When complications from our illness or injury become overwhelming, is it possible to overcome the fears that accompany them? Sandy shares. . .
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” (Psalm 94:19)
I have had such times of pain and illness in the past six months or so. In October, I was simply walking down the hallway using my cane, when my Siamese kitty kept whining and swerving in and out of my legs. She knows when I am having a bad day and was worrying about me. But, two legs, four legs, and a cane cannot fit in a tight place and down I went!
I knew I injured my foot right away! But after treating it for several weeks, it seemed better. The swelling was gone, I could walk on it. All was well.
In January we discovered that actually my foot was broken in 4 places! The neuropathy in my feet is so profound, that I did not know I was walking on broken bones until they moved to the place where they were bumping up against my ankle! Broken bones had moved, bone chips were present, it was such a mess that various doctors and specialist could not agree on how to treat this poor little foot. My neuropathy, multiple sclerosis, and other illnesses made surgery an iffy option.
Meanwhile, I was living for weeks in pain. I was propped on the couch, foot elevated, and waiting for the day that “my foot is fixed.” All of my attention was waiting in hope for that day. My other illnesses were forgotten because of the all consuming pain of deciding how bad I wanted to get off the couch and gimp to the bathroom.
After appointments to orthopedic surgeons who referred me to other specialist, my little foot is set in a boot. The boot holds my foot somewhat stable so that I can walk a bit without pain. Otherwise my mobility is the wheelchair. This is it.
I was okay with that. I knew my illnesses were leading to life in a wheelchair anyway. In fact I already had the wheelchair in my home for quite a while now. But a week or so after the boot was put on I cried. I cried! This is my life now!
I was focused all that time on getting my “foot fixed.” Now all of my other health issues that I had put on the back burner have flooded back on me–and my foot is not fixable!
Scripture says, “When my anxiety was great within me, your consolations brought joy to my soul” (Psalm 94:19).
I cried for a long time. But it was good for me. As the despair first hit me, my heart turned to God. My tears, then, belonged to Him. He softened my heart with His love. He took the stiffness of fear away. He held me in His love.
“The Lord your God is with you,
He is mighty to save,
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)
I felt washed in His love, and new like the spring after the storm. I went out to our back deck and wheeled up to the table. I pondered His immense love. The breeze was a little cool, but refreshing after the storm of tears. The sky was rich twilight blue. Several geese flew through our backyard on their way to the lake. All of the beauty around surrounding me felt like a hug from its Creator. His Spirit was in the breeze around me.
After profound fear, comes profound love.
About the Author:
Sandra Platt is a minister’s wife and mother of two great college kids. She is owned by two beautiful 15-year-old spoiled cats. She lives in a beautiful area of rural Southern Indiana. She is thankful for all of her years of friendship with Rest Ministries.