When wondering how your illness will impact your children, S.L. reminds us God is not surprised.
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).
My six-year-old son’s kindergarten class just celebrated 100 days of school by dressing up as 100-year-olds. We made him a beard, wrinkles, and he carried a cane. . . my cane and he was the only kid with one as an accessory.
I have honestly struggled with how my children’s lives are impacted because of my illness. Though I’ve had fibromyalgia for a long time, it still hits me hard when I see my kids affected. This isn’t the life I wanted for them: I wanted to play sports with them, teach them how to play guitar, and have lots of energy for them.
But, that is the life I wanted and not the life God wanted. Yes, the life I have hurts. It hurts incredibly, but if I truly believe what God’s word says, it is for His good plan. The Israelites, to whom this passage is written went through extremely difficult times. God was faithful even then and He is now to me and my kids.
This is the life God has for me and my family. Pain has a remarkable refining quality for our character and this has forced a lot of issues in our family that probably would have just been allowed to slide otherwise. Like my cane, it has given us a bunch of “accessories” for our characters: patience, gratitude, and empathy.
I used to focus on what my kids were missing and not what they are gaining. God’s plans sometimes hurt, but we grow. When the other day when my boys helped a lady with a walker in the grocery store pick up something, I realized that maybe they are getting something much better than the rest of the kids who don’t have a cane at home.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, please help us follow You and life the life You want for us. Give us the strength and courage to submit to You rather than holding onto our own desires for ourselves and our children. Thank you so much for being more concerned about our character than our comfort and for giving us hope and a future. Amen.
About the author:
S.L. Payne lives in North Carolina with her husband, three biological sons and foster daughter. She has had fibromyalgia since she was a little girl, but it thankful for God’s faithfulness. She loves writing, photography and laughing with her family. Her blog is The Proverbs 31 Project at adventuresofaneverydaygirl.blogspot.com where she hopes she can encourage others.
How has God used your illness to impact your children or family in a positive way for Him?
Being a parent means there are many days we must press on regardless of how our body feels or how our mind wants to rest. I hope you enjoy this song by Selah, “Press On.” When I heard it on the radio I made a point of writing it down to share with you. Those of us with illness press on every single day and not one moment goes unnoticed by our Father. -Lisa
S.L. – I loved reading your devotional and getting a peek into your family dynamics ( which I know are many more than you expressed here )!
Although none of us want the gift of suffering that has been put into our lives – that we can dig to extract what is the “gift” part of it is crucial. It is often said among comments left here and also in other devotionals how each writer – and reader – has had to draw closer to God to function, to stay nourished and not to become bitter.
The gifts you are displaying to your children are shaping them and instilling character ( as you expressed ) of many of the virtues that we “grown ups” are still grasping for at times! And there is empathy they will have for those who have outward difficulties that seen – as in your sons helping the lady with the walker.
And let’s face it, we are all God’s children and as such, we are to be alert to sharing these same character qualities within the venues where we find ourselves.
No matter how sick we feel, we are still his child and He is still instilling in us the gifts we need for ourselves and also what we can extend to others.
Lots to ponder here in your sharing. Thanks!
Love, Lynn
Thank you so much, Lynn! I definitely agree that we must draw closer to God in order to function! While the suffering isn’t fun, I am so thankful for the constant reminder that He is the vine and I am the branch. It can truly be difficult at times not to be bitter when we are in the midst of such pain, but you are right- there really is a gift in suffering like this. All things work together for His glory.
Thank you too for your encouragement with my family! I can honestly say it is incredibly humbling watching the kids seamlessly grasping these concepts that I struggle with. They have taught me so much and it makes me want to be a better mom- at least the best that I can be with fibro. God is good.
Hope you have a wonderful day!
-S.L.
Sleep, tks for sharing this little insight with us. What a precious gift God has given you in allowing you to see the growth He has inspired in your children through your illness. Though my children are now grown I still can see that gift in them, a heart of compassion which might not have been so evident had illness not been a daily part of our life. Oh how good to see Him living in those around us!
Thank you so much for sharing and inspiring us to continually look for God at work around us. Blessings, di
Oops that was SL, sorry auto correct strikes again!
Haha, Diane! Auto correct always makes me laugh 🙂 Thank you so much for your affirmation- I really appreciate it. I think that is wonderful that you see such a heart of compassion in your kids, especially that they are grown. That is hugely encouraging for me since our oldest is still young- only 8 and a half (he makes sure that I always add that half in there since he is so proud of it!) It is funny that what I thought was purely something detrimental to my kids has been used by God for their good and His glory. If my illness helps shape their characters for Him, I am grateful 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful day, Diane!
-S.L.
Great devotional S.L. & absolutely true! 🙂
I’ve often pondered whether changing our family dynamics by fostering our youngest son (with an intellectual disability) has negatively impacted upon my 2 biological sons.
Absolute truth is that it’s been more difficult for them. HOWEVER, they are ones who stick up for others with a disability & help them when they’re in need. They have a lovely heart for the disabled & have a friend that they support too with disabilities. He’s one of their closest friends & was over last night. They’ve also encouraged him to be one of the Youth Group leaders, by giving him tasks he’s good at. PRAISE GOD!
When other young guys in their teenage years often shun others with a disability, my sons would help them & befriend them. LOVE that! Soooo proud of them for that & thank God for it too.
So yes, your children are gaining qualities that are VERY precious. Hallelujah! God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
PS. I became very teary reading: “When the other day when my boys helped a lady with a walker in the grocery store pick up something, I realized that maybe they are getting something much better than the rest of the kids who don’t have a cane at home.” GORGEOUS! Sooooo precious to read that. What a blessing they are & what a great job you’re doing as a mom! Congrats. Lotsoluv Kerryn
This was such a blessing to me–thank you for sharing it, S.L. I had my first definite symptom of MS the day I found out I was pregnant with my second child (my older son was 3.) So my boys grew up with a mom dealing with MS and depression (and now I have other autoimmune illnesses and am a breast cancer survivor.) They are 21 and 25 now and have grown into very empathetic young men of whom I’m very proud. I always worried how my illnesses and the resulting divorce and poverty would affect them, but they have thrived, with the help of their father, stepmother and other friends and family. You’re doing the best job you can, I’m sure. God knows what He’s doing–the blessings of these illnesses ultimately outweigh the trials, although sometimes that’s hard to see when we’re in the thick of pain and illness. I’m even able to be a reasonably good grandma and if I were paralyzed, I’d still manage to be what he needed from a grandmother, shortcomings and all. Prayers for you as you raise your little blessings and thank you for the words of encouragement that I was able to take from your words, although I’m well past that phase in my life.
Kerryn, thank you so much! I got teary too when I saw them do that! It is incredible seeing how they are just aware of others’ needs and so humbling how they want to do things about it 🙂 I know that your kids are awesome at this and I hope that mine continue on the same trajectory and end up doing all yours do!
Kara, thank you so much for your thoughts 🙂 You sound so strong and are a great mom! I’ve come around to thinking that the typical “ideal” mom our culture idolizes isn’t necessarily all that it is cracked up to be- the moms that just make their kids’ lives easy and fun, but don’t focus on character building end up not helping their children out in the long run. You are totally right that God knows what He is doing with all of this and while we wouldn’t choose this kind of “character building” for our kids (and grandkids!), He uses it in great ways. I’ve always struggled with guilt over it, but there is something to be said for kiddos to see you doing all that you can, even if it isn’t very much. That is what God asks us anyway: to give whatever we have! It sounds like that is what you’ve been doing and that is wonderful! I’m so glad this encouraged you and I really appreciate your affirmation and encouragement for all that I am doing! I’ll keep you in my prayers!
-S.L.