Have you had a friend betray you in words or actions? Kerryn shares how to respond.
“For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, took bread, and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, ‘This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me'” (1 Corinthians 11:23).
Being a human being involves being betrayed. It happens to everyone at some stage in our lives and it hurts a great deal. Those who are ill are more fragile and vulnerable, so hurtful comments make us feel even more betrayed.
Most difficult is when it’s those that are closest that betray you.
I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that it feels like a knife in the heart! The grief that follows is painful beyond words.
So, after the tears, then what?
These verses (above) from 1 Corinthians 11 show us Jesus’ response to betrayal.
Wow! Betrayed and thanks are in the same sentence!
When you’ve been betrayed have you given thanks? My track record says that I haven’t. Yet here is Jesus giving thanks, knowing He was being betrayed by His close friend, Judas.
I’ve read it so many times, but today seeing ‘betrayed’ and ‘thanks’ in the same sentence has had me scratching my head! Amazing!
Jesus knew what was about to happen. Yet, He gave thanks and gave His disciples a meaningful and practical way to remember Him through communion.
Here is the avenue to healing, when betrayed:
– Find something to give thanks to God for. Start with something, anything, then keep going.
– Remember that Jesus died on the cross for you in the practical way that He showed us, through communion.
Jesus knows what it’s like to be betrayed, so trust His love for you.
It’s not easy! It sure wasn’t for Jesus either. However, it’s worth it.
Prayer: Lord, betrayal hurts! Thank You that You understand that pain. Help me to heal and to look to Your example for me. Amen.
About the Author:
Kerryn Wright lives with her family amongst the gum trees in South Australia. She was a special education teacher prior to chronic illnesses. Her husband is carer for three of their family, who have chronic illnesses and disabilities. God has always guided them through life’s challenges, often in surprising ways.
What can you thank God for? Is it possible for you to take communion, remembering that Christ died for you and understands the pain of betrayal? What else has helped you when you’ve felt betrayed?
This is JJ Heller singing “What Love Really Means.” It is a fact of life that people will disappoint us. People are not perfect. We react rather than respond. Sometimes our ignorance of w situation will cause someone great pain. Other times, we may intentionally hurt someone. But we serve a God who can step into that gap and promise that He will never forsake us. He will always love us. -Lisa
Kerryn, wow, what a great and inspired message here today. You are so right. I’ve never noticed that in the same verse either. But I bet there is a good reason, like you said find something to hive thanks for! Also knowing Jesus completely understands that betrayal is comforting as well. But most importantly He chose to forgive. So I know I must also. Thank you for this. Really special nourishment for our soul today!! Love to you dear friend. Di
Thanks Di. 🙂 I’m glad it was a revelation for you too. May it bring help & encouragement when you need it most.
Yes forgiveness is huge in this too ….it’s evident in His giving thanks and communion. To me it seems that Jesus had already forgiven Judas.
For me…. the forgiveness came easier because I gave thanks to God for as much as I could think of AND had communion….. just me & the Trinity.. So I’m guessing that the Holy Spirit eased the forgiveness path for me. Not sure if that makes sense. Just my thoughts through my own experience. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Thank you, Kerryn. What grace to give thanks even in the midst of betrayal! It’s so hard to do sometimes. When someone I love expects me to be somewhere my body will not allow me to, it feels like betrayal. They want me there because they love me, but at the same time it feels like they don’t believe me or understand my limitations. My heart longs to go 110%, but my body says “no.” I start getting really down on myself and beating myself up for again letting someone down. Guilt consumes me and I start telling myself I don’t have a problem, but I’ve learned by experience how that backfires. And I start thinking I’m selfish if I am not willing to sacrifice my health for them. I have in the past sometimes pushed myself to please them even if it means I will get sick and it will take a long time to get on top of it again and my condition on the whole worsens. I try to tell myself I am a temple of God, and God wants me to take care of my body and not go into situations that will end up punishing my body, but my emotions take over and beat me up. My husband tells me that if I love them I will take care of myself, but not everyone understands that. I don’t know if any of this makes sense. My emotions are all mixed up, so I’m sure this comment is, too. But somehow I feel like some of you out there will understand how I feel. I feel like deleting this, but I’m going to take the risk to post it. Blessings to you all! May we become more like Jesus!
Oh yes, Trudy, I totally understand what you’re saying!! I’ve been through the same scenario many times!!
It sure isn’t easy to balance out our energy needs when there’s barely any energy there to start with!! My heart goes out to you along with my prayers for you.
My experience has been that when it’s REALLY important that I go to something…. like my MIL’s funeral; one of my best friend’s
wedding & my son’s engagement party….. God has supernaturally given me the energy to attend. There were “crashes” after, but nowhere near as bad as expected.
I’m sure no saint!!!! When I was betrayed recently I spent a couple of days having a monstrous pity party….. tears, anger, defence arguments etc etc. This message about betrayed and thanks in the same sentence, came to me a year ago, BUT I didn’t put it into practice, when I needed to! Further reflection, prayer & God moments have taught me much about myself through it all. I’m gradually learning that Jesus’ response to betrayal really helps and works.
In response to the balancing act of giving out to others & caring for yourself…. Jesus sometimes left the needy crowd to go to be alone for rest & prayer! May He help us all in the balancing act. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Trudy, I hear you, and I’m glad you didn’t delete your post. You know that I’m sorry you’re in this position, but it does comfort me to know I’m not alone in feeling I AM doing something wrong if I feel such guilt at saying ‘no’. I find it very difficult to have peace when trying to explain that I know my body will not be capable of enduring an occasion. Praying for others to understand brings with it God’s Peace.
Trying to meet others’ expectations is hard when you have a disability.
I find the disappointment of my children the hardest to bear.
Trudy, please know that I know this feeling well, thank you for speaking out and getting a thread like this going. Thank You.
I have become so isolated that I have no friends. The thing I’m dealing with now is my 18 yr old daughter betraying me. I know she feels that I have also betrayed her possibly. It’s been tough being a Mom who is struggling. Why doesnt she remember the good times we had? Why must we always be at odds with each other? Can our relationship be repaired? Sorry for venting today.
Hugs!!! and Hope!!!!
Oh Kathy!!! I can hear your pain in this very tough situation. I’m soooooooo sorry you’re going through this current challenge with your daughter! That’s hard to bear.
You’re not venting. You’re sharing with us about the difficulty of your situation for prayer and help. I’m praying now for you!
I have a vaguely similar situation with our youngest son, who has mild intellectual disabilities, that cause a multitude of communication issues. He’s always yelling at me/us!! We’re regularly told that he hates us, he’s leaving home, we never understand him etc etc etc!! He requires firm boundaries for his own safety, but it’s REALLY difficult for him & us, which becomes extremely wearing!!!! So I really feel for you.
I’ve had Christian counselling to help us with this & it’s helped get me/us through over the years. The biggest helps for me have beento say when I’ve made mistakes & ask for his forgiveness…. it’s always with a hug & often in tears! Choose carefully what “battles” are important and when to be silent or walk away. The biggest help for me was to work out when something is actually not my problem at all & saying “that’s not my problem” to myself in my head. It’s very freeing, as those things are for God to deal with. Oh if only I followed these important lessons for me ALL the time, but I don’t!!!
It really has helped to give thanks to God about everything & anything in my toughest times & to have communion with Jesus.
May God help us all in our relationships & help healing to come when there have been betrayals. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Great thoughts here Kerryn – thanks so much for sharing such a good approach with us.
Blessings,
Fiona
Thanks dear Fiona. 🙂
Soooo thankful for your friendship & prayers, as we share life together. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Great message Kerryn. Very thought-provoking. It is hard to give thanks in all things, but that is the example of Christ.
Blessings.
Thanks Karlton. 🙂
Yeah….. if only it was easy!!! Thank goodness we have Christ’s example as our roadmap! Pity that I often choose what I think are shortcuts!! There must be a devotional in that! 😉 God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Yes Kerryn, betrayal hurts deeply. And I was thinking that it may not always be intentional.
Judas knew what he was doing, even though he was sorry later.
Maybe what I really mean is that we have certain expectations about people, especially when we’re young. And when we discover that others have feet of clay and don’t have the ability to make us happy, we can be terribly disappointed.
These verses from Psalm 55:12-14 also came to mind.
“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe wee raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of
God.” (NIV)
As you said, if anyone empathizes, it’s Jesus, who felt the injustice and cruelty of creatures He had created, like no one else ever. And He endured this for love of us! Wow!
Thanks kerryn.
Trudy, bless you for trying to express how you’ve felt in these situations.
What you said resonates so well with me. I’m glad you didn’t delete your comments. Your words encourage me in that I know I’m not alone.
Gentle hugs,
Beth
Hi kerryn, thanks for reminding us of the important and powerful practice of forgiveness. This has been the greatest challenge Our Lord has given me to help me grow in spirit. A negligent osteopath here in Melbourne over-manipulated my neck 4 years ago and has essentially left me an invalid. He was sorry at first and paid my medical bills for the first 2 years but when I had to place a claim in, as I can no longer earn a living, he turned around and denied responsibility and due to legalities I could not take him to court. So I felt betrayed also by the legal system.
But right from the start I told him I forgave him as I knew I was in serious trouble and I immediately turned to Our Lord’s instructions and have held on to that forgiveness for him through all my pain while watching my life fall apart around me and I pray for him that he returns to the path of truth. There is no way I am taking hatred with me to see Our Lord when I am called on. So suffering and betrayal is like the manure on our spiritual garden. It stinks a bit but if we apply it correctly it will help grow beautiful fruit that only Our Lord can really see. Thanks for your reminder, christopher.