What is the Five Week Challenge? Diane shares how commitment isn’t the norm for the friends of those who are ill.
“He remembers His covenant forever, the promise He made, for a thousand generations.” (Psalm 105:8)
How good are you at staying committed to something?
I have a dear friend who also is chronically ill. We have had many discussions over the fifteen years that we have been friends about how grateful we are that God put us together. We have each made a point of reaching out to one another consistently, either by calling, visiting, or now texting, in order that we would continue to nurture our relationship. We have made a commitment to one another.
We have often talked about the fact that we have passed the “Five Week Challenge” What is the Five Week Challenge, you may ask? This is our own little timeline she and I had half-joked, half-seriously discussed about as the amount of time before individuals stop contacting you when you are chronically ill.
We have found that most people (not all–there are exceptions), such as friends, acquaintances, or church members, usually do not have the staying power to continue relationships with a chronically ill person that lasts past the five week point.
That’s not to say that they don’t try or don’t intend to. It is just that many do not know how to deal with someone who does not get well, when prayers seemingly go unanswered. They run out of things to do or say when they call. This often leads to a gradual reduction in their contact until the contact is very rare or none at all.
Until the last ten months, my life with chronic illness was one in which I would still have some points of recession, and could enjoy opportunities of feeling well, allowing for outings and activities at various intervals. But that has not been the case now for the past ten months. In this time God has shown me a new truth of the Five Week Challenge in my own life.
Yes, the typical loss of contact has occurred, but more importantly, God has opened my own eyes to my own lack of commitment to others. Though I am usually committed to praying for those who I feel I have a kindred spirit with, those who suffer with illness, He has asked me how committed am I to pray, call, and show my concern when I myself am struggling?
Or how willing and committed am I if it isn’t a health concern at all? One may be having a financial or an emotional burden. Does that make it any less important? No!
God has assured me, in every circumstance I/we must continue to be faithful, to be committed to those He calls us to love, support, and pray for. How kind He is and gracious to show me that the very thing that can sometimes cause me pain and hurt feelings, I too am guilty of. But being a God who is merciful, He gently uses every circumstance to show me how to learn and grow, that I might become a better example of His love to others.
Prayer: Dear Father, Thank You so much for the gentle way you teach us; for Your never ending covenant with us. I know, Lord, that You will always far surpass the five week challenge; help me, Lord, to be committed to showing Your love and faithfulness to others. Amen.
About the author:
Diane Kalata lives in Florida. She has three grown children, and a wonderful husband who offers much support. She enjoys leading a women’s bible study group as well as a chronic pain and illness support group. She enjoys art and writing as well. She is a colon cancer survivor, but deals with chronic digestive illness and pain. But her greatest joy is encouraging and sharing with others all that God has done in her life and continues to do.
Have you had people in your life who have stuck around past the Five Week Challenge? How does it make you feel when someone commits to being a part of your life, even though it is challenging?
There will always be people who disappoint us, because only God can fulfill all of our needs. And we will disappoint others. . . But that doesn’t mean we cannot try our best to reach out to others! Our experiences can always be used to offer others the compassion we ourselves would appreciate. I love this song by Brandon Heath, “Give Me Your Eyes.” He sings about how He wishes He could have the eyes of God for just a few seconds so he could be able to see who was hurting deeply and the people who need encouragement who he keeps missing. Beautiful song! -Lisa
I’ve discovered, too, that you just lose friends altogether. They get “tired” of praying for you–they expect a quick fix. And then they ask how you are, and if you’re not better, they act a bit angry at you for letting them down. Their faith, like their friendship, is not deep enough to handle reality. The blessing in chronic illness, though, is that the friends that stick around are the true friends you know you can count on, and that they can count on you. The chaff blows away and leaves the good seed behind!
April what an excellent observation. I agree, I have found this also to be true. It is sad in some reapects but also strengthening in others, the reault of the chaff as you put it is that those people usually are true prayer warriors. Willing to accept whatever path God has chosen for you and to be a part of walking that path with you. It is good to have those people in our lives. Thankfully God allows me/us to be faithful in prayer for them also, to be a support for others. For we don’t have to be healthy or mobile to pray.
Thank you so much for taking time to read and encourage us. Blessings diane
My love is from India, and a Christian. She accepts me as I am, and I her. God love her.
I hear all the time but you don’t look sick! Or your on using a cane? Did you fall? No I did not fall just my legs don’t want to work right today maybe tomorrow they will who knows but God. I find all of these questions or statement very funny, I have been ill for over 25 years and I have good days out of months at at a time and I only have family and my preacher as friends any more. no one calls! Yes I have depression but not from lack of friends, just from pain. I go to God for most of my support. My advice to any anyone with a chronic illness is to get right with God.
Debi that is definitely very good advice. For with God we absolutely know the response we will receive. He always listens and cares. Loves without judgment and can truly understand our pain. I’m very sorry to hear though that you do not have friends who are supporting you , and that you have had to deal with chronic illness and pain for such a long time. I hope that you find some support here on RM though it may not be close by there are many here who are in your same situation desiring to find support and prayer. I don’t know if you have cked out any of the groups on sunroom but perhaps you can find an encouraging one there. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Feel free to contact me anytime through my sunroom page for prayer or just to talk. Blessings and peace to you Diane
Soooo many thoughts as I was reading this Diane. Thanks for your great devotional. 🙂
I’m blessed to have a dear friend since 1984. We’ve walked through some very dark days together over the years. Me being there for her & her being there for me. She’s a single lady & all of her family are overseas. She’s been part of our family & like a surrogate auntie to my children.
When I became ill, she started coming over once every week or 2 to do the little things in the house that my family of men just don’t see……the girly things. She’ll also create pretty displays for me to look at too, from my recliner. When most others have dropped away, this dear friend remains close. Praise God for the faithful friends that understand deep commitment, love & loyalty. How wonderful for your dear friend too. Lotsoluv Kerryn