“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:38)
“Mom, what a rip off,” my son said as he opened the pag of potato ships and saw the bag was barely half full. “I know,” I explained. “That is how they deceive you into thinking you are getting more, with the big bag. But see, you have to look at the weight on the bag to really know how much you are getting.”
How many times we have gone after something, a dream, a material item, even a friendship, and then we discover our “bag” is only half full. The inside is not nearly as promising as the outside tries to convince us.
Thankfully it is not this way with God. He tells us to give–give generously even! And then it will be given to us. “It” is whatever you need it to be at that moment in your life. When we give, we may give a fair amount, but when God gives back to us, His gifts will be a good measure. It will be pressed down, like when you try to fit as much of something into a bag as it will hold. Just like the generous merchants at e market, our portion will be shaken together so there are no pockets of air. And then our portion will even run over the edge, so much that it will be poured into your lap.
Have you ever indulged in a Slurpee at 7-Eleven? You fill up the cup, then you shake it and pound it on the counter top to get the air out and let it settle so you have room for more, and then you add one of those bubble lids, so you can get more Slurpee than the cup will hold, because, with this lid, it can run up over the edge.
You cannot ever out-give God. When we have barely a breath to speak, or the energy to walk across the room, if we try to give, God will reward us. That doesn’t mean it is easy. I have had God-ordained conversations with people that have exhausted me. I have seen God orchestrate divine appointments with a stranger, and I didn’t have the energy then to make dinner for my family. yet, God’s promises are true, and we may be gifted back something far greater than the energy just to make dinner.
Stay encouraged . . . And give. You will quickly discover He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed (Proverbs 11:25)
Prayer: Lord, I know You take delight in giving me gifts. I like to give gifts too. Gifts of my time, gifts of encouragement, even little sparkly gifts that make someone smile. Yet, when I give, I am always weighing the costs. What will it cost me financially, how much of my strength, what about my time? Thank You for being a God who never weighs Your gifts, but rather One who gives freely and generously. Teach me to be this kind of giver, and trust that You will then provide for all my other needs.
About the author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.
You can now read this on your Kindle. Find out more at http://TodaysDevotionOnKindle.com
Do you enjoy giving but find yourself weighing the cost of your gift to your body, health, time, or energy? What would happen if, even when you didn’t really feel like it, you gave anyway? Do you think God would restore what you gave?
Everyday I weigh out how much energy projects will take. When I get to my empty line I am totally spent and I have to stop everything or I get sick. To honor God in the vessel I live in I have to be careful. What that means is that I have to plan Selah times–times to stop and reflect, rest. I also have to build in time between projects to complete what I have to do or I get overwhelmed, stressed, and I cannot keep it all in my head and do it well.
This is absolutely true…..giving is so rewarding, that is makes bearing what we bear, a little easier. That is one of my main griefs! I loved having people over, cooking, getting up and giving the Lord my time. The little ones (now my grown children) were used to going to nursing homes, and other places of people who needed help. They felt the same “high” as I did.
But, in 15 seconds, that world we lived in – ENDED. With an auto accident, comes invisible disabilities, with then comes advice, sermons, and assumptions….which are all not completely on track. Job’s friends. Good advice, but for the wrong person. Someone had to tell me that, before my head went under the quicksand.
Now, I’ve learned that making a phone call to someone ill, can make all the difference in their world. Because a phone call or leaving a message goes a long way in mine. I am ahead of some in their grief process, and so it is a privilege to be able to comfort them with “I had those thoughts, too”. SHOCK? YOU DID? Yes, I didn’t want to live, and it isn’t high on my list, but God has different plans.They aer shocked, yet comforted. ” You have so many friends, it must be nice to have so much support.” SHOCK – I USED to have lots of friends, but now, I can count true friends on 1/2 of a hand.. WHAT? Yes, when illness comes that isn’t understood, and you stop doing what you are known for, then how do others respond? A llittle handful comes forward, because they remember “me”, and now see “me”, and realize something is terribly wrong. Because of their heart, and their experiences of life, and compassion that God has been able to put in their heart, they grieve with me. With my husband. With my children. The lose that we all need to talk about to come to the point acceptance. But who wants to talk, and talk and talk? The pouring out of devastation in our life, that they have seen. The actions of children who need someone to listen. Their fears, my fears, husband fears…..each, with our own, yet clamming up, because of, I quote from a child, “lack of interest”. I tried to hide everything from them, and my husband. To not remember growing up with a mother who was in pain and couldn’t do what other mother’s could. To not put stress on my husband, other than what was obvious. Head injuries bring lost of lost files, and he filled in the gaps to keep the home fires burning.
How do you change your thinking of what life used to be, and what it is now…in the blink of an eye? How can one go through this without going through the grief process? And how does one come out whole without human care and love? Only, by the grace of God. Only by the grace of God to bring someone who can handle things, and allow grieving to begin. To give Charles breaks, and have the house under control. His hands were full…suddenly thrown from breadwinner to breadwinner and Mr. Mom without a lot of knowleged on how schedules went, etc…
A man, who was and is, thought highy of, coped alone, without a kind voice to talk too or to pour out his fears and frustrations. God was there, as usual.
I felt guilty of not being what I was and should be to those in need. Yet, how do you explain? How do you tell them why they have been left in a moment in time? And that someday, I will be back? (denial on my part!)
“BUT YOU LOOK SO GOOD”. Yes, I was raised to rise and get dressed for the day, and to be ready for what is planned. So many years, I did this, and God didn’t ask, because He knew. But I saw needs, and satan made me feel guilty for not doing “my part”.
Some began the journey with us through the grieving process….but it was perceived as being negative, and wrong assumptions were said and thought. The pulling away. More grief. I couldn’t stop the flow of much needed words. They were stuck in my throat for a long time. But they were thawing, and letting loose, and coming out. friends and relatives flead. It’s only grief….and talking over and over is grief, a big part of the process. But, it was stopped eventually, as it’s so tiring to explain why you are feeling a certain way, and while you need to talk, it isn’t forever. “Don’t be so negative”, “do for others and you will get your thoughrs off yourself”, “think positive”,
All the same words we all have heard. These are things that will come, but first the step in grieving the lose of “me”, who I was, what made me, ME. And helping my family with these issues. The hurt, the loss, the words said that were cutting, ALL must come out, before you fill your vessel with tolerable thinking that make others comfortable.
The lose of parents, first with their mind, and then with death. The loss of dogs who were my constant companions….I never thought of that as a significant loss, until I began reading of pain and losses, and how they are stacked on top of each other,, making pain much more unbearable.
I was surprised to hear of a loss of a home was a significant loss. YES! But, I didn’t allow that grieving, because it wasn’t something necessary to grieve over. The home we raised our children in – it was a loss to them. They were heartbroken to discover we had to sell the house. Picturing their children enjoying the same things they enjoyed. A large 4/2, with land. Now, a beautiful condo in a beautiful area with everything at our finger tips. And close to husbands work, which we have been thankful for so many times. Taking the stress of a home, and downsizing to a 2/2, giving away things that meant something, yet has no use in eternal life. True, we understand that, but as humans, it is a process of grief. So we handled by not thinking of that era in our life. Slowly blocking it out. Leaving comfortable neighbors who helped each other – for 20 years or so. It HAD to be done, but another loss, push aside, because it’s not necessary to grieve, or at least not longer than the alloted time given by others.
Children rebelling, and losses there. A divorce – and being the first of a large family of long marriages. Feeling like a failure, and now, a time when things are “quiet” and not discussed. A loss for all, along with the child. A double loss, as the parent losses one child forever. Grieving with your child, yet realizing you can’t let out all the grief to another.
Stacking griefs on top of each other, mixes with pain at a 6 to 8, lack of care from doctors, advice on miracle cures, letting others know of needs, and….. turning away. A loss of certain expectation of care. Simple things…never expecting anything large. Going to the store? We have a list, also. Going somewhere for a while? Maybe I could be dropped off for a treatment or massage? Occasionally, fixing extra food for two, when cooking for your family. There is no idea how much stress little “gifts” relieve.
Express your grief? You are selfish. No, not selfish, but needy, and trying to keep the stress down for my caretaker and husband.
Missing church, missing people, missing fellowship. Asking for visits, asking for fellowship. But we all know the answer, as we’ve heard it over and over. “I’m busy”. Life goes on, wash needs washing, house needs cleaning, yard needs mowing…..yes, we lived in that world, too. Once, a friend asked what people said, and I just said “they are busy”. She asked, “how do you feel about that”? What could I say? I wouldn’t say it. I said, “life is busy, I understand”. Her answer was, “but I know you did it, and you were busy, too, so it hurts, right”? Yes, it hurts, but each have different organizational skills, so I try not to condem. I remember the children askng one time when I was very sick with the flu, “Mom?, Why do we have to go help others when they are sick and in need, but when you are sick or we have needs, no one comes”? How do you answer that, and not put something negative in their lives. After pondering a moment, I said “Because some don’t know what is going on, and some don’t realize there is a need, and some don’t ask, to really know. But it doesn’t mean they are bad, but it is an example to us of how we need to search and look around for those that have a need, and is perceived as “having it all together”!
It brought me joy, as my daughter would take her friends to the nursing home and visit those in our church who were there. They sang, and talked, and left an older person happy. My son was known to “date” 80 year olds! He called and asked to pick them up for church or an outing. All dressed up, and feeling so happy, they had a date with a 20 year old! 🙂 But, who really got the REAL joy? The children,. In giving, they received something that couldn’t be understood.
Doing for others is addicting – know matter how small or big. One lady sends me cards and letters. She can hardly take care of herself. They mean so much to me and others. But who gets the most joy? Her, because of our joy.
What hurts the most, is when this is done quietly, with much energy put into what ever you are doing, and then someone assumes, and says, “You would feel so much better if you didn’t think of yourself all the time, and thought of those less fortunate. Doing for others, will take your mind off of yourself.”
Really? Wow! But as the Bible says, don’t tell what you have done for others, as. your reward is in heaven. Another assumption, another hurt, another grief think that others would tell you that, without really knowing if it’s true. Many times pan flares come because of a choice of putting another first, or thinking of them, and spending time doing what needs to be done at that time. “Don’t go shopping, that will make you have more pain”. Possibly, but maybe there are things I need for someone else. “Shopping” can mean many things, including dr. visits, etc… Those who have lived with us any length of time, realize how “off” critical people are. And how critical people just put another blow to our head, and push us further into the sand.
Everyone has their own sturggles and Goliath’s. Being kind to all, will help those battles be won. Just one unkind word, can send someone who is in pain or deep distress, over the edge. We don’t have suicide numbers for the heck of it. I’ve known someone who tried, but didn’t work. All because of something that coujld have been done and said in a much kinder spirit. That is a LESSON for ME!
Never judge a book by it’s cover – even if its been through a storm!
Lisa: Yes, I do try to be realistic and wise about how much I take on. And yet, there are times when I sense a little nudge from the Lord and stop to listen to someone, to send a note. etc. despite the fact that I know it will cost me.
I know that I need to take care of myself in order to be able to care for others. But I do not want to make that a god. Jesus told us to love God with all our beings, and our neighbours as ourselves.
I pray that I will understand this better and better as my life unfolds and be obedient to His leading and not just my own ambitions.
Thanks Lisa
Thank you Lisa for this post! This is something I struggle with since I became ill 12 years ago. I had always been the giver, the counselor to friends and family. Getting sick taught me to accept help and ask for it. I grieved not being able to do all the things I used to do for others – I had to leave my job as a pediatric psychologist (in training), hand over my leadership roles in the church and get out of the “spotlight” of being a speaker and teacher. It was humbling and God totally revamped my view on what it meant to give to others. I learned that being present, slowing down and really looking around I could meet the needs of those around me in small ways that make a big impact. During my sabbatical from work/school during one of my sickest times, I spent each afternoon on a bench outside my apartment building with an elderly couple – a wife with alzheimers and a husband lonely and afraid. I was going slow enough to see the checker at the grocery store had sad eyes and needed an encouraging word. Little acts of giving that no one but God noticed. It purified my motives. I still struggle with balancing giving to others outside my home and guarding my health so I can be a wife and mother. It’s a tough balance.