A Talk Over Tea – A Lord-Willing Attitude

A friend of mine is fond of saying, “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.”  This quaint little saying seems to be not only an outline of the recent turn of events in my life, but also words of wisdom.

How much I like a plan, a clear set of expectations, something solid that I can look forward to.  God, however, wants us to trust him, not our plans.  And that should be enough.  My struggle is often over letting go of searching “God’s will” (ie. my action plan approved by God) and rather just seeking God.  For what God desires is not to be my consultant of my business partner, but my friend.

Celebrating today and being content with what we have been given is not only a wise suggestion but a commandment from God.  “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?… Instead you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will we will live and do this or that’” (James 4: 14,15).

My great-grandmother used to add the words “Lord-willing” to the end of every plan she made.  She never said, “We’ll have a picnic” without adding the words “Lord-willing” to the end of the sentence.  What a wonderful, comforting perspective for life, for it assures us if it does not happen it is because it was not in God’s will!

Living just for today can be difficult when we have an illness, because we are put in the position of trying to predict what a medication may do to us, positively or negatively.  We must plan for our financial stability and we have concerns about who will care for our children or aging parents, if we are unable to assist.

Chronic illness is often degenerative, which can throw us into a lifetime of going through the grief cycle every time that we lose another ability.  Just as we must not look too far forward, however, we also must not dwell on the past.  This is why we are told “Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions’” (Ecc. 7:10).

God did not simply tell us not to worry about tomorrow and then let us be, however.  He promised his strength for all of the days of our life.  As the hymn says, “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow, because He lives, all fear is gone…”

Although we may feel as though our bones are growing weak and the affliction is overwhelming (Psalms 31:10), “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect” (2 Samuel 22:33).

Lastly, we must remember that God is always in control.  Everything we encounter in life has been “Father-filtered.”  “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other…”

Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future” (Ecc. 7:13,14).  When God is in control, we can surrender our plans and know that He has promised us his best for our lives.

Your friend on this journey,

Lisa Copen

Counting the Blessings Hidden in Illness

With the holidays nearing once again we are urged by everyone from Hallmark commercials to our local newspaper editor to take a moment to count our blessings. If you live with a chronic illness you may find that blessings are a bit more hidden in your life than they were previously.

Holidays past you may have easily sat around the table of relatives before the feast and play the “I’m Thankful For. . .” game. When it was your turn, without hesitation, you chose one of the many things you were grateful for to share: “I’m thankful for my job, my family, my financial security.” And–and, ah yes, there was that thing called “health.”

Now though, the ease of being able to list health on your thankful list has disappeared. And perhaps you are even struggling with some other things you’ve lost, in part, due to your loss of health. Maybe the lack of finances keeps you awake at night in addition to the physical pain. Or maybe it’s the empty side of the bed where your spouse once slept.

Can we still be thankful? Yes! In his book “You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective,” Richard Carlson (who was well known for his “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” book series before passing in 2006), writes, “Most of us experience fleeting moments of happiness but then let them pass us by without due notice. . . We do this because we are always looking to find happiness somewhere else.”

So, what are some things that we can thank God for, despite our illness? Friends who care, a roof over our heads, and that we have hope and faith. All of these are important. But what are some of the unusual things that someone with a chronic illness may really be thankful for that a healthy person may not give a second thought?

• A drive-thru of any kind: for prescriptions, coffee, food and banks
• Parking spots, especially close ones that don’t require us to pull out our placard
• Sugar-free desserts and the people who bring them on special occasions, remembering we can’t eat sugar
• Being able to watch an amazing sunset without walking five feet from the car
• Unexpected clear freeways when we were expecting rush hour traffic
• The grocery clerk that says, “Can I help you to you car with that?” even though you are only twenty-seven and look perfectly healthy
• Shopping carts that have four working wheels that all go the direction they ought
• The ability to sleep well on a hotel bed instead of sitting in the bathroom reading all night so as not to wake our roommates
• People that smile at us for no apparent reason
  UPS delivery men who don’t give it a second thought that we are still in our pajamas at two-thirty in the afternoon
• The smile of our child when we’ve done everything in our power to make sure she has a good time–and she actually does
• Being able to get both shampoo and conditioner out of the bottles and hold your arms up long enough to use them
• Bottles and jars that open easily and don’t require us to try three different jar openers
• Products that have the word, “automatic” or “self-cleaning”
• Car keys that turn easily so the ignition starts
• The ability to request a wheelchair at the airport
• Doctors who actually give you a light hug on your way out of the office say, “I wish I could do more.”

In her book, “Have a Little Faith!” author Sherri Connell reminds those who have their health to be grateful for their abilities. “When was the last time you took the time to thank God for being able to sleep six hours straight or for giving you the strength to wash your hair? Have you ever praised Him for being able to scrub your toilet or being able to refill your soap dispensers? . . . Have you ever been elated to be able to dust a few pieces of furniture or for making a simple meal? People who have disabilities count blessings others never even stop to think about!”

If counting your own blessings feels a little dry, then have some fun with it like I did above and put a spin on what you’re thankful for. Start a “Funny-Gratitudes-that-Affect-My-Attitude” journal and see how quickly you will be able to–not only have the longest list at the family gathering–but create some giggles as well as personal reflection among those you love.

Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from the book “Beyond Casseroles” by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to HopeNotes at Rest Ministries.

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Walk A Cross, America Coast to Coast for Miracles

Christian Newswire/ — Author, Poet and Illustrator, David K. Sumrell, is going to walk a Cross AMERICA. He is starting in Norfolk, Virginia, on March 1st, 2010, to the shores of California. He is doing this to bring attention to the world, the continuing Miracles he has been blessed with, through his faith and bring the glory to God. On October 30th, 2009, David was told he has a new tumor growing in his lung and they wanted to take part of his lung out in order to save his life. In 2004, David was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma throughout his organs; liver, lungs, brain and lymph system.

He was sent home from both Duke and VA Medical Centers in Durham, N.C., without any hope of survival. They would not even give him experimental Chemotherapy, because his condition was so advanced. The Doctors promised to keep him comfortable until he died.

At that time he looked up and thanked the Lord for being too sick to receive chemotherapy. He never asked the Lord to save his life; only that His will be done. He promised, IF given the opportunity, he would write three books in His honor. David fulfilled his promise to God and is alive today, with nods on his lungs and a melanoma tumor in his eye, almost 6 years later without any medicines.

Every Doctor involved in David’s care, have called his condition nothing less than a miracle, while many have broke down and cried. They all know and have stated no one has ever lived through what he has survived.

David realized when he wrote his third book, he had already had seven miracles in his life; however even though CBN and the 700 Club did his story after verifying all of his medical information, his story brought very little attention to the miracles still happening today, through faith.

For more information on David K. Sumrell or how he has lived by his faith ever since he can remember and the seven miracles he has had in his life, please visit the website . There will be updates added to my website the closer we get to March 1st.

With this latest diagnosis, he now feels it is time to go out and spread the word to the rest of the world, how true it is that the faith of a mustard seed can move mountains.

A Talk Over Tea with Lisa About Holiday Ups and Downs

Well, it’s that time of year when people start talking about whether Christmas sales are up or down, whether Wall Street is up or down, and even if they are feeling “up” or “down.” How are you? Up or down?

As the Christmas stories began to unfold on television this season, I am reminded of the many stories told to our children about the broken bodies that God uses. Whether it’s the lamb with a bad leg, or a donkey with big ears, God uses those of us who are far from perfect.

Even the secular stories explain how Santa was just boy who didn’t feel that he fit in, quite like Rudolph who felt different and ashamed until his weakness was recognized as a gift. You may not be aware that the story of Rudolph was written by a man, Bob May, who “made Rudolph up” to answer his four-year daughter’s question, “Daddy, why isn’t my mommy just like everybody else’s mommy?” as her mom was desperately ill with cancer.

As I venture in to my eigth year of motherhood in January, I can relate with the feelings of inadequacy that Mary must have had (surely Jesus’ teething was painful for her to watch), or even a little bit of the joy that God must possess when we do something that makes Him smile.

This is also a time of year where we are reminded to reflect on our journey and what areas of our life we may wish to change or improve upon. But instead of thinking it’s a journey you are about to “go on” think it as “going out.” Regardless of our illness, regardless of all the weaknesses, doubts or inexperience we may have, God tells us to “go out!”

Jeremiah 31:4 reminds us, “I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt . . again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful.” Hear that? Grab those tambourines for 2004. You never know when the Lord might tell you to go out and starting dancing!

We all feel that nagging feeling of, “But what if I fail?” I feel this every day, and the leap we are making to transform this newsletter into a magazine is scary indeed, but Malachi 4:2 says, “But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.”

We’ll receive some form of healing and be given that burst of energy and joy, either physically or maybe just spiritually, but it will be as if we are calves being released from a stall. If you’ve ever been to an amusement park on a major holiday, it may not be hard to imagine. Simply being a child of Christ promises us pasture, “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture,” (John 10:9).

In this New Year, it’s time to go out! Jesus commands it, especially since we understand first-hand just how important it is to be welcomed when you are hurting. Luke 14: 21-24, says, “. . .the owner of the house. . . ordered his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’ ‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’ Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full.’”

Go out. Invite them into your heart. Whether it’s sharing about Rest Ministries or loaning a sermon tape to a hurting friend who doesn’t know God, get out of the comfort zone. Jesus will provide those tambourines.

We don’t need to think about the ups and downs of the season. Istead, think of going out!

God Bless you,

Lisa Copen
Rest Ministries Founder

Want to Dance?

The thirteen-year-old boy watched his fellow classmates dance to the lively music. Part of him wanted to be out there with them. Another part just wanted to stand by the wall. He began to wonder why he had even come to the after-school dance.

Before he had a chance to figure out why he was there, a girl from one of his classes walked up to him and asked him the question he didn’t expect to hear, “Want to dance?”

The boy hesitated a moment and then answered, “No, thank you.” He never danced that day. He just stood by the wall, leaning on his crutches and wondering how a crippled kid could dance.

Twenty years later, the kid on crutches is now a man in a wheelchair. I’m not sure what happened to the girl who asked me to dance. She may not even remember asking the question, but I remember.

I look back on that day and regret that I didn’t dance. Yes, I was on crutches, but she didn’t seem to mind. So, why did I?

I’m more crippled than I was twenty years ago. Legs that once were merely weak are now lifeless. Arms that once maneuvered crutches now hang limp. I may be physically weaker, but I’ve learned how to dance.

God has taken my sorrow. He has taken my pain. He has taken my long nights when all seemed hopeless. He has taken my mourning and turned it into dancing. My body may sit motionless, but my spirit dances to the music God has placed in my heart.

God desires to do the same for you. He yearns to take your sorrow and turn it into joy. God asks you the same question a thirteen-year-old girl asked me, “Want to dance?”

Jason Mitchener was born with a rare neuromuscular disease that now confines him to an electric wheelchair and requires him to use a ventilator to breathe. He lives in Phoenix, AZ is the author of Just Passing Through: Notes from a Fellow Traveler. Visit his web site at: http://www.JasonMitchener.com

What is Ministry?

Ministry Is….

Listening, when you’d rather fix the problem.
Searching for the joy, when it’s easier to say “it’s not fair.”
Helping, when you feel like you’re the one that needs the help.
Telling God, “use me,” when you’d rather ask to be rescued.
Encouraging, even when you don’t understand God’s reasoning.
Hugging when it feels awkward.
Saying, “let’s pray right now,” instead of “I’ll pray for you.”
Serving, when you doubt you have anything left to give.
Comforting, by being the flicker of light in others’ dark caverns.

“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
[author unknown]

Interview with Linda Newton on Finding Blessings

Linda Newton will be joining us Nov. 13th to share about her new book!

Last year  I read this Christian counselor’s book 12 Ways to Turn Your Pain into Praise: Biblical Steps to Wholeness in Christ and was very blessed by it. She has written for HopeKeepers Magazine and was a guest on my radio podcast, Hope Endures. I know she has blessed many of you with that interview.

If you have not had the opportunity to hear our interview yet, I thought you may be interested before reading our interview on Friday. She talks about how we can find the blessings even in the pain.

7 Secrets to Happiness When You Live with Illness

As I sit here working on this article my 4-year-old son hangs out with me with a little cold and fever. I keep telling him he needs some medicine but all he has said since he got out of bed is “I’m better now. I’m all better.” How much does our attitude effect how well we deal with our illness and our level of happiness?

Everyone copes with challenges in their lives in different ways. For those who are diagnosed with a chronic illness they may put on a happy face and literally decide they will use this as a dare to succeed, constantly trying to overcome any limitations it sets forth. Others will drive home from the doctor’s office wondering how much longer they will be able to drive because of the pain.

They’ll flop down on the couch and rarely roam from it for years. What is it that makes some people thrive despite their chronic illness and others simply survive and use it as an excuse for everything that goes wrong?

So what do happy chronically ill people have in common?

Here are a few things I’ve discovered:

[1] They maintain hope. We’ve found through research that people who have hope actually recover from surgery faster than those who have less hope. Hope is fundamental and a basic step in finding contentment despite our situation. The 2006 theme of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week was “My illness is invisible but my hope shines through.” This is an attitude we should all have.

[2] They persevere. It’s no secret that living with chronic pain is. . .painful! Physically, emotionally, and spiritually it can zap our strength and spirit. Typically, our health is one of the main foundations we count on in order to have a change to conquer those dreams. Chronically ill people who are happy have learned how to continue to aim high for their dreams, or to reevaluate their dreams and create new ones. Sometimes the new goals are even more taxing that the original ones, but passion pushes them forward.

[3] They are good advocates when it comes to their health. Paul J. Donoghue and Mary E. Siegel, authors of “Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired,” write “Getting this help in a consistently satisfying manner is as essential as it is challenging. You will need perseverance, courage and skill. You will need to understand your needs and be committed to getting them” (p. 160). People who feel like they are part of the decision making process regarding their care and treatment, and who actively seek out doctors who partner with them, are more happy than those who feel out of control. For example, it’s important to have a medical team that will understand your desire to have children, and will give you the best treatment if you decide to go forward with this, rather than punish you by giving you poor care.

[4] They don’t play the victim role. They say “Why not me?” rather than “Why me?” To form this attitude can take time if it doesn’t come naturally. But by being involved with organizations that serve people who are ill, have cancer, or who have left abusive homes–whatever your passions are–you will begin to understand that this world is not perfect. When things are going right in their lives, they recognize it as a blessing, not a right.

[5] They aren’t overly sensitive and they don’t take the comments of others too personally. If one has a strong foundation of faith this can make everything easier because one appreciates her value and worth as a person. She doesn’t find her worth in her physical strength. She learns what she is answerable for (like an attitude) and not as responsible for (like an infection that keeps returning). This can help keep away unnecessary guilt for things out of her control.

[6] They communicate well. Being able to talk to others and explain your feelings, learning to listen effectively, and watching one’s words carefully, can prevent a lot of problems. Hurt feelings, misunderstandings and arguments can impact your entire life and your body’s abilities to cope with an illness. One must learn to control bitterness and focus on healthy relationships. Happy people know when to talk and how much to share about their personal lives. They learn how to speak with grace.

[7] They genuinely care about other people. No one wants to get a chronic illness to receive that “education in life” but people who are happy allow their experiences to be a gift of knowledge. They can share struggles and successes with others. They are able to use their experiences as a way to help a friend or become a mentor. To truly find happiness, we must look outside of ourselves and reach out to other people.

Author J.K. Rowling once said, “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” This is such an applicable quote for those who live with chronic pain every day.

Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from “Beyond Casseroles” by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness