I have Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and when people who are wearing perfume want to hug me they transfer their scent to my clothing! How can we let people know that their perfume is having the opposite intended effect on some people? That to someone with MCS, their perfume is about 20 times more intense and nauseating!
I’m not comfortable saying, “Hi there! No offense, but your perfume makes me gag! No, I can’t sit next to you!” If I were king, I’d lump perfume with cigarette smoke and ban it in public places! Sorry you perfume lovers– nothing personal. I am just trying to breathe and be healthy.
–Semi-silent sufferer, attending church on-line
Dear Semi-silent sufferer,
You are definitely not alone! Although many assume this is rare, unfortunately, approximately 14% of Americans (knowingly) have MCS.
I also live with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS). The term, “sensitivities” is not a good description of what these chemicals do to me. I get an instant, disabling migraine, vertigo, weakness or paralysis in my limbs, swelling of the brain, spasms in my spinal cord, nausea and horrific pain all over.
What’s more, anyone can develop MCS by way of every day use and exposure to chemical fragrances and/or a sudden large exposure. Continued exposures often lead to increased sensitivities.
In fact, a large portion of the population gets some sort of adverse health effects to perfumes or other synthetically fragranced products. Many do not make the connection to their headaches, fatigue and/or asthma type symptoms. By the time most people realize what is causing their symptoms, they are out of control and often debilitating and isolating.
It is good that we don’t tell others that their perfume makes us gag or sick, because such use of words often cause people to take it personally. However, we should be able to be honest and do what we have to do to not be exposed.
We can do so by simply saying, “I am so sorry, I would love to sit next to you, but I get bad headaches from perfume.” That way the symptom is from the perfume and not them and it is not tied to a visual of us turning our noses up at them.
Another way is to share resources with them. My husband is the Founder and President of a couple of great non-profit organizations that provide pamphlets and information that can be shared with friends, family, employers and churches.
- Why Go Perfume Free to Church? Where Is God Ministries
- Is Your Church Making People Sick? Where Is God Ministries
- Why Go Fragrance Free? Invisible Disabilities Association (IDA)
- Creating a Fragrance-Free Zone (Workplace). Invisible Disabilities Association (IDA)
- Interview with Dr. Anne Steineman (Audio). The Cleaner Indoor Air Campaign (Launched by IDA)
- Letter for Churches. The Cleaner Indoor Air Campaign (Launched by IDA)
- My Invisible Disabilities Community (social network for people living with illness, pain and injury – with an MCS Group)
I am so sorry you are living with this, as it can be extremely isolating. I hope you find these resources helpful!
Sherri Connell has used her personal tragedy of chronic illness and pain to bring awareness and to be a voice for people who are living with debilitating chronic illness through the Invisible Disabilities Association with her husband, Wayne.
Related articles
- What Do You Do About Co-Workers’ Strong Perfume? (bellasugar.com)
- More People Are Making Their Own Natural Perfume (bellasugar.com)
I don’t comment much, but this one strikes home. I’m allergic to many things. Too many to count, sometimes. But when they tried to treat my asthma with steroids years ago, we discovered steroids and I… don’t get along. For a while I was reacting to EVERYTHING. All the things I was more or less allergic to anyway and a host of others. The most serious lasting effect, however, is a continuing allergy to mint, menthol, and synthetic cinnamon. I have to differentiate because “brown” cinnamon, the spice you smell with apple pie and baking, is absolutely safe. But “red” cinnamon, the kind in gum, candy, etc. is absolutely NOT. We think the part I’m allergic to is the part of the molecule that is responsible for “making things feel fresh” – in mint and menthol (purified mint), it makes a “cool” feeling and in cinnamon it’s a “hot” feeling, but it’s affecting the same neural pathways. In any event, before it’s strong enough for me to smell, I start burning, coughing, wheezing, and my face starts to swell. Unfortunately, over time, my voice has become so damaged that I can’t sing alto anymore. Not that the second tenors mind; God seems to have allowed me to compensate by moving my remaining octave and a half down register. But it’s still hard to be so badly allergic to something so very, very common. And how am I supposd to tell people their breath mint is making me sick? Or their Vicks Vapor Rub in the winter? The ones who know me well enough have learned (mostly by seeing it live and getting scared). So – I totally understand. I can’t even go in a public place without having to be aware of things like airflow and exits so I can get away if I get near someone chewing gum. And one time I was attending a concert and had to listen from the lobby because there were clouds of mint around me and I couldn’t breathe so I had to leave my seat… It sure is a pain, isn’t it?
There are many people that have MCS and don’t even know why they feel horrible all of the time. My MCS developed in my late teens and has continued to get worse over the years. Perfumes, fabric softner, hair spray, exhaust fumes from car and trucks and other scented items give me migraines, joint pain, and so on. I find I avoid crowds, malls, weddings, and other social events because I get a migraine within a couple of minutes of being exposed to irritants. My girls have to put on fingernail polish outiside year around, they can’t wear perfume, and they’re friends have to go perfume free at my house, but many still come with the smell of fabric softner, or cigarettes n their clothing from smoking parents and I end up having a two day migraine. I order all of my birthday, Christmas and other things on-line to limit my time in stores. Except for guests that come to our home, I normally never discuss having MCS. Most people don’t understand the intensity of this disorder because most of the time you look healthy. I really hate having to hold my breath for several feet to get past people smoking on sidewalks or in front of grocery stores, and other businesses… I can’t imagine even being migraine free for one week, I’ve had migraines since I was a young child, so I’m pretty certain my MCS actually started at a very young age from over exposure to chemicals. I’m thankful that more companies are coming out with perfume free detergents and paraben free shampoo, rinse and other healthy products.
I do not per defenition have MCS but I got asthma to chems, and perfume is one of the worst to inhale along with among other tobacco. So you are not alone. And you can sure tell people to not hug you if they are wearing perfume. But a good thing maybe is to refrase it and not use the word gag. 🙂
Hi, I too have MCS and all GAIN and FEBREZE products are my triggers to a severe reactions that lasts up to a year. Perfumes, colognes, and aftershaves delete my energy, immune system, and cause me migraines and/or vomit. Air fresheners definitely a no-no. Plus, just about any products that are new and have petroleum, solvents or synthetic chemicals are toxic to my system. So, I understand how difficult it is to advocate and try to make friends. My family is wonderful and so are my close friends. I lost friends as they choice products that do me harm over my health condition.
I am advocating in a small town and some people are close minded and ignorant. Plus, currently they are using bullying tactics as I just made a movement in getting the Community Centre scrent-free – fragrance-free. Lets just say that right now I’m in a tough situation that I do not wish to be in but I hope one day they will understand that this is not personal, a control tactic, or other negative motives, its just about survival and hopefully allowing others like me to get out of their homes to have a place to go to socialize. Hang in there, what we do – we also do for others – and one day someone will benefit but don’t expect a thank you. You are not alone, and there are others that are trying to do their best so that you and I can have a little socialization without getting harmed. Hang in there and take care of you health. I hope in 2012 people will make healthier choices like tree nut soap (no plastics, little weight, it comes to the door, and can be used 5 to 6 times in the wash and then composted – so no garbage. Dryer balls, woolen balls, static-eliminators can be used up to over 100 times vs toxic dryer sheets or fabric softeners are the healthiest choices for our environment. Also vinegar, borax, baking soda, and salt for cleaning not only saves you money, it also helps to save the environment. Stay safe – stay healthy and breathe!
I can SO relat. The dr. I was going to but has retired had a poster in the waiting room ….no perfumes please. I am allergic to clorox. Causes pvc’s to my heart. Lysol spray, diesil and gas fumes cause great gastric upsets for me, as does RAID! I would just explain nicely and i do about ANY smells. God bless you. Thanks for sharing.
These chemicals can affect everyone. Nearly 25% of chemicals found in fragrances used in everyday products (soaps, shampoos, air fresheners, laundry, etc) are listed as toxic and/or hazardous waste under at least one law. These chemicals are neuro-toxins, immuno-suppressants, hormone blockers and/or known carcinogens. They affect organs, cells and tissues.
People develop chemical sensitivities from exposure to the chemicals. It can happen to anyone suddenly or over time.
Many people have symptoms, but don’t make the correlation (fatigue, headaches, low immune, hormone imbalance, depression, mood swings, IBS and more). Some may not have noticeable reactions, but develop other health issues down the road. 🙁
Even if just one person were affected, Jesus said, “’Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me’” (Matt 25:45).
We should think twice if someone gets ill or can’t attend church because we are using something that is not a necessity. “…there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it;” (1 Cor 12: 25 & 26).
Yet, going without perfumes for a couple hours during church should not really be considered suffering. A small inconvenience, maybe. 🙂
My mom is very sensitive to chemicals like perfumes. In fact, it’s worse for her, because she has lupus, so when she’s around someone wearing perfume her kidneys start to shut down, and she has to take prednisone. She doesn’t get out of the house much, though she loves going to events at things like church and she always used to love shopping, but so many people wear perfume and it’s hard for her. Whenever I meet someone who is wearing perfume I very politely inform them about my mother’s sensitivity, and tell them not to go near her. Usually they aren’t insulted but say they are so sorry and that they had no idea anyone could be allergic to perfume. I had no idea the number of people affected this way was as high as 14% though. Hopefully the rest of the population will realize and at least certain public places like churches can become perfume-free. I know everyone knows cigarette smoke is unhealthy yet people smoke all over the place anyway, but at least people don’t smoke in churches, so hopefully the kinds of people who attend church can realize what problems they are causing people and not wear perfume to church!
It started with RAID. I had huge headache after exposure. After that I started feel it with SUAVITEL fabric softener. Then later in other fabric softeners like SNUGLE. What is very interesting I was usually buying SNUGLE from STOp&SHOP, then once I purchase it from regular DELI and smell hits me, I ran quickly to S&S and get all the older dated, non-toxic for me bottles – thus UNILEVER must change some ingredients.
Other UNILEVER products such as AXE shampoos doesn’t hurt. I notice there must be something in smell encapsulates (smell extenders) that hurts me, any “perfum'” or softeners guaranteed to smell more than a day is bad for me. AND for last CAR SCENTS – headache guaranteed in lest than 10 sec. Can smell it just following a car with open windows stuffed with “TOXIC TREES”, especially “BLACK ICE” and “NEW CAR SCENT” – a #1 torture for me.
PS: I have no problem with skunk, rotten egg, or old bad garbage smell – it’s not a pleasure but it doesn’t hurt.