Dominic Cook

By Debbie Farmer

Recently I read a letter from a young man named Dominic Cook (also known as “Dooch”) who uses his pain to encourage others with his music. His testimony was such a blessing to me and I am going to share this interview with you now and hope that you too can also receive a blessing today.

Dominic Cook (AKA: “Dooch”) Please tell us about yourself and how you got into the music industry.

Where to start, where to start. . . Well, I’m a 27-year-old, husband, married, and going on 8 years. I have been a Christian going on 7 years now and a father of 5. My youngest Joshua, passed away at 2 months old–a year ago.

I have been doing music since I was 8 years old. It was the first thing I wanted to do and has been the only thing since. I spent my teenage years in New York City where I worked in the music business and learned a lot before I moved back to Virginia. [You can read his complete bio here on his web site, he has quite an amazing testimony!]

How did you get your stage name?

My stage name, “Dooch,” is actually a life long nick name that was given to me as a baby. But my alias, “Hope Boy,” is a name that I picked up as I’ve been known to give people hope. In the streets the drug dealers are known as “d-boys” which means dope boys because of what they sell. I see myself as the opposite of them as a hope boy, one who gives out hope instead of dope.

What kind of music do you perform?

The kind of music I do is rap to say the least. I desire my music to inspire people and give them hope. To comfort the broken and hurting, to be a voice for the voice-less and to stand up for the oppressed.

Can you give us some personal background on yourself and your battle with clinical depression?

I have been a Christian for almost 7 years now and this is when I first noticed my battle with being melancholy. However, I believe that this has been a struggle for much longer. While a teenager, I was addicted to alcohol, weed, and cigarettes so I think that the struggles were masked.

When I became a Christian I immediately became sober and that’s when I realized what I was dealing with. Every day has been a literal fight and battle for me, as every day either started off gray or quickly turned gray. I was heavily into the Word of God and that is what keep me grounded, hoping for a brighter day, but the “melancholy” soon affected all areas of my life.

It has affected my work, relationships, self esteem, plus more, and for all these years I never went to the doctor. I just thought it was normal, I never thought it was depression. A year ago our 2-month-old son passed away suddenly and this brought my wife into a place of depression. This ultimately caused both of us to receive help. This is when I was finally diagnosed with chronic depression.

How has music helped you?

When I started recording music that was true and real to me and my life it became a avenue of release and healing to me. I was able to get stuff out and it brought healing to me to be able to do that. It encouraged me when I saw others who heard the music cry and talk of how they deal or dealt with the same things and how my music helped them.

It made me believe that even my pain and depression could and would be used for God’s glory and for good.

How do you think your music might be able to help someone else?

I think it’s hard for people who deal with depression because of all of the myths about it and the “cooties” that people who deal with depression have. So a lot of people who suffer from depression are too ashamed or scared to admit to it that they suffer from it. Especially for Christians having depression is seen as taboo and it’s frowned upon so most people who suffer from it feel as if they can’t tell anyone or they will be ostracized, frowned upon and judged.

So, I think my music will meet these people where they are–both believer and un-believer alike–and let them know that God loves them, He is here for them, and they are special.

They have a purpose, they are someone.

It will let them know that they are not alone, they are loved and it’s okay, that they can reach out for help.

Can you tell us about your song and video and where our readers here at Rest Ministries can check your music out?

My latest song and video is called Drowning, [you can see video at end of this article] and I wrote this song a few months after my son passed, as I was walking through a very dark season. I felt as if I was drowning, I hated my life, I disliked everything and everyone and just wanted life to be over, so I poured my heart out in this song–everything I was feeling and dealing with–and just cried out to God, asking Him to help me. It was a true expression of my heart, something I equate to a modern day psalm of sort.

You can check out my music at www.youtube.com/godisdope and you can follow me at www.doochakahb.tumblr.com

Can you share some of your inspiration?

Yes. These are my two “life verses” so to say. I believe that my life is a letter written for all to see for the glory of God and whether I deal with depression or something else and He comforts me, He will use that to comfort others.

2 Corinthians 1:1-7 3 Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For as the sufferings of Christ overflow to us, so through Christ our comfort also overflows. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation. If we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is experienced in your endurance of the same sufferings that we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that as you share in the sufferings, so you will share in the comfort.

2 Corinthians 3:3 The Message:
Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it—not with ink, but with God’s living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives—and we publish it.

Wow. . .

This interview and your video are such a heartfelt blessing. I cried through the video! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are a remarkable young man and your testimony will help so many. May the Lord hold you close and comfort you.

Thank you so very much for your time and for doing this interview. I would like to leave you with a quote that I love which is in Latin. “Spes Mea in Deo” that means “My hope is in God.”

May your hope be in God, who can and will take your pain, depression, sufferings and hurt and use it for His glory and to comfort and minister to others.

Debbi Farmer, a part-time writer in North Carolina, lives a song-filled life now with her family thanks to the Lord’s wonderful and sufficient grace after suffering from severe clinical depression herself. Today she suffers from several illnesses including Fibromyalgia, but the Lord is good and has helped her face the trials of life and even waddle through them. She wishes she could give you all a cheerful hug today and share with you a song of hope.

Dooch - AKA "Hope Boy"

By Debbi Farmer

Eventually, we will all feel blue. We will have days, even weeks when we are sad. Many can rebound from these emotions–but many cannot.

We face tragedies and struggles that can turn our world completely upside down. And sadly there are times also when physical changes in our body can cause clinical depression even when life appears to the world to be running smoothly. When you have depression, it interferes with daily life and causes pain for both you and those who care about you.

Depression is a common but serious illness.

Many people with a depressive illness never even seek treatment. Helping someone with depression can be a challenge.

If someone in your life has depression, they may feel helpless and you may wonder what to do. You can help the person you care about recognize the symptoms of depression and get treatment that will help them.

People with depression may not recognize or even acknowledge that they are depressed. They may not even be aware of the signs and symptoms of depression, or they may feel too hopeless to address the issue. People with depression may think that how they feel is normal and not the result of a mental health condition. All too often, people feel ashamed about their depression and mistakenly believe they should be able to overcome it with willpower alone. But depression seldom gets better without treatment and may indeed get worse.

If you are in this same boat, believe me when I say the boat is full as many more are suffering today also.

Debbi Farmer, a part-time writer in North Carolina, lives a song-filled life now with her family thanks to the Lord’s wonderful and sufficient grace after suffering from severe clinical depression herself. Today she suffers from several illnesses including Fibromyalgia, but the Lord is good and has helped her face the trials of life and even waddle through them. She wishes she could give you all a cheerful hug today and share with you a song of hope.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Tomorrow . . . we will be featuring an article about a rapper.

You heard it right! A rapper! Dominic Cook (also known as “Dooch”) has quite a story to tell and Debbi recently interviewed him about his testimony. He understands depression. He knows loss–deep, soul-wrenching, questioning God kind of loss.

His web site tells the details of his story:

From 12-17 his life revolved around the streets, he wanted to really live the stuff he rapped about and he did. Gang fights, felony arrests, robberies, him being stabbed 3 times and becoming a statistic by ending up on the notorious Rikers Island at age 18.

And that is why I ask you to open your heart. We do a lot of profiles here at Rest Ministries on women who have ministries out of their home, the clean-cut, those who sing what we define as traditional worship music. But pain is pain. And “Dooch” believes in the same God we do. And as I read through the interview by Debbi, a few people immediately came to mind who could use this man’s faith to strengthen their own. He speaks their “language.” They would read his story and see where he now puts his faith.

I hope you will look forward to it!

Have you ever wondered where God is when no one seems to hold your hand through those tough times? When you cope with health problems, you hold on and fight to stay positive, but there are days when you can easily wonder, “Why bother living when I am facing a serious infection without a hand to hold?”

It was the seventh day of being hospitalized with the flesh eating bacteria and I felt so alone. The couple of people who had visited were friends my husband had emailed or called and pleaded that they stop by to say hello, since the original announcement of my hospitalization had not resulted in any visitors or calls.

Sitting there feeling so alone, I refused to cry. If I started, I knew the tears wouldn’t stop. My husband had to work. My mom was flying to town to help once I was released from the hospital, but now I had to have the big, painful procedure of debriding the dead skin that had turned black on my ankle.

I may live with painful rheumatoid arthritis daily, but the truth is, I am a wimp when it comes to painful procedures where I have no control over someone else’s actions.

The nurse came in and helped the surgeon prepare, and then she grabbed my hand. “I know it is scary, honey, but I am not going anywhere. I will be here the entire time and hold your hand. Squeeze if hurts. Just pretend I am your mom.”

I squeezed when the pain of the procedure became unbearable and tears flowed down my cheeks without a sound, but having that hand to hold made the difference.

So often we feel like life is just not worth living anymore and it is not unusual when you are dealing with a serious infection or illness to have suicidal thoughts. If we have to go through the tough times alone, and the people who know us and love us cannot even be there, why bother hanging on? When you love with daily chronic pain and then additional infections threaten to take your life, why not just give in and end the pain?

Because someone will hold your hand. Pray for a hand to hold, whether it be a stranger or a best friend. In Genesis 21:17, 18 we read that when the fourteen-year-old Ishmael cried, God heard him and sent His angel to tell his mother, “Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand. . .”

And those times when no one appears? God is there to hold your hand.

When you see someone who is hurting, ask them if you can take their hand in some way. You may find purpose in your life today by just holding the door open for one who is struggling, taking a box into the post office for one who is in need. Lift someone up by taking your hand and offering it to someone in need. You may never know the difference you have made. They may have been wondering that very day, “Why bother living?” and you have let them know there is hope.

This song below, “Hold Her Hands,” is written by Carolynn Grace who shares, “I wrote this song about a close friend of mine who went through a stage of depression, but God pulled her through. He is always faithful and his love never fails.”

Lisa Copen has lived with rheumatoid arthritis for nineteen years, and has found purpose in her pain by reaching out to others with chronic illness through her organization that serves those with chronic illness or pain through daily devotionals and other programs at Rest Ministries.

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As the relationships and the world around us spins and tumbles, and as the earth rumbles (lots of earthquakes lately!), I am reminded once again that Jesus’ return continues to grow closer every day.

This is a beautiful video of Chonda Pierce and Bonnie Keen, two amazing women I have been blessed to meet. As they sing People Need the Lord, lift them both up to the Lord as well. Both of these women have gone through extreme moments of deep depression and; have shared their struggles publicly in order to encourage others. (See Chonda Pierce’s story and Bonnie Keen’s).

Can’t see the video?

If you are receiving this by email, the video will not show up. Just click the link of the TITLE of the POST and it will take you directly to our web site so you can watch it there.

A few months ago someone at Rest Ministries asked me what books I would recommend for some different areas of grief, and in looking at my list from years past, I realized sadly that many of them had gone out of print.

So I started compiling a new list. To add to the books I was aware of, I asked a group of Christian women authors of a group I am part of, AWSA (Advanced Writers and Speakers Association). They eagerly told me what books they recommend to people (many of them are also counselors), and what books they had written of specific areas of grief.

Some of these books we have even carried in our Rest Ministries bookstore over the years such as, The Gift of Mourning Glories by Georgia Shaffer about her journey with cancer and subsequent bone marrow transplant. and The Art of Helping by Lauren Littauer Briggs. I am blessed to call them both friends.

So below you will find the list on Christian books that I have compiled on a variety of grief situations, from the loss of a loved one, to divorce and everything in between. If you have read a book you think belongs on this list, please list it in the comments below. Authors who are members of the group I mentioned have AWSA beside their name.

If you are interested in purchasing a link, please use this Amazon search box below. If you click through clicking this link, Rest Ministries will receive a small percentage for referring you and this helps keep us going!

Amazon

Warmly,
Lisa

The Top Christian Books About Grief and Loss

GENERAL LOSS/GRIEF

After the Locusts: Restoring Ruined Dreams, Reclaiming Wasted Years, Jan Coleman
Decembered Grief: Living with Loss While Others are Celebrating, Howard F. Smith
Devotions for the Brokenhearted, Robin Prince Monroe
Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright
For Such a Time as This A Book of Comfort, Lanair G. Williams
For These Tough Times,, Max Lucado
For Those Who Hurt,, Chuck Swindoll
Getting Through the Tough Stuff,, Chuck Swindoll
A Gift of Mourning Glories: Restoring Your Life after Loss Georgia Shaffer, AWSA
Good Grief,, Granger E. Westberg
A Grace Disguised, Gerald Sittser
A Grief Observed,, C.S. Lewis
Grace for Tough Times, Mary J. Nelson
Grief Share, 1999, The Church Initiative
Grief-Work it, Let It Be, S. Leo Richardson
If God is so Good, Why Do I Hurt So Bad?, David Biebel
Living Above Pain: Experiencing Joy in the Midst of Suffering, Alma Edith Welch
On Grief and Grieving,, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler
Prayer Guide for the Brokenhearted: Comfort and Healing on the Way to Wholeness, Michelle McKinney Hammond
The One-Year Book of Hope, Nancy Guthrie
Powerful Prayers for Challenging Times (Coming in October 2012), Jackie M. Johnson AWSA
Shattered Dreams, Larry Crabb
Strength and Hope Through the Seasons of Life, Cindy McMenamin AWSA
Thoughts for the Holidays Finding Permission to Grieve,, Doug Manning
The Twenty-Third Psalm for Those Who Grieve, Carmen Leal AWSA When Women Walk Alone: Finding
When You Can’t Find God: How to Ignite the Power of His Presence, Linda E. Shepherd AWSA
When You Don’t Know What to Pray: How to Talk to God about Anything, Linda E. Shepherd AWSA
Where Is God When It Hurts, Philip Yancey
Words of Comfort for Times of Loss, co-written with Liz Allison and Cecil Murphey

MARRIAGE

Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, Linda Rooks AWSA
That Was Then, This Is Now, This Broken Vessel Restored, Paulete Harper AWSA
When Love Ends, Jackie M. Johnson AWSA

PARENTING

20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge AWSA
Different Dream Parenting: A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs, Jolene Philo, AWSA
Different Dream for My Child: Meditations for parents of critically or chronically ill children, Jolene Philo AWSA
Hope for Families of Children on the Autistic Spectrum, Lynda Young AWSA
Hope for Families of Children with Cancer, Lynda Young AWSA
Hope for Families of Children with Heart Disease, Lynda Young AWSA

LOSS OF LOVED ONE

90 Minutes in Heaven, Don Piper and Cecil Murphey
How to Plan a Funeral and Other Things You Need to Know When a Loved One Dies by Liz Cowen Furman, AWSA
Will I Ever Be Whole Again? Surviving the Death of Someone You Love, Randy Aldrich

SUICIDE

Aftershock: Help, Hope and Healing in the Wake of Suicide, Candy Arrington & David Cox AWSA
Fierce Goodbye, Lloyd and Gwendolyn Carr
Finding Your Way After the Suicide of Someone You Love, David B. Biebel, DMin, & Susanne L. Foster
Grieving a Suicide, A. Hsu
Standing in the Shadow: Help and Encouragement for Suicide Survivors, June Cerza Kolf

DEATH OF CHILD

Jonathan You Left Too Soon, David B. Biebel
Roses in December, Marilyn Heavilin
Too Early Frost (losing child to cancer), Harold Dostervien
The Toughest Days of Grief (multiple losses and holidays, Meg Woodson
Grieving Forward, Suzie Duke (loss her 17-year-old son)
Waiting For Answers: A Parent’s Guide to Grief, Resolution, and Healing, Betsy Haid

WIDOWHOOD

Dare to Trust, Dare to Hope Again, Kari West
From One Widow to Another: Conversations on the New You, Miriam Neff
Light in My Darkest Night, Catherine Marshall
Will I Ever Be Whole Again? Sandra Aldrich AWSA
Reflections of a Grieving Spouse: The Unexpected Journey from Loss to Renewed Hope, H. Norman Wright

INFERTILITY/LOSS OF BABY

Beside the Empty Cradle: Finding Peace with Childlessness, Pamela Sonnenmoser AWSA
Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby, Janet Thompson AWSA
Empty Arms (miscarriage), Pam Vredevelt
Hannah’s Prayer, Jennifer Saake
Morning Will Come (infertility, miscarriage, stillborn, early infant death) Sandy Day AWSA
Standing on the Promises (a chapter on infertility) Leslie Vernick, AWSA

LOSS OF HEALTH

90 Minutes in Heaven, Don Piper and Cecil Murphey
A Path Through Suffering: Discovering the Relationship Between God’s Mercy and Our Pain, Elisabeth Elliott
Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer, Janet Thompson AWSA
Joni Eareckson Tada–any of her books
Mosaic Moments: Devotions For The Chronically Ill, Lisa Copen AWSA
Trusting God Even When Life Hurts, Jerry Bridges
When God Weeps: wHy Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty, Joni Eareckson Tada
Why Can’t I Make People Understand? Discovering the Validation Those with Chronic Illness Seek and Why, Lisa Copen, AWSA

CAREGIVERS

Ambushed, Grace: Help & Hope on the Caregiving Journey, Shelly Beach AWSA
Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers, Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk AWSA
Blessings And Prayers for Caregivers, Annetta E. Dellinger and Karen Boerger AWSA
A Caregiver’s Survival Guide: How to Stay Healthy When Your Loved One Is Sick, Kay Marshall Strom
My Parents, My Children: Spiritual Help for Caregivers, Cecil Murphey
Precious Lord Take My Hand: Meditations for Caregivers, Shelly Beach AWSA
The Twenty-Third Psalm For Caregivers, Carmen Leal AWSA
Walking Together Through Illness: Twelve Steps for Caregivers and Care Receivers, Wanda Scott Bledsoe, Milt Bledsoe
When Someone You Love No Longer Remembers, Cecil Murphey
Give Us This Day: Daily Hope for Caregivers, Martha Sparks

WHEN A FRIEND IS HURTING

The Art of Helping What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting, Lauren Littauer Briggs
Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend, Lisa Copen, AWSA
Comforting Those Who Grieve: A Guide for Helping Others, Doug Manning
The Complete Guide to Crisis & Trauma Counseling: What to Do and Say When It Matters Most! H. Norman Wright
Helping Those in Grief: A Guide to Help You Care for Others, H. Norman Wright
How to Help a Heartbroken Friend, David B. Biebel
Ministering to the Mourning: A Practical Guide for Pastors, Church Leaders, and Other Caregivers, David Wiersbe, Warren W. Wiersbe

MISC

RAPE: Forgiving the Dead Man Walking, Debbie Morris

UNPLANNED PREGNANCY: Deliver Me: Hope, Help, & Healing through True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy by Dianne E. Butts

After a long period of continued decline with my health the disappointment of my situation seemed to stamp itself upon me. There is something terrible about continually expecting disappointment, always preparing for more problems. It’s like anxiously awaiting rain under a stormy sky.

I believe disappointment has the power to imprint itself upon us, because even after I saw gradual improvement with my condition, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Sometimes it feels as if the nerve endings of our soul is frayed. Continued friction from additional hardships and trials can leave us in a state of mind where we are constantly on the alert for trouble, always expecting it. Our fright and flight response is in overdrive and it needs but a small trigger to set it off again.

Chronic illness takes a terrible toll on the mind, emotions, the soul of the afflicted. After long years of wear and tear we can be as beat up on the inside as we are on the outside. The soul grows weary from the constant barrage of hardship, so much so that it is hard to keep hoping for better days, brighter skies, and storm-free weather in our future.

Constant disappointment can also cause wear and tear on our relationships with friends and family. Plans often go awry, hopes go unfulfilled, and like a fish out of water gasping for air we struggle to find and keep hope in the midst of a long list of disappointments.

We can encourage ourselves and lessen the sting of disappointment by remembering what we have already overcome and by holding onto the victories that have come our way. We can constantly remind ourselves that our present distress and past hardships are not the final word, God holds our future in His hand, and He may yet have great things in store for us in this life, and certainly in the life to come.

Fellow Christians, you are not alone in your suffering and disappointment. Your brothers and sisters throughout the world are enduring hardship of one kind or another. Do not lose heart. We are in this together, and we will finish the race together, even as God lifts us up, carries, pushes, pulls, and empowers us to move forward in our personal and collective race in spite of disappointments.

Prayer: Dear Lord, life sometimes steals our thunder with continued disappointments, we can get so frayed and worn out, but give us strength for the race, and never let us forget that You are with us all the way. Amen.

About the Author:
Karlton Douglas lives in Ohio with his lovely wife. He is the author of the Kindle book “Chronic Illness” available in Amazon’s Kindle Store.

You can now read this on your Kindle. Find out more at http://TodaysDevotionOnKindle.com

Do you sometimes feel like life has handed you and endless string of disappointments? What helps you to move forward in spite of your disappointments?

From my journal during a recent health battle I wrote the following. . .

The nausea and back pain are getting worse. All I want to do is sit by my fireplace, put some heat on my back and open the Word. I love how the Word instantly calms my anxiousness and restores my inner peace. Why is it then that I only seem to read my Bible and pray when I’m sick, tired, or frustrated?

Dear God, I know how important it is for me to spend time with You daily, but yet I do not do it. I know that when I do make my quiet time with You a priority my day starts off better, even if the day ends up challenging. I know that when I do not seek You, my attitude and temper seems to fly everywhere.

God, I don’t understand why it is I wait until I’m in a perilous condition before I decide to turn to you. Forgive me using You as my needs warrant. I will strive to spend more time with You because I love You and want to get to know You more!

For me, one ”good” thing about being ill is that I am reminded at how much I love being in the Word. When I’m sick, the first thing I do is snuggle up and open my Bible. Every time I tell myself, “Why not do this every day?!” In one sense, God uses my illness and health struggles to bring me back into a healthy relationship with Him. I don’t believe God causes me to be sick, but He does allow it because He knows it will make our relationship stronger.

Whenever I used to read this Scripture passage about how “good it is to be afflicted” I would say, “Whatever!” But now, I do believe the psalmist was right. Before, when my life was perfect and healthy, I did not seek out God. But now, because every day is a challenge, I turn to God much more often; His Word and Strength comforts me. May He comfort you as well!

Prayer: Dear God, I’m sorry for only coming to you when I need you. Help me to grow in my relationship with You as I daily strive to spend more time in the Word and in prayer. Amen.

About the author
Bridget Gazlay resides in beautiful West Michigan. She struggles with fibromyalgia, endometriosis, IBS, kidney stones, arthritis and migraines. She works full time but writes and designs fabric art on the side. Bridget’s prayer is for readers who come across her writing or artwork to see that she allows, “God’s creation to be my inspiration.” Find out more about Bridget at: www.pfccreations.com.

You can now read this on your Kindle. Find out more at http://TodaysDevotionOnKindle.com

How has being chronically ill brought you closer to God?

So we turn to our church for guidance, for acceptance, for unconditional support during the most difficult time in our life.

But churches are made up of people—all of us imperfect. And our church does not always give us what we need; in fact, sometimes, the people say things that hurt us even more.

“Everything will work out fine. Just keep praying.”
“If you just came to Bible study I am sure getting your mind off the pain would make it all go away.”
“You need to keep praying for healing. Remember that verse when Jesus asked the disabled man if he wanted to get well?”

We asked our readers, What would you like your pastor to know about living with a chronic illness and your need to serve others, or be ministered to, within the body?

Here are some of your heart-felt replies.

Please feel free to add your own comments below about what you would like your pastor to know. Remember, this is not a forum to vent about everything your church did wrong, but rather, honestly and kindly tell us what you would like your pastor to know about illness, your life, etc. so that he and the church body can better minister to those with chronic illness.

• I know I am young and you may not believe I am feeling well enough for leadership, but the Lord has worked in my life in so many ways through my illness and I am bursting to be a part of an “illness ministry” to encourage others. Please make some time to sit down and let me share my new calling with you. —Renee
• It is very difficult for me to get to church due to the fact that the services are about three hours long and I have problems sitting for long periods of time. When I come, I have to choose between worship or the sermon. No one ever calls or checks to see why I am not there and I used to be one of their Sunday school teachers. I think they have a problem with the fact that I am one of those that have not been healed. —Doris
• Every time we have gone to church and we have gone for prayer and I have sought out help, people keep telling me one of two things: “Patty, by His Stripes, You are healed. . . You must have faith; if you have faith then you will be healed,” or “You must not be praying hard enough.” I can’t tell you how much that hurts, and how I keep feeling like a failure when I am told that. —Patty
• Some of us simply want to rest confidently in the Lord and rely on Him for provision during long periods of ill health. I want rest, calm and privacy—not to be cut off from kindly connection with people—but not to have knocks on my door at all hours of the day and night, either! —Caron
• There needs to be a ministry devoted entirely to helping others: meals to the woman who just had a baby or rides to doctor appointments. Please help me out by seeing past the “you look fine, so you must feel fine” mentality. —Bridget
• Those who live with chronic illness need understanding first, love second, and challenge third. There are times when an ill person can’t function, and the church and its leaders need to be understanding, prayerful and available—for solving practical needs as well as spiritual counsel. —Kay
• Find out limitations, hindrances to participation. Ask, “What barriers, hindrances are there that prevent you from coming to church, worshipping with us, participating fully?” or “What can we do to help you to be able to participate more fully in church life?”
• Be supportive, take me seriously, not down-playing my illness and yet not drawing too much attention to it either. Suggest helpful tapes, books and articles that help me keep my eyes focused on God.
• I’d like people in the church to ask how they can help me in practical ways and offer some suggestions of what they could do, such as: rides to doctors, doing shopping, baking or housecleaning.
• Invite me to activities even if I probably can’t attend and when inviting, give as much details re the proceedings, program, length, environment, etc as you can. Don’t be hurt if I can’t come.
  —Marguerite
• Even though I went through physical therapy and rehabilita-tion, I was unable to continue working. This was very devastating. In the months following the accident, I learned to rely on my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for comfort.
• My husband was also disabled and this caused a greater stress. I was most grieved because my church family didn’t visit and the telephone calls were few. Don’t just tell people you’re praying for them. Come pray with them. Don’t ask if there’s anything you can do, come prepared to do!
• Don’t ask if there is a financial need; think of the expenses you have in your household and, if they don’t have an income, there has to be a need. Don’t think that because they aren’t complaining they aren’t hurting. Don’t tell them to “give their problems to God.” Take that person and their problems in your hands and hold them up before God. —Wanda
• Please don’t discuss details of my illness with others without my expressed permission. When someone asks how I’m doing, they don’t need to know that I now have a catheter. Ask me, “When others ask, what shall I tell them?” I will be happy to tell you how much information to share. —Rev. Koiv
• My pastor feels very uncomfortable with people who cannot work hard and “Go! Go! Go!” for the Lord. His sermons are filled with “You must do this and you must do that!” I leave the service beaten up in spirit because my body is unable to “Go! Go! Go!” I fight depression because of the chronic pain and lack of sleep so I’m not “Happy! Happy! Happy!” all of the time. He feels that if you don’t “whistle while you work” then you better get on your knees before God! (Like I could get down on my knees and then get up again?) —Judy
• My church seems to operate under the misconception that a person who is disabled by a chronic illness, as I am, doesn’t need to serve the church. They are content with my just showing up for worship when I am able.
• I feel a compelling need to serve my Lord and my church. But I am no longer physically able to fill any of their traditional roles offered as service opportunities. When suggesting possible alternatives, I am met by rejection where it might cause someone else more work, or they just can’t see out of ‘the box’, or simply patted on the head and told to rest and not worry. This makes me feel useless, helpless, and a “lesser” person in the church – a burden.
• My disability makes it extremely difficult for me to counteract these obstacles – I need my pastor or another leader to champion my cause for me. I need him to teach/motivate others in the church to extend a hand so that I might participate as fully as God allows. —Jean
• As my pain grew worse over time, I realized that I could not do all the ministry that I wanted to do and had been doing; I am the pastor’s wife and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It was difficult for me to admit to our congregation that it was physically necessary for me to relieve myself of certain duties since I appeared fine. I periodically missed church, but I tried to go no matter how I felt.
• As time went on, I decided to give up areas of ministry: I quit teaching; I quit singing in the choir; I quit being the secretary. I stood up in a service and, by way of testimony, explained my situation. The people were very supportive and did not look down on me because I was withdrew myself from ministry. Our church was encouraged to get behind me and hold me up. My (pastor) husband made sure that he provided updates on my progress. It was important to me that he validated my illness and supported my decisions.
• It is difficult when someone steps down from ministry in order to attend to the physical needs of their bodies. But God has told us that this is his Temple and we are to take care of it. God sent new families to our church during my time of hiatus from ministry. My husband was very influential in plugging them into the vacant ministries. Because he supported me and my decision to remove myself, others were given the opportunity to serve the Lord and I have been able to focus on my relationship with the Lord more through this time. —Pamela

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

“The promises of God are what give us hope in the midst of affliction. . .” Pastor Thorn

As we approach Easter, I understand that many people are feeling it hard to rejoice. If God is love and cares about us, why are we going through such physical pain and other hardships?

I recently came across a sermon at entitled “Trials (Part 1)” given by Pastor Joe Thorn at Redeemer Fellowship. It looked like a good one and I asked Debbi Farmer if she would listen and let me know her thoughts. Below is her review on this podcast sermon that you can listen to here on Trials. It is an MP3 file.

If you hear a fantastic sermon on suffering, illness, pain, etc. that is available to listen to online, feel free to write up what it is about and why it touched you in a couple of paragraphs and we will consider sharing it!

Lisa Copen

_______________________________________

By Debbi Farmer

Redeemer Fellowship is in St. Charles, IL and it is a gospel-centered church. Their web site states, “we believe Christianity is better than a list of rules, and more than believing the right things. The Christian life is a life transformed by the gospel, experienced in community, and lived out for the glory of God and the good of our neighbors.”

Pastor Joe Thorn’s sermon “Trials” (Part 1), is based on James 1 and in it he talks about suffering.

His key points about trials and suffering are:

1. It strengthens our faith
2. It deepens our relationship with Christ
3. It makes us mature as we trust in Him

James 1:2-8 says,

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

Most all of us have endured severe trials, suffering, pain and affliction in our lives.

What kind of questions do you ask yourself about your pain and suffering?

1. “What is God doing in my life?”
2. How can we find joy in our trials?
3. Can our inflictions be used in our lives?
4. Is my suffering in my life for a divine purpose?
5. Do we take all our trials to the Lord in prayer?
6. Is sin the reason I am going through this trial?
7. If we are to by joyous in our trails than what is joy?

What is this sermon about?

I believe you will find his speaking style easy to listen to and encouraging, regardless of what you are going through today. Here are some of the highlights by Pastor Thorn.

• Did you know that our trials aren’t meant to test our discipline, but our dependency on Christ?
• Trials are like storms and we have to weather that storm. It is the wind in that storm that will ultimately drive you to where you need to go!
• We are to be joyous in trials. . . but what is joy?
• Joy is not happy, bubbly, or smiling through suffering. Joy is the “Holy Hopeful Happiness” that we have in God and His promises! We look to God as our redeemer and trust him to make it all work together for our good.
• Joy is theological not superficial. Joy is hopeful; it is embracing the promises of God.
• God will not leave you or forsake you and He will cause you to grow in your faith.
• Your interaction through the trial can get you to the joy of the Lord.
• Testing of your faith through trials produces steadfastness and leads you to maturity.
• Every child longs to grow up! As children of the Lord, we strive to persevere without falling, but growing up takes time and maturity.
• You will face trials in your life! Trials are the school that God uses to test your faith! Trials prove your dependency on Christ.
• Can you rejoice in grief?
• Your faith is the most precious thing to hold onto in this life!
• You will not be defeated by the circumstances of your life! You cannot go on, on your own, but you can in Christ!
• You need to rest in Christ! We need to continue to grow in Christ. The whole body of Christ needs to grow in maturity.
• The church must become mature and complete. How can we do this? We need wisdom (insight from God)! If you lack wisdom ask God.
• How do I make sense of my life right now? Are you shouting because this trial was not in our plan for life? Remember we are to seek God’s will!
• God is our father and ready to give all good things to his children. Don’t be surprise by the manner that God gives you His wisdom! So if you pray for rain, carry an umbrella! Believe it! Expect an answer when you pray. Everyone is called to believe in Jesus! Trust Him. Pray!

Why I enjoyed this sermon

This sermon helped me discover how to have joy in the trials of my life. I hope that it will do the same for you! Why don’t you tune in and see if you discover why your trials are so important in your growing faith in Christ? The sermon was a blessing in my life today!

Interested in listening to Part 2, the pastor’s second sermon on trials? You can find it here.

Debbi Farmer is a part-time writer, mother and wife and loves to read! She is praying for all today to persevere through their trials as they learn to lean on Jesus!

A few months ago a friend of mine, Linda Evans Shepherd, announced to our group of Christian women writers that she was starting a blog specifically to reach out to those who were considering suicide. I have to say that anything Linda touches is done well and with complete passion and heart behind it. Her most recent web site, Finding God Daily, has a wonderful collection of articles about all the places we can find God!

But would I be able to make a commitment to write an article or two a month about suicide? What do I know that may encourage someone else? And I just have a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology, while many of the writers are professional counselors.

But then I got an email from someone at Rest Ministries pouring her heart out. . . about taking her life. And all those statistics about chronic pain or physical illness being the cause of about 70 percent of suicides kept popping up in my mind in the next few days (Source: Mackenzie TB, Popkin MK: “Suicide in the medical patient.” Intl J Psych in Med 17:3-22, 1987).

So I prayed about it. And God said, “Do it.”

I emailed Linda and volunteered and was accepted as a writer for this new amazing blog Thinking About Suicide. It just kicked off last week on Wednesday, March 21, 2012. Why a Wednesday? Linda explains in one of the blog posts How to Live Through Hump Day that Wednesday is the day when most suicides occur.

In just a little over a week there is a wonderful growing collection of blog posts by this team of writers. Recently, author Karen Boerger wrote about Help For Chronic Pain With Suicidal Thoughts.

Our hope is that through a collection of various articles, when people search the internet about “thinking about suicide” this web site will come up, and not only will one find hope for the moment, but also a Christ-based resource that will provide answers about where that real, enduring hope comes from.

Please make a note to yourself that this blog exists and if you, or someone you know, needs a resource to turn to through a difficult time, visit it for a pick-me-up. If you are seriously considering suicide, I urge you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) without delay.

Also, if there is something you are personally experiencing with hopelessness and would like me to consider addressing it in a future blog post over at Thinking About Suicide, please let me know.

My first article will appear on Wednesday, April 4, 2012. “Why Bother Living When I Am Facing a Serious Infection Without a Hand to Hold?”

If you are having a rough day, here are a few resources on our web site that discuss suicide– a tough but very real topic.

• When You Are Tempted to Speed Up The Trip to Heaven
• I Forgot: My Life is Not My Own, Christian Author Shares About Her Attempted Suicide
• Assisted Suicide Due to Pain of Illness and How it Fits With Our Belief in God

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

By Lisa Copen

A walk in closet I have not walked into for . . . years. My husband uses most of it, but my clothes–in about 10 different sizes–sit on the bars. The wire baskets hold old t-shirts. An Old Navy shirt, size small, mocks me with the year 2004 on it.

The day previously I started throwing them into bags. I have become sick of the clutter all over my house and have been purging for months. But this closet has overwhelmed me. I had no plans to take care of the closet this weekend. . . and I have discovered that this works best for me. This way, any effort is a step in the right direction, but I don’t have to use up all my energy on it. I can pace myself.

But Saturday morning I started bagging items up, and in less than two hours my husband took over 30 grocery bags to the thrift store. When you still have outfits you recall put on layaway during college, it is okay to let them go when you are in your forties.

Sunday. I could walk into the closet now. The night before my husband started organizing too and commented that I had lots of shoes in the back of the closet. Real shoes. I have worn only two pairs of shoes in over 10 years–literally. Nothing in there will ever fit on my feet again.

I start pulling them out. Most are not even shoes I like. They were season 2 shoes of rheumatoid arthritis. They were “maybe this will work” shoes that never worked. Slippers my mom bought me. Sandals I could never wear more than a few steps. And then I pulled out my wedding shoes. How did I ever get my feet into these? They are flat, but so narrow. I only wore them a few hours. At that time my doctor thought there still may be hope that my feet could improve. They never improved. They got worse. . . Much worse.

In the past two weeks in fact a new nodule has grown out of the bottom of my foot, so there is nowhere to put weight on, on the balls of my feet–the inside or outside are of my sole. I need to see the foot doctor and hear what he has to say.

I go back to the closet and lean against my clothes, feeling around underneath them for more shoes. I start to fall, I can’t regain my balance and I half fall, half ease down onto a stack of my husband’s pants. I sit there. I am not able to get up alone. My husband and son are outside. I wait. It is actually so quiet. Now I understand why the cat likes to come in here.

I reach over and pick up an old journal that was uncovered. I randomly open to a page. 1996.

My grandmother, who lived with severe feet deformities, died the week I wrote it. I write how I miss her, but now she is no longer in any pain, she is dancing in heaven.

“Hey, what are you doing?” my husband appears.
“I fell,” I reply.

He asks me how he can help, I grab his hands and say, “One, two, three,” but I do not rise. I collapse back on the clothes. “Here, let’s try again,” he says. I grab his hands, “I can’t. I just can’t.” My knee is throbbing. My wrists don’t bend so I have no way to push myself up. “I guess. . . get me a chair.” I say. ” I can pull myself up.”

He leaves and then comes back with a chair. My grandmother’s chair from her 1950s table I have. I try to position my legs so I can pull up, but the closet is too crowded. “I can’t. I need a minute,” I say. “I am so tired.”

I rest my head on his flannel shirts. The tears start to leak out . . . I can’t help it. my husband stands there feeling helpless. He can’t even reach me. I sit and cry.

. . . About the shoes. About the me who no longer exists, I have long ago donated the “cute” shoes, so I am not grieving that gal who wore them, but the gal who still had hope that she could even fit into these shoes. I grieve for the naive girl who wrote of her grandmother’s pain not realizing how much worse her own would get.

I cry because I have fallen and I can’t get up! I am living a bad commercial! And that here in front of me sits my grandmother’s chair. And even with that I cannot figure out how to get off the floor of my closet.

“Go ahead and take the chair,” I say. He moves it away and I grab the door frame. “I am going to try to pull myself to my knees and then help pull me up.”

I grasp and gasp as I put weight on kneecaps that have pieces of bone and calcium deposits floating around on them. The knee that was drained last week but feels just as badly. He holds my hand, I count to three, and I cry out as I arise. Tears fall, but I am up. He holds me, and I give in for a minute.

“Okay, I will finish bagging this up and then we will go. . .” I trail off.

We will go. We will try to do something fun that is not haunted by these memories. I will use the tool of distraction to step away from the emotional pain. I want to rest in his arms and sob, but I don’t want to start because then I may not be able to stop. I don’t wish to ruin everyone’s day just because I am hurting. I go to the living room and put on my orthopedic black clunky shoes.

About the Author:
Lisa Copen is an author, speaker, and the founder of Rest Ministries which serves the chronically ill. She lives in San Diego with her husband and 9-year-old son. She is currently writing a book for Christian moms who live with chronic illness. If you are interested in sharing your stories, feedback and confessions for the book, visit her Facebook page at http://MomWithIllness.com .

“But if all of you are prophesying, and unbelievers or people who don’t understand these things come into your meeting, they will be convicted of sin and judged by what you say. As they listen, their secret thoughts will be exposed, and they will fall to their knees and worship God, declaring, ‘God is truly here among you’” (1 Corinthians 14:24-25, NLT).

God used that passage of Scripture over six years to speak to me. He told me that my writing would bring people to Christ! I was searching and searching for an excuse to find a reason to write because writing was too difficult for me.
I was so broken.

My faith was not where it needed to be. My best intentions were a waste compared to my own disobedience and lack of trust.

I know what it’s like to experience pain,fear, abandonment, and the destruction of every hope imaginable. I know what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night and not think I’m going to make it to morning.

I know what it’s like to not let the tears fall because it would open the raw wound on my face from the eczema that took the all the skin off for more than a year.

I know what it’s like to be admitted into the hospitalfor what doctors called a mystery. I know what it’s like to gain over one hundred pounds from a little nasty medication called prednisone.

Add everything up from the 10+ years I suffered and you have one broken girl who just wanted her Abba Daddy to heal her. Ten years of asking, “if you heal me I’ll do ANYTHING.”

And He has!!

And I see you, yeah, you. Hiding behind the pew of a church, in the grocery store, or in the backseat of a strangers car. Not knowing. Not trusting. Not hoping.

There is hope.

There is redemption.

There is healing from pain.

Give God your hurts. Give God your destiny.

You. Are. Not. A. Failure.

Alcohol is not the answer, so don’t even turn to it. Faith isn’t the answer either. It is hope and trust mixed with obedience. Trust in the one who saves.

Trust in the one who created You.

“When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, ‘I am El-Shaddai—‘God Almighty.’ Serve me faithfully and live a blameless life. I will make a covenant with you, by which I will guarantee to give you countless descendants.’ At this, Abram fell face down on the ground” (Genesis 17:1-3, NLT).

Fall.

Fall hard.

Fall to your knees.

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:8-9, NLT).

Are you willing to wait?

Come to repentance.

While you’re waiting.

Come to repentance.

Whether you’re 9 or 99 years old.

Come to repentance.

Whether you’re hurt, scared, or afraid.

Come to repentance.

When you don’t feel like it.

Come to repentance.

Tear your hearts.

Come to repentance.

Fall to your knees.

Come to repentance.

Sooner or later will come a day when you will won’t have a choice but to fall on your knees and worship God.

Come to repentance, now!

Prayer: Dear Jesus, That is why you say, “turn to you now while there is time.” Help us to give you our hearts. Help us to come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. Don’t let us tear our clothing but our hearts instead. May we return to you, our God, for you are merciful and compassionate, slow to angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to relent and not to punish. Amen.

Renee Johnson Fisher is a spirited speaker and writer to twenty-somethings. She graduated from Biola University and worked with nationally known Christian speakers and writers at Outreach Events. She is the author of Faithbook of Jesus: Connecting with Jesus Daily and Not Another Dating Book: A Devotional Guide to All Your Relationships. She and her husband Marc live in Escondido, CA where they hope to adopt a big dog soon. Visit her web site today at http://www.devotionaldiva.com.