“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
I handle chronic illness pretty well most of the time, but then something jolts me. This time it was a silly comic strip–Funky Winkerbean, 10/8/12.
In it Les, the main character, pulls out a video cassette recording his late wife Lisa made for him. Lisa died of cancer in 2007 and made many tapes for Les and his daughter to view at pivotal moments in their lives. The caption said “If you are watching this you obviously did not wait 30 years to remarry.”
This got me thinking for several days about my own marriage. I have been with my husband since we were teenagers, married nearly 24 years. We are fortunate. Many marriages fail in everyday life and chronic illness puts extra strains on a marriage.
I have been thinking about mortality and while my illness is not terminal, I have to wonder if all the medicine I take or the wild swings in my heart rate and blood pressure will eventually be my demise. Will I live a long life or leave my husband a widow at a young age? My original thought when diagnosed was that I wanted to get my children, ages 9, 14 and 17, to adulthood. Now I wonder if my husband and I will get to our golden years together–it is a daunting thought.
Love is pretty amazing. My heart has been opened tremendously through this illness and I want the best for the ones I love. If that means someday I may not be in their lives I want them to move on; continue to seize joy every day; and not fear what the days will bring.
Prayer: Dear God, thank You for helping me open my eyes to all the love that surrounds me. Thank You for the family and friends. Bless the families that deal with illness Lord as the stressors that are dealt with are vast. Amen.
About the author:
Laura Seil Ruszczyk lives in New York with her husband and three children. She is writing a book about her struggles with dysautonomia, a neurological condition which affects the autonomic nervous system. October is Global Dysautonomia Awareness Month. For more information go to dinet.org.
Do you ever worry if you will have a long life? How do you cope with these questions or worries without becoming to obsessed in them and missing out on the blessings you do have?
This video is a real tear-jerker, but it also touches on so many parts of life. This is a trip through the lives of a couple in the Pixar movie, “Up.” If you think, “Oh, a cartoon will never touch me,” take a minute to watch this one. -Lisa