“When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.” (Matthew 14:13)
I was recently sharing with a friend how exhausted I am lately, coping with some harsh flares of my rheumatoid arthritis. “I love people,” I explained. “But when I am in so much pain I need space. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to answer the phone. I don’t want anyone in my house, even the housekeeper. And that feels so selfish! I don’t want to be that person! But I shouldn’t have to leave my own house to get some quiet.”
“Lisa,” she calmly said. “What did Jesus do when he was tired and needed to find renewal?”
“He withdrew” I said.
“Yes,” she said quietly.
Oh.
What does “withdrawing” mean to you? We all have read how Jesus went “away” quite frequently. There were times when it was just a stone’s throw away from his disciples (Luke 22:41), and other times He went to the mountains or desert. But even Jesus knew there were times he would literally need a boat in order to escape the demands of life to be able to talk with His Father.
Connecting with God takes time. I’ve learned that for me, those 8-minute little pre-packaged devotionals are comforting, but they don’t get me to the deep soul-quenching talk I need to have with God to feel fulfilled. And sometimes to get this we need to “go.” Go can mean changing the lighting, putting on some music, or stacking up some cozy pillows. It can also mean getting in your car and just driving a bit, or pulling over and looking at the sunset or a hody of water.
And what if we feel guilty about withdrawing in order to grow close to God? That is Satan telling us lies: “Real Christians should be able to connect with God anywhere, any time,” he says. “You are being selfish asking for that time to yourself. Your family needs you. You already spent time today ‘resting’ and now you need time to be with God. A good parent wouldn’t put her kids last.”
Do you hear those lies?
So know without a doubt that I love to hear from everyone here at Rest Ministries. I cherish your emails. You keep me going each day. But if you are like me sometimes feel like life’s demands make you feel like there are not enough hours in the day to be everything to everyone. The best place to start is just being a child of the most Holy God. Everything else will fall into place.
Prayer: Lord, help me to remember that withdrawing from the world to spend time with just You is a holy thing and not something I should feel guilty about!
About the Author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries, lives with her 8-year-old son and husband, and deals with rheumatoid arthritis and all it’s symptoms and side effects. It’s through her ministry she is able to keep getting out of bed each day, but she’s learning it’s occasionally okay to put the covers over her head.
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When you take time to withdraw where do you go? Do you go somewhere or just have a retreat in your own home? Do you turn off the phone? Avoid the internet?
that was great, Lisa!
Thank You Thank You! Thank You!, This made me cry, I get so much guilt and judgement thrown on me from my (mostly) family and friends. They do not understand. I regularly retreat to be with my Father, with both praises and sorrows. Now I can do this without guilt inside of ME. Learning to listen for His voice and believe what HE says about who I am! Today your post did that for me:). Thanks for being the clay jar that poured itself out for Him!<3
I just wanted to say, “Yes, it’s okay!!” I recently, my son and I went on a week vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC. My son desperately needed time away from work, but didn’t want to go alone as he is single. So he took me!! We both needed to get away since the death of my step-father-in-law. My son and I took care of him for 5 years while he was on dialysis. He wasn’t an easy person to care for so we were both at our wits end when he finally passed away. Work was also very challenging for my son as his shop was implementing new things. So we finally got away. All we did was relax by the pool, go to meals or go to the ocean.
We came back refreshed, but I fell into a depression when I got back. Depression is one of the illnesses I struggle with on a chronic basis so I found it odd it came after we came back. I spent a lot of the past few days at the Lord’s feet because of what I was feeling. I think I understand why now. The Lord was asking me to learn that it is okay to withdraw and come to Him. It is okay to take a break. The second day I was home, my other son, who might have been jealous we went away, said a snide remark to me about going away on my son’s tab. I had been so grateful to go to a place like Myrtle Beach as I would not have been able to afford it on my own. It was a gift from my son. Satan would love for us to think such negative things about taking care of ourselves. May God Bless You!!
How awesome and true is that? I think that God wants us at our best as much as we can be. This means we NEED time to stop and regroup. We need time to meditate, pray and rest. Even if it means withdrawing, he knows what we need and sometimes peace is exactly that very thing. Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m new to the site and I really like it here.
God Bless,
Vicky
Vicky, I’m new too, and I too LOVE it:) I have 2 groups on FB that I am part of that we talk, pray support each other. What a great gift God has given us in the internet. Think how alone we would all be without it. God Bless!
When I’m up to it, I go walking. That’s my “zen” time. I guess that counts as withdrawal. We don’t have anywhere at home I can do this, so I get on the treadmill at Pivotal Fitness. I can work out some stiffness that way (osteo, not rheumatoid) and just tune out everything and everybody while I do it.
@Margaret Shearman – glad you enjoyed Myrtle Beach and the hospitality of our great state. I’m in Charleston.
We truly enjoyed the people we met along our trip, but South Carolina was the most welcoming. The people were very friendly to us. That southern hospitality is such a welcome when your spirit is tired!! We also came across several people where we stayed who were headed on to Charleston. My mom, who once lived in Myrtle Beach always spoke of Charleston as being a very charming place.
As I am growing older, I am not responding well to our winters here in western New York State. The pain from arthritis and the lack of sunlight bother me a lot more than ever. I am seriously thinking of moving south somewhere. So while traveling south to Myrtle Beach I was watching the towns closely. I do know that when we were in the warmer states, my pain was much less. And, yes, the people were very friendly to us. That southern hospitality is such a welcome when your spirit is tired!! If I decide to relocate, my next step is to find subsidized housing. That will be a challenge as I have no idea what areas are safe which is especially important to me. The Lord, prayer and patience will be my Guide. 😉
Thank you Lisa. A wonderful devotional again. I do not “withdraw” to be with Jesus often enough. My laziness / tiredness make me stay in bed too late, but for a woman who keeps asking the Lord to help me be closer to him, I might reconsider my early mornings.
God bless!
Thanks so much for this. I just spent the most of the last two days sleeping or doing as little as possible. I am 47 now, and I have gotten to the point where I can give myself permission to rest up when my body is telling me it needs to, but I still have a nagging little voice of guilt that tells me I’m not really even sick and I ought to be out pushing myself harder instead of staying inside and being so lazy. I am very prone to seizures and headaches, and there are just some days when there would be too much stimulation and chaos in the outside world for my nervous system. When I was younger I would ignore that quiet inner voice and wind up in the emergency room because I had tried to do too much when I shouldn’t have.
Melanie, I have that little voice too-and it’s SO hard to not believe what it tells you:( I don’t know why, but with all the people out there that call us lazy and crazy, I think WE are actually the one’s who treat ourselves the worst! Trying to hear God’s still small voice against the clamor of everyone and everything else is a much needed goal. That’s why I loved this devotion so much! It was like God was giving me PERMISSION to treat myself nicely. If we are to love other’s as we love ourselves-we need to love OURSELVE’S. Makes sense when you stop and think about it:)
Today, I read a verse from Matthew 11:28-30 which has always come to mind when I am very tired. I don’t always heed it when I should, though. It says, ” Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to make a real rest.Walk with me and work with me– watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (The Message)
When we returned from our trip to Myrtle Beach, my other son made a snide remark to me that opened the door to heavy guilt. I spent a week in deep depression, not able to figure out how or where this came from. Physically, I well-rested, but emotionally I was exhausted. Slowly, I was able to find the reasons for the depression and I was really surprised as to what I found. It dealt with self-hate, guilt, etc…..all things I thought I had dealt with in the past. I couldn’t have found these issues unless I had come to just rest at the feet of Jesus.
I had to withdraw to Him to begin to recover my life. I was renewed in His grace and love. My sons tend to drink a lot, and in this emotional exhaustion I was experiencing, I got wrapped up in their drinking. I let it affect me which also deepened the depression. After withdrawing to Him, I was renewed and strengthened so I could emotionally detach from them. This morning one of my sons called and asked me if it bothered me about what they do. This was a first as they never seemed to care before in regards to the drinking. I said that it used to but now I can’t let it take control of my life anymore. I realized I had recovered my personal boundaries again. I had recover my sense of self again and I could love myself because of the love, grace and guidance of Jesus Christ.
Thanks so much for shari0ng your thoughts.
I need to withdraw more…..
Lisa: Either i’ve forgotten or missed this devotional when it was posted. So I was so glad to get back to it via the Goodie Bag Winner #4 posting. This is a big issue with me. Some things just need to be delgated to others or let go in order to have a personal retreat with the Lord.
If we ask for guidance in choosing or making a place in our homes condusive to this, He will show us. I think He wants this time with us even more than we do, and my heart yearns for it often.
Critics may not understand and tell us we’re wrong, but let’s obey our wonderful Lord. The rewards are great and the neglectiing our spiritual health can be devastatingl.
Lisa, I’m so grateful for this affirmation. Blessings to you.
Gentle hug,
Beth
Lisa, Thanks for making me a goodie bag winner! It made my day:)! I haven’t seen an e-mail from you and am wondering where I’m supposed to send you my snail mail address? (Sorry-not very technical) I LOVE this site and tell my friends about it-thanks for doing all this! HUGS~Teresa Krull
thanks to EVERYONE… I so love hearing your feedback and it’s affirmation to me to practice what I tell you to do… always easier to say it than to put it into place, huh
@Teresa – my computer crashed before the email went out. If you can send it to me through the contact us button above it will go out soon! thanks!