“Oh Lord, you have searched me & You know me.” (Psalm 139:1)
Have you ever had someone walk up to you & ask, “Don’t I know you?” Maybe they seem a bit familiar to you, too, but neither of you can really figure out where you might have know each other. Or maybe you do, & then have a great time reliving the past.
Lately I feel that some of those in my family or circle of friends might be able to say the same thing to me. I’m sure they look at me & think back to who & what I used to be, & wonder, “Is this really the same person I knew way back when?” Even though, at first I tried to explain, they somehow just didn’t get it.
Why can’t you go shopping with me? (I think, “Because I don’t even have the strength to fix a meal for my husb&.”)
Why can’t we go on an overnight mini-trip like old times? (I think, “Because of the bleach, fabric softener, cleaning supplies, & so on that have been used in the sheets, towels, etc. Or maybe because of the scented c&les & flowers sitting around that cause uncontrollable coughing & swelling of my lips, tongue, throat, etc.”)
Why don’t you ever come to visit anymore? Why do I have to always come to your house? (I think, “Because my eyesight is so dim I am afraid I will put, not only my own life in danger while driving, but the lives of others.”)
I could go on & on with the list, but I know some of you would think the same way, & even have your own reasons “why you can’t!” I don’t usually give these types of answers to people anymore. I just tell them that maybe another time would be better for me, if they will be available.
Even after all these years, & trying to explain at first, I know that people don’t underst& unless they are “walking in my shoes” so to speak. People such as all of you who are reading this devotional. Oh, how grateful I am to be able to share with you open & honestly, & to know I won’t be criticized or taken in the wrong way!
But, I AM the same person I have always been! In most ways I even look like the same person, fashioned by the Master Potter’s own h&s. I have just been dropped & broken into pieces that God is putting back together in another fashion. And, I have His blessed assurance that He is reforming me into a vessel that can still be used to praise Him, & to give Him all glory & honor. I just have to be willing, even while living in pain & with limitations.
No, I guess people don’t really know me anymore. I don’t feel like know myself most of the time. It can get pretty frustrating & lonely at times. But, as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, & take time to sit in His presence, I know He will see me through every valley.
HE KNOWS ME! And, He loves & accepts me just as I was, just as I am, & will love me for whatever I become – as long as I show Him I love Him back.
Prayer: Thank you, Father for “really knowing me,” & loving me through all circumstances.
About the Author:
Alice Ervin lives with Fibromyalgia, Degenerative Arthritis, Chemical Sensitivities, & other chronic illnesses. She does so with the help of her beloved husb& & friends who are always willing to help in any way they can. Most of all, she is helped by, & is thankful for the constant presence & comfort of her Savior, Jesus Christ.
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