Longing for Someone to Say… “I’m Proud of You”?

When was the last time you heard these words? A touching book that Lisa recently read and gives 5 stars is I’m Proud of You: My Friendship with Fred Rogers by reporter Tim Madigan.

And if you really do have a hankering to hear someone say those words, drop by Mister Roger’s web site where he will sing “I’m Proud of You” as well as other classics like “You are Special” and “I’m Still Myself Inside.”

And we thought this Presbyterian minister was ministering just to kids! Here at Rest Ministries we think most of us can relate with his messages.

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A “News Program” For Rhematoid Arthritis Patients

New Way RA™ is a new, “health-focused talk show all about rheumatoid arthritis (RA).” Hosted by Deborah Norville, and featuring Chronic Illness Coach (and one of our favorite Invisible Illness week guests!) Rosalind Joffe, it’s described on their website as. . .

A New Way RA™ is a first-of-its-kind talk show, providing expert support and advice for people living with rheumatoid arthritis (RA). Host Deborah Norville introduces an exciting panel of experts and people living with RA who share their experiences, challenges, insights, and triumphs. It’s a show that will inspire you to see and feel that there is now a new way to live with RA.

Tell us what you think!

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Find Health Answers at Your Fingertips

Have you ever gone to an internet search engine website like Google to look up information on health? A survey conducted by the Pew Internet and American Life Project, 61 percent of adults say they look online for health information. There’s a new term for this: e-patients.

E- patients take internet searches a step further. Not only do they occasionally conduct internet searches about health; but they become involved in online groups and organizations dedicated to a particular aspect of their health.

The upside? We can find people out there who know what we are going through. We can become involved in discussions with other patients like ourselves who have experienced the same side effects, the same pain, and most importantly, some of the same emotional aspects of dealing with an illness.

The downside? The internet makes everything accessible instantaneously. This may be feeding our fast paced society where our questions are never answered fast enough, especially in relation to our health. The internet is creating a shift in the health world, and this fast pace may be hard for hospitals and doctors to catch up with.

As far as generic information and moral support, the internet is a great tool. However, there is still a need to rely on traditional healthcare and to have a team of professionals around you. Not all patients are the same, and not all of our health related questions can be answered on Google.

Naomi Kingery, twenty year old brittle diabetic and author of The Sugar Free Series available at www.livetolovediabetes.com.

How Our Personalities Impact Us

“The trait of extroversion-introversion is a central dimension of human personality. Extroverts tend to be sociable, assertive, and interested in seeking out excitement. Introverts, in contrast, tend to be more reserved, less outgoing, but are typically marked by a richer inner world and a stimulating imagination.”

Thus begins an explanation of extroverts and introverts per the online encyclopedia, WIKIPEDIA. Most resources on the subject allow that many people are a combination of the two personality traits–or at least fluctuate between them at different stages of life. Yet, upon analysis, each of us can see how we lean especially toward one trait.

The introvert can be sociable and enjoy being with people–thereby appearing to be extroverted. But the introvert draws profound inner strength and joy from solitude, and the creative pursuits therein. He or she will become fragmented if space for solitude and reflection are not an integral part of life.

Conversely, the extrovert gets his or her inner strength and sustenance from people contact, and is frequently miserable during prolonged periods of solitude.

I’ve come to realize that understanding my personality is of prime importance in managing chronic illness and pain. As much as I love people and enjoy planning and attending pleasant social gatherings, my strength comes from quietness and solitude. Thus I am basically an introvert. I stoke up during my “alone” times, so that I have something to give during the enjoyable “people occasions”.

A quiet cup of tea and reciprocal conversation shared with a good friend will always leave me refreshed rather than depleted. And many larger social occasions inspire and uplift me even though I need the balance of solitude tucked in amongst people activities.

However there are some extroverts who, in relying on other people for their strength and sustenance, consistently suck the very life energy from whomever will listen to them. These are the extreme extroverts. Their conversation is mainly centered on sad news about themselves and their family members (often disguised as “prayer requests”), laced with dissertations on how they are feeling.

The extreme extrovert is the center of his or her own little universe. Extreme extroverts will talk constantly, and they’ve never learned how to really listen to others; in fact, they will bat their eyes back and forth when forced to be still–waiting impatiently to regain control of the conversation. Extreme extroverts are recognizable by the way they immediately wipe us out upon contact.

Even introverts who are perfectly healthy grow weary on a steady diet of social activities and people stuff. But for the introvert with illness and pain, the scale tips beyond mere weariness. If I do not have regular islands of solitude in my routine, I will wear out to the point of being desperately depleted.

Whereas some individuals might bounce back quickly after non-stop social occasions, I metaphorically turn to a jelly draped over a tree branch–like Salvador Dali’s clocks. Sometimes I’m exhausted for several days after a barrage of high energy social events, especially those where extreme extroverts dominate the conversations.

As sensitive and caring Christians we are too often misled into thinking we must continually accommodate everyone around us. But as obedient Christians we must be diligent stewards of our bodies and emotions, while acknowledging our limits.

In Psalm 90, Moses speaks of numbering our days and applying our hearts to wisdom. For the person whose health and body comfort are seriously compromised, wisdom amounts to planning very carefully how we will spend our time, and with whom!

Margaret Been is a born-again Christian, a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, poet, free lance writer, aficionado of many creative crafts–and lover of life in beautiful Wisconsin. Visit her web site Mining Treasures in Illness and Pain .

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Every Day Is Christmas

A friend recently sent me this and this year, more than any other, I can relate to it since I have been dependent on friends and strangers to help drive me around from place to place as I continue to recover from joint replacement surgery in my hand.

I hope it encourages you to continue to reach out to those in your life who are strangers or friends. While we may assume that the people around us are well taken as, emotionally provided for, and without needs, it is rarely the case and our helpfulness or even smile can make all the difference in their life.

Lisa Copen, Rest Ministries Director

__________________________________________________

Every Day is Christmas

Every day is Christmas when you have the kind of mind,
That stores up all the goodness and the sweetness it can find.
When you don’t need an occasion, to spread a bit of cheer,
But just keep on a-giving, of yourself throughout the year.

Every day is Christmas, with a gaily wrapped surprise,
When you’ve learned to see the friendship, in someone else’s eyes.
When you try a little harder, and complain a little less,
Holding fast to all the fervor of the faith that you possess.

Every day is Christmas, when you’ve found that you can be
More concerned with words like “you” and less with “I” and “me.”
When it’s fun to do a favor, and to lend a helping hand,
When being understood means less, than when you understand.

Every day is Christmas, with a beauty deeply cast,
When you find it doesn’t matter, if you’re first or if you’re last.
When you can face your conscience, and be glad of what you are,
Then every day is Christmas, with a stable and a star.

– Author Unknown

Billy Graham Ministries Talks W/ Steven Curtis Chapman

How do you get through the holidays when you feel like God– who was always been faithful– has let you down and allowed you to suffer a tragedy you never imagined?

This is what Janet Chismar asked Christian musician Steven Curtis Chapman these year to share  about at the web site for Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.

Maria, one of his adopted daughters from China, was tragically killed in a car accident on Chapman’s own property in 2008.  He shares the following (below), and we encourage you to visit the BGEA web site to watch the four-minute video where Chapman pours out his heart about what God has revealed to him through this tragedy as well as the questions he still asks himself, and the Lord, daily.

I asked Chapman if he had any words to comfort those who are grieving this Christmas season, or if he had insights on how we can best help the hurting.

“The one thing my wife and I have learned,” he responded, “is that the most encouraging words we heard were the antithesis of anything profound. It was when someone would say, ‘There are no words for this. There is nothing that any of us can say.’”

Chapman feels that such a seemingly simple statement somehow honors the depth of grief. “The worst thing people can do is to throw words at pain. It’s like dropping a few drops into the ocean to help fill it up. It’s so vast. Grief and loss are so unique – the shape of that in a person’s soul – is so unique that only God can meet it.”

Feeling Anxious? Quick Solution

Feel anxious about something like a holiday family get together coming up? Here is a quick tip that I’ve found works.

Escape to the bathroom for a few minutes and run warm water over your wrists for about 30 seconds. The warmth and mild pressure washing over your pulse points will help your heart slow down to the normal rate.

Now you can go back out there with a smile on your face and your heart beating at a normal pulse again.

Photos Can Give Pain Relief

Most of us would say it’s common sense that our loved one or pet will reduce the pain we are in. They can talk to us, give us compassion, distract us from pain and more. But a new study has some surprising results!

You don’t actually need the person there! In fact, a photo of your loved one may bring you more comfort than the person being there holding your hand!

Scientists at the University of California at Los Angeles applied pain (heat), to the forearms of 28 women who had all been in relationships for at least six months.

Each woman had the heat/pain applied while:

• holding the hand of their partner who was sitting behind a curtain;
• holding the hand of a stranger sitting behind a curtain;
• holding a squeeze ball; viewing a photo of their partner;
• viewing a photo of a male stranger;
• viewing the letter x, which was meant to be a neutral image

Then they then rated the level of pain they felt in each circumstance.

The study found that the most powerful pain reducer turned out to be the picture of their significant other. And that “images of their romantic partners lowered levels of pain even more than holding their hands. ”

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New Symbol Needed For Invisible Disabilities?

The international symbol for disabilities is nearly always the wheelchair, but only a small percentage of people with a disability use a wheelchair on a daily basis.

Laura Brydges hopes to change this and has a Facebook page set up to spread the word. (Must be Facebook member to see)

She explains. . .

What do you think of this symbol as an international symbol for hidden disabilities? It is meant to be used as an ID card carried by people with hidden disabilities. They can show it to identify themselves and their needs when they are having trouble coping or when they need help. The back of the card would be individualized, allowing them to state their specific disability, and what assistance they need.

She says. . .

Help this symbol be adopted as the international symbol for hidden disability. Many people with hidden disabilities need help, and with this symbol, they can identify themselves and ask for help when they are having trouble coping. Join as a fan.

Find out more at her Facebook Page and show your support if you are interested by becoming a fan.

How is Faith Related to Pain Tolerance?

How is faith related to pain tolerance? Can a person with great faith endure more than a person with little or no faith? What can we learn from people of great faith that will help us live with chronic illness?

In the early years of my husband’s illness, pain made him angry. He fought against his pain, often lashing out. To suggest he give it to God only frustrated him. He was the one with an uncooperative body. How could I know how he felt or what he suffered? Yes, he believed in God and in Jesus Christ, but that belief was not faith. It was head knowledge, not heart knowledge

In our thirty years together, my husband and I have “grown up” in the Lord. Our faith has changed and deepened. Dependence on God has replaced resentment with hope. Faith enables us to say, “this world is not my home” and live based on a healthy spirit rather than a healthy body.

Hebrews 11 names and praises many great people of faith. Verses 13-16 states, “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.

If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.”

When faith is strong enough to assure you of eternal life with God, it is strong enough to see you through the pain in your physical life. My husband has greater physical pain now than ever before, but he knows God has prepared a place for him where pain does not exist.

Just today he said to me, “I can hardly wait for the day when I’ll never have pain again.” He is looking for that city where his real home lies and because of this, he can endure today.

Lora Chandler has been in a care giving role since 1982 when her husband began his life-long struggle with pain due to a bone disease. Lora welcomes your comments at lorac@yucca.net.

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