Carved Dove is Perfect Comfort Gift

This beautiful hand-carved dove is one of the newest items we have added to our Comfort Zone Bookstore.

It is the design of Kathy Myers Nave who has lived with multiple sclerosis.

The dove is similar to the much-loved Clinging Cross. One holds it in his or her hand; even for those who have hands that are somewhat deformed (like our director Lisa Copen) it still works with ease. It’s a wonderful way to feel God’s peace when praying or for those times one does not know when to pray.

It comes packaged in a sheer lavender gift bag and then that is in a clear plastic triangle-shaped box, ready to give as a gift. It would be a great item for those who are support group leaders, elders, parish nurses, etc. to have on hand. It would be a nice gift to leave behind with someone when doing a hospital visitation or home visit to someone who is chronically ill.

Artist Kathy Myers Nave has carved over 450 originals since she began her work in 1989. Her studio is located in the hills of southern Indiana, where her husband and three children don’t seem to mind the wood chips.

Tell Us About Your HopeKeepers Group

We love to hear about your HopeKeepers Groups!

People who are looking to start a group or who are also leading groups are always interested and encouraged by what other groups are doing. And many of them have not led a small group before, or perhaps it’s been a long time.

Writing up a flyer or calling the newspaper can seem a bit intimidating, so we encourage you to add us to your mailing list or invite us to your groups.

• Send us brochures,  inserts, announcements about your group that we can post to share with others.
• Send us articles about your group. What are you doing? How have you grown? What special things do peole do for one another?
• Is HopeKeepers listed on your church website?
  Does your church have a website? Let us know so we can post it! And us your church to link back to us!
• Send us book/Bible study suggestions that have worked well with your group for us to share with other HopeKeepers leaders.

When It is Tempting to Quit We Need Jesus More Than Ever

I was using a saltshaker when I first noticed that the right side of my body was staging a mutiny. Inexplicably, my hand had forgotten how to move up and down. Other everyday activities became difficult. Brushing my teeth was a challenge. Playing piano was impossible and typing was clumsy. And then there were these weird, involuntary tremors on my right side. What was going on here?

After a batch of expensive tests, the doctors couldn’t — and still don’t — agree. While they are scratching their heads, the elders anointed me and prayed for my healing — twice — and I am trying everything in my power while the problem persists.

Like Paul, I have asked the Lord that this “thorn in my flesh” be taken from me. As He told Paul, He has answered me, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

Humph! Hardly the answer I want to hear!

Here is where the rubber meets the road for every leader and me:  Who is REALLY in control of my life, ministry, and gifts? And who is in charge of yours?

It is when we are are painfully and continually poked by thorns in the flesh that our determination to be obedient to God’s call is tested and displayed. When we have an uncooperative person on our ministry board tying every meeting into knots; when no one will watch the nursery; when we are criticized for bringing less-than-desirable people into the church; when our budget is stymied by the shortsighted; when we can’t get anything done because we’ve lost control, it is tempting — oh, so tempting! — to yank out the thorn and quit.

But if we are called to a task, we are called to it, regardless of who or what stands in the way — even if it is our own physical limitations.

“My grace is sufficient” — It’s a lovely piece of prose, but it’s meaning is so large that it is a slippery life preserver for the desperate.

However, here’s a handle I’ve found through my own storm:

A can-do attitude is a wonderful thing. But it also masks arrogance, especially when the battle we are fighting is a spiritual one and we are more proficient with our natural talents.

• Spiritual battles require much different weapons, leadership, attitudes, vision, talents, and gifts.
• Spiritual confrontation requires practice but you won’t get it if you are relying on your own natural talent.

When the Lord gives us as leaders a thorn in the flesh, He is reminding us that we are to develop spiritual weaponry skill by knowledge of and connection to Him. He’s made it a little easier for us to do this because we not only won’t rely on our unreliable selves, we no longer can.

In the midst of the hopeless, drowning feeling associated with loss, we have His promise: His grace — or Divine endorsement — will make up for our personal deficits.

And that’s a handle we can all hang on to no matter what our limitations may be.

Rebekah Montgomery, author/speaker/teacher, is a gifted, dynamic communicator. She is the author of more than five books and has penned 1,100 articles. She shares tough real-life topics and biblical application in a simple easy to grasp manner. To book Rebekah for your next event visit www.rebekahmontgomery.com. Rebekah is also the editor of Right to the Heart of Women and a publisher at Jubilant Press.© Rebekah Montgomery 2009.

Medication Risks & Fears – Where Do We Put Our Hope?

I took my first shot of Humera Monday. I’ve been off of it since August 2008. It’s been a long wait as I went off of it due to a simple cold.  [It lowers my immune system so much, if I continue to take it while ill, I get very sick.]

The cold, however, was followed by cellulitis and edema in my leg, which led to an abscessed ankle wound, a staph infection, and then in November 2008, the flesh eating bacteria.

My rheumatologist “cleared to me” to go back on Humera last week, but a pin-drop size of scab was weeping on my hand wound, where I recently had four joints/knuckles replaced, and that made me nervous.

Before I had the flesh eating bacteria last year, I had known of the risks of infection on an intellectual level in taking these medications. But I did not experience the emotional level of fear of an out-of-control infection. The infection did not get into my open wound, but rather I likely touched something that had the bacteria on it, wiped my eye or nose, and the bacteria headed straight for my “weakest link”–a hole on my ankle where they had punctured it to rid it of the staph infection.

When I asked the doctor who treated my ankle wound how long it would take for a “healthy person” to recover (so I could double that time frame for myself) he said “Healthy people do not get this. And you are lucky you lived. If you have been diabetic, we would not have been able to stop the infection.”

For weeks after my 7-day hospital stay last year, I did not fully allow myself to think about what might have been. When I came home from the hospital and was finally able to look up the web site of the what is commonly known as the flesh eating bacteria,  necrotizing fasciitis: The National Necrotizing Fasciitis Foundation. Thankfully there was not internet access at the hospital or I would have been much more worried!

The front page of the foundation’s web site was full of stories. . . and a list of memorials. I read a couple of stories and quickly clicked away. I have not been back.

Earlier this year I heard Dr. Oz on Oprah say that 75 percent of people who are infected with this rare bacteria don’t survive to tell their stories.

I am extremely blessed to still be alive and to still have my foot. God worked it out so the cellulitis, a cold, a staph infection, etc. prevented me from being on this immuno-suppressant drug when I actually came into contact with the flesh eating bacteria.

I will never fully know how God placed certain events and even inconveniences in my path so that I would still be alive today. It sounds dramatic –but I continue to hear stories of adults, both young and, who did not make it from this kind of infection.

So, my rheumatologist told me three weeks ago I could go back on Humera. It took a week for the pharmacy to get it and then it sat in my refrigerator for a week until my wound healed and closed completely. The day I had planned to take it, my general practitioner physician called and said I was now eligible for the swine flu vaccination. So I went and got that instead and did not take the Humera that day.

I waited a few days… nervous… about it “it all.” My wound still was not completely healed from the joint replacements. This day that I had looked forward to for months was finally here.  It’s a good thing, because, now that I have begun taking it, hopefully in January I can decrease the prednisone, lose more weight, and slow down the progression of my cataracts. (I’m having cataract surgery in the new year.)

Going back on my medication has many benefits. Yet when I told my mom this weekend I had not yet taken it, my voice quivered. I’m simply. . . scared.

As with any illness the risk of not taking the medication is high. My hand, for example, was very deformed in 2008, but it became even more “diseased” in 2009, according to the surgeon. Part of the reason was that I have been off of my main medication over a year while fighting one infection or cough after another.

But the risks of taking the drugs are high too. Every doctor and surgeon dislikes hearing that I am on prednisone. I heal slowly. Infections are sometimes hidden due to the steroids and only discovered when I have my lab work done.

My point here is not to encourage anyone to take a particular medication. I was on Enbrel for many years and switched to Humera in 2008. If you have a chronic illness, you know that there are many factors for why you and your medical team choose the medications to take that you do. You may also believe in using alternative treatments and want to share with me how there are fewer risks involved in them than there are in the pharmaceuticals.  Regardless of what to treatment route you or I take, there is always risk involved and that is my hope in sharing this with you.

In this world of insecurities, we learn nothing is guaranteed. And so I cling to the fact that I don’t have to depend on the world, but rather on The Rock.

Medications, surgeries, therapies, etc. may all be necessary, but they are still shifting sands. One vote from congress and we may no longer be eligible for the medication that keeps us functioning. The contamination at a factory that produces one of our medications can make it possible to get for two years (this happened to me if years ago).

Matthew 7:24-27 says,

‘Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

There is always risk. But the fortunately there is also hope.

The rain will come down, the winds will bloat, and sometimes the will come close to destroying us. But we always have the choice to accept Christ as our one true hope that we can always put our faith in.

So, I’ve taken it. And now I pray. And use a lot of hand sanitizer. And then throw those hands up in surrender. Thy will be done.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries. She has lived with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia since 1993 and makes her home in San Diego with her husband and six-year-old son. She is the author of “Why Can’t I Make People Understand: Discovering the Validation Those with Chronic Illness Seek and Why.”

View The Whole Shebang! 64-Page HopeKeepers Magazine

Merry Christmas! If you haven’t yet had a chance to check out our current issue of HopeKeepers magazine, now is the time.  Our December issue is completely free and available to read online in its digital format, or you can out up to 15 pages at one sitting.

Please help us spread the word by posting this to your Twitter, Facebook, etc. We would love for others to know about HopeKeepers magazine!

Special Scriptures for Volunteers

Special thanks to the many volunteers who keep Rest Ministries going each day.

“This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you.”
2 Corinthians 9:12-14

Reflections on How People Respond to Visual “Pain” Experiences

It had been many weeks since I have been to church. My rheumatoid arthritis had been flaring for months now. I had been off of my main medication since August of 2008 due to infections and then pending surgery.

While my husband and son left on Sunday mornings I would attempt to log on to the church’s web site to watch the broadcast. Some days it worked. Some days it did not.

But a couple of weeks ago, after I had had joint replacement surgery on my left hand, my family decided to go on a Saturday night service when my body would be less sore. Any outing would be nice and I was eager to the back and receive some refreshment from the Lord.

We got there a few minutes early and I went into the bookstore and wandered around. I got a few odd looks from curious people who quickly turned away. I smiled back and people nervously may meet my gaze enough to be polite.

While my husband went to check my son into Sunday school, I sat down outside. About six men who were ushers all stood within a few feet with their microphones in their ears, laughing about doing push ups. They glanced over me a few times, obviously wondering if they should talk to me or not. I smiled, as if to invite conversation, but then they turned away back into their safe huddle.

Many people walked by and did not even look at me. I’m used to that as I am not some beauty, but still, some people have said my splint resembles something from Edward Scissorhands. A few people glanced over at the contraption on my hand but never smiled or looked up at my face.

My husband and I joined my mother in the church and sat down. During introductions after worship one woman in front of us leaned over and said something like “Boy, that looks like it hurts.” I smiled and said thanks and explained I had gotten new joints.

The speaker was Lieutenant General William Boykin (Exceptional! You can listen here.)

It was inspiring, and exciting to listen to. At the end of his message “Who Should I Send?” he had everyone close their eyes and people who wanted to accept Christ into their hearts were to raise their hand. We all said the prayer of acceptance of Jesus into our lives together.

As the service ended I grabbed my pillow that I had brought to rest my arm on and stood up. My husband was the first of us to leaves the pew and was nudged forward before I could get out of it myself. People streaming out of the church resembled a southern California freeway and I was protecting my hand too much to risk merging into the oncoming traffic.

I yelled to husband to go ahead and go get Josh because I couldn’t “get out.” I waited about 60 seconds to merge into the aisle. Guarding my arm, people still brushed by me. Finally I got into the aisle and had to holler back to my mom, “I will meet you outside” as I was pushed along.

All I wanted to do was glance at the book table to see the price of the book (Never Surrender) and then to get outside, but people wanted to get to the table ahead of me and also to the long line for the speaker to sign the book. There was confusion over two lines: one to buy the book, the other to get the book signed. So at times I just stopped and tried to wait for the flow of traffic to go by in the opposite direction so that I could get out of the auditorium.

But then people beside me and behind me impatiently said “I need to get by you…” At one time I said with irritation, “I am just trying to get out too and can’t seem to get through.”

At last I got outside. As the evening went on however, I reflected back on my experience. There is the human side of me that will admit to that the thought occurred to me if I was a conference with Joni Eareckon Tada’s ministry, Joni and Friends, I would be the speaker, and people would be lining up for me to sign their books, as in the past. But tonight, I was just an inconvenience, someone in the way, someone who would remind people that life was imperfect and they too are vulnerable.

I thought about the fact was that the church had just had an amazing speaker who just invited people to accept Jesus into their lives to help them through the valleys and challenges that we will face in this lifetime on earth.

What if I was not a believer and my family brought me to church hoping that I would accept Jesus into my heart during this recovery of a joint replacement?

What if I was just so encouraged by the speaker that I had actually raised my hand to become a Christian .. and then I was unable to even get out into the aisle?

As I got outside I ran into a couple of friends. One said I had good “color” (I told her it was the makeup.) Another who said something like “So it’s a lot better now, right?” (I didn’t say it but I thought “Uh, no. I have about five more months of therapy and weeks still in this splint.”)

I have always tried to follow my belief that people are always more important than programs when it comes to my ministry. Programs are necessary and needed, but people are always more valuable. When I mentioned my mixed emotions to a friend she emailed me back, “When I had MS problems a few summers ago I went to church in a wheelchair just so I could go. Not ONE of the pastors (and they all saw me there) came up to us. Most people circled around us like I had the plague. Our small group attendees were warm and that’s all. Boy do I know how it feels to be walking and feeling like protecting myself from being knocked over.”

I’m not looking for a pity party. I’m not even looking for people to run over and have a conversation about the weird contraption on my hand. For example, it was obvious the men who were ushers felt somewhat uncomfortable, not knowing if they should “intrude” and ask me what had happened to my hand, or if they should ignore it.

My degree is in sociology and so I can’t help but look at the different experiences I am having in a variety of environments. And it saddens me when strangers at the pharmacy or the grocery store show more compassion than anyone in my church body. We have become a society that is so afraid of appearing “nosey” that we don’t even walk up to a sister in Christ and say, “Goodness, that must hurt! How are you doing?”

And at the same time, I hear about many of your experiences too and find that when people believe they can offer a “cure” they are eager to get involved and share their thoughts about your physical condition. Maybe when our condition looks too complicated they shy away since they don’t feel they have answer?

What is my reason for sharing this? I asked myself that before writing it, as I don’t want to have it seem as though I am complaining, or looking for sympathy, or expect Christians to be perfect. To be honest, I don’t even know exactly what I want. I debated about shring this experience with you because I love my church and I know it was a small individualized experience.

I think my true reason is that God has given me the gift of being able to have a ministry like Rest Ministries and has placed me in the position of trying to be an advocate for people with chronic illness or invisible illness.

I want you to know that I don’t have all the answers, but I am experiencing new things each day, both challenges and blessings.

And when you walk into your church and no one will look you in the eye, or they appear to be disinterested — even when you are visibly struggling, I want you to know that is nothing personal. I am experiencing the same thing. And I am also asking myself the same questions as you, like, “What am I doing wrong?” Or “Why do people not seem to care?”

I love the scripture Psalm 138:8: “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.”

We are in this together — both the journey of chronic illness that God has set us on, and also the steps towards gently educating our church leadership on the emotional and spiritual pain that accompanies the physical pain that many suffer from. But regardless of the weaknesses of man, God’s love will endure forever. We will never be abandoned.

Lisa Copen
Rest Ministries Director

Pondering a Helpful Heart

“While we may stand with meaning at the manger, many are moving by just looking at the lights. Are we willing to turn from our festivities and help someone out of the car? Are we willing to lend a hand of assistance and an invitation to open their hearts to Jesus as He says, ‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone opens the door I will come in,’?”

—Florence Littauer, Blow Away the Black Clouds

Tools for Caregivers or Families to Share the Caregiving

Asking for help is so hard! But if you live with a chronic illness there will come a time when you or you and your family needs to ask for help from others. When you or a loved one becomes ill, it impacts the entire family… but it can also feel like it “takes a village.”

These are some of the resources we have found. Some are to help caregivers organize care for an ill person (such as getting the neighborhood together on who is bringing meals what day). Others are to help a person who is ill communicate with others, such as posting your hospital visiting hours, updates on your condition, or simply sharing. Here are some suggestions on ways to organize the help.

Assist Guide Information Services Care Groups
Organize help to provide care for your loved one so that you can take time to care for yourself. Your AGIS Family CareGroup can be created in minutes. It’s
a free, simple way for friends and family to assist loved ones in need.

Care Pages
CarePages are free, easy-to-use Web pages, brought to you by Revolution Health, that help family and friends communicate when a loved one is receiving care. CarePages help Families create a virtual meeting place on the web, share news and photos as often as needed, receive emotional support during a time of need.

Care Place
CarePlace was founded to help people and their caregivers connect with one another, to share their experiences, concerns, passions, triumphs, and difficulties, and to support one another through trying times

Caring Bridge
A CaringBridge site is personal, private and available 24/7. It has free, personalized websites for anyone facing critical illness, going through cancer treatment or in recovery,helping ease the burden of keeping family and friends informed.

Lotsa Helping Hands
This is a simple, immediate way for friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors to assist loved ones in need. It’s an easy-to-use, private group calendar, specifically designed for organizing helpers, where everyone can pitch in with meals delivery, rides, and other tasks necessary for life to run smoothly during times of medical crisis, end-of-life caring, or family caregiver exhaustion. It’s also a place to keep these ‘circles of community’ informed with status updates, photo galleries, message boards, and more.

Share the Care
This is a detailed step-by-step model that shows you how to: (1) Create a unique caregiver “family” from friends, relatives, neighbors, coworkers and
acquaintances; (2) Answer the question all your concerned neighbors and friends have asked. “How can I help?”; (3) Hold a meeting that will turn a
group of ordinary people into a powerful caregiver team; and more! Based on the book, Share the Care.

Strength for Caring
An online resource and community for family caregivers. Strength for Caring helps family caregivers take care of their loved ones and themselves. Strength for Caring is part of The Caregiver Initiative, created by Johnson & Johnson Consumer Products Company, Division of Johnson & Johnson Consumer Companies, Inc.

Beyond Casseorles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend
This book is by Rest Ministries author, Lisa Copen, and it has 505 ways to help out someone who is going through a rough time, as well as their family.

How to Organize a Care Group
This is an article with step by step instructions on how Ellen’s Angels organized their care group. Based on the book Share The Care

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New Symbol Needed For Invisible Disabilities?

The international symbol for disabilities is nearly always the wheelchair, but only a small percentage of people with a disability use a wheelchair on a daily basis.

Laura Brydges hopes to change this and has a Facebook page set up to spread the word. (Must be Facebook member to see)

She explains. . .

What do you think of this symbol as an international symbol for hidden disabilities? It is meant to be used as an ID card carried by people with hidden disabilities. They can show it to identify themselves and their needs when they are having trouble coping or when they need help. The back of the card would be individualized, allowing them to state their specific disability, and what assistance they need.

She says. . .

Help this symbol be adopted as the international symbol for hidden disability. Many people with hidden disabilities need help, and with this symbol, they can identify themselves and ask for help when they are having trouble coping. Join as a fan.

Find out more at her Facebook Page and show your support if you are interested by becoming a fan.

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