You felt awful the entire day but you decided to get in the car and go to the support group anyway. You thought it would be good for you. It took forever to find the building at the hospital and then you ended up parking what seemed like a mile from the suite number. You found a chair that smelled like old sweat and smoke and hoped somehow you would find some encouragement.

But an hour later you’re ready to make dash for the door. Everyone seems to be so depressed! And too many people want to either sell you a juicer that is sure to cure your problems, or tell you about every surgery they’ve had since 1977.

Aren’t support groups supposed to be a valuable coping tool?

Yes, they are! Studies done on support groups by David Spiegel, MD, have found that support groups do improve the quality of life for their attendees. Recently studies have concluded, however, that the lifespan of a patient with cancer may not increase because of a support group environment (CANCER, Sept 2007). However, we cannot deny the fact that the validation of one’s feelings about their illness definitely makes a difference in how they cope with chronic illness.

You may attend a support group, or perhaps even lead one, but regardless of how long you have (or have not) participated in one, it’s likely that you’ve seen the slippery slope of how quickly people can go from sharing honest, vulnerable feelings to a session of complaints and even quarreling. Looking for fresh and fun icebreaker games for small groups to perk things up?

Here are 10 ideas to help create some humor and joy in your support group. You can evade some of those bitter moments that can so easily come out in conversation about illness. Some simple planning can make you feel enthused about your next get together. These ideas will work for any groups, from a Rhode Island support group for CFS to a diabetes support group for those in Marion County, Florida. And they a great tool to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.

1. Before your meeting, cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them on each side of a stick or a plastic knife. When everyone goes around the room to share about their experiences or emotions of the week, ask people to make sure they are able to hold up both “faces’. For example, Beth may say, “I’m not looking forward to my joint replacement surgery and all the rehab afterwards” while holding up the sad side of the stick. And then she flips it to think of something positive to say “I feel blessed though, that the insurance is covering a lot of the expenses and my friends have volunteered to help take care of my children.”

2. Redefine your conception of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, start a JOY box and ask everyone to bring an item for it that someone else can take home with them. Have each person choose an item at the end of the meeting. It could be a silly toy, a cartoon, a rubber fish, or great book, a poem, a note someone sent that encouraged you, or even a funny DVD. Ask everyone to return them at the next meeting and exchange it for another item. Refresh the box up now and then.

3. Here’s a unique icebreaker for small groups. Make a silly theme song that you use to start the meeting. You can pick a song and make up new lyrics too. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe for some good ideas about how to make a song your own at her web site.

4. Bring some corny things to use during your meetings. Avoid making anyone feel pressured to use them. (If you force someone to wear a clown nose she may never come back) Have them available, however, and encourage goofiness before getting down to the real reasons you are there. Oriental Trading supply is the source of thousands of funny items guaranteed to spur a giggle.

5. Don’t allow the group to turn into a platform for any one member who talks incessantly about her illness, the treatment, the alternative treatments or even her complaints. If you have someone dominating the conversation, tell the group you are implementing a timer and set your own guidelines. (For example, can people vent for 60 seconds about anything they want? Can they share about an alternative treatment they want the group to try? Give them a time limit.)

6. Ask everyone to bring an encouraging item to include in a gift basket for someone in need who is either unable to attend the group or not even a member. Put your heads together about what kinds of items to include. You can find over five-hundred simple ideas in the book “Beyond Casseroles.” Remember personal notes mean a lot, even from people you don’t know, so ask people to write a sentence or two to include with the item.

7. Have a fun night out. You can act your age and go to a nice sit-down restaurant or head over to Chuck E. Cheese for some pin ball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups because people who haven’t opened up much in the group may feel relieved to have this environment to get to know others.

8. Hand out articles and other resources that encourage people to thrive despite their illness. You can find fun items through the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week website like “My illness is invisible but my hope shines through.”

9. Invite guest speakers who you trust will speak positively. Inform your speakers that they can “tell it like it is” but that you always want people to leave the meeting feeling energized; not depressed. Let them know they can use props, tell a joke, or do whatever it takes to keep people paying attention.

10. Focus on things that your group can actually do that will change things, since they may feel so unable to control their illness. If you can’t physically participate in the local walk for charity, could you work at a table handing out snacks or doing registration? Find events your group can participate in to feel like they are doing more than just complaining about their predicament. Take advantage of the energy that teens with chronic illness often have to motivate support groups to get involved in outside projects.

Illness can be one of the most isolating experiences people have, and support groups provide a sense of belonging in the midst of this. The levels of relationship that form in the group, however, are significantly influenced by how uplifting the leader makes the group environment. None of us want to leave a meeting feeling worse than when we came, but rather refreshed and motivated to live the best life possible. With just a few changes, your support group can go from being a simple meeting, to becoming a lifeline for those involved.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and lives with rheumatoid arthritis. You can find more ideas for icebreakers for small groups with your free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from “Beyond Casseroles” by Lisa Copen.

It is the time of year when many people are setting fresh goals regarding their health. For one who is chronically ill, however, it can be discouraging and you can feel a bit helpless at the lack of options you have available. Well, due to technology, there may just be some new possibilities for you! Here are a few we have found below.

Many people do not want or cannot afford an ipad or an iphone to be able to use the apps in many new technological health advances. If these are something you are interested in, you may want to invest in an iTouch for less than $200. It has the ability to do everything an iphone does but make calls, and there is no monthly fee. You can only connect to wi-fi in a “hot spot” (like your home, McDonald’s, Starbucks, etc.). It is a great way to “get connected” to some useful tools without any monthly fees. Most health apps are free, others are $4.99 or less.

DailyBurn
This app is an exercise tracker but you can also use it to log what you are eating and track your sugar, fat, carbs, etc. This app will tell you how much exercise it will take to burn off those french fries you just ate.Free, as far as we can tell

Withings Body Scale or Blood Pressure Cuff
This is the first wi-fi-connected body scale. It records your daily weigh-ins and body fat percentages to a web site so you can track it, and the company also has a blood pressure and heart rate monitor added to their product line. You just plug the blood pressure cuff into your ipad or itouch and it uploads all the numbers.$159 for the scale, about $100 for blood pressure cuff.

iHealth Lab iHealth Blood Pressure Dock for iPod®/iPhone®/iPad®
Check and track your blood pressure on your Apple iPod Touch or iPhone with this unique dock from iHealth Lab. The armband connected to this dock allows you to check your pulse rate and take a diastolic reading. This item is on sale this week at Target for about $94.

UP
This is a “bracelet” by Jawbone® that you wear 24/7. It is the combination of a wristband and iPhone app that tracks your activity and sleep and inspires you to move more, sleep better and eat smarter. You snap a photo of your food and then a few hours later it asks you how you are feeling. It tracks how well you sleep, when you wake up, and will even wake you up when it thinks you have slept enough (is there such a thing? Enough sleep?) About $100

ReliefInsite.com
This is a pain management service operating on a web-based platform. It allows you to visually have a pain assessment and track it, showing your condition and pain level in real-time. It is like a pain diary and it organized your entries into reports that can be printed or emailed to your doctor. It also creates a history of your condition presented in charts and graphs that are easy to understand. Free

CureTogether
This is a great web site to hook in with if you have a chronic illnesses; CureTogether will assist you in tracking your symptoms, sharing your information, and finding what works to help you feel better. Free

Wii Fit
The Wii Fit is a great way to start an exercise program at home and just do what you can a little at a time. You can buy the Wii, including the Wii board and the Wii fit games for less than $150 on ebay. One woman has done a couple of videos that show how someone who cannot even stand can use the Wii Fit and the Wii Fit board to gain additional muscles and burn some calories, called A Guide to Wii Fit For Disabled People Less than $200 (Note: I purchased one a few months ago. So far I can do a few of the games for a few minutes, so am going to try to improve my balance and some muscle strength.)

Daytum
This app lets you track anything so you can set your own goals (and be reasonable) and then it will help you see your results visually. So if you just want to track if you take the dog for a walk or make your family dinner, you can see how consistent you are. Free

ShareCare.com
This is a new free interactive website that provides answers to visitors health-related questions This free website was created by Jeff Arnold, the founder of WebMD, and Dr. Mehmet Oz, a famous heart surgeon who hosts The Dr. Oz Show, who will personally answer some of your questions. It is quite extensive and a great first stop in looking for quality and trustworthy health information. Free

AskMeEvery
This is similar to Daytum. It will ask you whatever you want it to each day via text. For example, you can have it ask you, “How many minutes did you spend in prayer?” “How long did you read with your child?” If you are trying to start a new habit, knowing you will report in each day and can see your graphed results may just keep you motivated. Free

ViMi
Ever wonder what those different vitamins and minerals do for you? This app explains why you need them and where you can find them. It makes a nice addition of tools to one who is trying to eat healthier. Free

Moodscope
Feeling moody? Wondering what has gotten you down or if there is a pattern? This app will help you measure, track, and–if you want–share, your moods. You can see what causes those ups and downs by adding notes to your levels of moods. The site has a video that explains it well. Free

S2H Bracelet or Pedometer
I bought one of these for my son last summer and he loves it (as do it teachers and karate instructor) Last fall sales for the company’s new pedometer skyrocketed after being endorsed by Dr. Oz in . They are basically activity trackers. For every 60 minutes of activity (or 10,000 steps) you earn 60 points. Then you upload your point code to the web site and you can earn prizes or coupons (like $5 off $50 at Sears, etc.). The idea is fabulous, but they need better companies to join in and offer incentives for the points. They come in children’s sizes as well as adults. About $20

What are your favorite gadgets, tools, resources to help you get in the best shape possible, despite your illness and pain? Please share them with us in the comments below. For additional health and fitness apps see Health2Apps

About the Author:
Lisa Copen is an author, speaker, and the founder of Rest Ministries which serves the chronically ill. She lives in San Diego with her husband and 8-year-old son. She is currently writing a book for Christian moms who live with chronic illness. If you are interested in sharing your stories, feedback and confessions for the book, visit her Facebook page at http://MomWithIllness.com .

I love movies. If I am watching a movie at home I feel like I need to be folding laundry or working or something. But sitting in a theater, I feel as though I am allowed (required even!) to sit in the dark and give it my full attention.

Not everyone gets to enjoy this temporary getaway, however, when it is all a bit too much for your child’s sense–or even your own. So I was thrilled to see that AMC Theaters and the Autism Society have teamed up to allow families who are affected by autism (or other disabilities–anyone qualifies) a chance to see movies in a environment that won’t overload their senses.

The idea for this program all started when one parent who had a child with autism asked for a special screening at AMC Columbia Mall 14 in Columbia, MD. And guess what? More than 300 children and parents attended the first screening! See what one person can do?

AMC Theaters has began a monthly “Sensory Friendly Films” program. They state, “In order to provide a more accepting and comfortable setting for this unique audience, the movie auditoriums will have their lights brought up and the sound turned down, families will be able to bring in their own gluten-free, casein-free snacks, and no previews or advertisements will be shown before the movie.”

And get this… you can even get up, dance, walk, sing or shout if ya feel like it. Some of us may feel like going to these films just so we can move around if we need to!

AMC’s regular “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced unless the safety of the audience is questioned. (That means no dancing on other people’s laps I think.) Check here to see if there is a theater near you. Though not all AMCs are currently participating, I suggest that if the AMC theater near you is not participating in the program yet, and you’d like to see it there, call up and ask them to do so.

• Though we’ve already missed Tin Tin which was on January 7th, here are the future listings:
• February 25 – The Secret World of Arrietty
• March 10 – Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax
• April 7 – Pirates! Band of Misfits

All shows are at 10:00 am local time.

To find out more information, as well as upcoming movie dates, see the AMC theaters website. Please share with any parents you might think could benefit from this! And. . . tell AMC theaters thank you!

-ljc

“LemonAid Crutches”(TM) is the first company to create lovely designer crutches in rich, vivid colors and gorgeous, expressive fabrics. Being on crutches can be a sad, depressing experience, but this store makes it a bit more enjoyable and a whole lot more cheerful.

On the LemonAid Crutches (TM) web site it shares, “No one wants to be on crutches. They hurt your hands, they hurt your arms and they certainly hurt your sense of style.

Many have tried to tackle the challenge of adding comfort to an uncomfortable item, but duct tape and washcloths look…well…tacky. That’s why we created designer crutch-wear that’s not only comfortable, but fun and fabulous looking.”

Founder Laurie Johnson’s personal testimony to this fact makes one realize that a little bit of encouragement can go a long way in the face of a major crisis. In August of 2002, Laurie was in a small plain crash that took the lives of her husband and small son. Laurie survived, but she found herself with broken legs and was confined to using crutches.

After the first year on crutches, Laurie and her sister decided that a little cheering-up was in order, and they began by painting Laurie’s crutches a bright color! By her second year on crutches, Laurie had mastered her technique of covering the crutches’ pads with vivid colored materials and thus the beginning of “LemonAid Crutches (TM)” was born.

One cannot imagine the devastation another one goes through when losing family members in tragic circumstances. Laurie says that she had much support to help her pick up the pieces of her life even when her life was absolutely shattered beyond repair!

Though living in devastation, Laurie started a “non-profit” foundation called “Step with Hope.” This foundation offers assistance to others who are coping with profound loss in their lives.

What a wonderful place to go to discover that something as “sad” as being on crutches for a prolong period of time can actually be turned into a fashion-statement. Why not check this place out if you know someone on crutches?

A little encouragement and cheering up can go a long way in helping someone recover from pain. And . . . if you personally are one of those who have to endure crutches for awhile, perhaps this is the web-site for you. You might find your ideal look and sense of style, making your crutches fashionable and not nearly as depressing while supporting a fantastic cause in the process.

Have you ever decorated, embellished, or painted an assistive device? Tell us about it in the comments section! How does it make you feel? What is the response of others who see it?

Debbi Farmer is a part-time writer and small business owner who loves to find wonderful sites that encourage the broken-heart. She shares, “My heart goes out to those who are suffering from profound loss such as Laurie went through. I cannot even imagine that kind of pain, but I realize even through the familiar pain of illness, the Lord is so good and I have so much to Thank Him for!”

I recently read this tip in a magazine and it really does seem to help.

Tilt your chin DOWN when swallowing instead of up, as what comes naturally since we are trying to swallow. Evidently, this position of your throat then opens up the esophagus and closes the windpipe and the pill can slide down more easily!

-ljc

Related articles

• When a Pill Gets Stuck (everydayhealth.com)
• How do I give an autistic child vitamins? (cnn.com)
• Pill-Crumbling Machines – The Automatic Pill Grinder Makes Sure You Never Skip a Dose (trendhunter.com)

I’ve been busy unpacking in my “new” place. I’m enjoying the remodel results. The unpacking has been moving slowly for several reasons: (1) my pain level can’t take too much at one time: (2) I’m rearranging things.

I decided while packing up my apartment, that this would be the time to reevaluate what I have where and why. Throughout the years, I’ve worked on getting things which help keep my pain level lower: sleep number bed in the bedroom, a high table in the kitchen, a shelving unit putting things within my reach (my pantry), and most recently the daybed and new mattress in the living room.

Yet, I didn’t think through where things were put and how they affected my pain. Until now.

One simple change I made was in the kitchen. Since lifting things up above my head is painful putting plates away in the cupboard is difficult. So, why not put the plates in a drawer?! I love it. Yes, it’s not the “conventional” way to do things, but it sure helps me. I used the silverware drawer for the plates and bowls. The silverware is now by the stove in a drawer which was for the towels and hot pads. The latter are now in a basket on a shelf (my pantry).
Moving the plates to the drawer is such a simple thing that I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner. But then plates are to go in drawers. . . until now!

So often I am caught up in the pain that I miss simple solutions around me. Oh, I fully understand those all consuming pain days. But those are the days I should work harder as changing my focus. The more I focus on the pain, I miss the solutions to lower the pain.

Maybe you don’t suffer from physical pain, but there are frustrations which can be all consuming. Perhaps at work, you are in the midst of a problem and you can’t find your way out. Take some time to think about something else. “Oh, but I don’t have time.” Well you aren’t making any progress by focusing on the problem are you?

Most often we find solutions to our problems or relief from pain, when we take a moment to change our focus. Then when we return to the problem, the solution will be very clear.

Creating a positive day isn’t possible, if I focus on ONLY the pain or the problems. When I change my focus to the positive and give my mind a rest, the solutions will come. It’s not a difficult thing, to change our focus, but it’s one that doesn’t come naturally. Next time you find yourself consumed with a problem (or pain), think about my unconventional solution—the drawer of plates.

The solution is there, if you DON’T think about it!

Rhonda Sawtelle lives with chronic headaches and pain due to failed back surgery syndrome. Her philosophy is “Create a positive day!” She enjoys watching football (Go FL Gators; Go Chicago Bears!), digital scrapbooking, and reading. To read more about how Rhonda creates a positive day, even while living with pain, visit her blog: http://createapositiveday.blogspot.com.

Many of you are familiar with Cecil Murphy, if not from one of his 100+ books, then from the lovely book, “90 Minutes in Heaven” (which we carry at Rest Ministries bookstore!)

Twila says, “We’ll have a bit of fun and give you the opportunity to learn the inside scoop on Cec. And we’ll dialogue about a different topic each weeksometimes tough topics.”

In light of so much recent news in the media about lawsuits surrounding the issue of sexual abuse, and because Cec is a survivor and has written When a Man You Love Was Abused: A Woman’s Guide to Helping Him Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation , we’ll discuss that topic during our first show. If you listen to the live streaming, call in with questions and comments at 877-864-4869. We’ll also give away a few books. If you’re unable to listen live, you’ll be able to download the shows from the Toginet website.

On Wednesday, October 6, 11 am-noon CST, Cec will do a free one-hour webinar for Kyria on identifying and overcoming abuse. He will discuss his own experience with childhood physical, verbal, and sexual abuse and how it affected his relationships and his faith into adulthood. He will also help church leaders, family members, and friends know symptoms to look for in someone they think may be abused, as well as appropriate ways to help in the healing process.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Cec knows what it means to walk the journey of cancer with someone he loves, and he’s written a beautiful, practical gift book called When Someone You Love Has Cancer: Comfort and Encouragement for Caregivers and Loved Ones . If someone you love has cancer, or if you know of a caregiver who needs a bit of comfort, this book with Cec’s spirit-lifting thoughts makes a nice gift.

And remember, these videos can all be embedded directly into YOUR web site or blog too if you have one. When the video is done playing, just click on the “share” button for the piece of code. (And… if you can click “like” too it helps us tremendously in reaching more people!) Thanks, friends,

By Lisa Saunders, Special Guest Writer

The moment I gave birth to my daughter Elizabeth in December of 1989, I felt a stab of fear—her head was so small, so deformed. Within 12 hours, I was told she had been profoundly disabled by congenital CMV (cytomegalovirus). The neonatologist said, “If she lives, she will never roll over, sit up, or feed herself.”

He was right.

Writing (& Scripture) was how I dealt with my initial shock & grief–organizing my thoughts of despair by getting them down on paper stopped them from endlessly swirling around & overwhelming me. Getting my revelations & stories inspired by Elizabeth published made me feel less alone as I connected with others. Sharing my story with others not only healed my own soul, but according to the letters I received from readers, my c&id thoughts were also bringing some healing to them. Eventually, even my sense of humor returned & I found that I was able to start writing about other things.

Many writers have asked me, “How can I get my story published?” In order to share what has (& has not) worked for me, I’ve written a FREE e-book, “How to Publish & Promote Your Work,” to help others find the same satisfaction I felt when publicly sharing my thoughts. To download it visit the web site post, Free “How to Get Published” E-Booklet & click on the “Get Published” button.

When trying to get a non-fiction book published, it is required to submit a book proposal. The publisher for my recently released book, “Anything But a Dog! The Perfect Pet for a Girl with Congenital CMV,” which is about a big, homeless dog’s devotion to my disabled daughter, gave their permission for me to include my book proposal in my free e-book. Readers can use it as a guide for their own proposals.

Share your soul!
Lisa Saunders

Note from Lisa Copen, founder of Rest Ministries: I had the opportunity to read this ebook & it’s a gem. Lisa writes it from the heart, but also provides some special stories & examples that will help you piece together your own story for a book, an article or more. It’s a wonderful tool I recommend.

We found another site to add to you money-saving bookmarks: smartsource.com & then enter your zipcode.

Another tips is look up your favorite local stores on Facebook or Twitter or ask them if they have a site that offers coupons. Lately I’ve noticed nearly every little store I go into from Smoothie King to the movies has a Facebook account for that LOCAL shop with coupons just for local customers!

And while you are clipping coupons, if you see a big ticket item with a great coupon, clip it & as you are walking down the aisle past that product, just slide the coupon on top of it on the shelf. A mom buying diapers will love that you left that $3 off coupon there for someone to use!

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When you live with a chronic illness your house can get so dreary. We are often there–at home–looking at the same old knick knacks day after day, watching those dust bunnies grow into adulthood (oh, I’m sorry, maybe that is just at my house!) Well, either way, summer is just around the corner & maybe you are looking around wondering how you could cheer the place up. Or maybe you have kids that are out of school & they are bored & need a project.

Here is a cool little tool we found! You can create a poster with the printer you have, even though your printer will only take regular sized 8 1/2 x 11 pieces of paper. Posterazor has a great video that shows how to download this free software & then how to upload your print.

I can see taking your kids’ artwork & blowing it up big & dedicating a part of the garage to be their gallery. I can imagine, rather than connecting each piece together side by side, making it a kind of artwork, framing each piece in an inexpensive matching frame & putting it one a wall. Or if there is a particular quotation you love, you could print out a very long poster to cover the wall space over a door frame.

What can you imagine?

But what about Grandma? Or is there someone in your family who refuses to jump on the FB bandwagon even though you have told them all about the fun photos and updates they are missing out on? Well, here is a solution I love: PostEgram. It’s not cheap, but considering what is does, I think the price is pretty good! And even Grandma may be willing to help out with costs so she can get the family news and photos once or twice a month (see pricing plans here, about $4.99 for 1 newsletter a month, less in bulk).

You log onto your Facebook account, choose the family member’s updates you think Grandma would like to read about and then choose the subscription plan and enter Grandma’s address. postEgram prints it out and sends it right to her, an automatically created full-colored printed newsletters of your status updates and your Facebook photos. Isn’t that kind of cool? And think of the time you will save, as well as the guilt you won’t endure over her not knowing what all is going on.

If you are going through a difficult time with your chronic illness too, and perhaps posting updates from the hospital or having a loved one post updates for you–and there are people not getting these who you would like to get them–this may be a nice solution for those not on the computer or who feel overwhelmed by the internet.

Still a little confused? They have a great video that explains it all. Now, if only they made it in large print. . . .

I haven’t tried this yet but rumor says to use the coupon code “BLISS” and they’ll send out the first issue of your “Facebook Newsletter” for free –but only to addresses in US and Canada.