Do you ever wonder “Where is God in my weakness!?” Fiona shares about the day this verse took on new meaning.
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
The Lord has been bringing this scripture to my heart over and over again. It seems no matter where I turn, He brings it up to me. Up until today I would have done anything–taken any pill, allowed any surgery to happen–just to get my life back to where it used to be. To be able to return to “normal” was my only goal in life. But that was up until today.
Today, something has changed within me.
Before today, I have been bemoaning the fact to everyone who would listen of how awful it is that I’m ill and in pain, which resulted in my having to close my counseling practice. I was constantly on the search for the road back to wellness. But something has changed in my spirit today and I would like to share that with you, especially those of you who really struggle with your illness and pain.
I’ve been doing these devotionals, as well as my blogs, not just out of the desire to help others but also out of the need to be doing something–anything. I had hoped these endeavors were to keep me going emotionally and mentally until I could return to a “normal life.” But the Lord is showing me that thisis what He has called me to do.
That it is through my weakness that He can finally reach others, without “me” getting in the way. Needless to say, it has been a very humbling day for me.
I feel like He is giving me a choice right now: Do I want to be well again and resume my past life. . .or do I willingly surrender to His will? If it means possibly remaining sick and in pain for an unknown period of time? If it will allow Him to use me to bring Him greater glory and minister to others who need to hear what He wants to tell them?
My flesh, of course, wants to regain its full health. However, my spirit knows that this life is fleeting and only what is done for God will last. Can I honestly choose my own happiness over the opportunity of helping others who are struggling?
I have decided I cannot. I could not live with myself knowing that I had chosen my own good over the good of others.
I know this goes against what we’re taught and what we hope for. Please re-read the above scripture verse. God is making it perfectly plain to us that He can use us better when we are weak and that His power will be released. Being used by Him is not an easy road, but the blessings I have been receiving lately have been so numerous they have brought me to tears–tears of JOY.
In my previous life before becoming ill, I never experienced this type of joy. Any joy I experienced was fleeting and short-lived, but this joy touches me in places I cannot even begin to describe. I can say with the Psalmist, “It is well with my soul.” Even though physically I am not where I would prefer to be, my soul is the happiest it’s been in my entire life!
Prayer: Heavenly Father, I thank You that you are using me in my weakness to help others who are hurting. Help me to surrender all the more as I know that this is when You are able to work through me. Amen.
About the author:
Fiona Burky is a retired Licensed Clinical Counselor who lives in Ohio. It is only by God’s grace and strength that she has been able to endure her multiple health issues. You may view her blog at: http://fionab-growingbeyondyourpainfulpast.blogspot.com
Do you recall a time when, despite the pain, God’s purpose suddenly seemed more obvious to you? How did this feel? What would you tell someone who is hurting who hasn’t received this affirmation from God yet?
When you feel like giving up, turning to music is a wonderful way to guide your heart back to where it can be refreshed at the Lord’s feet. Hillsong sings “I Surrender” live. You will feel like you are only Holy Ground as you sit here at your computer.