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hen you pray, asking God to allow you to be able to physically attend church, why does He not always answer in the way you wish? Karen shares.
“I rejoiced with those who said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord'” (Psalm 122:1).
I enjoy attending church. I look forward to worshiping God and being renewed through His Word. I enjoy fellowshipping with other believers.
There is nothing more frustrating than spending time showering, ironing clothes, fixing my hair, etc. and ending up too tired to actually go! And there is no way to know ahead of time when these times will happen.
When this occurs, my husband must go alone and answer all the questions about my whereabouts. He has to explain my situation, which can be awkward. People don’t always understand when you explain it to them–“What do you mean she was too tired to come, the kids kept me awake all night and I’m still here!
When these times happen, I ask God to turn things around and let me feel good enough to go. It’s so discouraging when my prayer doesn’t change how I feel. After all, I’m trying to go somewhere I know the Lord wants me to be!
My ladies group is planning an overnight retreat next month. There is no way I can attend the entire event like the other women. This makes me feel so out of place.
Missing events in the church can make you feel lonely. It can make you feel frustrated and sad. God made us to crave fellowship with other believers.
However, we have to accept that we can only do what we are able and let go of the rest.
I choose to focus on the times that I feel good enough to be there and be grateful for that. I will also choose to accept the times I cannot be at church and remember that I will be back as soon as I am able.
God understands our limitations. God loves us and knows our heart.
Prayer: Lord, help me to accept when I have to miss church because of my physical limitations. Help me not to be discouraged. Amen.
Karen Weber has dealt with several autoimmune diseases for over 20 years. She has a passion for encouraging others with the hope of God through the path of illness. She has led a support group and has taught classes for the community on “Living Well with Chronic Illness.”
Do you struggle with missing church with your illness? Do you feel lonely when you can’t attend special events at church? Do you ever feel as if the church doesn’t miss you when you aren’t there?
I cannot get to Church very often because of my cfs and sjogrens syndrome. But in the last few months the music ministry has changed at our church, and now even on my ‘good’ days I cannot cope with the nosie levels. It has resulted in us having to find a new church. The style of worship is not the same, but at least I can go and listen to the Word.
It was a very hard decision to make, and I am thankful that our minister understood when I spoke to him.
Good words Sharon. Many people without health challenges would never even consider that a church’s music service could effect people in a negative way. There are many aspects of church that affect us physically.
I am glad you have found a new church home. God bless you as you follow Him.
The CHURCH is MISSING the Chronically ILL!!! Has any one asked you Karen to explain your illness to them? Has any one asked how that ladies group who can do things together find ways to minister to you? Instead of judging or saying snarky things…may be if they even tried to understand they could learn and deepen their compassion …I think most churches would have walked right by the man from Samaria on the road side with some lame excuse. I deeply understand your solitude and discouragement. I am sorry.
My church has been very good to me. I have attended churches in the past that people may have said some hurtful things. I find that most people don’t intentionally try to say something hurtful or unkind. Most people don’t know what to say or do. I’ve learned to cut people slack when it comes across to me as unkind. We all have times where we wish something would’ve come out of our mouths in a better way.
We can help our churches understand the world of those living with chronic illness. After all, we are the best ones who know those kinds of needs.
Thank you so much for this devotion. Just what I needed! It’s so hard not knowing how I’m going to feel on any given day, esp. trying to get to church.
Thanks, I actually feel more stressed on sundays because I want so much to go to church. Any other day, you can put your errand off and choose to do it another day. You only get one change for church on Sunday morning! 🙂
That’s exactly how I feel. I made it to church once last year, and that was Christmas Day.
My sensory sensitivities [ noise, light, too many people] make church one of the hardest places to be. I made it to Bible study a few times – smaller groups are easier.
I struggle on, relying on God’s strength – I have precious little of my own – I am so thankful for his.
Blessings,
Helen in Oz
Karen, thank you for sharing on the subject of not being able to attend church due to chronic illness. You so aptly described the loneliness associated with not being part of the corporate worship and fellowship. I miss being a part of active ministry. Like you, I am unable to make a commitment due to chronic fatigue and pain. Have learned that I am to live one day at a time. That is really all God wants us to do. He promises to be with us in each new day, whatever it holds for us.
Good attitude LIz – keep on keeping on! 🙂
Since I’m the caregiver for my husband, when he can NOT go, I give a little update of Harrison illness in S.S.,(he needs a transplant,,( that is the ONLY option) so he has to be careful of germs , but the service is televised so he does go,, but NO fellowship, which he misses a lot! !so this devotion helps me & how he must feel,, he reads his Bible and his daily devotions everyday and are S.S. class calls & sends cards alot & that really helps him…..the point I’m trying to make is that this devotion helped me understand how he feels…………….Thank you…….ntp
Nancy, sounds like your husband is lucky to have you! Thanks for those kind and encouraging words!
I hear that. I’m glad m church is casual, or I would be absent a lot more often. I used to lead worship though, and because of arthritis in my feet and ankles, I can’t stand there long enough to do it now. When I can’t go, it is lonely. I also can’t attend the Hopekeepers group at my church because of my schedule. I am trying to get an education despite my illness so I can support myself and my family. But having the illness and commuting 1.5 hours to school each way means that I stay in a relative’s home 2 nights a week to reduce fatigue/stress/etc. And I’m gone the day they meet. Because of these things, I feel very out of place .and disconnected from people on campus, church, on the worship team, etc. I still have my best friend, who also has a chronic illness but runs circles around me recently! Our family has been known to have our own worship services at home- watching our church online or another pastor/speaker such as Dr Tony Evans or Kay Arthur. Then we each choose a worship song from you tube and sing along. We’ve had some very sweet times with God that way, but are missing out on fellowship. Last week my ankles were well enough to stand a while, so I went to church, but I didn’t connect with anyone at all. People I know were not at that service. I was out for lunch with my daughter and ran into a man from church. He asked where I had been as I stood there with cast boots on both feet and I had to explain that I wasn’t able to stand up much and was in too much pain to walk. Steroid injections got me 75% pain relief. Last time I went in my boots before that, people kept asking me what happened to me… in a way I was glad that my boots finally let people “see” my illness, so I wasnt dealing with all those who say they understand arthritis because they have some aches and pains they can take an Advil for. Yes, this is a different thing and you can see it’s serious. But I didn’t want to keep explaining that I didn’t have an accident.
Nancy, I totally get what your saying. Thanks for sharing your story because there are many people out there that can relate to you! You go girl – as you work so hard to hang in there and study hard! I know it’s like climbing a mountain every day – hang in there!
One thing I have tried to do is get my bath the night before and decide what clothes I want to wear and maybe even what to do for an easy breakfast so that the only thing I have to do is get out of bed, get dressed and get in the car. Sometimes I can’t do that, but getting as prepared as I can the night before has helped me get there when I am able.
Good idea Diane! Anything you can do the night before always helps the next day!
My wife has fibromyalgia and arthritis. Sunday morning she can hardly stand the pain and must stay home from church. The few times she does attend, she struggles with the pain just sitting there or having to stand to sing. But when she doesn’t attend, I go of course. Then I get understanding sympathy from many, but others make comments like “Surely she understands that church is very important and she needs to be here.” “If she made the effort, she could be here.” “My relative had fibromyalgia and he/she never missed a Sunday.”
And then I sit beside someone who is in the middle of a bad cold and a few days later I have caught it. Why can’t they stay home? I thought the Lord’s second great commandment was “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” Passing your sickness to others in church is a clear violation of that command.
John – I’m glad that you continue to go – even when people say difficult things to you. Chronic illness affects caregivers too. Thanks for commenting from the caregivers side. I wish people would stay home too but I have a feeling it’s not going to change 🙂
Oh Karen…. thanks for sharing this VERY important topic, as it’s pertinent to all with chronic illnesses!
I confess that I’m quite teary reading through it, as it’s brought up the grief again of not being able to go to church at all since illnesses hit me. So my last church service was in February of 2011. I miss church sooooooooooooooo much!! I used to lead services & the singers & was an elder….. so was very involved. Life suddenly changed dramatically when illnesses hit & I guess that RM has kinda become “church” to me. Soooo many thoughts, but no emotional energy to write. Suffice to say that I miss church & fellowship, especially worshipping with everyone in song, but….. “God understands our limitations. God loves us and knows our heart.” Thanks again for sharing. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Such heartfelt words Kerryn, thanks. So glad to have a God that understands….
Karen, thanks….. & amen! Lotsoluv Kerryn
Thanks Karen for a wonderful message to those of us who miss our church services. I especially miss the worship songs, the companionship of other believers, and of course the sermons. I am fortunate that our church is now doing live streaming so I can watch it; but it’s not the same as being there.
Norma
Norma, you hit the nail on the head when you said “It’s not the same as being there”. May God bless you.
Thank you Karen for the encouraging words. It’s comforting to know there are others going through similar difficulties. My husband is the pastor of our little country church so sometimes I struggle with only going when I feel good enough. I try not to be concerned about what others think who don’t understand my illness, as long as I’m being obedient to God and following Jesus.
Janet – being a pastors wife I’m sure really complicates matters! You live in a fishbowl. I bet you could write a book! 🙂 God bless you!
Karen thank you for writing on this subject. One of the hardest things for me is not being able to attend church, I don’t mind staying home so much it’s missing church. But God knows my heart, that’s what matters. I watch the church channels on TV I am grateful for that. I hold on to the hope I will be able to attend church again someday. I have m. E fibro and now f. Q. A d..
Janet I am a Pastor’s wife too. I have missed way more services than I have attended in our past 5 years at being at this particular post of 2 churches. I have had Fibromyalgia for 26 years and now have many other autoimmune illnesses. I am in constant pain and in a wheelchair. It is tough, I agree, to live in a fishbowl with chronic illness. I have shared information about my illnesses with the churches, and at times attended dinners and such when I have obviously felt bad-just for the chance to converse with a live human being besides my husband. I have had nothing but love from the churches we have now. I will keep you in my prayers.
Just reading all the comments, it makes me realize there are so many of us who are having Sunday church “one on one” with the Lord. We do understand one another through our posts. I am so grateful for the times when I can get to church on Sunday morning. It makes it not just another Sunday, but so special to be able to be there. I am thinking about how Paul must have felt when he was in prision. Locked away, many times forgotten. I bet he had thoughts of wishing he was fellowshiping with other believers. But someone how he still managed to write letters of encouragement to new believers. So our suffering in our “prision” is not a new thing. The Lord is still refining us and asking us to still be true only to Him! We will still have some bad days of feeling alone and forgotten. But He never forgets us! He is still our comforter, inspite of how the world may treat us, or overlook us. Press on, forgetting what is behind (the old life) looking forward to the day of His return!
Victoria – loved your post. You could write a devotional with your comment! 🙂 I never thought about the comparison to Paul but I thought it was excellent!
Victoria-I read, and re-read your post…thank you for that encouragement, I really needed this…
A friend shared this article with me. She said it was a real blessing to her, and it is to me as well. Thank you. I haven’t been able to attend my Sunday school class, or help with a church activity I love, or attend worship in many months. Each Sunday is more depressing than the last because I miss going so much.
Pam – thanks for your honest words. You rest assured God knows your limitations and understands.
Karen I really needed this article…I just found RM after a very long chronic illness, and haven’t had any information learning about the commonalities I now realize I share with others who have chronic illnesses…I’ve prayed for a long time, as I have felt so alone and misunderstood by my spouse and the church. I am truly greatful to have found RM.
Chris, welcome to RM! 🙂
Soooo delighted that you found us all & that your burden can be shared here. Sorry to hear you’ve had to suffer & felt so alone though. Yes, it’s tough when people can’t understand what we’re going through, but …… I wouldn’t want them to experience our illnesses to understand! I pray that God will continue to encourage you through Rest Ministries. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Welcome Chris – I hope you find encouragement among friends.
I have had a chronic illness for 35 years and the older I get the harder it is to even get to church. Just getting ready exhausts me. Now I have severe issues with my lower back and that adds to the difficulty of trying to attend. I am a Christian, saved by grace and I know my going to Heaven is solely due to His grace and Jesus’ shed blood and only on my putting my faith in those two things. But I hear all the time that if you love God you will keep His commandments and I am not doing that when I don’t attend church. So now I feel like maybe I am fooling myself about my salvation. I know Satan is sly and will do whatever He can do get me discouraged. I just wonder if anyone else ever feels like this.
I’m glad to see this issue addressed. With my illness, mornings are rough for me, and the majority of church services and Bible studies are in the morning. The few times I’ve tried to force myself to go, I’ve felt like someone trying to function with 2 hours of sleep. I could handle an afternoon service or study much more easily, but those don’t really exist. I feel embarrassed that I’m not ‘committed’ to church; it’s a first for me. So glad to see this being talked about!