Dominic Cook

By Debbie Farmer

Recently I read a letter from a young man named Dominic Cook (also known as “Dooch”) who uses his pain to encourage others with his music. His testimony was such a blessing to me and I am going to share this interview with you now and hope that you too can also receive a blessing today.

Dominic Cook (AKA: “Dooch”) Please tell us about yourself and how you got into the music industry.

Where to start, where to start. . . Well, I’m a 27-year-old, husband, married, and going on 8 years. I have been a Christian going on 7 years now and a father of 5. My youngest Joshua, passed away at 2 months old–a year ago.

I have been doing music since I was 8 years old. It was the first thing I wanted to do and has been the only thing since. I spent my teenage years in New York City where I worked in the music business and learned a lot before I moved back to Virginia. [You can read his complete bio here on his web site, he has quite an amazing testimony!]

How did you get your stage name?

My stage name, “Dooch,” is actually a life long nick name that was given to me as a baby. But my alias, “Hope Boy,” is a name that I picked up as I’ve been known to give people hope. In the streets the drug dealers are known as “d-boys” which means dope boys because of what they sell. I see myself as the opposite of them as a hope boy, one who gives out hope instead of dope.

What kind of music do you perform?

The kind of music I do is rap to say the least. I desire my music to inspire people and give them hope. To comfort the broken and hurting, to be a voice for the voice-less and to stand up for the oppressed.

Can you give us some personal background on yourself and your battle with clinical depression?

I have been a Christian for almost 7 years now and this is when I first noticed my battle with being melancholy. However, I believe that this has been a struggle for much longer. While a teenager, I was addicted to alcohol, weed, and cigarettes so I think that the struggles were masked.

When I became a Christian I immediately became sober and that’s when I realized what I was dealing with. Every day has been a literal fight and battle for me, as every day either started off gray or quickly turned gray. I was heavily into the Word of God and that is what keep me grounded, hoping for a brighter day, but the “melancholy” soon affected all areas of my life.

It has affected my work, relationships, self esteem, plus more, and for all these years I never went to the doctor. I just thought it was normal, I never thought it was depression. A year ago our 2-month-old son passed away suddenly and this brought my wife into a place of depression. This ultimately caused both of us to receive help. This is when I was finally diagnosed with chronic depression.

How has music helped you?

When I started recording music that was true and real to me and my life it became a avenue of release and healing to me. I was able to get stuff out and it brought healing to me to be able to do that. It encouraged me when I saw others who heard the music cry and talk of how they deal or dealt with the same things and how my music helped them.

It made me believe that even my pain and depression could and would be used for God’s glory and for good.

How do you think your music might be able to help someone else?

I think it’s hard for people who deal with depression because of all of the myths about it and the “cooties” that people who deal with depression have. So a lot of people who suffer from depression are too ashamed or scared to admit to it that they suffer from it. Especially for Christians having depression is seen as taboo and it’s frowned upon so most people who suffer from it feel as if they can’t tell anyone or they will be ostracized, frowned upon and judged.

So, I think my music will meet these people where they are–both believer and un-believer alike–and let them know that God loves them, He is here for them, and they are special.

They have a purpose, they are someone.

It will let them know that they are not alone, they are loved and it’s okay, that they can reach out for help.

Can you tell us about your song and video and where our readers here at Rest Ministries can check your music out?

My latest song and video is called Drowning, [you can see video at end of this article] and I wrote this song a few months after my son passed, as I was walking through a very dark season. I felt as if I was drowning, I hated my life, I disliked everything and everyone and just wanted life to be over, so I poured my heart out in this song–everything I was feeling and dealing with–and just cried out to God, asking Him to help me. It was a true expression of my heart, something I equate to a modern day psalm of sort.

You can check out my music at www.youtube.com/godisdope and you can follow me at www.doochakahb.tumblr.com

Can you share some of your inspiration?

Yes. These are my two “life verses” so to say. I believe that my life is a letter written for all to see for the glory of God and whether I deal with depression or something else and He comforts me, He will use that to comfort others.

2 Corinthians 1:1-7 3 Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For as the sufferings of Christ overflow to us, so through Christ our comfort also overflows. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation. If we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is experienced in your endurance of the same sufferings that we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that as you share in the sufferings, so you will share in the comfort.

2 Corinthians 3:3 The Message:
Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it—not with ink, but with God’s living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives—and we publish it.

Wow. . .

This interview and your video are such a heartfelt blessing. I cried through the video! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are a remarkable young man and your testimony will help so many. May the Lord hold you close and comfort you.

Thank you so very much for your time and for doing this interview. I would like to leave you with a quote that I love which is in Latin. “Spes Mea in Deo” that means “My hope is in God.”

May your hope be in God, who can and will take your pain, depression, sufferings and hurt and use it for His glory and to comfort and minister to others.

Debbi Farmer, a part-time writer in North Carolina, lives a song-filled life now with her family thanks to the Lord’s wonderful and sufficient grace after suffering from severe clinical depression herself. Today she suffers from several illnesses including Fibromyalgia, but the Lord is good and has helped her face the trials of life and even waddle through them. She wishes she could give you all a cheerful hug today and share with you a song of hope.

Dooch - AKA "Hope Boy"

By Debbi Farmer

Eventually, we will all feel blue. We will have days, even weeks when we are sad. Many can rebound from these emotions–but many cannot.

We face tragedies and struggles that can turn our world completely upside down. And sadly there are times also when physical changes in our body can cause clinical depression even when life appears to the world to be running smoothly. When you have depression, it interferes with daily life and causes pain for both you and those who care about you.

Depression is a common but serious illness.

Many people with a depressive illness never even seek treatment. Helping someone with depression can be a challenge.

If someone in your life has depression, they may feel helpless and you may wonder what to do. You can help the person you care about recognize the symptoms of depression and get treatment that will help them.

People with depression may not recognize or even acknowledge that they are depressed. They may not even be aware of the signs and symptoms of depression, or they may feel too hopeless to address the issue. People with depression may think that how they feel is normal and not the result of a mental health condition. All too often, people feel ashamed about their depression and mistakenly believe they should be able to overcome it with willpower alone. But depression seldom gets better without treatment and may indeed get worse.

If you are in this same boat, believe me when I say the boat is full as many more are suffering today also.

Debbi Farmer, a part-time writer in North Carolina, lives a song-filled life now with her family thanks to the Lord’s wonderful and sufficient grace after suffering from severe clinical depression herself. Today she suffers from several illnesses including Fibromyalgia, but the Lord is good and has helped her face the trials of life and even waddle through them. She wishes she could give you all a cheerful hug today and share with you a song of hope.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Tomorrow . . . we will be featuring an article about a rapper.

You heard it right! A rapper! Dominic Cook (also known as “Dooch”) has quite a story to tell and Debbi recently interviewed him about his testimony. He understands depression. He knows loss–deep, soul-wrenching, questioning God kind of loss.

His web site tells the details of his story:

From 12-17 his life revolved around the streets, he wanted to really live the stuff he rapped about and he did. Gang fights, felony arrests, robberies, him being stabbed 3 times and becoming a statistic by ending up on the notorious Rikers Island at age 18.

And that is why I ask you to open your heart. We do a lot of profiles here at Rest Ministries on women who have ministries out of their home, the clean-cut, those who sing what we define as traditional worship music. But pain is pain. And “Dooch” believes in the same God we do. And as I read through the interview by Debbi, a few people immediately came to mind who could use this man’s faith to strengthen their own. He speaks their “language.” They would read his story and see where he now puts his faith.

I hope you will look forward to it!

I recently read the book, Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Edward Welch. Among other things, the author suggested getting in to a “manna rhythm” of daily living. That means several things to me.

The Old Testaments relates how God provided manna for the Israelites in the wilderness, giving only enough for that day except on the day before the Sabbath, thus teaching them to rely on Him daily. Tomorrow’s provisions were not given today.

As I deal with depression and other problems, living in a manna rhythm is just that–trusting God for today’s provisions and not worrying or wondering about future days. As I go through each day, God’s manna will provide what I need to make it through, whether it’s the ability to enjoy activities of this life, strength to carry out responsibilities or ministries, or perseverance to endure pain or suffering. Whatever the circumstances, God’s manna will meet my needs.

This manna is not only provided through circumstances however, but also in the person of Christ Himself. Jesus says that He is my heavenly bread of life.

Living my life in a manna rhythm means spending time with Christ–communicating with him in prayer, listening to Him speak through the Scripture, and praying for faith to act on His power within me. I am blessed with the wonderful provision of the person of Christ as well as whatever I need to go through each day (2 Peter 1:3,4).

I am quite ready for my breakfast each morning. But as I begin my day with earthly food, I want to begin it with my heavenly food as well–time with Jesus and a declaration in faith that I have all I need for today, whatever it may bring, and walking in that faith until tomorrow’s manna is given.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, help me to live each day in a manna rhythm, knowing You can and will meet my every need. Amen.

About the author:
Bronlynn Spindler lives in VA and is blessed to have the support and encouragement of a wonderful husband and three grown daughters. God’s grace and strength have brought her through thyroid cancer and continue to sustain her through ongoing back pain, depression, headaches, multiple sensitivities, and fibromyalgia. You may view her blog of devotionals at www.aplaceofsprings57.blogspot.com.

You can now read this on your Kindle. Find out more at http://TodaysDevotionOnKindle.com

What have you do to live one day at a time with your illness? What do you do or tell yourself to stay in that one-day mindset?

In honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Day, today, May 4th, we offer you this inspirational article from a military wife. Thank you to all the families who serve our country daily–including the spouses and children of the men and women who are soldiers. In honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Day remember to say thank you, not just to a solider, but to his or her spouse too!

Lynn Burchfield

I’m currently enduring a very challenging deployment, but I want to tell you about the amazing gifts from God that have not only helped me through, but brought my family back on a path to Him.

Our son was born in April 2009 and I could not imagine being any happier. Unfortunately, an upcoming deployment was looming and I couldn’t help but become angry and despondent. My husband had decided to accept an opportunity to serve overseas with the Multinational Force and Observers (MFO) in the Sinai Peninsula. Now, I’d heard him speak of this deployment many times before, hoping he could someday be a part of it.

I screamed, “But why now? What horrible timing!” There were many tearful discussions and arguments, but deep down I knew he had to do this. After the initial shock, I surprised myself with my understanding and patience. Was that God’s first gift during this difficult time?

In a few months I was to be a single mother of sorts, so I had to just take it day by day. After my husband left, I really didn’t have time to be upset, but somehow I found time! I had evenings alone to get angry and think about all that daddy was missing. I cried a lot, but my tears were always erased by the most amazing baby. I cherished our times together rocking, kissing, cuddling, nursing, singing, giggling. . . the blessings he brings me are endless. His love kept me going. “. . . weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5, NLT).

This is where I first started to see why God had given me a son when He did.

The diagnosis

Just when I thought I could make it through, life threw me a curve ball to end 2009. At the end of November, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Here I was with a 7-month-old baby, a husband a world away, and a family states away. Again, I cried “But why now? What horrible timing! Why me?”

MS is such a disease of the unknown. Every patient is different and all the doctors could tell me was that only time will tell how I fair. Here I am, the one who likes to plan everything and whose only fear is the unknown, and I’m marked with a disease that could eventually disable me. . . or maybe not! Life sped out of control. I went in the hospital for a 3-day steroid treatment meaning I had to stop nursing my son cold turkey. I had to learn about giving myself shots three days per week and I had to break the news to my husband, my family, my friends.

I thought the stress alone would kill me

Somehow I had the strength to carry on, to be positive and try not to worry about the unknown. I again surprised myself at how I was dealing with a difficult situation. This time I really started to see what God’s plan was. I knew I had to be the mom God wanted me to be and it was through God’s gift of our son that provided me the strength and comfort I needed during a tough time. I saw this circle of life and thanked Him for an abundance of grace.

Still midway through his deployment, my husband was told he couldn’t take leave as previously scheduled. But he somehow found a way to make it home. Having our family together again for two weeks rejuvenated me. I thanked God for bringing my husband home when I needed him the most!

God’s plan starts to unfold

The end of this deployment is on the horizon, but God’s blessings didn’t end there. I love to say God works in mysterious ways, so let me tell you of the final gift from God that came from this deployment. My husband and I are Christians, but we’ve struggled to really let God into our lives. Over the years I’ve talked of our need to join a church and gently tried to nudge my husband in the right direction. I must admit, I wasn’t always walking the walk myself. We just weren’t serious about getting on this path.

Having a family now, I was even more adamant in our need to raise our son as a Christian and lead by example. My husband agreed, but I wasn’t sure his heart was in the right place yet. I planned to start looking for a church family and we’d go from there. Meanwhile, I had noticed changes in my husband. He was the one encouraging me to keep faith in my heart during tough times. He was the one telling me that our son, “our Angel,” would help me through it all. He gave me constant praise as a mother and thanked me for all that I was doing. His encouragement was uplifting.

Most recently he wrote to tell me of the “spark that has been lit here” and how he has a longing to learn more about Jesus and to really do what is right. When I read those words, my eyes welled with tears and I thought, now I really know God’s plan for this deployment. If he had to take my husband to the Holy Land to bring his heart back to Him, it was all worth it!

What I am learning on this journey

Last year I learned what it means to experience the best and worst time of your life all at once. God showed me that He truly provides all that I need and He’s working in my life in ways that I could have never known. I was upset and scared, but He provided me comfort—our sweet Angel. I was angry and despondent, but He showed me His plan—our way back to Him.

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold…” (I Peter 1:6-7, NLT).

Lynn Burchfield became an instant Army wife when she got married in 2002 and has lived through active duty and national guard life. She is originally from Illinois and now resides in Arizona with her husband and their 15-month-old son. She enjoys writing, hiking (in Arizona winters!) and getting together with other new moms whenever possible.

“Amazing Gifts: God’s Surprising Timing” originally appeared at www.faithdeployed.com, a web site providing spiritual encouragement to military wives. The web site was born out of the books by Jocelyn Green, Faith Deployed and its sequel, Faith Deployed. . . Again.

By Melissa Svensen

Dear Fear,

We have known one another for a while now. You tell me lies all the time, yet I keep letting you back in my life. You overwhelm me with what ifs.

What if you don’t ever get well…
What if God does not want to heal you. . .
What if you never accomplish your dreams. . .
What if you never get to eat food that tastes good again. . .
What if you have to live in chronic pain for the rest of your life. . .
What if you can’t stick to the diet you need to follow to get well. . .
What if your kids get the same illness as you, or something much worse. . .
What if you can never feel intimacy with others because of your past abuse. . .
What if people do not recognize your worth. . .
What if your life really means nothing at all. . .

You see, Fear, I do not love you anymore. I must admit, I used you for quite some time. You protect me in a sick sort of way. I use you as my shield. I do not have to risk loving others or myself when you are with me. I can use you as my excuse. Even if all of those what ifs come to pass, what does that really mean?

It means this. . .

I will never have a healthy body on this side of heaven, but one day will have a brand new body. . .
God is using this illness to teach me invaluable lessons I will need on the other side. . .
My dreams were never what God had intended for me in the first place. . .
Food is for nourishment not pleasure, and Jesus will greet me with a huge heavenly hot fudge sundae for my perseverance. . .
Daily pain forces me to remember this world is not home, and to not to be consumed by it. . .
If God wants me well, He can do it with any diet. . .
My kids have their own destinies on earth and all I can do is the best I can do. . .
If I never feel the depth of intimacy on earth again, Heaven will make up for it. . .
I know God recognizes me, even if others do not. . .
If my life appears to mean nothing at all then so be it. I was given the opportunity to love and be loved. . .

So you see, Fear, there is nothing you can say to me that really means anything at all.
Most of what you say may be lies, but even if there is some truth in them, it does not matter in the end.
God is all that really matters and His purposes will overcome you.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16

When I allow you to live with me, I choose to deny God in me. You cannot have both fear and love indwelling in the same heart at the same time.
I am kicking you out of my life and choosing love because it is only love that never fails. Everything else will cease, all else will fail me in the end.

Fear, it’s been way too long. I should have said goodbye many years ago. I must tell you the hard truth and that truth is this:

Love Wins.

Melissa Svensen lives in the Chicago, IL area. She is outside Chicago IL. She is 31 years old and has a fabulous husband and three children. She has lived with interstitial cystitis, IBS, and fibromyalgia for 6 years now and she loves to write poetry and hope to bring those suffering closer to Jesus through my writing on her blog and in other places.

A few months ago a friend of mine, Linda Evans Shepherd, announced to our group of Christian women writers that she was starting a blog specifically to reach out to those who were considering suicide. I have to say that anything Linda touches is done well and with complete passion and heart behind it. Her most recent web site, Finding God Daily, has a wonderful collection of articles about all the places we can find God!

But would I be able to make a commitment to write an article or two a month about suicide? What do I know that may encourage someone else? And I just have a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology, while many of the writers are professional counselors.

But then I got an email from someone at Rest Ministries pouring her heart out. . . about taking her life. And all those statistics about chronic pain or physical illness being the cause of about 70 percent of suicides kept popping up in my mind in the next few days (Source: Mackenzie TB, Popkin MK: “Suicide in the medical patient.” Intl J Psych in Med 17:3-22, 1987).

So I prayed about it. And God said, “Do it.”

I emailed Linda and volunteered and was accepted as a writer for this new amazing blog Thinking About Suicide. It just kicked off last week on Wednesday, March 21, 2012. Why a Wednesday? Linda explains in one of the blog posts How to Live Through Hump Day that Wednesday is the day when most suicides occur.

In just a little over a week there is a wonderful growing collection of blog posts by this team of writers. Recently, author Karen Boerger wrote about Help For Chronic Pain With Suicidal Thoughts.

Our hope is that through a collection of various articles, when people search the internet about “thinking about suicide” this web site will come up, and not only will one find hope for the moment, but also a Christ-based resource that will provide answers about where that real, enduring hope comes from.

Please make a note to yourself that this blog exists and if you, or someone you know, needs a resource to turn to through a difficult time, visit it for a pick-me-up. If you are seriously considering suicide, I urge you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) without delay.

Also, if there is something you are personally experiencing with hopelessness and would like me to consider addressing it in a future blog post over at Thinking About Suicide, please let me know.

My first article will appear on Wednesday, April 4, 2012. “Why Bother Living When I Am Facing a Serious Infection Without a Hand to Hold?”

If you are having a rough day, here are a few resources on our web site that discuss suicide– a tough but very real topic.

• When You Are Tempted to Speed Up The Trip to Heaven
• I Forgot: My Life is Not My Own, Christian Author Shares About Her Attempted Suicide
• Assisted Suicide Due to Pain of Illness and How it Fits With Our Belief in God

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

By Lisa Copen

We laugh as people say, “I think I may be a hypochondriac!” but is it really a funny matter? Not so much.

Am I a hypochondriac if…

I get up at 2:30 AM to google a symptom I am experiencing and I start imagining all the things it could be?

It is unlikely. In today’s age of having immediate information at our fingertips, it is much easier to just get out of bed and start searching than to wait until morning when the doctor’s office is open and then we must decide to call him or not. In the days of our parents raising their children, rather than looking for search engine results in the middle of the night, they sat at the kitchen table with the Dr. Spock book attempting to figure out the cause of certain symptoms and if they should be worried or not.

If you find yourself up all hours, night over night, obsessing with health and illness information, it may be a good idea to unplug the computer.

Am I a hypochondriac if…

Every time someone tells me about their symptoms of a certain disease, I begin to believe I must have that too.

Do you really believe you have that illness, in addition to your other ones, or are you just casually laughing about having more of the same symptoms. When we live with chronic illnesses there are hundreds of symptoms we experience that sound familiar to others and vice versa. Just because it “sounds” like you have another illness, doesn’t mean you do. And just because you may joke about it doesn’t mean you actually think you have five more illnesses. On the flip side, there are many secondary illnesses, such as fibromyalgia, sjorgren’s syndrome, or yeast overgrowth. If you occasionally believe you do have that illness, it may be worth checking into.

Am I a hypochondriac if…

Any little change in my illness convinces me I must have cancer. I can’t stop thinking that it’s not a matter of “if” but “when” I get the big “C.”

While it is true that hundreds of thousands of people do get cancer, a great majority of them survive it. Whether you have a family history of it or not, go see your doctor or specialist and talk about your risk factors. Some medications for autoimmune diseases can cause, or increase the risk of, cancer and this can play some major games with your psyche about it. Discuss the risks and what you can do to stay on top of it. Are there certain tests that you should be having done? How can you do your best to be in control of it and catch it early if you do have it? After that, though I know it’s hard, focus on turning those worries over to God. Each day is precious and worrying about things that do not yet exist truly are a waste of our time and the energy we do have.

Am I a hypochondriac if…

I switch from doctor to doctor, insisting they do more tests, because someone is missing something. I know I am ill!

Although those with hypochondria do make their way through many doctors, looking for proof of the invisible illness, just because you are insisting on quality medical care in coping with your chronic disease does not mean you are a hypochondria. We all must be our best health advocates, but this also means understanding that you will likely never find the “perfect doctor.” You need to decide what is most important to you in the doctor/patient relationship and be content in not finding your soul-mate-physician, but rather one that will treat your illness to the best of his or her ability, in the style you prefer.

So, What Is Hypochondria?

Hypochondria is a serious and legitimate disease. According to the Mayo Clinic offers a hypochondriac definition of symptoms you may experience if you suffer with this psychological condition:

• Having a long-term intense fear or anxiety about having a serious disease or health condition
• Worrying that minor symptoms or bodily sensations mean you have a serious illness
• Seeing doctors repeated times or having involved medical exams such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), echocardiograms, or exploratory surgery
• Frequently switching doctors — if one doctor tells you that you aren’t sick, you may not believe it and seek out other opinions
• Continuously talking about your symptoms or suspected diseases with family and friends
• Obsessively doing health research
• Frequently checking your body for problems, such as lumps or sores
• Frequently checking your vital signs, such as pulse or blood pressure
• Thinking you have a disease after reading or hearing about it

According to an article at WebMD, Internet Makes Hypochondria Worse: Cyberchondria. . .

The medical condition called hypochondriasis is defined as worry over an imagined illness with exaggeration of symptoms, no matter how insignificant, that lasts for at least six months and causes significant distress. It tends to develop in the 20s or 30s, and it affects men and women equally. It sometimes comes on following the illness of a friend or family member, and it can also occur as a secondary illness to depression or generalized anxiety disorder.

Those of us who live with a chronic medical condition, and daily chronic pain, can find it hard to remember what it was like to be unaware of your body and it’s movements, aches, and moods. As we share about an ache with a friend, it’s easy for our friend to snap back, “I swear! You are a hypochondriac! All you ever see or talk about it pain! You think you have everything!”

That can be emotionally painful, as we don’t think we have everything, we just think we have a lot!–and we do! People who are healthy hear our stories of our chronic disease, the infections due to a lowered immune system, side effects such an high blood pressure to cataracts, and the list goes on. In their mind a single person could not have all of these problems, so surely some of them must be in her head. Be we do have them. They are legitimate.

If you feel you are suffering from hypochondria, or that the fear of what you may experience with the possibility of an illness is taking over your life, talk your doctor about it. There are many ways to reduce the anxiety in your life, from getting involved with a church-body, increasing your circle of friends, seeing a counselor, to, at times, considering medication to decrease the anxiety in your life.

2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (KJV). Power, love, a sound mind–and no fear. That is how we were meant to live, so if you can’t do it on your own, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

By Fiona Burrows

I’ve recently had some treatment that it was hoped would reduce the level of chronic pain that I have or maybe even get rid of it all together. After more than 25 years of pain that for the most part hasn’t responded to different treatments and has been getting worse–it seemed strange when the specialist suggested that it could all be controlled by this follow-up treatment, and what I’d had done earlier in the year. I have become so used to living with chronic pain–I may not like it, but I’m used to it. I can’t remember what it’s like not to be in pain and everything I do, seems to have to be considered in light of that pain and how it will affect me.

I guess you could say, I feel like chronic pain is part of who I am, so I wondered if I could get my head around no pain–but I was convinced it was worth trying. In fact my doctor had said early last year that really almost anything reasonable, was worth trying as it seemed I couldn’t continue the way things were going. Of course the decision to do anything wasn’t that easy, but I believed that I was doing the right thing by giving this a try, even though I didn’t know a whole lot about how and why it works, or how long any relief may last.

I’ve always thought that I needed to approach the start of any treatment, hopeful for success–or why bother doing it at all. But years of being told that the results “were not as good as we’d hoped” also mean that I think I tend to protect myself in some ways, from another failure.

So. . . Are you doing better now?

Since I came out of hospital I have had people asking how the treatment went this time; can I feel a difference; is my pain all gone; or is it better; do I know it’s been successful? and various other things. I’ve been asking myself the same questions and I’m not sure I really know the answers.

Approaching another appointment with the specialist, when I was wondering yet again if I felt any better, the above question came to mind. I think I probably do feel better, but I still have pain and it may not be a huge improvement on how it was before. Maybe some more time will help things settle down more. I don’t really know But what if this is as good as it gets? Can I live with that and be happy with that? Am I still grateful for what improvement there has been? If any improvement may only last for a time is that still a success? Have I failed yet again?

I began to wonder if I have been trying to convince myself that there is improvement just because I want to seem “positive” about it, or because I long to be able to say something has been successful, and an answer to prayer. Sometimes it’s hard to feel that so many people have prayed and I can’t show some miracle improvement for them. I think I’ve accepted that God hasn’t chosen to heal me at this time over the years, but as hard as it is for me to accept, sometimes it’s harder to see how others are affected by it.

Even if the results are not as good as they could have been. . .

. . . God still answered many prayers–prayers for me to tolerate the treatment better this time; He gave me peace as I endured the hospital stay; He showed me that people cared enough to pray for me and to follow up how things went; my family adjusted their Christmas plans to fit in with me. So God provided me with encouragement and support for the journey.

Answers to prayer come in different forms and I can look back to this time last year and know I’m in a better place than I was then–physically and emotionally–so there has been improvement. Maybe the miracle relief of my pain didn’t happen, but if this is as good as my pain relief will be for now, that’s still okay. I still got to yet again, see God’s hand at work in my life and I’m encouraged to keep on trusting that He will continue to give me the resources to cope with however long this lasts; however bad it gets.

God doesn’t give us just “as good as it gets”, He promises to give us so much more. In Corinthians Paul reminds me God’s grace is enough for, as good as it is–right now, and also for whatever lies ahead until that miracle relief is one day achieved.

‘But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”’ (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Considering those lilies . . .

As Jesus taught His disciples in Luke’s Gospel not to be concerned over what they needed for each day, He promised that for us too.

“Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.” (Luke 12:27-31)

Over the last 25 years God has proven His promise to give me all that I need–for each day. That doesn’t mean there haven’t been some really hard days. There have. But God has brought me through them and I can trust that He will continue to do so. God promises what we need, not what we want. He knows better than I do, what I need.

I just need God’s help to remember that, and I need to hold on to that truth and the hope that it brings me as I face each day.

Fiona Burrows lives in Melbourne, Australia. She is thankful for the difference God makes in her life, and the lessons He is teaching her, as she lives with chronic back pain. She enjoys finding time for reading, writing, and photography, and to travel when she is able. You can contact her in the Sunroom.

“Why does God want us to be afraid of Him?” asked my sweet son recently. We were reading a scripture and it mentioned how we should fear the Lord. This is a question that most of us have asked at one time or another, and one we don’t always get a satisfactory answer. I mean, God tells us He is our Father, our Abba, our friend, our protector. . . and then on the other hand He wants us to be afraid of Him? What kind of friend does that?

When we live with a chronic illness we are up against all sorts of things that we can fear. We fear going to the doctor, we fear not going to the doctor. We fear taking the medications and dealing with side effects, we fear not taking the medications and coping with the possibly damaging results to our body. The list can go on and on. Why on earth would God want us to add Him to that list of fears?

The amplified version of the Bible says, “The secret [of the sweet, satisfying companionship] of the Lord have they who fear (revere and worship) Him, and He will show them His covenant and reveal to them its [deep, inner] meaning.”

According to Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, “revere” means to “show devoted deferential honor to: regard as worthy of great honor.” When we fear the Lord, it is meant to be because we fully comprehend He is to be given such great honor.

We are to acknowledge that this God in our lives is the same God who said ‘Let there be light” (Genesis 1:3) and there was light. . . and this light was not even the sun, which He created three days later (Genesis 1:6). God is all powerful–and loving, and yet, He also can be vengeful when the situation is appropriate for this (Romans 12:19). In Psalm 6:1 David pleads “O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.”

To acknowledge that God is God and He has the right to rebuke or discipline, can be one of the ways we “fear God.” I believe that God wants the best for me. I can expect, should expect, that there will be consequences when I start taking Him for granted, when I let my priorities slip out of order, when I spend money foolishly, when I forget to tell Him thank you for the things He has blessed me with. As my grandma used to say, “You’re getting to big for those britches.” God has a way of drawing us back to Him, and sometimes that path is full of a lot of potholes!

I like the simple version of this scripture from The Messages. It states, “God-friendship is for God-worshipers; They are the ones He confides in.” When we worship Him, remember His glory and honor Him, we create a friendship and from that He shares some of the mysteries to help us through those difficult days. We can see how He works out our messes into miracles; though our circumstances may have been the same, we likely would not have seen His hand, if we were lacking being in communion with Him.

Prayer: Lord, fearing You is having a healthy respect, a reverance to You who created the heavens and the earth–and me! It is recalling how You never leave my side through the good times and the bad. Humble me so that I have a healthy fear of You in ways that will strengthen our relationship, not add stress to it.

About the Author:
Lisa Copen is an author, speaker, and the founder of Rest Ministries which serves the chronically ill. She lives in San Diego with her husband and 8-year-old son. She is currently writing a book for Christian moms who live with chronic illness. If you are interested in sharing your stories, feedback and confessions for the book, visit her Facebook page at http://MomWithIllness.com .

You can now read this on your Kindle. Find out more at http://TodaysDevotionOnKindle.com

When you hear that we should “fear” God, what comes to mind? How have you reconciled these verses? How do you express or see your “fear of the Lord”?

By Leslie Vernick

Discouragement and disappointment are normal emotions we all experience, even as Christians.

Peter felt discouraged with himself when he realized that he wasn’t as courageous as he thought he was, even though Jesus had warned him that he would deny him before the rooster crowed (Matthew 26:31 and 74,75). We too can feel discouraged and even depressed when we fail to live up to our own or other’s expectations.

Job felt discouraged and frustrated with his friends. They didn’t get it. Trying to be helpful, they only heaped more shame and blame on Job for his afflictions. We also can feel let down by our friends and family. They don’t understand what we’re going through or don’t offer to help as we wish they would. (Read through the biblical book of Job for the story).

We can get discouraged with life’s circumstances. Things don’t turn out the way we’d hoped despite our persistent prayers. Elijah hoped that after all the miracles the Israelites saw performed on Mount Carmel, they would finally repent and put God first but they did not. King Ahab and Jezebel were as stubborn and hard hearted as always and Elijah felt discouraged, exhausted and believed his entire ministry was a waste (1 Kings 19).

Jeremiah felt angry and discouraged with God when he believed God was against him and temporarily lost hope in God (Lamentations 3). The disciples too felt discouraged after Jesus was crucified, before he rose from the dead. They said “We were hoping that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.” (Luke 24:21) They couldn’t see the bigger picture and felt that their life’s work was a waste.

Discouragement happens, even to the strongest and best of people. Here are five (5) things you can do when you start to feel the black cloud of discouragement swallow you up.

1. Be honest.
It does you no good to pretend you don’t feel what you feel. You can’t take action against a negative feeling until you first admit you have it. A strong Christian is not someone who never experiences negative feelings. It’s someone who has learned what to do with them when he or she has them and how to process them biblically.

2. Take care of your body.
If your body isn’t working, your mind, emotions and will are also weakened. I love how God tended to Elijah’s body first, before addressing anything else, and provided ravens to feed him. Sometimes the circumstances of life drain us dry and we need to press pause, stop doing, and simply rest and refresh.

3. Pay attention to your thought life.
Maturing as believers means we learn to think truthfully (Philippians 4:8) and to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

All of us attempt to make sense of the things that happen in our lives. We try to figure out why they happen and what it all means. It’s crucial that we pay attention to what stories we are telling ourselves about ourselves, about others, about God, or a particular situation and whether or not those stories are actually true. For example, if you look at what Elijah was telling himself after he became discouraged, much of it was not true, yet because he thought it, it added to his misery (read 1 Kings 19).

Jeremiah too was telling himself things about God that were not true but because his mind believed his version of reality instead of God’s, he lost his hope. Read through Lamentations 3. Notice in verse 21 Jeremiah begins to have a change of mind and heart. He says, “This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope.” When his thoughts changed, his negative emotions also lifted even though his circumstances stayed the same.

4. Train yourself to “see” life out of two lenses at the same time.
When the apostle Paul counsels us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, (Romans 12:2), he is telling us that our mind needs to be trained to think differently than we have in the past. Part of this training is to learn to see both the temporal (life is hard) and the eternal (God has a purpose here) at the same time.

Paul speaks honestly of his temporal pain when he says he is hard pressed on every side, perplexed, persecuted and struck down. Yet, he did not become crushed, despairing, abandoned or destroyed. Why not? Because he learned to firmly fix the eternal perspective on his spiritual eyes. He says, “Therefore we do not lose heart. …So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:8-18).

Paul never minimized the pain of the temporal, yet discouragement didn’t win because he knew that God’s purposes were at work. (See Philippians 1:12-14 for another example).

5. Press close into God.
The truth is, life is hard, people do disappoint and hurt us and we don’t always understand God or his ways. The prophet Naham talks about a day of trouble and reminds us “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, he knows those who trust in him.” (Naham 1:7) If we’re not in close trusting relationship with God, life’s troubles can become unbearable. The psalmist cried out, “I would have despaired unless I had believed I would see God in the land of the living. (Psalm 27).

One final tip. The best way to chase out a negative feeling is with another feeling. The Bible teaches us “In everything give thanks for this is the will of God.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Gratitude is a powerful anecdote for discouragement. But how do we give thanks in all things? In awful things? In sinful things? That will be the subject of my next newsletter on November 22 at LeslieVernick.com. So keep watch!

Leslie Vernick is a licensed counselor with over 25 years of experience helping individuals, couples, and families. “Lord, I Just Want to Be Happy”. It’s received over 75 reviews and has 5 stars! This book will help you recognize and change habits that, day by day, keep you from experiencing happiness; make good choices and learn from mistakes without beating yourself up; develop the skills that will enable you to let go of negative and painful emotions quicker; and transform difficult circumstances so you can live with gratitude, joy, and purpose.

Visit Leslie’s web site to submit a question for her to answer!

Reprinted with permission, Copyright LeslieVernick.com

46 million people are on food stamps, 15 percent of Americans.

July saw the highest level of layoffs in 16 months, the steepest jump since the recession.

The president promises that the next few months will be about jobs. The reporters says it’s all about. . .

Jobs.

Jobs.

Jobs.

But talking about jobs doesn’t make them materialize.

People are still hungry.

I read Jeremiah 33:2-3. “‘This is what the Lord says, He who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it-—the Lord is His name: ‘Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’”

Life is messy.

But God is still on the throne.

He says to call to Him and He will answer and He will tell me great and unsearchable things that I do not know.

Who needs Google?

We cannot fathom what God has to tell us. I cannot even search for it, because I don’t even know what words to search for.

He made the earth. How can I doubt that He will take care of me?

Because you have seen people suffer, my heart whispers. Where was God then?

I struggle to reconcile why I see faithful servants of Christ still suffer. I see women with cancer who are abused by their husbands. I see men who can no longer provide for their families because of their illness, and their wives cheat on them. I see those with medical debt now living in campgrounds because they have lost their homes.

Where is the justice?

If the Lord loves justice (Psalm 11:7), then why does He seem to withhold justice (Job 34:5)?

The Psalmist says, “I know that the Lord secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy.” (Psalm 140:12) How does he know?

What are our options when all seems unfair?

To wait. Oh, how I hate waiting!

To believe that God is the source of justice.

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore He will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!” (Isaiah 30:18)

Blessed are those who wait! So. . . I should not hate waiting. I should embrace it.

So I will wait. I will search for the ways I can see His hidden graciousness. I will expect His compassion, for He is love.

I will wait.

And in the wait, I will find His blessings.

And when I am saturated with His blessings, embraced by His compassion, I will be less concerned about justice.

Just give me Jesus.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

I have been married for four years and have multiple sclerosis. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for some time and it’s not happening. I think I am capable of being a mom, despite my illness, but it’s making me nervous to see the clock ticking–and for those of us with illness, it ticks a whole lot faster! I don’t want to grow bitter about not getting pregnant yet, but my friends are having kids, doing family events, and now, not only do I feel ousted because my illness slows me down, but I am just not at soccer games and Chuck E. Cheese. How do I cope with all these mixed up feelings?

Leslie

Leslie,
My heart aches for you. I remember my own similar journey for years back in the late nineties until the day our son was born and we adopted him in 2003. And yes, it really did feel like a long journey! Like you, I wasn’t sure if God was saying, “No” or “Wait.”

I was recently asked me to write about infertility and chronic illness and it took me awhile to be able to find my voice on this topic.

I had just come from a roller coaster ride of emotions:

• First, my husband and I did our research after seeing our son struggling and gained an official diagnosis for him of ADHD (a diagnosis we are glad we’ve discovered!)
• I had also talked with two women who’d poured their heart out about infertility issues and chronic llness;
• I had the most amazing family time with my son’s birth-grandparents and his little brother who lives with my son’s birth mom (Joshua’s birth mom was sick so couldn’t come.);
• My “story” about infertility and illness came out in Janet Thompson’s new book, “Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?: A Companion Guide for Women on the Infertility Journey” (An amazing book I strongly recommend if you are on this detour in life.)

What could I share? I was a mom who was looking at her own weaknesses, not even sure if I had dealt with infertility, if the infertility was due to my use of rheumatoid arthritis medications, or I had just “needed more time.”

As Mother’s Day approaches I see the many women who long to be a mother. And why does it seem the most kind and nurturing women are the ones who seemed to fill the quiet valleys of infertility? Everything can seem personal. . . from wondering why the teenage girl who lives next door is pregnant and miserable about her situation to the woman who is in a marriage she would like to abandon, but she’s staying because she is pregnant. Every abortion suddenly feels like the death of a dream that we have of our own child. How could they?

Women who feel God has given them a craving for motherhood wonder how and when it will ever be fulfilled. For those of us with chronic illness we wonder if we crossed signals with God, because we all know with each passing day our health is getting worse, and therefore, harder to care for an infant. We don’t have the time that others mom have because we are in a race to be mommy before we lose more abilities.

What would I have wanted to hear when I was on this infertility detour? It sure was not, “give it time” or “if you just relax it will happen.” I would have wanted to hear God’s voice somewhere in the middle of the opinions of people who told me I was silly to think I could be a mom. I would have wanted to know God was in control.

And I did. I remember praying, “Lord, I need a baby and if I can’t have a baby, I don’t want to get depressed or obsessed with it. But I need a purpose while I am waiting.” And what He gave me, through a calling and resources, is now Rest Ministries.

God is in control. I don’t ever wish to imply I can speak words for God, but below is, if I had tried to write out what God was telling me during this time, I would have written. I hope you can use it and adapt it as your own. I don’t presume to know the answers to your situation or what God has in store for you, but I do know He can make miracles out of whatever we may perceive as messy situations in our life.

Lisa

Dear one,

I know your heart. And I know how your heart hurts. You rise each day and put on a smile. But underneath that smile I know you imagine how your life would be different if your dream of being a mom was fulfilled. Would you awake at 5 AM, but with joy instead of anxiety? Would you go to mommy-and-me meetings, instead of talk of your illness on the computer?

In the deepest parts of your heart I understand that you’re beginning to wonder if you have done something wrong, made some mistake, or overlooked an opportunity, to cause your heart’s longing to not be fulfilled. You are wondering if you should have taken that medication, not taken the medication, drank that Diet Coke, had that treatment, and then I would have answered your prayers. You are looking for where you have messed up, so you can fix it and be with child. You have not made mistakes, child, where I was still not in control of the outcome. I have never left your side, and My will will come to pass.

You hear girlfriends complain about how their children are driving them nuts and you bite your tongue. You try to make plans with them, but they are always busy. They have entered into “Parentland” and you can only get a temporary pass for a few hours to babysit.

Child, I do know your longing. I hear your cries; I see you. I have not turned away or ignored your pleas. I see the pain that pierces you when another friend announces her pregnancy. I see you try to hold back the tears as you walk through baby departments to buy a gift for another baby shower. I see your faith when you buy a little baby gift for yourself to hide away and call it your “mustard seed.”

Do not stop talking to Me. I know you may be tempted to allow bitterness and frustration to seep in. Many people do. But this will only lead to a hardened heart and take you farther away from the person I am designing you to be.

Remember, your hope is different because you know me. Your hope should be in Me, not what I can give to you. The world hopes for things and situations. Put your hope in Me.

You can have peace in the midst of turmoil because of My presence. So don’t turn from Me, as I am the only one who can fill that hole.

Not a moment of your misery is being wasted. The closer you draw to me, even when your prayers are not being answered, the more opportunities I will provide for you to find this hope and refreshment, even in the middle of your pain.

I know it is hard to imagine, but I have great plans for you. Remember how when I told Abraham of his children I would bless him with? His wife Sarah laughed. Even in the most unlikely of situations I can make things happen that are beyond your wildest imagination. In fact, it is in the impossible, I most delight in making miracles happen, because then you can share your joy with the world about how you saw Me at work in the crevices of your life.

Hang on, dear child. Stick by my side, as I have promised to be by yours.

Your Loving Father,
God