Special Interview with Renee Bondi

Reprinted from HopeKeepers Magazine 2004

I was having a ball with wedding plans; my music program was a huge success; I was blessed to have had the opportunity to travel and see the world; I had friends and family to love. My life was full, and I saw nothing but blue skies above,” she writes in her book The Last Dance But Not the Last Song. But in May 1988, after a romantic weekend as a prom chaperone with her fiancé, her life would take a dramatic dive—literally.

She went to bed filled with innocent anticipation of life ahead, but awoke “diving” off the foot of her bed. She simply remembers being in mid- air and thinking, “Huh?” and then hitting the floor. Filled with searing pain in her neck and shoulders, she thought, “I’ve really done it now. . . I’ve got a real kink in my neck.”

Later at ICU, however, the doctor would tell her, “You’ll never walk again. . .” and he would be right. That night, Renée became a quadriplegic, having no feeling below the top of her chest. He also told her, however, “You’ll never be able to sing. . .” —and he would be wrong. He didn’t know Renée, her fierce determination and passionate spunk; nor did he understand her faith that would propel her forward through any challenges she would face. Today, Renée has sold over 100,000 albums and she travels throughout the United States singing and speaking for Christian conferences, church events, and youth rallies. But the closest thing to her heart right now is simply being a wife and a mother, miracles that she acknowledge astonish her daily.

I arrived at the church to meet with Renée a bit frazzled, as my directions were confusing. I had also read Renée’s book and I was experiencing a sense of nerves at meeting this inspiring woman. I no longer wanted to sit and just interview her; I wanted to have a relaxing cup of coffee and chat about how she had encouraged me through her honest and raw written words. I started out my conversation with her laughingly sharing how much I related with her frustration of not being able to wear cute, feminine shoes. It’s those little things that make one feel an instant bond.

Despite our surroundings of being in a cubby-hole behind the stage where she would perform in a few minutes when she spoke it was Holy Ground where I would sit with her. Renée’s deep faith and daily surrender were immediately evident.

HK: Many people find losing more abilities the hardest part of living with a chronic condition. How do you get through tough moments?

RB: I’ve often wondered what would it be like if I had something like MS where I wouldn’t really know where I’m going to be in a year. One may wake up tomorrow with some paralysis or dysfunction. At the beginning we felt that way, but after fifteen years, I know what I have is pretty much what I have. I know what tomorrow is going to bring. I don’t have the fear that you may, unless I don’t take care of myself. What has helped me over the years is knowing that with God I can handle anything.

I didn’t have that confidence when I was young, but now I know that I can get through anything–including being confined to the wheelchair– because tomorrow is another day and it could be better. I don’t want to sound like a Pollyanna at all, but I know I’m not going to stay this way forever. I can even have this outlook with the worst case scenario: let’s say I get a pressure wound that gets horrible and infected and I get a staph infection and die. . . Still, it’s not horrible. I will go to Heaven where I get to dance again and run and play and be able to use my body. What most people would call the very worst scenario isn’t bad.

HK: I think that describes the “joy of the Lord is my strength” because a lot of people would say tomorrow could be worse.

RB: And it could be, but you’re not doing yourself any favors.

HK: You’ve had some time where you’ve been bedridden for months. What kinds of things get you through these lonely times?

RB: I think what you can do when you’re having a bad day, rather than being depressed about it, is to go ask yourself, “What can I do to make this better? Am I taking care of myself? Do I have the right medical care and attendant care? Have I made good amends with my family? Do I have a relationship with family members or are they estranged? What changes can I make myself?” Rather than dwell and woe about my life, I need to really ask myself, “What can I do?”

HK: You’ve found a certain peace by having a ministry from your experience. How would you encourage someone who is in deep pain, but still waiting for God to reveal His purpose?

RB: I think it’s really important to know that God does not waste our suffering or pain. I had been through junk, pain and suffering, but others wanted to know, “How do you smile in that wheelchair?” It allowed me to share and question, “How do I?” I was able to realize that God was using everything I had been through for a larger purpose. So I would encourage people to help others in their pain because (a) it helps you get out of your own and put your focus on somebody else; and (b) it gives you purpose to live with the pain.

HK: What’s been the most surprising thing about being a mom with disability?

RB: How quickly my son adapted to my disability. He was only about 12 or 18 months old. . . He needed to get out of the crib and I would calmly say, “Daniel, I’m going to help you get out of the crib. Be very careful and listen to mommy. Grab around my head and hold on tight. Do not let go because mommy cannot catch you. Mommy cannot catch you.” And he’d grab around my neck and climb out and crawl into my lap. How he got out of that crib and onto my lap was amazing. I was so surprised.

HK: I think that’s very encouraging for us moms to hear. Many of us are even more nervous than an average mom about how our child will adapt to different abilities we have.

RB: Oh good. Yes! I was very nervous about the infant stage. Very nervous.

HK: If you could reshape how a church reaches out to the disabled community, what would be your vision or your dream?

RB: Some churches are doing an excellent job, but I think they are far and few between. I think that’s something we as disabled people should take on. We ask ourselves, “What do I have to offer to society?” and this is a huge job —to come to our pastor or parish advisory board and say, “What are we doing really to minister to the disabled? Can I help? Can I start a Bible study for the disabled? Can I make sure we have an accessible church? Where can we sit comfortably? Not all together, for example. If I’m disabled, how can I sit with my family?”

It’s absolutely important not to go in with a hardened heart and with an attitude of, “You owe it to me, you’re my church!” But rather offer yourself to be part of the solution. Don’t be an angry, bitter, demanding person.

I would love to see everything accessible, Bible studies that speak specifically to suffering, and signers for hearing impaired at all services, and my absolute dream would be to have a disabled person on staff. I love the fact that many churches have disability Sunday. Sunday school for children. That’s so hard and I understand why it doesn’t happen because it takes the right people. It’s a big job description—for people to have special education skills and also a relationship with Christ. But it’s a dream.

HK: What dreams do you have for your ministry and how God will continue to work in you and your family’s life?

RB: When I was laying in the ICU, I never dreamed I’d now be a wife and a mom—well. . .yes, I did, because I was in denial: “Of course I will be!” But later . . . after denial, I realized this is real, this is my “thing.” Now, to be a wife and a mom and be able to reach out to others is just more than I deserve.

I am in a very, very, very serious place of being a wife and a mom. If I was in my 20’s and single, I’d want to travel and be a recording artist and speak and minister to others on a grand scale, get a record deal, that sort of thing. But I just have no desire; it’s exhausting to parent this way, there is no doubt about it. I’ve had to get very creative at times—very creative. But more importantly, I want to be a good wife; It’s really about being a good wife in order to be a good mom. That’s the gift we’re going to give our son—mom and dad being okay.

This year I was in bed for seven months on my stomach 24 hours a day, seven days a week, while a pressure wound healed; after that I finally got back up in the chair and had other health problems. It was very taxing on our marriage, very difficult. But we finally survived it. We really started praying for joy. We wanted to be joyful. We were whining and cranky. It was very ugly and so we prayed for God to return our joy.

This year Mike and I went through what everyone expected us to go through fifteen years ago, like when everyone was saying, “What is Mike doing marrying a quadriplegic. Does he realize what he’s giving up?” He realized it this year. But now, we’re much, much better.

Again, I had to step back and look at it without being emotional and ask, “What can I do to help the situation?” I started meditating on Philippians 4:8, “Whatever is true…” and so while I was stuck in bed I’d go through that verse. Okay, what is true? God loves me. What is true? I’m a quadriplegic and I need to find a way to be joyful. What is noble? Mike being married to me. What is pure? Daniel’s smile. What is lovely? I can see the sky outside.

Once I started meditating on this my attitude and heart started to change and I became someone my husband wanted to be around. Mike said, “Okay, that’s the woman I married. She left for awhile, but she’s back now.”

I taped Scriptures on 3 x 5 cards and put them by my bed, and I’d say them over and over, sometimes putting melodies to them. It really helped pass the day in a good way. I also watched every romantic comedy on video, but I got to where I needed more. I called Joni Eareckson Tada and said, “What can I do? I’ve prayed. I need some new ideas! I’m going down for the count!” She said that it was during these times that she began memorizing the second, third and fourth verses of hymns.

Sometimes it’s hard to pray. I remember soon after the accident when I was in the hospital and a chaplain came to pray with me. She said, “Let’s pray,” and I said, “I don’t feel like it. . .” She told me to breath in and say “Jesus.” Then slowly breath out and say “Mercy. . .” “Jesus. . . Mercy. . .” and soon my heart began to soften.

HK: Thanks so much for sharing with us, Renée. I know you will encourage many.

Visit Renee Bondi’s web site for more information on her ministry, her speaking, music and more, including her latest book and CD (where you can hear samples.)

Lisa Copen had the honor of interviewing Renee Bondi.

Christmas Lights to “Amazing Grace”

If you didn’t get a chance to get out and see Christmas lights this year, no worries. Here is an amazing Christmas light “show” to the tune of Amazing Grace.

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This is My Christmas Prayer Video

When BeBe Winans sings This is My Christmas Prayer we get goosebumps! Enjoy!

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13 Gift Ideas for a Chronically Ill Gal

We women like to shop and there’s nothing better than seeing the face of a friend light up when we offer up our thoughtfulness and creativity wrapped in a box with home-made, hand-stamped paper bag wrapping paper, all tied up with a raffia ribbon and dried orange slices. Say what?

If you’re like me—since it’s the thought that counts—you basically try to stuff the gift into a dollar-store gift bag, rip the wrinkled tag off, and wrap a strip of shipping tape on the handle so it doesn’t burst. But I used to be the girl that did rafia with home-made dried orange slices.

Either way, shopping for a chronically ill friend can be both fun and intimidating. We want to give her something she’ll like (she can’t get enough of that American Indian blanket she brought back from Arizona last year) but we don’t want to add to the frustration of giving her a gift she won’t really use (like a matching leather jacket with fringe sleeves to wear out to those Christmas parties).

And how many bottles of scented lotion can a girl really use? And if she gets another “Be Happy Bouquet” or “Teddy Bear” she’ll run screaming from the room.

Here are 13 ideas to get you brainstorming for things she may enjoy:

1. Make her a wall collage. Even if you aren’t crafty, head on down to your craft store and buy a few scrapbooking embellishments. Spray paint a bulletin board and attach your photos, notes, special poems, and the little do-dads you bought. The less crafty you are the more she’ll love it, but don’t be offended if she puts it in her bedroom and not above the couch in the living room.

2. Okay, so you can’t afford the $3000 hot tub, but if she’s able to get into the tub (many people can’t, so double check) give her a bathtub jets spa. Amazon sells the Conair Thermal Bath Spa Mat for under $100.

3. Is she a movie buff? Treat her to a gift of movie rentals via postal mail through a service ($7-15 a month) for a year. This is one of those presents she will call you and thank you for again and again.

4. Buy her some cheery winter necessities. A fun umbrella, a colorful scarf and gloves, even a pair of ear muffs. And if she has to be places when her car windows are going to frost over be sure to stick in a can of spray defroster.

5. Get her a pretty gift box to keep all of her notes of encouragement. Remind her to get it out and read things when she is feeling down. Start to fill up the box yourself a few weeks before giving it to her. You can clip articles, comments, scriptures, funny photos. If you wish, put them in envelopes that say, “When you’re feeling like no one understands” or “When you need a good laugh.” Let her friends know that it would be encouraging if they would start sending her items or notes to add to it in the new year too!

6. Plant a rosebush or another hearty plant that require little maintenance that she can view from a window. Or get a bird feeder, a wind chime or a fun solar-powered patio decoration.

7. Give her a compilation CD of songs that will encourage her when she is feeling down. If you know someone who is 18 years or younger, there is an organization, Songs of Love, that will actually write a song for an ill child. See songsoflove.org . Also, consider buying books on CD if she loves to read but can’t always focus long. Or get her a shower CD player to help make the transition to the shower easier on those sore mornings.

8. Order some items from her favorite organization at their web site. For example, Rest Ministries has some darling items that say “Hope Endures” which don’t have the word “illness” on it. In black and white, the fleece jackets and little tote purses are cute and a reminder to her that you support the organizations she supports.

9. Short on time? Check out wellbaskets.com where you can order the perfect gift basket for a friend who has diabetes, a thyroid issue, cancer, depression or chronic pain. They fill them with appropriate food goodies, CDs, books, teas and more.

10. Heat! A heating pad, a blanket, warm socks, or a cozy neck wrap. If you’re creative, give her a hot water bottle and make a liner that will make her laugh. During those cold winter months this will be a nice reminder of your friendship. A few new throw pillows can live a place up too. Buy something soft and comfy to lie back on or prop a leg up on.

11. If she is bored and has a sense of humor, bring out the kid in her and bring some markers, coloring books, origami books, etc. Or find out if there is a new hobby she’d like to read more about whether it’s photography or gardening in pots and buy her current magazines and books on this topic.

12. A charm bracelet is a sentimental gift if you can make a habit of buying charms as future gifts that signify the strength and hope you see in her. You can find charms for nearly anything online if you’re unable to find them at the store. And some can be silly—just have a story behind each one that will make her smile. Remember to buy her charms celebrating anniversaries too—those dates no one else will remember.

13. One of the best gifts of all? A JOY Coupon! This is from Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend, but can easily be reproduced even in a handwritten note. JOY stands for “Just Offering You…” and then write out whatever you will do: Mow the law, do all the laundry (sheets included!), baby sit, drive her to appointments, or even just listen to her vent for thirty minutes without saying a word.

All gifts that come in boxes are fun, but the best gift of all you can give is your time and your unconditional love. When she is throwing up in your new car, when she is canceling plans for the third time, when she is calling you at midnight in tears, or when she is making you uncomfortable as she laughs about all her hair falling out. Being a true friend through all of this is a gift few will give and those who do will be treasured forever.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and author of Beyond Casseroles 505 Ways Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend

A Talk Over Tea – Reflecting Back to 2002

Years ago, days before all our families were to arrive for Christmas, I stood in the kitchen and felt the floor squish. Within hours men started to arrive and traipse dirt into my home, the entire kitchen floor was ripped out, large holes were made in the drywall of three rooms, and Christmas decorations were torn down to bring in large fans that ran twenty-four hours a day.

My car had been in the shop for over seven weeks for a job that should have taken a few days. Tension was high in my home, but I had no choice but to pray the roof wouldn’t fall in too. At last, I got my car and two men put in a new hard-wood floor while I ran to get groceries. Relatives began to arrive from out of state —literally—within two hours of the floor being completed. It was. . .well, stressful!

But imagine with me for a moment how Mary, mother of Jesus must have felt. She discovers she is pregnant—with the child of God! (Talk about pressure!) But she grasps this and then, wouldn’t it figure, a decree to register comes out and the man she is pledged to is from Bethlehem.

According to Arthur Blessitt, the Guinness Book of Record’s holder for ‘the world’s longest walk’, after Mary conceived she walked from Nazareth to south of Jerusalem to see her cousin Elizabeth, (130 miles one way), then back again. And with Joseph she walked back south of Jerusalem to Bethlehem (another 130 miles). During all this walking travel of 390 miles Mary was with child! Some have argued that nowhere does it say she rode on a donkey.

She finally gets there and says, “Hey, uh, Joe, honey, it’s time.” So Joseph looks for a place for her to rest and finds all the inns are full. . “Oh, God, give me a break here! It’s your baby! Haven’t I been patient? This trip couldn’t have come at a worse time, but have I complained?”

Luke 2:7 says, “She wrapped [the baby] in cloths and placed him in a manger.” I’m sure she thought he was beautiful. From the very beginning God did things out of the ordinary, even if it resulted in a loss of comfort. Two years ago I casually talked about the Lord to every workman that came through my door who expected to find a stressed out woman on the other side.

This Christmas season, look for God’s best in the midst of all the stress.

Lisa Copen

(Mary Did You Know -- Mark Lowery singing with clips from The Nativity)

Yes, There IS a Santa Clause!

In 2004 I had the honor of interviewing Ed Butchart about his outreach and ministry as “Santa.” Sadly, his wife went to be with the Lord soon after (see a lovely tribute to her.) He has since had his second book published (the first one, The Red Suit Diaries is a gem!) and has a brand new web site with photos, his schedule, and much more. I encourage you to visit his site and learn more about this amazing man, fondly called “Santa” by many. Lisa Copen

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Yes, there is a Santa Claus. Storybooks say that he and Mrs. Claus live somewhere in the North Pole, but a rumor has spread that they actually live in a little town outside of Atlanta, Georgia and they go by the off-season name of Ed and Anna Butchart. Known around the world as “Wheelchair Santa” Ed gives more than just simple promises of dolls and trucks; he and his wife give the love of the Lord to both adults and kids that live with physical disabilities. He may not have typical reindeer, but He doesn’t need them. “It’s been an amazing ride,” says, Ed. “God is so good.”

Ed’s book, Red Suit Diaries, is a heart-warming (and sometimes bittersweet) tale of how God put him on this path. He’s had an interesting career path that would have left any man running for the North Pole wondering what God’s plan was: A twenty year career in the Marines, a salesman job of medical diagnostic products, and then an ordained pastor.

It was in Vietnam as a Marine he repaired his first wheelchair for a 12-year-old girl who had lost her legs from a land-mine explosion, but he didn’t realize the calling God had in store for him. Back home in Georgia, he met a man at church who had cerebral palsy. Ed admits, “I was quite put off by him and didn’t know what to say to him so I didn’t say anything for a couple of years and then one day I said, ‘hello’ and to my astonishment he answered me, ‘hello!’”

Soon Ed was coming by this man’s home to visit, and the man asked him to help change a light bulb. “An amazing feeling swept over me because it was the first time I had ever done anything for somebody who could not do it for themselves. So I began to do other odd jobs for him and for other people in that same complex who were all disabled.” They asked Ed to lead a Bible study and with support from Mt. Carmel Christian Church, Ed took the plunge and went into ministry full-time, even going back to college to get a degree in theology.

“We didn’t really know what exactly we wanted to do,” says Ed, “but five days later somebody gave me a wheelchair. Well—they told me ‘one is by the dumpster at the parking complex.’ So I went and got it. Then somebody gave me another one and another one and I started working on them in the garage. My wife said, ‘Well, what are we going to do with five wheelchairs?’ and I said, ‘I don’t know. I’ll fix them up and give them away!’ So we fixed those up and gave them away. And then there were more and more. Now we’ve given away almost 12,000 wheelchairs, one at a time.”

Friends of Disabled Adults and Children (FODAC) is now a multimillion-dollar charity that repairs wheelchairs, van lifts, hospital beds and other equipment for the disabled, a mission ministry of Mt. Carmel Christian Church, giving away medical equipment to 36 states and 62 countries, including a recent load to Iraq.

The ministry now resides in a 65,000 square foot building in Stone Mountain, Georgia. “We have seen God’s hand in everything we’ve done. God has done many miracles to keep our finances afloat and the medical supplies coming in,” says Ed. In fact, he’s written another book about the miracles that have occurred within this ministry, hopefully due out in 2005.

Ed was Santa for his church when he decided to grow a real beard and become a “professional Santa.” “It fits in with what we’re doing here because I am the Santa that gives away wheelchairs,” says Ed. . . er, Santa. “I get letters here addressed to ‘Wheelchair Santa.’ When you give things away, that makes you Santa Claus, whether you’ve got a beard and a red suit or not.”

People all over Georgia call him Santa, but he’s right—it’s not because of any red suit. “People come up to me all the time and say things like, ‘You gave my mom a wheelchair and I want to thank you. It made her life so much better for the two years she lived.’ People who don’t have an opportunity to hear that are depriving themselves of an incredible blessing. We always tell people that they don’t need to thank us, but to say their prayers tonight, and thank the Lord, because He’s the one who put this thing together. He is the one who inspired someone to donate it to us so we could give it to you. That’s all we’re doing.”

“We had no idea when we started what we were getting into or that the need was so great,” says Ed. “There are so many people out there who cannot afford a wheelchair or a walker, or anything. Their whole lives are limited by the fact that they can’t afford the equipment so they can live a full life. Once we discovered how many people were out there, the task just became completely overwhelming. No way could we do this by ourselves, but the Lord kept providing a way! And that’s what we learned: When you are in God’s will for your life, He is going to provide and take care of you so you can get things done.”

Their building is the home to a thrift shop, repair rooms and even a small “Santa room” filled with donated toys. Disabled children and siblings who visit can take home as many toys as they want, Most gasp when they see the room, but they usually only take one.

“I worked jobs all my life that paid me big money to do it,” says Ed. “But I never found out how valuable I was until I gave myself away and people began to tell me about the impact of what we had given them had had on their life. Then I began to understand how favored my life was. And it just floored me. It just completely overwhelmed me.” Butchart told Caroline Mack of EnabledOnline.com.

“Dreams and desires are every bit as real for those who do live with a disability. They are people just like everyone else, wanting the same things—someone to love them and accept them as they are.” “We don’t apologize for being a Christian organization,” says Ed. “We tell them where it came from, we give them the stuff, we don’t ask any questions. We give them our little message and they go away with it and what they do with it. . . I don’t know. . .”

But sometimes he does know. A mother of a young girl recently approached Ed and said that last year her daughter had sat on his lap and he had told her about the best gift this world had ever received—Jesus Christ. This little girl went home so excited that Santa loved Jesus! Christmas morning she said she would just “pray to Jesus to tell Santa thanks for the toys because Jesus and Santa are good friends.” She soon accepted Christ into her life and was later baptized, because “I know it’s the right thing to do because Santa did it.”

But this humble Santa accepts little credit, “I am faithful to the task that God has called me to do. But you think I didn’t cry when her mother told me that? I just sat there and lost it! I couldn’t even get up out of my rocking chair.” Yes, my friends, there is a Santa Claus.

Reprinted from HopeKeepers Magazine, 2004

Being What God Created Us to Be

I found this video at Advocacy for Patients web site and watched its in its entirety.  It is a sweet and precious video of  the story of a dog who has gone beyond what his owner ever intended. But it is also a nice reminder for those of us who cope with chronic illness on a daily basis and wonder if God will ever be able to use us the way we are. I hope it brings you a moment of joy today.

What are the Nicest Things Someone Did For You?

During this season of thankfulness we asked our readers “What did someone do for you that made you feel special?” As you will see, it’s not the presents, but the presence of a friend that encourages us to keep pushing forward when we wonder if we will make it through this life. . . Do something special for someone today. They’ll never forget it!

My chiropractor came to my home and worked on me without charge.—Jerry Ann

My 9-year-old daughter made me a cup of hot tea when I had a horrendous migraine. I hadn’t even asked her for anything. —Beth

Right after my father passed away a friend turned up at my house with a teddy bear as big as she was. Then she took me out for a “mystery journey”—her treat. First, to her hairdresser to have my hair done; then out for lunch. —Carole

When I wasn’t feeling well was my four-year-old granddaughter, Rianna, cuddled me and wiped my head with a wet cloth; I was on the floor after collapsing and being sick from the overloading my liver with medication. She tucked me into bed afterward and held my hand. My sister wasn’t able to help; she hadn’t seen me having “a fit” before and was afraid, so Rianna also comforted her by telling her not to worry, she would look after us both.—Penny

My father paid a cleaning service to come into my home and clean everything, top to bottom, in and out. It really gave me a lift to have everything clean and it was so much easier to keep up after that. —Kim

Someone said she didn’t know how I felt but she cared. —Julie

A friend from church called and said she was coming over to help me. When she got there she wanted to start cleaning, but I told her I wanted her to sit down with me. She did and I cried out my heart to her and she held me and let me cry for over an hour. It felt as if Jesus Himself was holding me. I have never forgotten what she did. She still comes and checks on me and has taken me to doctors’ appointments. I love her because of her Christ-like nature. —Tanya

Someone came with home-made chicken soup. I don’t know whether it was the soup or the caring that made me feel better. —Phyllis

At a church retreat it rained and I could not get out of bed. Not only did people visit me and bring me meals, they squished as many people as would fit into my room and sang for me. I was lifting my hands and praising God in bed. —Linda

My church made meals, had people buy me groceries, provided companionship and organized rides for me to all my appointments. I was restricted from driving for six months, so that was a lot of rides. Some folks even brought me fancy coffee from Starbucks just because they knew I liked it. I will always be grateful. —Diane

What did someone do to encourage you? Comment below to share! And if yo are looking for more ideas, be sure to check out Lisa’s book Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend for lots more ideas!

Lessons From the River

Less than a month ago I was waiting for test results to shed some light on the pain and numbness I had been feeling. When Jeff asked if I wanted to go canoeing with him and three guys from church, I started to decline; I was beginning to withdraw from friends.

It was easier for me to stay home; canoeing and camping would make me dependent on them. But with their reassurances and encouragement from my wife, I decided to go along.

By evening of the third day, I start to “get it.” As we paddled in two days ago, I felt strangely at peace, no longer worried about my limitations. With each stroke I was soon quietly singing each line from the Doxology:

“Praise God from who all blessings flow (splash), Praise Him all creatures here below (splash) Praise Him above ye heavenly host, (splash) Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost (splash)”

Reflecting on the long list of blessings that God has given me I feel humbled, but also loved. I am as sure of His presence and goodness as the water laps on the rocks.

I’ve noticed joy starting to seep out in what I’m saying and doing. Each meal has become a celebration of God’s provision, and as Casey noted, it now isn’t complete until I have declared it “the best camp meal I’ve ever had.” Chores are opportunities to serve my brothers in Christ; in the cold morning when I’m moving slowly, to accept their service with joy and humility.

Conversation is a blessing and a comfort. None of this would have happened had my friends accepted my initial refusal to come along.

I have finally been able to express this lesson to my friends: God indeed loves me. I know He is good, He is powerful, and He could heal me. Echoing Shadrach’s words before being thrown into Nebuchadnezzar’s fiery furnace,

“…and if not…” (see Daniel 3:16-18). If it doesn’t happen, I will still praise Him. For I see the extent to which He has already healed me: through His Son, He has healed my heart, my mind, and my soul. Even on a simple camping trip, He is still healing me. I praise Him for what He has done already, and as I’ve learned these last few days, I will gratefully accept each day as a gift from His loving hands. “Praise God from whom all blessings flow…”

Matthew Atkinson lives in Cottage Grove, MN with his wife Elspeth and two girls. He works, volunteers with his church’s children’s ministry, and is a Lay Counselor in his Congregational Care Ministry.

Reprinted from HopeKeepers Magazine, published by Rest Ministries.

Find the Joy of The Lord in the Winter Season

This morning, I walked outside as my husband was leaving for work. I noticed the leaves blowing across the yard in blurs of gold, orange and brown. The morning sun felt warm on my shoulders and the sky was cloudless and blue. I stood for a moment in wonder at the beauty of God’s Creation. In my busy life of work and worry, I often forget to look up. The words of Jesus, “Each day has enough trouble of its own,” (Matthew 6:34) is the way I live. Today is all I can deal with.

As I thought about that, it occurred to me that during autumn and winter things die and return to the earth to wait for spring’s renewal. The death that is occurring could devastate us if we didn’t know about the spring. I suddenly felt joyful, realizing that I am able to deal with today because I know about spring! I know that after this period of dying is over, renewal and rebirth will come to us in ways more glorious than we can imagine.

Recently, I received an email from a reader who is a caregiver to her husband. She said that she accepts that responsibility because she has to, but she would rather be doing it with a joyful heart. I understand her feelings of resentment and disappointment. I have not entirely conquered those feelings. In fact, as I read her letter, I felt sorry for myself, wishing that I could experience life with a man who feels good, who likes himself, who is confident, and fun to be with.

As harsh as that may sound, I don’t feel guilty about such feelings anymore. Such feelings are normal and a natural reaction to responsibility that is forced upon a person by the chronic illness of a loved one. Good things can come from chronic illness. Compassion, understanding, service, patience, commitment, devotion, and love are blessings that come from sharing the trials of life.

However, these things do not come easily and must be developed over long periods of time, persistence and prayer. Chronic illness often interferes with our marriages and sometimes breaks them down, destroying the intimacy that needs to be there. It can frustrate us to the point of hopelessness, making it difficult to put our personal feelings aside and focus instead on positive living.

I cling to a verse that reminds me where to find joy. It is Nehemiah 8:10: “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Joy does not come from marriage, children, friends, money or any earthly circumstance, not even from good health. Joy comes from the Lord; and joy found in Him will give us strength to survive the scars of chronic illness. When joy is spoken of in scripture, it is always connected with God. Joy springs from a spiritual awareness that God loves us unconditionally and extends His grace to us in every trial of our lives.

When we seek joy in God and His love, we can have peace in our hearts in spite of the stress of chronic illness. We must learn to love others as God loves us, because if we don’t, we will continue to be frustrated by the disappointments of life. God understands our disappointment and resentment. He forgives us and loves us no matter what. God’s love is healing, and enables us to let go of resentment and serve our loved ones with joyful hearts.

This is a season of thanksgiving. Look in the mirror and remind yourself that spring is coming. Be thankful for the hope that lies in that knowledge and remember that the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Lora Chandler has been in a care giving role since 1982 when her husband began his life-long struggle with pain due to a bone disease. Lora welcomes your comments at lorac@yucca.net.

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