Help! Q/A Archives - Rest Ministries - Chronic Illness and Pain Support

Q/A: How Do I Get A Doctor Who Will Listen?

February 6, 2012 By admin 3 Comments

Looking for a doctor who will listen, accept the challenges of your illness and stick with you? You are not alone in your search for a doctor who will fight for you. Have you had the experience of one doctor passing you off to another, and that one to another, and no one really wanting to "own" you as a patient? For a while I have felt I was the ball in a game of ping pong between my general practitioner and a specialist, each telling me to see the other. Currently, as new issues develop, I have become a "hot potato." My question is, what do you do to get doctors to listen and stop passing the buck? I am looking for suggestions beyond basics of talking to doctors. One thing I am finding helpful lately is to pray earnestly and … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Advocacy, Articles, Doctor, Help! Q/A, Medical Professional, What's New? Tagged With: communicate with doctor, doctor relationship, how to get your doctor to listen, list for doctor, patient tips, tips for doctors, when is it time to find a new doctor

Q&A: How Can I Let People Know Their Perfume is Making Me Sick?

January 5, 2012 By admin 7 Comments

I have Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and when people who are wearing perfume want to hug me they transfer their scent to my clothing! How can we let people know that their perfume is having the opposite intended effect on some people? That to someone with MCS, their perfume is about 20 times more intense and nauseating! I'm not comfortable saying, "Hi there! No offense, but your perfume makes me gag! No, I can't sit next to you!" If I were king, I'd lump perfume with cigarette smoke and ban it in public places! Sorry you perfume lovers-- nothing personal. I am just trying to breathe and be healthy. --Semi-silent sufferer, attending church on-line Dear Semi-silent sufferer, You are definitely not alone! Although many assume this … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Church Leader, Coping Skills, Help! Q/A, Invisible Illnesses, Links, Person w/ Illness Tagged With: asthma, chemical sensitivities, chemicals, Chronic Illness, fragrance free, mcs, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, Perfume Free

Q & A: If I Go to this Holiday Party, Should I Explain About My Chronic Pain?

November 29, 2011 By admin 9 Comments

My best friend is having a holiday party and I would really like to go. On the other hand, I am kind of dreading it. All those people dressed up to the nines, carefree, without any problems in their lives. My daily pain, food allergies, broken down feet, all make a simple party rather dreary. I always feel like I need to explain why I am not real social. My friend says just to come and not worry about it, but I am not sure. Should I go? I understand it is not an easy decision to make. There are benefits to getting out and meeting new people, even when we don't feel all that great. But that doesn't mean we should sit around at the party and explain to people how hard it is to have some fun. Would we want to make the effort to have a night … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Explaining Illness, Help! Q/A, Loneliness, Person w/ Illness, What's New?

Q & A: I Don’t Seem To Fit In To Online Support Groups!

June 13, 2011 By admin 10 Comments

Sometimes I feel very left out in the online support groups. I live with an incredible amount of daily pain and I just need someone who cares. It seems like everyone else in the group have people who support them and write them back. But when I share something from my heart all I get is a bunch of well-meaning advice. I don't need advice! Or . . . no one responds at all. What I need is someone who will listen and try to understand. -Sandy Hi, Sandy, I can hear the pain in your words. I am going to assume since you wrote to me you are asking for some kind of advice, so here is my best 2-cents. Ask yourself, "What would the perfect response to my post be?" When we say we want people to "listen" and yet we are typing our posts out … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Explaining Illness, Help! Q/A, Hurt Feelings, Person w/ Illness, Sunroom, Support Group Leader, What's New? Tagged With: Conditions and Diseases, DVD, God, Health, Lord, Rest Ministries, Rheumatoid arthritis, Support group

Q&A: What Do I Do About My Friend Who Keeps Bringing Me Down?

May 19, 2011 By admin 2 Comments

I have a friend who I've known for years. We used to go out partying before my diagnosis, but now I've really become grounded in my faith, because God is the only thing that has gotten me through. She keeps saying she "knows the real me" and I cannot possibly be satisfied with this life I have now. Whenever I share something I've learned while living with illness or about anything good in my life, she has something negative to say about how much I am missing out on in life because of my illness. I care about her, but I just don't know if I can continue to be around her right now if she keeps this up. - Kelly Hi, Kelly, Do you know someone who is the same now as they were 30 or even 40 years ago? They love to complain and stir up … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Explaining Illness, Friend Has Illness, Help! Q/A, Person w/ Illness, Teen w/ Illness, What's New? Tagged With: Christ, Christian, Christianity, Evangelism, God, Jesus, Jesus Christ, Religion & Spirituality, Religion and Spirituality

Q & A: How Do I Know if God Has Motherhood In My Future?

April 20, 2011 By admin 4 Comments

I have been married for four years and have multiple sclerosis. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for some time and it's not happening. I think I am capable of being a mom, despite my illness, but it's making me nervous to see the clock ticking--and for those of us with illness, it ticks a whole lot faster! I don't want to grow bitter about not getting pregnant yet, but my friends are having kids, doing family events, and now, not only do I feel ousted because my illness slows me down, but I am just not at soccer games and Chuck E. Cheese. How do I cope with all these mixed up feelings? Leslie Leslie, My heart aches for you. I remember my own similar journey for years back in the late nineties until the day our son was … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Adoption, Depression, Fear, Founder's Blog, Help! Q/A, Parenting, Spiritually Struggling, What's New? Tagged With: Chronic, Chuck E. Cheese, Diet Coke, God, Health, Home, Infertility, Mother, Mother's Day, Parent, Parenting, Prayer, Rest Ministries

I Need To Forgive… But Where Do I Even Begin?

March 23, 2011 By admin 1 Comment

I have read in some places online that many people who have a chronic illness were abused in their childhood. I know many were not, but I am one of the ones who was. I will never know for sure if the illness I have was "caused" by the stress of me trying to cope with my history, or the bitterness it caused in my heart eating away (literally!) at my body, but I know I need to figure out a way to let go of the bitterness. My father is no longer on this earth and my mom and I have a very weak relationship. I am not sure I want more. But where do I go from here?" Belinda, who doesn't want to be "Bitter Belinda" Belinda, It's true that studies have shown that sometimes chronic illness can be more prevalent among adults who suffered abuse … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Fear, Help! Q/A, Hurt Feelings, Relationships, What's New? Tagged With: Bible, forgiveness, God, God the Father, Jesus, linda newton, Lord's Prayer, Resentment

How Can I Get Kids Out The Door To School When I Can Barely Move?

January 24, 2011 By admin 2 Comments

My husband used to take care of the kids in the mornings because I have a hard time with mornings. But he works the third shift now and I now have two children in school. I have to wake up at 6:30 after little or no sleep and have the kids on the bus by 7:30 a.m. It is becoming increasingly difficult and I keep waking up later and later. This makes it harder because then I have to get them both ready in less time. Sometimes they balk. One is an occasional bed wetter, which makes it worse each morning. So far I have managed to get them to the bus each morning on time. But, I know it is just a matter of time that they miss the bus on my account. I really need prayers. Karlynné Hi, Karlynné, First I have to confess that my husband … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Founder's Blog, Help! Q/A, Parent of Ill or Disabled Child, Parenting, What's New? Tagged With: Alarm clock, Caregiving, Child, co-parenting, disabled mom, Every Sunday, explaining cancer to kids, explaining illness to children, Family, getting kids ready for school, getting out of house in morning on time, Health, Home, mom with disability, organizing kids, Parent, parenting when chronically ill, parenting when ill, Shopping, Windows

What Does it Mean to Live Healthy With Illness?

May 2, 2010 By admin 3 Comments

I keep hearing people talk online about "living well" with a chronic illness or being a "healthy chronically ill person." How can I live "well" when I don't have any control over what my body does or doesn't do? It's very confusing and it feels like I'm still being blamed for being chronically ill. Can you discuss the perception that an individual with a chronic illness can be healthy? -Matt Choosing to live well with a chronic illness isn’t easy. But after living with systemic lupus for more than 9 years, I now know that taking this step is paramount to improving life with a chronic illness. It takes keen self-awareness, patience, and forethought to actually choose “well”, but it can be done, and the results are worth every bit of … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Attitude, Help! Q/A, Person w/ Illness, What's New? Tagged With: Chronic, Chronic (medicine), Chronic Illness, Conditions and Diseases, Disease, Health, Illness, Indiana, Systemic lupus erythematosus, University of Notre Dame, Virginia

How Do I Stop Feeling Guilty When My Parents Won’t Accept My Boundaries?

April 14, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

I believe I've set proper boundaries with both parents (they're divorced) & I'm at peace with that in itself, but I'm still having a hard time emotionally letting go of my extended family. How can I stop feeling guilty? My mother doesn't see that my need to still enforce boundaries isn't unforgiveness, but caution & a desire to ensure my children's safety. On the other side, my father & step-mother are pressuring us to move closer to them so they can spend more time with their gr&children. I can't win with either parent & I feel like I'm being treated like a child. I'm almost to the point of cutting ties with both of them. My husb& has been 100% in agreement with my st& & is very supportive. However, I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Help! Q/A, What's New? Tagged With: caregivers, Child, Children, Christianity, Chronic Illness, Emotion, Family, God, Guilt, Jerusalem, Jesus, Parent, Relationships, Religion and Spirituality, Stress, tension

I Just Want a Few Moments of Happiness Without Stress!

March 17, 2010 By admin 1 Comment

My life seems to be one struggle after another and I am so tired of always being in survival mode.My friends tell me I am dwelling on the negative too much, but if I am not housebound from pain, I am at a doctor's appointment. I'd love to have some fun, but I don't know how to find it. -April The way we look at things affects our happiness levels. There's a little poem that reads, "Two men looked out prison bars, one saw mud, the other stars." The apostle Paul applied that truth to his own life. That's how he experienced joy even while in prison (Read Philippians). Paul knew that life was hard, but he also counseled people not to dwell on the negative. Rather, he says, "Fix your thoughts on what is true & honorable, & right, … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Help! Q/A, What's New? Tagged With: Books, Chronic Illness, Emotion, Family, God, Happiness, Health, Lord, Mental Health, Pain, Positive psychology, Religion and Spirituality, Research, Shopping, Stress

I’ve Had it! I’m 32 & Now Have Another Illness!

March 15, 2010 By admin 2 Comments

I am 32 years old & was recently diagnosed with diabetes on top of having another chronic condition. I am very frustrated, & I feel like I have always had a gracious spirit & have been patient to discover the Lord's plans for my life despite the challenges of chronic illnesses. But lately I am more discouraged than ever & if one more person tells me that I should be thankful that it's not worse, I am going to scream. Any advice? –Jackie Hi Jackie. I know what it's like to live with chronic illness. I've struggled for several years with an autoimmune form of arthritis that keeps me in a lot of pain. Mornings are the hardest, so I've tried to remember to start each day by reading my Bible & praising God. There are days when I have to … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Anger, Coping Skills, Fear, Help! Q/A, Person w/ Illness