If your illness is causing you to become more self conscious about your appearance?
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).
Because of my scleroderma, I have what is referred to as “mouse face,” and my fingers are puffy and shiny and look like sausages. Add to that the fact that they are blue most of the time (picture “Smurf hands”). People notice that something is wrong.
It isn’t a reflection of the person I am inside, and sometimes it makes me a little depressed.
Maybe your physical appearance is different because of your illness. Perhaps your joints are deformed, or medicine has given you some unwanted extra pounds, or you have to walk with a cane or can only get around in a wheelchair, which draws negative attention to you.
Most of us do not like negative attention, and let’s face it, it is probably because we like to have pride in our appearance.
Perhaps you have depression from another form of pride. Does some of the despair you feel result from not being able to rely on your own power? You want to be able to get up in the morning and do what you want to do, not what your ailing body allows you to accomplish that day.
You don’t want to be limited by God, especially when you have experienced years of self-sufficiency only to have that unexpectedly snatched away.
Pride in any form is not pleasing to God. He sees the beauty in you, and it isn’t the outside He is concerned about. It isn’t the real you. How many of us have known people who were beautiful on the outside, were drawn to them, only to discover they were not quality people on the inside?
God wants you to develop your beautiful soul and spirit. and sometimes He has to get rid of your pride for your true beauty to emerge.
Prayer: Lord God, help me to see if pride is the root of my depression, and help me to overcome it. Give me eyes to see what You see in me, and help me to be beautiful on the inside, so that people will be drawn to You. Amen.
About the author:
Julie Buckley was diagnosed with mixed connective tissue disease in 1995 (scleroderma, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus and polymyositis) along with fibromyalgia. She lives in the midwest with her husband and has a grown son. She also has a blog site called “Healthy Souls,” which encourages Christians to grow stronger through their physical weakness, http://jabuckle.wordpress.com/
Could God be breaking down your pride to make you more like Christ and develop your inner beauty?
We can try so hard to be picture perfect sometimes and then grow discouraged when we feel we don’t measure up to our own expectations. Amy Grant sings, “Don’t Try So Hard” in this sweet video that I hope you can apply to your own life in so many ways. Sometimes we can stop trying so hard and rest in God’s grace. -Lisa
God was certainly after my attention, and He got it,! From my first diagnosis to my current, through multiple Drs searching for that “right” connection. I am in awe of how much Peace and Calm it has brought to me and I have shared with many how a reliance, trust, belief in Him has been the central core of my life since that first day. God loves Me and You. Of that I have No Doubt! And that knowledge has made an immense difference in my life! Life isn’t perfect, but it is certainly much better than my every day before my illness just in teaching me to keep plenty of room in my life for Him!!
Mike, God certainly does have a way of getting our attention! I’m very happy to hear that God has been using you through your experiences. Thanks so much for your testimony of how God is working through your life. 🙂
Wow! Thank you Holy Spirit. When you stated “perhaps your depression is from another form of pride?” I deal with this a lot. I said out loud “wow, thank you Lord” I am about 60 pounds over weight than I was in high school (mainly because of health issues)…which was one of the only times I felt pretty, and was told I was so much prettier when I am thin. I am almost 6 feet tall so I can carry my weight a little better,but I am never satisfied with how I look. I asked the Lord to help me like myself the way I am. Plus I am an artist and I fear getting very good because of pride. Since I have such a low self esteem I don’t want pride in my life. This really spoke to me. I hope I didn’t blabber in my fog induced state today.
Sara, I am so glad you commented. I think there are so many people who can relate to what you have said. I honestly think pride is a universal problem in Christians, and it is very hard to overcome. Satan himself fell because of pride, and he uses it against us constantly. It is much easier to deal with when we recognize it in our own lives. Blessings!
Julie, thank you gir sharing such personal and reflective thoughts. You are so right on point here. This is a battle for me, both in physical and spiritual. AlwAys wanting to rely on self. But God makes ir so clear that’s mot His desire for me/ us. As I continue this road, praying I will resist that temptation, and trust in Him. Choosing to honor Him in all aspects of my life. Ty again. Blessings, di
Hi Diane! I, too, always want to rely on self, but God has shown me I cannot do that (the hard way). Your posts are always such an inspiration. Thank you!
Thanks so much for this devotion. I have stopped having my picture taken due to frustration with my appearance. Pride. I dislike going in public in a wheel chair. Pride. I thought I had accepted my disabilities but this devotion brought me to tears. Thank-you.
Lynn, sometimes people who comment are such a blessing to my soul. Thank you for your simple, heartfelt comments that ministered to me. Hugs!
Hi Julie!
How timely this is for me. I just got home from our small hospital today after hurting my back in sort of a freek accident. Until my hubby came for me I had only the rumpled clothes I’d arrived in. I thought of putting them on yesterday after many days in a hospital gown, but decided not to because of their appearance. What was that if not pride?
This morning a nurse woke me up and hustled me into them to go to a nearby dining room for breakfast. I didn’t see anyone staring at me and I had my meal without worrying about my appearance. I also wore them to the drug store and home. The sky did not fall and I was just grateful to be home.
I also want to mention that I’ve been dealing with this issue because of a “bald” spot in my hair on the crown that I’ve had trouble keeping covered for the last few years. I’ve been learning to be less concerned about my appearance but then I went and asked the Lord to help me to be more humble!! 😉
Julie, my heart goes out to you having the deformities you mentioned. May God give you a special reminder of His love and acceptance of you as you are in the next few days.
Humility is a beautiful and rare quality. God bless us all as He works it into our souls.
Beth, thank you so much for your comments! These devotionals are for me, too, as I struggle with pride every day. In writing this devotional, I had to look at my pride in the fact that my writer’s picture is one I really had to search for so I could look “normal.” I love what you said about “humility is a beautiful and rare quality.” You are right, in God’s eyes, we are beautiful when we are humble, no matter what we may look like on the outside.
P.S. I can relate to the hair issue. I am on medication that makes my hair fall out, and let’s just say my hair is not entirely my own. 😉
I can so relate too, Julie! Thanks.:)
Beth, gentle hugs & prayers for healing. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Julie, you look lovely in the photo. Just remember that God sees you as a 10+ on the inside because of Jesus’ amazing sacrifice!! And some day, you and all of His children will be more beautiful than we can imagine inside and outside!!
Thank You Lord!