The Raging Sea – Poem

A wave, crashing against the shore
Shaking me from my reverie
I was lost in my thoughts once again
Lost within the confines of my pain
An infinite jumble of emotional fears and doubts
I struggled to make some sense
Of my life thus far

In a world tinged in darkness and pain
I know that my heart remains pure
But not untouched by it
My life of pain has left an imprint upon me
The valleys and crevices are emotions pool
Often overflow within me
Drown me in feelings of despair

And now the wave, lapping at my bare toes
Sends it’s icy fingers up my body
Refreshing and terrifying all the same
Reminding me of the coldness I once carried
Reinforcing this need to grasp onto the
only person that has given me Hope.
And claim Him as my own

A rumble, growling behind a curtain of cloud
Lost amid flashes of white against gray
Perpetuates this growing feeling
Disturbs me, but ever so slightly
Reminds me that I am real
I am alive despite the pain
I am living despite this painful reality
I live with every day

Swirling, darkening, tension grows
As a mighty flash of lightning
Licks a fragile web across the sky
And the Heavens split open
Drenching me in its awesome power
Opening up the flood gates that
Hold my emotions in check

As I had screamed into the wind and rain
Scream against the stinging drops
Rage against the injustice of my life
Of emotions, running wild
I Feel this heart with in me beat wildly
So raw! So real!
I realize I am alive despite sorrows of lost dream

Howling winds begins to carry debris
From my past and present
Carry me forward, into His arms
As I surrender myself, peace calms
The raging storm that is with in me.
Calms the sea that stand before me.

As I look towards the calming waters
I see Him walking upon the waters
As He moves towards me His foots
Steps I see in the sand.
He cups my face with His gentle fingers
And I know that despite the pain I
Feel, my life has always been in
His hands…

By Barbara Engle

Barbara Engle, 54, has been battling Gastroduodenal Crohn’s disease all herlife. As a result of Crohn’s of the stomach she developed Gastroparesis. Following a car accident over a decade ago, her battle began with fibromyalgia. She says, “By the grace of God abd His mercy, I have learned to live with my illness and not be defeated by it.