>Focus on Marriage™ simulcast on Feb. 27 in Colorado Springs, CO.”

Click here to enter the Love Letters Contest!

Grand Prize Includes:
- Round-trip transportation to Colorado Springs, CO
- Two nights at The Broadmoor Hotel and Resort
- Tickets to the live Focus on Marriage™ simulcast event
- An exclusive dinner with the speakers
- Autographed books
- Essentials of Marriage™ products

Find Health Answers at Your Fingertips

Have you ever gone to an internet search engine website like Google to look up information on health? A survey conducted by the Pew Internet and American Life Project, 61 percent of adults say they look online for health information. There’s a new term for this: e-patients.

E- patients take internet searches a step further. Not only do they occasionally conduct internet searches about health; but they become involved in online groups and organizations dedicated to a particular aspect of their health.

The upside? We can find people out there who know what we are going through. We can become involved in discussions with other patients like ourselves who have experienced the same side effects, the same pain, and most importantly, some of the same emotional aspects of dealing with an illness.

The downside? The internet makes everything accessible instantaneously. This may be feeding our fast paced society where our questions are never answered fast enough, especially in relation to our health. The internet is creating a shift in the health world, and this fast pace may be hard for hospitals and doctors to catch up with.

As far as generic information and moral support, the internet is a great tool. However, there is still a need to rely on traditional healthcare and to have a team of professionals around you. Not all patients are the same, and not all of our health related questions can be answered on Google.

Naomi Kingery, twenty year old brittle diabetic and author of The Sugar Free Series available at www.livetolovediabetes.com.

Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

The pains of divorce and separation are real, but they don’t have to last. For many, making a New Year’s resolution to attend a DivorceCare group has been the key to healing. This is an article we are passing on.

WAKE FOREST, NC, Dec 2009/Christian Newswire/ — For people facing the pain of divorce or separation, the New Year is a good time to commit to the healing process. A marital breakup can be devastating for the individuals going through it, as it affects emotions, self-esteem, children, finances and daily energy levels. With so much personal upheaval, most people going through divorce are unsure of how to find complete healing from the hurt, and hope for the future.

Many experience a breakthrough in this process by attending a DivorceCare divorce recovery support group. More than 12,000 churches across the country and around the world are equipped to offer DivorceCare programs.

Steve Grissom, founder and president of DivorceCare, believes the start of a New Year is a great time to put a plan in place to find healing: “A key step in healing is anticipating a brighter future, instead of focusing on the hurts of the past. Joining a DivorceCare group is a proactive step in that direction.”

The groups are made up of people who understand the depth of emotions, the questions “Why?” and the desperation often faced by those in a divorce or separation. Because they have this understanding, they won’t judge the decisions, emotions or actions of those who come.

“I came into the program with fear of rejection and was welcomed with open arms,” said Heidi, a participant in Warren, MI. “People totally understood what I was going through.”

These biblically based support groups are designed to be led by trained, mature facilitators who’ve experienced divorce or separation. They can help answer questions posed by group participants and point people to practical and spiritual help to aid the healing process.

A typical group meeting begins with a magazine-style video seminar featuring insights from top experts on divorce and recovery subjects, and profiles of people who’ve experienced healing after a divorce or separation. Featured experts include H. Norman Wright, Dr. Jim Talley, Dr. Tony Evans and Dr. Linda Mintle. After viewing the video, DivorceCare group members participate in a moderated small group time to discuss concepts learned on the video and to share personal struggles and victories (although some people choose not to share). Each person then receives a workbook with a short, daily devotional study and journaling section for reflection during the week.

Through DivorceCare, participants will learn to:

· Identify and cope with tough emotions, such as anger, loneliness and depression

· Manage their new financial situation

· Make wise choices regarding their children (if applicable)

· Carefully manage new relationships

· Find out more about forgiveness and reconciliation

· Lean on God for acceptance, comfort and healing

“I came to the group broken, and left with a restored faith in God,” said Dawn, a DivorceCare participant from Tacoma, WA. “I felt as if I was no longer alone in what was one of the deepest and darkest times of my life.”

The thought of taking that first step into a DivorceCare group can seem scary, and people often come up with all kinds of excuses not to go in. But these groups are filled with people who’ve felt exactly the same, and who did take that first step. They will be there to make newcomers feel welcome and comfortable.

“The first night I came to a DivorceCare group, I didn’t know a single person there,” shared Mike, who attended a group in Raleigh, NC. “I wasn’t sure what to anticipate. We watched the videos, had a time of fellowship and had a discussion time. For people hesitating to attend a group, I would encourage them to relate it to getting up to go to work–some days you don’t feel like it, but you know what’s best for you.”

To find a DivorceCare divorce recovery support group, visit www.divorcecare.org/findagroup and enter a zip code, city/state or country for a list of groups near you. Or call 800-489-7778 for assistance in locating a group.

Eat Out w/ Kids and Save Money

If your family likes to go out for the occasional meal but you don’t want to spend $10 for your child to have a hamburger and fries you may want to log on first to this web site, www.KidsEatFor.

In just a few minutes you can locate all the restaurants in your city where kids eat free on certain days.

Just type in your address or zip code and click the search button and you’ll find all of the nearby restaurants that offer specials where kids can eat a meal for free, often times when an adult meal is also purchased.

KidsEatFor is available on the iPhone and iPod Touch.
Another site to check out is kidsmealdeals.com

The Grinch & 2 Spa Prizes Next Week

It’s that time of the year again when we share our annual Grinch story! Only this year we want to hear a few sentences from you too!

Just post a couple Seuss-style sentences below in the common section that have anything to do with the holidays, illness, etc. and we will take pick our two favorites next week and send you a little spa just as our treat!

Feeling Grinchy?

Every person around
The country it seemed
Liked Christmas a lot…
All was joy, red and green.
But the Grinch,
Who lived with illness,
And had a heart of the blues,
Did not like Christmas!
The Grinch dreaded Christmas!
The whole Christmas season!
So much to do, so little energy,
there were all kinds of reasons.

It could be said that the medicines
were making her mind feel like putty,
She went shopping at last,
and forgot why she had gone—how nutty.
But we think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that her heart was hurting,
trying to find her place in it all.

But, whatever the reason,
Her heart or her head,
She laid there on Christmas morning,
with a feeling of dread.
Staring up at the ceiling from the bed, feeling very down,
She wondered how to make it through this day,
without even the hint of a frown.
For she knew every friend and family member around,
Would be arriving soon,
ready to open the gifts and paint the town.
“I just want to feel decent!” she snarled with a sneer.
“Today is Christmas! It’s actually here!”
Then she growled, with her Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I must find a way to keep the pain from coming!”

For, later she knew…
…All the relatives would arrive
They would bring with them her nieces and nephews who would make a
mess
and tons of noise.
They’d rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing she hated!
The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the family, young and old,
would sit down to a feast.
And they’d feast! And they’d feast!
And they’d FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on pudding, and rare roast beef,
With her irritable bowel,
the Grinch couldn’t eat these in the least!

And then they’d do something she liked least of all!
Every family member, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, and say, “You look so great!”
They’d all tell her she needed to get back to work,
Stop lazing around in her pajamas so late!
They’d talk! And they’d advise.
And they’d think they were so wise.
And the more the Grinch thought of the Christmas-Nice
The more the Grinch thought,
“I must stop this whole thing!
“Why for over five years I’ve put up with it now!
I must either deal with it or convince them somehow!”
…But HOW?”
Then she got an idea!
An awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful awful idea!

“I know just what to do!”
The Grinch laughed in her throat.
And she made a quick run to the closet
for her lounging coat.
And she chuckled, and clucked,
“What a great Grinchy trick!
“With this robe and my slippers,
I’ll look just like I’m sick!”
“All I need is a sniffle, a cough, maybe a cane…”
The Grinch looked around.
But since canes are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch…?
No! The Grinch simply said,
“If I can’t find a cane, I’ll just look sick instead!”
So she got out her pale makeup
and tried not to use anything pink,
She made sure the circles under her eyes,
were not covered up, but seen.

Then she threw on some sweats
And put her hair up in a twist
It didn’t look fancy,
It looked like you do when you’re sick.
Then the Grinch said, “I’m ready”
They can start to arrive,
I’ll be nice to everyone,
But I’m not going to lie.”
The family members arrived
and saw the Grinch arrive at the door.
“What’s happened to her?” They whispered and more.
The Grinch said, “Hello, come in, how are you?”
And when they asked her she just said, “Today’s not a good day.
It may be Christmas but I still feel a droop.”

Then little Cindy-Lou arrived
dragging her noisy toy behind her.
This was more than the Grinch could take!
She couldn’t allow that noise to batter.
The Grinch reached out and took the toy,
“let me have that, hon..”
She stared up at the Grinch as asked,
“Auntie, why are you taking away my toy? Why?”

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
She thought up a lie, and she thought it up quick!
“Why, my sweet little tot,” the Grinch lied,
“There’s a better one under the tree,
we have even more to surprise!
“So I’m taking this one away for now, my dear.
“I’ll put it away for now, and later, bring it back here.”
And her fib fooled the child. Then she patted her head
And sent her to the tree to open up a quiet puzzle instead.

The Grinch thought she had it all figured out,
At least people understood. There was no more doubt.
She expected to hear people talking about her,
In the kitchen they surely must all be worrying about.
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch,
“That I simply must hear!”
So she paused. And the Grinch put a hand to her ear.
And she did hear a sound rising through the wall,
It was joy and fun, at first it wasn’t concern at all!
The sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

She stared into the kitchen,
The Grinch popped her eyes!
Then she shook!
What she saw was a shocking surprise!
Cindy Lou sat in her mom’s lap and said,
“What’s wrong with Auntie?”
Her mom told her quietly, “She’s a very special lady.
When we visit her, she often tries to look nice,
But she still hurts inside,
She just acts like she’s fine.”
“I love Auntie, I don’t want her to hurt,” said Cindy Lou.
“I know,” said her mom, “We love her too.”

Family members were still having a great time,
They weren’t worried about her,
or even of her appearance surprised.
She hadn’t made them concerned,
because they already were,
She just didn’t know
that they didn’t know what to say to her.
And the Grinch, with her Grinch-feet ice-cold on the floor,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could I be adored?
I look so awful, I’m in such a bad mood.
I’ve been such a fake hostess, I even took away a gift from sweet
Cindy Lou!”

“I thought no one understood,
but I never thought to ask.
I listened to what they said,
and didn’t try to explain.
I assumed they should just know how I felt
I let them pull my chain.”
And she puzzled three hours,
`till her puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something
she hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” she thought,
“doesn’t come from feeling great.
Maybe Christmas…perhaps….
“comes from communicating straight!
Maybe Christmas comes from accepting the love
Of those all around us, friends, and God from above.”

And what happened then…?
Well…in some parts they say
That the Grinch’s small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute her heart didn’t feel quite so slow,
She whizzed through the house, with a spirit that was no longer low.
The body still had aches, the pain didn’t go away.
But the rest of the afternoon, her spirit felt at play.

Lisa Copen lives with rheumatoid arthritis is the founder of Rest Ministries, a Christian organization that serves the chronically ill. She had a little help from Dr. Seuss on this! Visit her web site at www.restministries.org and sign up for web site updates!

Why Won’t My Doctor Treat Me?

What do you suggest to a patient who likely has a chronic illness but whose doctor refuses to treat her or refer her to a specialist? I have a friend whose doctor insists on treating her with antibiotics to treat the symptoms, but not the illness. It has been going on for over a year. She is suffering and getting depressed. —name withheld

Does your friend have an HMO that requires her primary physician to be a “gate keeper?” In this model, doctors must cut costs by limiting referrals. It may be necessary to contact the HMO administration to demand a second opinion. Read the fine print in the insurance packet before calling. Alternatively, she may request a new primary physician. These two processes will take time.

Unfortunately, your friend may need to spend money out of her own pocket to see the physician of her choice. Try to stick with a doctor covered by her plan because that doctor may end up being her advocate with the insurer. Explain the situation up front.

Many illnesses are difficult to diagnose. One example is a disease called “interstitial cystitis.” Doctors give antibiotics because they mistakenly think the symptoms of pain and frequent urination are due to infection. Another example is acid reflux. Doctors give antibiotics for a sore throat or cough that is not caused by strep bacteria, but by acid bubbling up from the stomach. If you “google” symptoms, you may find some clues.

I am embarrassed by doctors who give patients the brush off and HMOs that gouge. Your friend is blessed to have your concern.

Amy Fogelstrom Chai, MD, MS, is an Internal Medicine specialist with additional training in the area of medical research methods. Her experiences as a patient helped to redirect her priorities to home life and Christian ministry.

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