No one would tell a child with diabetes that her insulin was a “crutch.” Nobody would think that a man with a heart condition lacked faith because of his dependence on nitroglycerin. We all understand that medications help hurting bodies to function more normally.
So, I suspect that your question goes deeper than that. Perhaps others have questioned the validity of your illness, fibromyalgia.

Chronic pain syndromes are no different from diseases such as diabetes or heart disease. Seeking relief from a myriad of poorly understood symptoms is not a sign of weakness.

Pain is primarily a brain function. Our knowledge of brain function is still in its infancy, and that has contributed to the stigmatization of diseases involving chronic pain or mental illness. But a new day is dawning in brain research. New discoveries are shattering old concepts of pain perception and the way pain affects the brain chemicals responsible for mood and mental health. These advances will help take the guesswork out of treatment for conditions such as fibromyalgia.

Ultimately, the decision to take a medication is between you and your doctor. Overmedication is always a risk, especially if you see several doctors. Review your list regularly with your primary physician to see if any medicines should be eliminated.

Here is a simple test to see if a medication is right for you: Does the medication enable you to function more normally? Is the side effect profile acceptable to you and your physician? If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then don’t apologize for taking it.

Amy Fogelstrom Chai, MD, MS, is an Internal Medicine specialist with additional training in the area of medical research methods. Her experiences as a patient helped to redirect her priorities to home life and Christian ministry.

Reprinted from HopeKeepers Magazine 2004

I was having a ball with wedding plans; my music program was a huge success; I was blessed to have had the opportunity to travel and see the world; I had friends and family to love. My life was full, and I saw nothing but blue skies above,” she writes in her book The Last Dance But Not the Last Song. But in May 1988, after a romantic weekend as a prom chaperone with her fiancé, her life would take a dramatic dive—literally.

She went to bed filled with innocent anticipation of life ahead, but awoke “diving” off the foot of her bed. She simply remembers being in mid- air and thinking, “Huh?” and then hitting the floor. Filled with searing pain in her neck and shoulders, she thought, “I’ve really done it now. . . I’ve got a real kink in my neck.”

Later at ICU, however, the doctor would tell her, “You’ll never walk again. . .” and he would be right. That night, Renée became a quadriplegic, having no feeling below the top of her chest. He also told her, however, “You’ll never be able to sing. . .” —and he would be wrong. He didn’t know Renée, her fierce determination and passionate spunk; nor did he understand her faith that would propel her forward through any challenges she would face. Today, Renée has sold over 100,000 albums and she travels throughout the United States singing and speaking for Christian conferences, church events, and youth rallies. But the closest thing to her heart right now is simply being a wife and a mother, miracles that she acknowledge astonish her daily.

I arrived at the church to meet with Renée a bit frazzled, as my directions were confusing. I had also read Renée’s book and I was experiencing a sense of nerves at meeting this inspiring woman. I no longer wanted to sit and just interview her; I wanted to have a relaxing cup of coffee and chat about how she had encouraged me through her honest and raw written words. I started out my conversation with her laughingly sharing how much I related with her frustration of not being able to wear cute, feminine shoes. It’s those little things that make one feel an instant bond.

Despite our surroundings of being in a cubby-hole behind the stage where she would perform in a few minutes when she spoke it was Holy Ground where I would sit with her. Renée’s deep faith and daily surrender were immediately evident.

HK: Many people find losing more abilities the hardest part of living with a chronic condition. How do you get through tough moments?

RB: I’ve often wondered what would it be like if I had something like MS where I wouldn’t really know where I’m going to be in a year. One may wake up tomorrow with some paralysis or dysfunction. At the beginning we felt that way, but after fifteen years, I know what I have is pretty much what I have. I know what tomorrow is going to bring. I don’t have the fear that you may, unless I don’t take care of myself. What has helped me over the years is knowing that with God I can handle anything.

I didn’t have that confidence when I was young, but now I know that I can get through anything–including being confined to the wheelchair– because tomorrow is another day and it could be better. I don’t want to sound like a Pollyanna at all, but I know I’m not going to stay this way forever. I can even have this outlook with the worst case scenario: let’s say I get a pressure wound that gets horrible and infected and I get a staph infection and die. . . Still, it’s not horrible. I will go to Heaven where I get to dance again and run and play and be able to use my body. What most people would call the very worst scenario isn’t bad.

HK: I think that describes the “joy of the Lord is my strength” because a lot of people would say tomorrow could be worse.

RB: And it could be, but you’re not doing yourself any favors.

HK: You’ve had some time where you’ve been bedridden for months. What kinds of things get you through these lonely times?

RB: I think what you can do when you’re having a bad day, rather than being depressed about it, is to go ask yourself, “What can I do to make this better? Am I taking care of myself? Do I have the right medical care and attendant care? Have I made good amends with my family? Do I have a relationship with family members or are they estranged? What changes can I make myself?” Rather than dwell and woe about my life, I need to really ask myself, “What can I do?”

HK: You’ve found a certain peace by having a ministry from your experience. How would you encourage someone who is in deep pain, but still waiting for God to reveal His purpose?

RB: I think it’s really important to know that God does not waste our suffering or pain. I had been through junk, pain and suffering, but others wanted to know, “How do you smile in that wheelchair?” It allowed me to share and question, “How do I?” I was able to realize that God was using everything I had been through for a larger purpose. So I would encourage people to help others in their pain because (a) it helps you get out of your own and put your focus on somebody else; and (b) it gives you purpose to live with the pain.

HK: What’s been the most surprising thing about being a mom with disability?

RB: How quickly my son adapted to my disability. He was only about 12 or 18 months old. . . He needed to get out of the crib and I would calmly say, “Daniel, I’m going to help you get out of the crib. Be very careful and listen to mommy. Grab around my head and hold on tight. Do not let go because mommy cannot catch you. Mommy cannot catch you.” And he’d grab around my neck and climb out and crawl into my lap. How he got out of that crib and onto my lap was amazing. I was so surprised.

HK: I think that’s very encouraging for us moms to hear. Many of us are even more nervous than an average mom about how our child will adapt to different abilities we have.

RB: Oh good. Yes! I was very nervous about the infant stage. Very nervous.

HK: If you could reshape how a church reaches out to the disabled community, what would be your vision or your dream?

RB: Some churches are doing an excellent job, but I think they are far and few between. I think that’s something we as disabled people should take on. We ask ourselves, “What do I have to offer to society?” and this is a huge job —to come to our pastor or parish advisory board and say, “What are we doing really to minister to the disabled? Can I help? Can I start a Bible study for the disabled? Can I make sure we have an accessible church? Where can we sit comfortably? Not all together, for example. If I’m disabled, how can I sit with my family?”

It’s absolutely important not to go in with a hardened heart and with an attitude of, “You owe it to me, you’re my church!” But rather offer yourself to be part of the solution. Don’t be an angry, bitter, demanding person.

I would love to see everything accessible, Bible studies that speak specifically to suffering, and signers for hearing impaired at all services, and my absolute dream would be to have a disabled person on staff. I love the fact that many churches have disability Sunday. Sunday school for children. That’s so hard and I understand why it doesn’t happen because it takes the right people. It’s a big job description—for people to have special education skills and also a relationship with Christ. But it’s a dream.

HK: What dreams do you have for your ministry and how God will continue to work in you and your family’s life?

RB: When I was laying in the ICU, I never dreamed I’d now be a wife and a mom—well. . .yes, I did, because I was in denial: “Of course I will be!” But later . . . after denial, I realized this is real, this is my “thing.” Now, to be a wife and a mom and be able to reach out to others is just more than I deserve.

I am in a very, very, very serious place of being a wife and a mom. If I was in my 20’s and single, I’d want to travel and be a recording artist and speak and minister to others on a grand scale, get a record deal, that sort of thing. But I just have no desire; it’s exhausting to parent this way, there is no doubt about it. I’ve had to get very creative at times—very creative. But more importantly, I want to be a good wife; It’s really about being a good wife in order to be a good mom. That’s the gift we’re going to give our son—mom and dad being okay.

This year I was in bed for seven months on my stomach 24 hours a day, seven days a week, while a pressure wound healed; after that I finally got back up in the chair and had other health problems. It was very taxing on our marriage, very difficult. But we finally survived it. We really started praying for joy. We wanted to be joyful. We were whining and cranky. It was very ugly and so we prayed for God to return our joy.

This year Mike and I went through what everyone expected us to go through fifteen years ago, like when everyone was saying, “What is Mike doing marrying a quadriplegic. Does he realize what he’s giving up?” He realized it this year. But now, we’re much, much better.

Again, I had to step back and look at it without being emotional and ask, “What can I do to help the situation?” I started meditating on Philippians 4:8, “Whatever is true…” and so while I was stuck in bed I’d go through that verse. Okay, what is true? God loves me. What is true? I’m a quadriplegic and I need to find a way to be joyful. What is noble? Mike being married to me. What is pure? Daniel’s smile. What is lovely? I can see the sky outside.

Once I started meditating on this my attitude and heart started to change and I became someone my husband wanted to be around. Mike said, “Okay, that’s the woman I married. She left for awhile, but she’s back now.”

I taped Scriptures on 3 x 5 cards and put them by my bed, and I’d say them over and over, sometimes putting melodies to them. It really helped pass the day in a good way. I also watched every romantic comedy on video, but I got to where I needed more. I called Joni Eareckson Tada and said, “What can I do? I’ve prayed. I need some new ideas! I’m going down for the count!” She said that it was during these times that she began memorizing the second, third and fourth verses of hymns.

Sometimes it’s hard to pray. I remember soon after the accident when I was in the hospital and a chaplain came to pray with me. She said, “Let’s pray,” and I said, “I don’t feel like it. . .” She told me to breath in and say “Jesus.” Then slowly breath out and say “Mercy. . .” “Jesus. . . Mercy. . .” and soon my heart began to soften.

HK: Thanks so much for sharing with us, Renée. I know you will encourage many.

Visit Renee Bondi’s web site for more information on her ministry, her speaking, music and more, including her latest book and CD (where you can hear samples.)

Lisa Copen had the honor of interviewing Renee Bondi.

Our heads speak to God, but His comfort never reaches our hearts. Even as we pray we believe that tomorrow we will face the same situation all over again. We know that God can change our lives, but we doubt that He will.

My husband has an intra-thecal pump installed in his body that administers pain medication directly into his spinal column. This device makes his pain bearable. Because of pain in all other joints of his body, he must take other medications as well; and we know that drugs will always be part of our lives.

He begins some days with a minimum of pain. On these days, he optimistically says he is going to ask the doctor to decrease the medicine in his pump. Even as I praise God for this improvement, I wonder how long it will be before he says that he hurts worse than ever.

It is an emotional roller-coaster for me; casting me from positive encouragement to negative pessimism in a matter of a few hours.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could command our troubles to “go jump in the lake!” and rid ourselves of doubt? The good news is that we can! Jesus said in Matthew 21:21 “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.”

This mountain is a specific mountain which for us is chronic illness. When you pray, believe that— though you may wake up and face the same situation again tomorrow—God will give you the strength to do that.

Think about it. The simple fact that you have a willing heart and are able to do the same things over and over again is clear evidence that God is answering your prayers. Have faith and do not doubt. Your mountain can become beach sand when you trust in God’s love.

Lora Chandler has been in a care giving role since 1982 when her husband began his life-long struggle with pain due to a bone disease. Lora welcomes your comments at lorac@yucca.net.

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As I walked in, I was surrounded by glitz and multiple miniature Christmas trees with branches heavy with ornaments. Beside me stood a woman and her husband and she was telling him something. Then he raised his voice a bit so that I could overhear the conversation.

“But you already have seven angels! Why do you need another one?” he questioned her with desperation in his voice.

I smiled at the fact that he actually knew the exact number of angels she had. Was he counting today as he hauled them out of storage? I wondered.

And, as I walked to the next aisle, unable to hear his wife’s response, I asked myself, “Can you ever have too many angels?” Just last week, standing in the toy aisle, searching for a Christmas gift for my niece, I asked a little girl about her age, “Can you ever have enough Barbies?”

Perhaps we can have enough Barbies (although, not according to the child I asked) but, can we ever have enough angels?

I think not. Whether we feel the presence of the angels that God sends our direction, or not, they are there taking care of us as WE go about our day. In the 80’s, I enthusiastically sang along with Amy Grant’s Angels Watchin’ Over Me because it reminded me that “a reckless car ran out of gas, before it came my way.” Every time I pass an accident alongside the road I thank God for his protection.

God has promised that angels will protect us while He prepares our eternal home (Exodus 23:20). Angels have been known to tell us to get some sleep and something solid to eat (1 Kings 19:5).

Angels have “shut the mouths of lions” that want to devour us (Daniel 6:22). They’ve torn off the handcuffs (Acts 12:7) and have given strength where and when it is needed (Luke 22:43).

Despite the cute figurine representations and their ability to glow in the dark, we must be cautious not to worship the angels, because they are merely messengers of God. But will I ever lose the need of receiving messages from my Savoir? Nope! Bring ‘em on, I want to holler.

I could use a few “handcuffs,” things that bind me, to drop away. I could even use an angel that would ask, “Should you really be having that second cup of coffee?”

Images of angels abound throughout Christmas, and the Christmas story is no exception. Perhaps my greatest need right now is an angel like the one who visited Mary and the shepherds and reassured them all, “Do not be afraid.”

Even during the season of joy, life can be difficult, and we all need a messenger from God sent to us that simply says, “Do not be afraid. The Lord God is with you.”

I hope God sends you an angel this season with the message that you need to hear. And in case you’re wondering—the woman at the fabric store left in front of me with two new angels and a beaming smile.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and is currently working on a Christian book for moms who live with chronic illness. Lisa has rheumaoid arthritis and fibromyalgia and is recovering from a recent hand surgery.

Before he had a chance to figure out why he was there, a girl from one of his classes walked up to him and asked him the question he didn’t expect to hear, “Want to dance?”

The boy hesitated a moment and then answered, “No, thank you.” He never danced that day. He just stood by the wall, leaning on his crutches and wondering how a crippled kid could dance.

Twenty years later, the kid on crutches is now a man in a wheelchair. I’m not sure what happened to the girl who asked me to dance. She may not even remember asking the question, but I remember.

I look back on that day and regret that I didn’t dance. Yes, I was on crutches, but she didn’t seem to mind. So, why did I?

I’m more crippled than I was twenty years ago. Legs that once were merely weak are now lifeless. Arms that once maneuvered crutches now hang limp. I may be physically weaker, but I’ve learned how to dance.

God has taken my sorrow. He has taken my pain. He has taken my long nights when all seemed hopeless. He has taken my mourning and turned it into dancing. My body may sit motionless, but my spirit dances to the music God has placed in my heart.

God desires to do the same for you. He yearns to take your sorrow and turn it into joy. God asks you the same question a thirteen-year-old girl asked me, “Want to dance?”

Jason Mitchener was born with a rare neuromuscular disease that now confines him to an electric wheelchair and requires him to use a ventilator to breathe. He lives in Phoenix, AZ is the author of Just Passing Through: Notes from a Fellow Traveler. Visit his web site at: http://www.JasonMitchener.com