What happens when your ill husband can no longer do or be all that he was before? Does it change your love? No, you look for God’s mercies that are new every morning.
I Heard a Bird Sing
I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December
A magical thing
And sweet to remember:
“We are nearer to Spring
Than we were in September,”
I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December.
by Oliver Herford
Winter and summer are my husband’s least favorite seasons. I have an ill husband. Although his immune system is perpetually low, he always seems to hit his lowest in the winter. I have to fight against personal dread of the winter due to this. Knowing the Father of mercies, I am always on the hunt for the new “mercy of the day.”
Sometimes those mercies seem sparse. My mom half teasingly, half seriously, said recently that my life verse seems to be “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”
Circumstantial evidence would prove her words correct. My husband currently has a staph infection while his doctor’s office is in chaos due to a move. Finances are tight due to my missing a week of work and having to repair our car. The news stated that gas prices could reach $5 a gallon this summer. The list gets more overwhelming the more I think about it.
As the caregiver of a chronically ill husband, it would be easy to walk around with an “Eeyore” complex (from Winnie the Pooh). My head down and tail dragging. My church’s Sunday’s sermon on prayer was especially relevant to our circumstances. Asking rightly and receiving answers to prayer will bring fullness of joy. What motivation to pray for those mercies!
In the middle of a lament over dire circumstances, these bold and beautiful words appear in scripture, “Because of the Lords’s great love we are not consumed. They are new every morning; for His compassions never fail. Great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) I agree with the bird of Herford’s lovely little muse, “We are nearer to Spring than we were in September.”
Christine Daniels was following her doctor’s orders when she set out to find a support group for Christian caregiving wives. After six years of living with a chronically ill husband, she was beginning to experience health issues herself. She found the HusbandWithIllness online support group at Rest Ministries. After being a silent listener for a while, she was motivated to begin blogging about her own experiences. With the Lord’s help, she hopes to be a source of comfort. The goal of her blog is to provide encouragement, support, and hope to other sisters in Christ. Visit her blog at Christian Caregiving Wife
We are currently putting together a list of websites/blogs/articles for women and men who are caregivers for their chronically ill spouses. If you would like to have yours listed, please post a brief summary of the site and your link in the comments below. Thanks! Lisa
MY HUSBAND IS THE CAREGIVER. FOR THE 1ST 5 YRS OF OUR MARRIAGE, HE WAS IN DENIAL OF MY EVEN HAVING CFS, OR HE BELIEVED I WOULD GET BETTER! ”JUST HAVE TO BE POSITIVE”! THIS LAST YEAR I’VE BECOME WORSE AS FAR AS MOBILITY & BEING ABLE TO DO MUCH OF ANYTHING BECAUSE I HAVE VERY LITTLE ENERGY. HE HAS PRETTY MUCH TAKEN OVER ALL THE HOUSE WORK & IS FINALLY ACCEPTING I DO INDEED HAVE A CHRONIC ILLNESS. HE’S NOT A NURSE & GETTING MEALS IS NOT HIS THING AT ALL, BUT HE IS TRYING & IS MUCH MORE HELPFUL & UNDERSTANDING. IN SOME WAYS, IT’S SO MUCH HARDER FOR MEN, AS WOMEN ARE USUALLY BORN CAREGIVERS.