If you are a sick mom who lives with a chronic illness, do you ever wonder how other moms do it all and still smile?
WEGO Health asks for their daily writing challenge “I don’t know about this, but I’d like to” I chose to write about parenting when ill. I would like to know how moms hold it all together. Day #3.
“There were two things about Mama. One is she always expected the best out of me. And the other is that then no matter what I did, whatever I came home with, she acted like it was the moon I had just hung up in the sky and plugged in all the stars. Like I was that good.” The Bean Trees: A Novel by Barbara Kingsolver
Illness. . . and children–our role as a parent.
Most people have just one of these challenges. They parent. Or they are ill. Or they were parents of young kids; now, with adult children, they deal with being ill. The adult children take care of them. Teach them how to use an iphone to keep their medical records. How to call in the pharmacy and order meds without talking to someone.
But some of us are parents now, of younger ones. And we are ill. And we are tired. We are a sick mom.
How do you find energy out of depletion?
How do you find patience when you cannot tie a single knot to hold on any longer?
How do you smile at your child, act like he hung the moon, when he is screaming, “You are the meanest mom in the world!”–because you reminded him to brush his teeth.
How to you tie his shoes when your fingers barely bend but your child begs you to help him since he likes them so tight they cut off his circulation?
How do you not cringe when your daughter says all the other moms are making their ballet tutus and she had to buy hers? (The horror.)
How do you open the lids? Pick up the legos? Clean up the dog hair, and other . . . dog . . . stuff? How do you make 2 meals so everyone eats–and you don’t have to go back to the hospital for more food therapy?
How do you deal with all the comments and advice and simple ideas when your child is different–and has his own issues–and no one knows how hard it really is?
How do you . . . how do you. . .how do you . . . when you are a sick mom?
I write. I pray. I blog. I talk. I try. I pray some more. I question. I call. I share. I pray some more. I hope. But I still feel like I don’t know what I am doing.
Some days are miraculous. Some days are a messy disaster. Some days are easy. Most days are not. SOME DAY it will all be worthwhile–the discipline, the counseling, the conversations, the daily grind. But there are no guarantees. The world is so strong, the culture so overpowering, the emotions so fragile to the children in our life. Their spirit is so precious. I really–really–wish I didn’t have to be a sick mom. I wish I had more to give. To offer. But I trust God knows what He is doing.
If you are a sick mom, I invite you to join me as I am working on a book for chronically ill moms that is faith-based. You can be a part of our encouragement, feedback team, and meet other moms at our Facebook page Moms with Illness.
As I write this book, I learn. I try. I practice. I experiment. I pray my struggles will some day bless others. Because we all want the very best for our kids. We want to be the best. We just aren’t sure exactly where we run dry and God takes over.
Lisa’s book Why Can’t I Make People Understand?: Discovering the Validation Those With Chronic Illness Seek and Why is a wonderful journey through the emotional struggles we have about the misconceptions of those with chronic illness and how we should feel as well as we look. “It’s life-changing!” #NHBPM