Special Interview with Renee Bondi

Reprinted from HopeKeepers Magazine 2004

I was having a ball with wedding plans; my music program was a huge success; I was blessed to have had the opportunity to travel and see the world; I had friends and family to love. My life was full, and I saw nothing but blue skies above,” she writes in her book The Last Dance But Not the Last Song. But in May 1988, after a romantic weekend as a prom chaperone with her fiancé, her life would take a dramatic dive—literally.

She went to bed filled with innocent anticipation of life ahead, but awoke “diving” off the foot of her bed. She simply remembers being in mid- air and thinking, “Huh?” and then hitting the floor. Filled with searing pain in her neck and shoulders, she thought, “I’ve really done it now. . . I’ve got a real kink in my neck.”

Later at ICU, however, the doctor would tell her, “You’ll never walk again. . .” and he would be right. That night, Renée became a quadriplegic, having no feeling below the top of her chest. He also told her, however, “You’ll never be able to sing. . .” —and he would be wrong. He didn’t know Renée, her fierce determination and passionate spunk; nor did he understand her faith that would propel her forward through any challenges she would face. Today, Renée has sold over 100,000 albums and she travels throughout the United States singing and speaking for Christian conferences, church events, and youth rallies. But the closest thing to her heart right now is simply being a wife and a mother, miracles that she acknowledge astonish her daily.

I arrived at the church to meet with Renée a bit frazzled, as my directions were confusing. I had also read Renée’s book and I was experiencing a sense of nerves at meeting this inspiring woman. I no longer wanted to sit and just interview her; I wanted to have a relaxing cup of coffee and chat about how she had encouraged me through her honest and raw written words. I started out my conversation with her laughingly sharing how much I related with her frustration of not being able to wear cute, feminine shoes. It’s those little things that make one feel an instant bond.

Despite our surroundings of being in a cubby-hole behind the stage where she would perform in a few minutes when she spoke it was Holy Ground where I would sit with her. Renée’s deep faith and daily surrender were immediately evident.

HK: Many people find losing more abilities the hardest part of living with a chronic condition. How do you get through tough moments?

RB: I’ve often wondered what would it be like if I had something like MS where I wouldn’t really know where I’m going to be in a year. One may wake up tomorrow with some paralysis or dysfunction. At the beginning we felt that way, but after fifteen years, I know what I have is pretty much what I have. I know what tomorrow is going to bring. I don’t have the fear that you may, unless I don’t take care of myself. What has helped me over the years is knowing that with God I can handle anything.

I didn’t have that confidence when I was young, but now I know that I can get through anything–including being confined to the wheelchair– because tomorrow is another day and it could be better. I don’t want to sound like a Pollyanna at all, but I know I’m not going to stay this way forever. I can even have this outlook with the worst case scenario: let’s say I get a pressure wound that gets horrible and infected and I get a staph infection and die. . . Still, it’s not horrible. I will go to Heaven where I get to dance again and run and play and be able to use my body. What most people would call the very worst scenario isn’t bad.

HK: I think that describes the “joy of the Lord is my strength” because a lot of people would say tomorrow could be worse.

RB: And it could be, but you’re not doing yourself any favors.

HK: You’ve had some time where you’ve been bedridden for months. What kinds of things get you through these lonely times?

RB: I think what you can do when you’re having a bad day, rather than being depressed about it, is to go ask yourself, “What can I do to make this better? Am I taking care of myself? Do I have the right medical care and attendant care? Have I made good amends with my family? Do I have a relationship with family members or are they estranged? What changes can I make myself?” Rather than dwell and woe about my life, I need to really ask myself, “What can I do?”

HK: You’ve found a certain peace by having a ministry from your experience. How would you encourage someone who is in deep pain, but still waiting for God to reveal His purpose?

RB: I think it’s really important to know that God does not waste our suffering or pain. I had been through junk, pain and suffering, but others wanted to know, “How do you smile in that wheelchair?” It allowed me to share and question, “How do I?” I was able to realize that God was using everything I had been through for a larger purpose. So I would encourage people to help others in their pain because (a) it helps you get out of your own and put your focus on somebody else; and (b) it gives you purpose to live with the pain.

HK: What’s been the most surprising thing about being a mom with disability?

RB: How quickly my son adapted to my disability. He was only about 12 or 18 months old. . . He needed to get out of the crib and I would calmly say, “Daniel, I’m going to help you get out of the crib. Be very careful and listen to mommy. Grab around my head and hold on tight. Do not let go because mommy cannot catch you. Mommy cannot catch you.” And he’d grab around my neck and climb out and crawl into my lap. How he got out of that crib and onto my lap was amazing. I was so surprised.

HK: I think that’s very encouraging for us moms to hear. Many of us are even more nervous than an average mom about how our child will adapt to different abilities we have.

RB: Oh good. Yes! I was very nervous about the infant stage. Very nervous.

HK: If you could reshape how a church reaches out to the disabled community, what would be your vision or your dream?

RB: Some churches are doing an excellent job, but I think they are far and few between. I think that’s something we as disabled people should take on. We ask ourselves, “What do I have to offer to society?” and this is a huge job —to come to our pastor or parish advisory board and say, “What are we doing really to minister to the disabled? Can I help? Can I start a Bible study for the disabled? Can I make sure we have an accessible church? Where can we sit comfortably? Not all together, for example. If I’m disabled, how can I sit with my family?”

It’s absolutely important not to go in with a hardened heart and with an attitude of, “You owe it to me, you’re my church!” But rather offer yourself to be part of the solution. Don’t be an angry, bitter, demanding person.

I would love to see everything accessible, Bible studies that speak specifically to suffering, and signers for hearing impaired at all services, and my absolute dream would be to have a disabled person on staff. I love the fact that many churches have disability Sunday. Sunday school for children. That’s so hard and I understand why it doesn’t happen because it takes the right people. It’s a big job description—for people to have special education skills and also a relationship with Christ. But it’s a dream.

HK: What dreams do you have for your ministry and how God will continue to work in you and your family’s life?

RB: When I was laying in the ICU, I never dreamed I’d now be a wife and a mom—well. . .yes, I did, because I was in denial: “Of course I will be!” But later . . . after denial, I realized this is real, this is my “thing.” Now, to be a wife and a mom and be able to reach out to others is just more than I deserve.

I am in a very, very, very serious place of being a wife and a mom. If I was in my 20’s and single, I’d want to travel and be a recording artist and speak and minister to others on a grand scale, get a record deal, that sort of thing. But I just have no desire; it’s exhausting to parent this way, there is no doubt about it. I’ve had to get very creative at times—very creative. But more importantly, I want to be a good wife; It’s really about being a good wife in order to be a good mom. That’s the gift we’re going to give our son—mom and dad being okay.

This year I was in bed for seven months on my stomach 24 hours a day, seven days a week, while a pressure wound healed; after that I finally got back up in the chair and had other health problems. It was very taxing on our marriage, very difficult. But we finally survived it. We really started praying for joy. We wanted to be joyful. We were whining and cranky. It was very ugly and so we prayed for God to return our joy.

This year Mike and I went through what everyone expected us to go through fifteen years ago, like when everyone was saying, “What is Mike doing marrying a quadriplegic. Does he realize what he’s giving up?” He realized it this year. But now, we’re much, much better.

Again, I had to step back and look at it without being emotional and ask, “What can I do to help the situation?” I started meditating on Philippians 4:8, “Whatever is true…” and so while I was stuck in bed I’d go through that verse. Okay, what is true? God loves me. What is true? I’m a quadriplegic and I need to find a way to be joyful. What is noble? Mike being married to me. What is pure? Daniel’s smile. What is lovely? I can see the sky outside.

Once I started meditating on this my attitude and heart started to change and I became someone my husband wanted to be around. Mike said, “Okay, that’s the woman I married. She left for awhile, but she’s back now.”

I taped Scriptures on 3 x 5 cards and put them by my bed, and I’d say them over and over, sometimes putting melodies to them. It really helped pass the day in a good way. I also watched every romantic comedy on video, but I got to where I needed more. I called Joni Eareckson Tada and said, “What can I do? I’ve prayed. I need some new ideas! I’m going down for the count!” She said that it was during these times that she began memorizing the second, third and fourth verses of hymns.

Sometimes it’s hard to pray. I remember soon after the accident when I was in the hospital and a chaplain came to pray with me. She said, “Let’s pray,” and I said, “I don’t feel like it. . .” She told me to breath in and say “Jesus.” Then slowly breath out and say “Mercy. . .” “Jesus. . . Mercy. . .” and soon my heart began to soften.

HK: Thanks so much for sharing with us, Renée. I know you will encourage many.

Visit Renee Bondi’s web site for more information on her ministry, her speaking, music and more, including her latest book and CD (where you can hear samples.)

Lisa Copen had the honor of interviewing Renee Bondi.

Free Book Offer of “Heaven is Real”

Cecil Murphy is the author or co-author of hundreds of books including, “90 Minutes in Heaven” with Don Piper (which is available in the Rest Ministries
bookstore – it’s a great book!)

This week his assistant, Twila, shared that “Cec’s books are taking over my world! That’s good news for you.”

Her offer?

If you purchase a copy of Cec’s newest gift book, Words of Comfort for Times of Loss: Help and Hope When You’re Grieving for $11, I will give you a hardback copy of Heaven Is Real: Lessons on Earthly Joy–What Happened After 90 Minutes in Heaven (by Cecil an Don Piper, author of 90 Minutes in Heaven)

This is a $22 value free and good only while supplies last. (These will go fast!)

You may want to read these yourselves or donate them to your church library, a grief support group, a ministry, or give them to a friend. Contact Twila at twila@gottatellsomebody.com or 563-332-1622.

Audio Bible is Exceptional When You Don’t Feel Well

Can’t concentrate to read? Missing reading The Word?

Lisa saw the promotional video for The Bible Experience at a Christian retail show and was blown away! She bought it for herself for Christmas a couple of years ago. Now YOU can watch this video below, thanks to Zondervan and YouTube.

onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outbound/article/www.youtube.com');" title=" class="autohyperlink" target="_blank">www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_OCovT8Y68

It truly brings the story to life and features voices from Denzel Washington, Angela Bassett, Cuba Gooding Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Blair Underwood, Yolanda Adams, Shirley Ceasar, Faith Evans, Kirk Franklin, and more.

Do yourself a favor watch the video. It was originally priced at $50 so this is a great deal and you can listen to it in bed! Get it here.

Longing for Someone to Say… “I’m Proud of You”?

When was the last time you heard these words? A touching book that Lisa recently read and gives 5 stars is I’m Proud of You: My Friendship with Fred Rogers by reporter Tim Madigan.

And if you really do have a hankering to hear someone say those words, drop by Mister Roger’s web site where he will sing “I’m Proud of You” as well as other classics like “You are Special” and “I’m Still Myself Inside.”

And we thought this Presbyterian minister was ministering just to kids! Here at Rest Ministries we think most of us can relate with his messages.

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Is Your Loved One Depressed?

By Dena Dyer

Is your loved one or friend depressed? If you’re fairly certain they are, you are in the position to help. You’re also in the uncomfortable place of trying to help someone who may not be able to (or want to) help themselves.

I’m not a medical professional, and I’m not a counselor. But I am a layperson who has experienced both short-term and long-term depression, and I’ve been able (with God’s help) to live for several years now in a mostly-sustained place of good mental health. Life isn’t perfect, of course, and neither am I. Some days are better than others, and I’m not “cured,” but my life is so much better–and my faith is so much stronger–than it was just a few years ago.

Lately, I’ve been feeling that God is doing a new thing in my life and in my family, and I’m excited about what the future holds. It hasn’t always been that way.

One of the words I’m concentrating on this year is HOPE. I long for 2010 to be a year when I gave hope in tangible, practical, and inspiring ways. . . to many more people than ever before (if God wills, of course). He has been so good to me, and I want to share His grace and mercy as much as possible, in as many ways as He makes available.

So, to start the new year, here are a few do’s and don’ts from someone who has gone through the nightmare of depression and lived to tell about it:

DO:

• Listen without judgment. Despite what some Christians mistakenly believe, depression itself is not a sin. Many, many Bible characters and faithful Christians have suffered with depression. It’s a complex, often debilitating disease…and so many well-meaning believers (and even some successful Christian leaders) make depressed people feel as if it’s all spiritual and all their fault. PLEASE don’t make this mistake.
• Pray, pray, pray. Remember that prayer (and scripture) are our most powerful allies in the battle for mental health.
• Encourage your friend/loved one to get the right kind of help–whether it’s medical, emotional, spiritual and/or psychological assistance. Find a godly Christian counselor and physician who will work together, if that’s what healing takes. And be prepared to help with paperwork, transportation, and follow-up. Depressed people often feel “foggy” mentally, and may find it hard to keep track of their appointments.
• And keep after your friend/loved one until they do get some kind of relief. Remember, depression can lead to suicide.
• Provide rides, babysitting, housecleaning, cooking and/or groceries–anything that will help lighten their load. But ask them what would help first (don’t assume)!
• Try to think about what they’re going through and put yourself in their shoes.
• Give them space to cry, read, pray, be alone, and sleep more if they need to. That being said, look for signs that their depression isn’t lifting, and be prepared to intervene, if necessary.
• Try to get them out of the house, but don’t be offended if you can’t persuade them to go.

DON’T:

• Say “just snap out of it”, “why don’t you try —” or “I was depressed once and — worked for me” or similar things. Of course, give an answer if they ask for your opinion or advice. Just try to be careful with prescriptions and pronouncements.
• Try to cheer them up. Instead, ask them what they need, and be prepared to follow through.
• Don’t say “let me know what I can do to help” and leave it at that. Give them specific ideas and questions to answer.
• Avoid them, if at all possible. They might not be great company, but they need your presence, even if they can’t articulate it.
• Pressure them to get better too quickly. Coming back from depression can be a painstakingly slow process, with many ups and downs. If they’re making progress, try to be content. Know that they’re doing the hardest work they’ve ever done.
• Give up hope. Depression is a disease, but there are treatment options–and many, many people who have suffered from it have gone on to lead wonderful, fulfilling lives.

That’s it for now. Do you have do’s and don’ts to share? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

Dena Dyer is a mom and wife who lives with her two boys (three, if you count her husband!) in the beautiful Texas hill country. Her passions are my loving, laughing, and encouraging others–whether that’s through writing, speaking, or singing. She is a Christian author and speaker and if you’d like to receive a handout she gives when she speaks on depression, which includes Bible verses, books, and other helpful resources, send her an email at denadyer@austin.rr.com and she’ll send you one. Visit her web site here.

Carved Dove is Perfect Comfort Gift

This beautiful hand-carved dove is one of the newest items we have added to our Comfort Zone Bookstore.

It is the design of Kathy Myers Nave who has lived with multiple sclerosis.

The dove is similar to the much-loved Clinging Cross. One holds it in his or her hand; even for those who have hands that are somewhat deformed (like our director Lisa Copen) it still works with ease. It’s a wonderful way to feel God’s peace when praying or for those times one does not know when to pray.

It comes packaged in a sheer lavender gift bag and then that is in a clear plastic triangle-shaped box, ready to give as a gift. It would be a great item for those who are support group leaders, elders, parish nurses, etc. to have on hand. It would be a nice gift to leave behind with someone when doing a hospital visitation or home visit to someone who is chronically ill.

Artist Kathy Myers Nave has carved over 450 originals since she began her work in 1989. Her studio is located in the hills of southern Indiana, where her husband and three children don’t seem to mind the wood chips.

Find Health Answers at Your Fingertips

Have you ever gone to an internet search engine website like Google to look up information on health? A survey conducted by the Pew Internet and American Life Project, 61 percent of adults say they look online for health information. There’s a new term for this: e-patients.

E- patients take internet searches a step further. Not only do they occasionally conduct internet searches about health; but they become involved in online groups and organizations dedicated to a particular aspect of their health.

The upside? We can find people out there who know what we are going through. We can become involved in discussions with other patients like ourselves who have experienced the same side effects, the same pain, and most importantly, some of the same emotional aspects of dealing with an illness.

The downside? The internet makes everything accessible instantaneously. This may be feeding our fast paced society where our questions are never answered fast enough, especially in relation to our health. The internet is creating a shift in the health world, and this fast pace may be hard for hospitals and doctors to catch up with.

As far as generic information and moral support, the internet is a great tool. However, there is still a need to rely on traditional healthcare and to have a team of professionals around you. Not all patients are the same, and not all of our health related questions can be answered on Google.

Naomi Kingery, twenty year old brittle diabetic and author of The Sugar Free Series available at www.livetolovediabetes.com.

When It is Tempting to Quit We Need Jesus More Than Ever

I was using a saltshaker when I first noticed that the right side of my body was staging a mutiny. Inexplicably, my hand had forgotten how to move up and down. Other everyday activities became difficult. Brushing my teeth was a challenge. Playing piano was impossible and typing was clumsy. And then there were these weird, involuntary tremors on my right side. What was going on here?

After a batch of expensive tests, the doctors couldn’t — and still don’t — agree. While they are scratching their heads, the elders anointed me and prayed for my healing — twice — and I am trying everything in my power while the problem persists.

Like Paul, I have asked the Lord that this “thorn in my flesh” be taken from me. As He told Paul, He has answered me, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

Humph! Hardly the answer I want to hear!

Here is where the rubber meets the road for every leader and me:  Who is REALLY in control of my life, ministry, and gifts? And who is in charge of yours?

It is when we are are painfully and continually poked by thorns in the flesh that our determination to be obedient to God’s call is tested and displayed. When we have an uncooperative person on our ministry board tying every meeting into knots; when no one will watch the nursery; when we are criticized for bringing less-than-desirable people into the church; when our budget is stymied by the shortsighted; when we can’t get anything done because we’ve lost control, it is tempting — oh, so tempting! — to yank out the thorn and quit.

But if we are called to a task, we are called to it, regardless of who or what stands in the way — even if it is our own physical limitations.

“My grace is sufficient” — It’s a lovely piece of prose, but it’s meaning is so large that it is a slippery life preserver for the desperate.

However, here’s a handle I’ve found through my own storm:

A can-do attitude is a wonderful thing. But it also masks arrogance, especially when the battle we are fighting is a spiritual one and we are more proficient with our natural talents.

• Spiritual battles require much different weapons, leadership, attitudes, vision, talents, and gifts.
• Spiritual confrontation requires practice but you won’t get it if you are relying on your own natural talent.

When the Lord gives us as leaders a thorn in the flesh, He is reminding us that we are to develop spiritual weaponry skill by knowledge of and connection to Him. He’s made it a little easier for us to do this because we not only won’t rely on our unreliable selves, we no longer can.

In the midst of the hopeless, drowning feeling associated with loss, we have His promise: His grace — or Divine endorsement — will make up for our personal deficits.

And that’s a handle we can all hang on to no matter what our limitations may be.

Rebekah Montgomery, author/speaker/teacher, is a gifted, dynamic communicator. She is the author of more than five books and has penned 1,100 articles. She shares tough real-life topics and biblical application in a simple easy to grasp manner. To book Rebekah for your next event visit www.rebekahmontgomery.com. Rebekah is also the editor of Right to the Heart of Women and a publisher at Jubilant Press.© Rebekah Montgomery 2009.

The Will of God

As we begin our new year it can be tempting to wonder if God really understands that our bodies cannot keep up with our dreams of all we’d like to do – for Him, ourselves, our family, those we care about.

But He does know exactly how you are feeling today. . . and how you will feel tomorrow. He knows you lack energy, even on days you may have enthusiasm and you feel like the day was wasted. Remember that God never wastes anything. Your time and your experiences are all a part of His greater plan.

The Will of God

The will of God will never take you,
Where the grace of God cannot keep you,
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

Everything happens for a purpose. We may not see the wisdom of it all now, but trust and believe in God that everything is for the best.

~Author unknown

Lisa Copen submitted this devotional. She is the founder of Rest Ministries and live with rheumatoid arthritis.

Every Day Is Christmas

A friend recently sent me this and this year, more than any other, I can relate to it since I have been dependent on friends and strangers to help drive me around from place to place as I continue to recover from joint replacement surgery in my hand.

I hope it encourages you to continue to reach out to those in your life who are strangers or friends. While we may assume that the people around us are well taken as, emotionally provided for, and without needs, it is rarely the case and our helpfulness or even smile can make all the difference in their life.

Lisa Copen, Rest Ministries Director

__________________________________________________

Every Day is Christmas

Every day is Christmas when you have the kind of mind,
That stores up all the goodness and the sweetness it can find.
When you don’t need an occasion, to spread a bit of cheer,
But just keep on a-giving, of yourself throughout the year.

Every day is Christmas, with a gaily wrapped surprise,
When you’ve learned to see the friendship, in someone else’s eyes.
When you try a little harder, and complain a little less,
Holding fast to all the fervor of the faith that you possess.

Every day is Christmas, when you’ve found that you can be
More concerned with words like “you” and less with “I” and “me.”
When it’s fun to do a favor, and to lend a helping hand,
When being understood means less, than when you understand.

Every day is Christmas, with a beauty deeply cast,
When you find it doesn’t matter, if you’re first or if you’re last.
When you can face your conscience, and be glad of what you are,
Then every day is Christmas, with a stable and a star.

– Author Unknown

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