Learning to be Assertive Despite the Fatigue of Illness

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By Lisa Copen I had just received the third pink slip in two weeks from the lab that said my payment was passed due. Over three times I had called & my insurance company had assured me that the lab work was covered & that they would mail out a check that afternoon. This time, when I finally got a representative on the telephone, I was polite but firm. I said that I wanted the problem taken care of immediately, & I wrote down her name & the supervisor's name. It was time to get even more assertive. Has assertiveness gotten a bad rap, however, among the chronically ill? Is it assumed that we won't have the energy or stamina to fight all of the battles that we will face? When we do talk to someone in customer service, we are rarely taken … [Read more...]

The First 5 Steps to Take After a New Diagnosis

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by Lisa Copen I easily can remember the day that my life shifted into a new kind of normal when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. At the age of 24, having dealt with a few weeks of swelling in various parts of my body, sometimes to the point of being disabling, my doctor called me at work with the test results. I had a positive rheumatoid factor, she explained, which most likely meant that I had rheumatoid arthritis. Faking confidence, I asked her, "On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being normal, what can I expect my life to be like from here on out?" She did not wish to answer, but after I told her I needed some kind of scale to know what side I was up against, she reluctantly replied, "If you are lucky maybe a six." Within days, I … [Read more...]

Counting the Blessings Hidden in Illness

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With the holidays nearing once again we are urged by everyone from Hallmark commercials to our local newspaper editor to take a moment to count our blessings. If you live with a chronic illness you may find that blessings are a bit more hidden in your life than they were previously. Holidays past you may have easily sat around the table of relatives before the feast & play the "I'm Thankful For. . ." game. When it was your turn, without hesitation, you chose one of the many things you were grateful for to share: "I'm thankful for my job, my family, my financial security." And--&, ah yes, there was that thing called "health." Now though, the ease of being able to list health on your thankful list has disappeared. And perhaps you are … [Read more...]

13 Gift Ideas for a Chronically Ill Gal

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We women like to shop & there’s nothing better than seeing the face of a friend light up when we offer up our thoughtfulness & creativity wrapped in a box with home-made, h&-stamped paper bag wrapping paper, all tied up with a raffia ribbon & dried orange slices. Say what? If you’re like me—since it’s the thought that counts—you basically try to stuff the gift into a dollar-store gift bag, rip the wrinkled tag off, & wrap a strip of shipping tape on the h&le so it doesn’t burst. But I used to be the girl that did rafia with home-made dried orange slices. Either way, shopping for a chronically ill friend can be both fun & intimidating. We want to give her something she’ll like (she can’t get enough of that American … [Read more...]

The Grinch & 2 Spa Prizes Next Week

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It’s that time of the year again when we share our annual Grinch story! Only this year we want to hear a few sentences from you too! Just post a couple Seuss-style sentences below in the common section that have anything to do with the holidays, illness, etc. & we will take pick our two favorites next week & send you a little spa just as our treat! Feeling Grinchy? Every person around The country it seemed Liked Christmas a lot... All was joy, red & green. But the Grinch, Who lived with illness, And had a heart of the blues, Did not like Christmas! The Grinch dreaded Christmas! The whole Christmas season! So much to do, so little energy, there were all kinds of reasons. It could be said that the medicines were … [Read more...]

Talking to Our Spouse About Our Illness: How Much is Too Much?

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It feels like I'm laying on thumb tacks," I tell my husb& as he crawls into bed beside me. "But there is nothing there! I feel so bruised." "I'm sorry," he offers with a sympathetic voice, but there is little else he can do. "I feel kind of nauseous too," I say. "I wonder if I should get something to eat. . . But then that might upset my stomach. It's must be the drugs. I'm sure it will pass." As I finish my sentence he's snoring away. For many of us, our spouse is our best friend. If our relationship is good, we want to share our feelings with them. Even if our relationship is hurting, we feel that by explaining our pain, they may sympathize & be more loving towards us. Although we don't want to burden them by constantly sharing … [Read more...]

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