“How painful are honest words! But what do your arguments prove?” (Job 6:25)
Why is it so painful to be honest? Why is it I’d rather make up just about any excuse for not doing something than admit my health isn’t up to some event or activity?
Even after all these years of affliction, I still don’t like to admit that my health is the reason I can’t do something. I guess none of us like to admit to weakness of any sort. We would rather excuse our health situation and blame anything other than admit to weakness.
Somehow, admitting to a physical disability seems like a defeat. We cheer on those who do not let handicaps get in their way, and rightly so, but even in a culture that ought to be a bit smarter by now, we still steer away from afflictions of all sorts. There is still a discomfort level at seeing someone in a wheelchair or using a cane, because we correctly surmise that, being human, it could be us in that chair or leaning on that cane; age and disability reaches us all eventually, but no one likes to think about that.
Perhaps it’s pride, perhaps it’s social pressure, whatever the reason, we like to hide our disabilities. There seems to be a bit of understandable dishonesty in that. And those of us with invisible illnesses are probably the worst of all. We are both favored and disfavored by the invisibility of our illnesses. Because we can hide it–we do. But because we are ill–the affliction often shows itself whether we want it to or not in the way it shuts us down.
No one wants to be afflicted, and it can be hard to admit to affliction, but we aren’t fooling anyone, especially not ourselves. Call on the Lord for help, lean on Him and depend upon His strength in your afflictions, and be honest, both with yourself and everyone else, regarding your affliction.
Prayer: Dear Lord, how we hate affliction, give the courage to be honest about our weaknesses. Amen.
About the Author:
Karlton Douglas lives in Ohio with his lovely wife. He has suffered afflictions for many years and finds that the Lord strengthens him in spite of his weaknesses.
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Do you find it difficult to admit to weaknesses? Are you tempted to hide your afflictions?
“Are you tempted to hide your afflictions?” Oh, Lord, YES!!! The other day I dropped a full cup of very hot coffee into my lap in front of several people – fortunately, I wasn’t seriously burned, mostly embarrassed and had to walk around looking like I had peed in my shorts for the next 60 minutes. But inside I was pretty upset with myself because I knew that my nervous system had decided not to have my hand work at that moment, and all of the sudden I could not hold on to the cup. I have been having a some trouble this summer with my chronic condition suddenly asserting itself and I would much prefer to pretend that I am just like everyone else, whatever that is supposed to mean (if I really think about it, I don’t know). It makes me want to hide, isolate, and not inflict myself on anyone else because I perceive myself as a burden when I am more vulnerable. I have decided to take my usual approach and read about the emotional effects of chronic illness and what can be done to manage them – knowledge is power when I feel powerless over a situation! I am pretty sure this determination to help manage my own attitude towards my condition is a result of me telling God that I am feeling lost about the whole thing again and I could use some extra help coping in a positive manner.
Karlton: As I think of this challenge, I realize that a longing I have always had is to “fit in” with whatever group of people I happen t be with. Now I know that, as a servant of Christ’s, I must be willing to be in the world but not of it, which often means standing out as an oddball.
However, although I don’t think we need to feel obligated to tell everyone we know all the details of our condition, there are times we need to be open about it. Although we may fear the reaction of the other persons, we may also be giving permission to someone else to also be more honest about their struggles. It can be liberating for us and for others.
I could be wrong but I wonder if this isn’t harder for men than for women (on average).
Melanie: Thanks for sharing your feelings about this important subject. Because of the nature of a chronic illness and its unpredictabilty, our own attitude is, under God, all we can control. And it’s important in several ways. One is that it catches on for other people. That makes it more comfortable for all concerned.
It sounds like you’ve made a wise decision
Just close. I’ll be honest and say that I’m falling asleep iin front of the computer. 😉
This story struck me in a different way. Because the nature of our illness is one of looking normal, but feeling bad, I had tried hard to suck it up and fit in where I could-it was exhausting me! Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. So I began to share my illness with others, asking them to pray for me, my illness and all he struggles that go along with it. Seemed like at first, I got good results and support-but after a while, people got tired of hearing about it. They don’t understand the daily battle-that it never goes away, it is there, haunting your every sep. Once, at a church function A ‘friend’ asked me how I was doing, I was in a flare at that time and told her so-wih very few details. She just looked at me and said (very catily) “Well you know Teresa, that you’re not the only one with problems!” It floored me! I feel like she set me up to crush me. I, in turn asked how I could pray for her-but she never answered. Since then I’ve gone back to keeping things to myself, and people seem to avoid me like the plague! I’ve tried giving my testimony, showing and saying how far God has brought me, giving examples of times He’s rescued me, telling how He is always with us. My life verse has become 2nd Corinthians 1:3-5, and I try to walk that out, but it seems now that I’ve been labeled a hypochondriac, and very few will even talk to me. They want me to just ‘get over it’ and be healed already. I feel I’m even more alone than before! Melanie said it best about ‘wanting to hide, isolate and not inflict myself on anyone else’ because evertime I reach out-I am eventually rejected, and it hurts more than ever. Trapped, Stuck, Captive though innocent best describes me now. I trust NO ONE BUT GOD now. He alone is my shelter and resting place. When I am particularly hurting I pretend I’m very tiny and crawl into the wound in His side where it is warm and safe, and I can feel and hear His heartbeat. I had a vision once of being a sparrow in the palm of His hand, frightened and struggling to get away, and He places His other hand over the top of me until I stop panicking and struggling. He then removes His upper hand and I hop up onto His shoulder and sing a song into His ear. Someday I will do that, whether in time, or eternity, I do not know. Thanks all, for letting me ‘leak’ out a little of the pressure! Blessings to all~TK<3