Illness gives us the opportunity to truly learn to trust that God has our best plans at heart when our own don’t come to pass. Karen shares.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
“Are you coming next week?”
“You’ll be there won’t you?”
“You’ll make the meeting next week, right?”
Sometimes I just want to scream when someone repeatedly asks me these questions!
I don’t have a magic crystal ball and I can’t see the future. When you live with chronic illness, you don’t know how you will feel at any given time.
My family is always planning the next get together. After all, this is how the world works. In order to plan an event, you must set a day and time so people can adjust their schedules to attend. It’s a simple concept and most effective too.
It’s a simple concept . . . except for those with chronic illness.
I can plan, but it doesn’t mean my plans will happen the way I want. I can even hope but it doesn’t change reality.
I hate going back on my word. I hate letting people down. I hate it that my health has all the power and my will has so little control.
Guilt and apprehension hit me every time I say “yes, I’ll be there” or “I’ll volunteer for that” because I know full well there is a good chance I won’t be able to do what I just promised.
My frustration gets the best of me sometimes. I want to snap and say “if I feel well enough, I will” or “I will have to see how I feel”. But most times, I smile and say “I’m planning on it.”
It’s not frustration at others for asking the question, it’s the frustration that this is my life.
Proverbs 3:5 tells us “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” That’s what I have to do even when it is easier said than done.
Prayer: Lord please help me to trust you with future plans. Help me not to worry or fret about all the details. Amen.
About the author:
Karen has dealt with health issues for over 20 years. She has a passion for sharing the hope of Christ to those living with chronic illness.
Do you ever get frustrated when people don’t understand that you won’t know until that day if you will feel well enough to attend an event?
Thank you so much for this devotional and one of my favorite verses.
So few people understand how hard it is to not be able to do what we would like to or try to commit to.
Thanks for your words Kristi!
This is my story, this is my song…….
Happens to me at least once a week. Today in fact. I’m supposed to take my daughter to an appointment and I can’t even get out of bed because of my back pain. Tonight is her school band concert. She’s starting to just count on that I can’t come. My husband doesn’t plan anything either anymore. I’m trying to trust in Jesus but these days make it so hard.
I’m sorry that you miss so much! It’s so hard not to be angry about it when we want to go so badly. I often find myself committing to something and then thinking “who am I kidding?????? I’ll never be able to do that!”
Then it’s sad when everyone gives up and realizes you won’t be able to make it to anything….
Thanks for sharing Julie!
I have been blessed with a very understanding family, though my husband/caregiver is leaving me for a healthy, active and younger woman. Most of my friendships have drifted away, but at least now I know who my real friends are, plus I’ve made wonderful new ones within the chronic illness communities online. However, I do have this one person who is constantly making me feel guilty, selfish, and that I’m being purposefully difficult and hurtful… that person is ME! Every time I have to miss an event, I make myself feel like garbage as I ASSUME what everyone else is thinking. I must accept that I can’t control the thoughts/actions of others. As long as I am truthful and not using my health as an excuse to avoid things, then I need to drop the rest, let it go, and trust that God will deal with it.
Kristina – you are a very wise woman! Praying that you’ll have God’s peace in your current situation.
Such a timely post! As I am in another health state of flux while we’re planning summer barbeques and vacations with driving and activities…sometimes planning to do fun things is so…. stressful! But this was just one example of the Lord showing up today in my life. I appreciate your devotional this morning and will be thinking on this verse as my family and make our plans.
Julia – I hope you are able to enjoy all the barbecues and swim parties your body will allow!
Karen,
Thank you for your words and being spot on with how most of us likely feel on a pretty regular basis as we watch the world keep on spinning and leaving us behind. It is no one’s fault, it is just the life we have and anyone who does not understand is not reminded of the old adage of “walk a mile in a person’s shoes” before making judgements. It really is only one person’s responsibility to judge us and that is not even ourselves. We have to trust in the value that our Father places on us that is not tied to what we do, but what we do with what we have and that applies to physical abilities as well as material things.
Sorry, I am very likely to use a paragraph when a sentence will do, but thanks again for your words.
Gary
It is very hard to understand unless you have walked in someone’s shoes. And it’s true of a lot of other things in life too such as having a rebellious teen, losing a spouse, etc. We have to be understanding of others the way we desire people to understand us. Good words Gary!
I am so blessed by this because it is a struggle that touches my life so much, too. I know my heart desires to participate in something or wants to serve but my body isn’t able to do what the heart wants to do. There is a ladies fellowship activity that will go on in June and I’d like to be part of some of it but know I can’t do the whole thing-sleepover. The message of the speaker & being with ladies from my church is needful. I must wait on God and learn to know that again He knows what is best. Learning to be thankful “in the moment” is a blessing He is teaching me! He can make all things beautiful in His time!
Pat – I had the same thing happen. All the ladies did a sleepover weekend/Bible Study. I could only stay a couple of hours and I paid for that later. It is so hard – thanks for your comments!
Thank you for sharing your heart and experience again Karen. Me too. every time my family plans an event that is long distance-meaning it would take air travel and hours of driving after- I have turned it down. its been years since seeing most of them. and sleepover church events—-no.
something simple as watering the garden causes such pain in hands with arthritis . sometimes I’ve taken as much pain med as I can and then done something with family, but its not the same kind of fun they are having. yet in the time when “what I usually would have done” isn’t happening, it has been time of more prayer, more bible, new friends who also trust in the Lord on line, where if my body isn’t up to meeting, the internet has been a vehicle for contact. God bless you Karen for the honesty of life and overcoming.
Regina – so thankful for your words!
Thank you for your vulnerable sharing Karen. The verse is my “life verse” & seems appropriate in every situation.
Since I’m house, bed, recliner bound I haven’t been able to go to events for years. If I do get to something it surprises everyone…. including me & of course recovery takes a couple of weeks or more!! Sooooo worth it though for the joy-filled memories of actually being able to go somewhere! I find it hard that people have stopped asking me to things. I know I can’t get to them, but it’s a treat to be invited & thought about. Praying for God’s help for you (& all here) as you deal with the challenges that illness brings. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
You are so right, it still feels good to be invited even if we know we can’t go. Thanks Kerryn for your good words!