An antiseptic smell I couldn’t quite place permeated the air. Perhaps it was a combination of Pine Sol and Clorox. Industrial carpet woven in blues and reds needed a vacuum. A lone ant traveled by my foot. I took the damp tissue in my hand and squashed it. A few fluorescents created shadows which revealed the starkness of the room. The barren environment mimicked the fact that I was the only occupant waiting.

It was the middle of the night, and I lay curled on my side wondering if my husband was going to live through surgery.

I also–possibly selfishly, yet realistically–wondered if my body would allow me to make it through the ordeal. Having postural intolerance, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia severely limit how much time I can be out of bed each day. Normal, everyday activities for most people, like driving to a hospital and sitting for any length of time, are a challenge for me. Doing it for hours is virtually impossible.

My life had taken on a surreal quality since the midnight phone call. A stranger had informed me that Mike was being life flighted back home from Boy Scout Camp. Was I really lying on a hospital floor hoping my body would hold out until I could get information on Mike? Maybe I should call my sister to come sit with me, but we were arguing. What about, I couldn’t remember.

All I knew was I was alone—too alone. For moments I’d seem okay, like I was holding it together; then, the realness of the situation would come over me like the feeling you get when you jump into a pool on your first day of summer vacation. You know the water will be cold, but it’s still a shock. You can’t believe you’ve gone from dripping sweat to shivering violently in the space of seconds. I tried to make sense of the frigid water, but I couldn’t. I wanted back on dry land.

My bible lay open to Psalm 23, yet all I could do was scan the words as my mind flitted about. A bottle of Gatorade with salt packets I’d asked the E.R. nurse for sat beside it. I must have left my baggie of salt at home. My cell phone, a wad of tissues and purse surrounded me. The shawl I wore for writing was draped over my chest. It reminded me of home which helped to alleviate the uneasiness of my surroundings. How much longer would I have to wait? I was trying to keep from panicking; trying to keep it together. It was a battle I was beginning to lose.

I started flipping pages in my Bible. Okay, Lord, I need some help here. I’m scared. My eyes settled on Psalm 63:8 “My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.”

I am clinging to you, God. Since I am doing that, I am going to trust Your Word that says You will uphold me. You know how I struggle with trusting You. I am weak, but You are strong. I need You, Lord. I can’t do this alone. I know that all power in heaven and earth is Yours. I’m asking You to allow Mike to stay with me. I need him. The kids need him. I’m begging You. I also know that Mike is Yours, not mine. So, for me to have peace, I surrender the love of my life into Your hands. If You take him home, I will be angry and grief stricken. But, if that is Your plan, help me to accept it. I can’t do any of this alone. I’m afraid, Jesus. Amen.

As I opened my eyes, I noticed that nothing around me had changed. The waiting room was still bathed in glowing light. Disinfectant hung heavy in the air. There was not another person in sight. And, yet, I felt different.

A tinge of peace subdued my fearful thoughts. The burden I’d been carrying on my own had eased. I felt a little freer, a little lighter. Talking with God had transferred the enormity of the situation from my limited, human hands to His powerful ones.

Honestly, I was still scared, still anxious. But, I didn’t feel alone anymore. I didn’t feel so overwhelmed. I knew God was in this with me, and that He would help me face whatever was to come. So, I did the next thing I could. I took a deep breath, gathered my soggy tissues, and went to find someone who could give me an update about Mike.

By the way, my story has a happy ending. I was able to stay at the hospital until Mike was admitted to a private room following surgery. Since that time, he has made a full recovery.

Dana Kennedy is a survivor, encourager, wife and mother. She writes a devotional column for Glory and Strength e-magazine. It has taken Dana the better part of 17 years to begin to understand the gifts God has hidden for her in chronic illness, especially Himself. Dana welcomes your contact at dtearosee@earthlink.net

Has your “healthy” spouse had a medical issue, such as a stroke, cancer, an accident, that left you reeling, wondering how things would “work out”? How did you handle the uncertainty?

By Debbi Farmer

This was a rough week for me. One of my close friends lost her battle with cancer. Shortly after this, I lost my beloved family pet after having her in my life for fourteen years. My business has been almost non-existent the past few weeks because of the bad economy, and my health has taken a serious turn for the worse lately.

I had so much I needed to say to the family of my friend. I had so much I needed to say to my family for losing their sweet pet. I needed to do more in my business, but my health would not allow it. I felt absolutely lost even knowing in my heart that the Lord was holding me and carrying me through.

When you find yourself needing to convey a message to a friend or family, but you need help with the words, well, this is where this wonderful website comes into play! I want everyone to meet a lovely lady named Nancy Beahm and I hope many will check out her website and find encouragement there for their unique situation.

Nancy offers a wonderful service by providing the words we want to say in a life changing situation to encourage another through her custom specialty greeting cards. The following is a clip or two from her website and more about Nancy and “Prayfully Yours”.

Welcome to “Prayfully Yours”!

We often think that we must go through difficult times alone. But that’s not true. Within God’s word is power and hope. It is the sustaining factor that still applies in life today.

No matter if you live with an illness or face a new life phase; have trouble asking for help or tried for a dream but failed, it all comes under the category of every day life, and no one is exempt.

We don’t have to just survive. By the power of God’s Words and Promise we can overcome anything; making no sorrow or trial ever be in vain.

Make a difference in someone’s life. Help spread the word and let people know that there are “Words of hope when life gets hard.”

~ In Christ, Nancy Beahm
Prayfully Yours is a Christian-owned and operated business

Nancy Beahm

Debbi: Please tell us a little about yourself and what inspired you to start this ministry.

Nancy:My name is Nancy Beahm and I am 55 years old, and celebrated 35 years of marriage this year to my high school sweetheart. Before my illness I had been a dental hygienist, both working in office settings and then teaching.

I then changed directions and found my way into the trucking industry where I spent the remainder of my working career before I started to become ill, which eventually led me to retire.

I accepted Jesus Christ into my life when I was in college, but didn’t fully surrender to Him for another twenty years or so. While I put God back on the shelf I attempted to heal myself of past wounds and mistakes. The more I was told to rely on God, the more I stood defiant and did the exact opposite.

Years of practicing this philosophy got me to suicide mode because I had used myself up. There was no joy, peace, nor laughter. I was empty. I ended up battling with God for my soul.

So it sounds like you were hitting bottom. What happened next?

After a very long and “messy” four days, I decided I couldn’t live my life on empty any more. I rededicated my life to Him, and for the first time in a long, long time, I felt compassion and empathy–pure joy and peace.
Nine months later I became ill and collapsed at home.

A combination of viral encephalitis, fibromyalgia, and arthritis, culminated into lack of brain and body function. For six years and eight months I couldn’t walk without using leg braces and crutches or an electric cart. My speech was so slurred few people could understand me. Reading and thought comprehension were nearly impossible. My body was in such overall agonizing pain I would vomit for days.

Medically there was nothing that could be done except for pain management.

I am so sorry about the suffering you have experienced. But I understand that God did something miraculous?

Yes! About a year before my total healing, I was woken up in the middle of the night because I felt something like “hot darts” piecing through the top of my skull. This happened at three different times throughout the year. In October of the following year, my brother and I were on the phone. During that conversation something incredible happened. To this day I cannot find the words to fully describe the sound of what we heard. It was like the the earth stood still for a second. The silence was deafening.

A week later my speech came back, I could walk and drive and think. I was healed by the power of God (and yes, a doctor has confirmed it!).

That is amazing. So often we are made to feel as though healing is dependent on our actions or how much faith we have. But you admit you aren’t perfect.

My decision to surrender my life to Christ has been one of the most important choices I’ve ever made. Following Jesus doesn’t mean that life hasn’t been hard at times, nor that I am without mistakes or failures. But it does mean that I’ve made a conscious decision to learn about, and to try as best as I am able, to follow His example. When I fail? God has taught me the importance about being brutally honest as I confess my shortcoming and then I start again.

God’s word is true and it is relevant. And when I earnestly seek Him, He heals everything that needs healing.

So, what happened next?

After my healing, I became a hospice volunteer, visiting patients and working with the family members. I became active at church and started to learn to play cello. Today, my husband and I retired to upstate Pennsylvania. I work part-time for a renewable energy/weatherization company, teach high school Sunday school, sing in choir, play cello, and I enjoy speaking to all types of groups.

Wow. Tell us about your ministry.

“Prayfully Yours” is a business that was developed in 2008 and it actually came to be because of the struggle to understand hope. I was such a driven person, but as my body began to fail me, and as I was unable to continue everything else that identified me as me (work, dance, hobbies) I found myself in a state of inability to control anything–and that I was not accustomed to. It seemed like every time I would dare to hope, the outcome of a situation, surgery, or doctor visit would not turn out the way I hoped for. So along with all the physical symptoms that were endured, I found myself getting angrier and more confused about hope. It was throughout this almost seven year journey of having everything I had and was as a person slowly stripped away from me that I eventually began to understand that hope has nothing to do with outcomes of any situation. It is the strength and motivation that gets you from Point A to Point B to Point C, etc.

What is it you most desire that others gain from your web site ministry?

One of the most difficult times during my disability was when I was out in public with people who didn’t know how to interact with me. I truly believe that most people really wanted to say the right thing, but out of either ignorance or fear, they just didn’t. I was always honest with people about what I was or was not capable of doing, but yet, they shied away or never attempted to accommodate my needs so that I could be apart of anything, even if in just a small way.

I cried often because of the hurt.

When I started writing the verses on the “Prayfully Yours” cards, I wanted to be able to give the general public a tool to help them be able to reach out to someone they knew with either a chronic or serious illness. The cards convey the reality of the difficult times, but always end up, hopefully encouraging and uplifting the person who receives it.

I have also tried to design a site where those who are ill and hurting can come and spend some time. Reading the verses, being uplifted, and finding encouragement that there are people out there who know what they are going through. That is just so important that people who are hurting know that there are people who understand and that they do not have to suffer alone. And that they know they can always reach out to someone who has not only been in their shoes, but can also keep the gift of hope for healing alive within them.

What made you chose your business name and how do you come up with some of the ideas for your card titles?

The website name was actually titled because of the “Prayfully Yours” Specialty line. I will write a card for just about any occasion or situation. After collecting information from the customer about the sentiment(s) they would like to convey, I take some time in prayer for God to lead me to write the words to touch the person who is receiving it. It is my intent that God gets all the recognition for any of the messages that are conveyed on a “Prayfully Yours” card.

Almost all of the original card topics came from my own experiences–either before, during, or after my illness. They convey how I felt at the time, and end up with the encouragement that I had wished I had received, but didn’t. I also love to get into conversations with people who are either dealing with illness and/or the caregivers so that I can keep abreast of topics that need to be written about.

Can you share a passage with our readers from one of your designs and let us know what makes them unique?

Definitions change when a person lives with chronic illness.
Getting out of bed every morning isn’t waking up,
it’s strength.
Accomplishing the necessary chores of the day isn’t housework,
it’s perseverance.
Needing rest isn’t taking it easy,
it’s recouping.
Doing this day after day isn’t a routine,
it’s overcoming
And because you prevail people see . . .
that God’s power is real.

I never liked the label of “survivor.” I truly believe that people diminish not only their strength, courage, and perseverance by using that word, I also believe that God’s healing power gets human confines put onto it. I understand that not everyone will be physically healed, and to this day I can’t even tell you for sure why I was and someone else wasn’t, but I now know that healing takes its shape in all forms; If not physical, then emotional, if not emotional then spiritual–and neither of these types of healing is any less because one may not be physically healed.

I needed to know that then, and didn’t, and my intent is to hopefully bring someone up from hating who they have become because of whatever chronic illness they now live with. People who are ill need to understand that although they may not do what everyone else can, it does not mean they are any less of a living testimony to those around them . . . and they need to be reminded of that.

The cards from “Prayfully Yours” are unique in the sense that they have a very specific niche. With intent, there is very little design and color to them so that the verse is the main thing. And it is also with intent that any major pop of color is on the inside of the card. It accompanies that last line that conveys and reminds people of God’s power and hand upon their lives. For most, these cards can be very intense.

But for those who live with chronic illness understand, that life is intent. I often say, “People either get them or they don’t.” But for those who do, they find such uplifting power in the fact that what they are feeling is actually printed right on a card.

Is there anything you would like our readers to know more about you and your site and/or why you feel your card ministry will help our readers at Rest Ministries?

There’s not too much more to say, except that the purpose of these cards is to pass on the Word of God and to encourage those who need the strength to get through very difficult days. For if I had gone through what I did and could not have found someway, some how to use that time in my life for God’s purpose and good, then my six years and eight months would have been in vain.

I hope those who visit the site, spend time reading all that is there. I hope that they return again and again whenever they find themselves needing a word of encouragement. I hope they lead others who are not ill to the site so that they can read what their loved ones are going through.

And of course, I would love for people to start spreading the Word through a “Prayfully Yours” card so that others can reconnect with their courage, their strength, their hope . . . and above all, God.

Thank you, Nancy. Your words of encouragement are such a blessing today. My prayer is that many will find encouragement from your website and your unique greeting cards.

Visit Nancy Beahm’s web site at www.prayerfullyours.com. You can find the illness-specific cards here. You can also find her on Facebook.

Part-time writer, Deborah (Debbi) Farmer is also a small business owner, wife and mom, and Christian Soldier, despite living with several chronic illnesses’. Debbi loves to find encouraging websites and “gems in the rough” that she can pass on to others.

One of my all-time favorite books is The Art of Helping: What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting by Lauren Littauer Briggs. In fact, I am very honored to have a section in it for those with chronic illness. But the whole book is helpful for those of us who, well, care. And it is one of the few books I believe should be on the desk of every pastor and church secretary! So much so that when it was first published we offered it as part of our HopeKeepers Start Up Kit! And I wrote a review for the book on Amazon in 2006 (see it under Lisa Copen “RestMinistries”)

I am so excited to see that the author, Lauren, is doing a blog tour to share about this book again, as it it never out of date! The Art of Helping—What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting addresses 30 of the most common heartaches people face and takes away your fear of involvement by helping you understand what people are feeling and going through. From over 100 interviews and her own life experiences, Author Lauren Briggs shares proven advice and offers practical help with a list of what to say— and do. There is even a section on how to comfort people who have suffered the loss of a pet.

Lauren gave us a few minutes of her time to explain why she believes this book is one that is practical in the hands of many.

Why should I read The Art of Helping?

Do you know someone who is facing a crisis and wondered what you could do to help? Have you ever faced a difficult time and wished your family and friends knew what you were going through and knew how to help you?

I found that during my darkest hours, no one knew how much I was hurting, what I was going through or how they might help.

This is a book you’ll want to read before you need it—so that you will have ideas of what you can do and how you can respond—when you first hear the news. We want to help our family and friends through the hard times, but the right words or actions just don’t come to mind. The Art of Helping will give you the tools and enable you to turn thoughts into action.

If I was to ask you, “How will The Art of Helping change me?” what would you say?

The Art of Helping is your go to book when life gets tough. It is a social Bible filled with concrete, tangible action items to empower you to make a difference at times when we would otherwise feel helpless. When people get this book in their hands, they always say, “How I wish I had this book when my friend needed help.”

Yes, I think all of us who are chronically ill have often wished that people had a better idea of how to reach out to us. Sometimes when we live with illness, we think of everything in terms of that as our definition of suffering. But there are so many kinds of suffering in life! I wonder if you could share with us some of the basic Do’s and Don’ts that could be helpful for anyone–not just those with a chronic condition?

Sure! Here are some of my best tips!

DON’T wait before you make contact.
DO Respond as soon as you hear the news.

DON’T SAY “If there’s anything you need, give me a call.”
DO Offer a specific thing you can do.

DON’T put pressure on yourself to do something you don’t like to do.
DO use your gifts and talents to help.

DON’T minimize what they are going through.
DO offer caring statements of acknowledgement.

DON’T ASK “When will you be your old self again? or Aren’t you over it yet?”
DO understand that once their life is touched by tragedy, they will never be their “old self” again. They will eventually reach a “new normal” but life will never be the same.

Wonderful! Yes, I think those apply to anyone going through a difficult time. You have so many specific examples in the book. That is one of my favorite parts because it really personalizes it. Can you share with us some of your favorite creative suggestions in The Art of Helping?

Yes, here are some of my favorites!

• A mother of two young children picked up a hurting family’s laundry on Mondays, took it home and returned it all laundered and folded on Thursdays.
• A man volunteered to come mow the lawn once a week and do some simple “honey do” chores.
• My sons brought their game boy to the hospital for a friend going through chemo therapy. Every few days they would bring a different game to swap.

Those all sound wonderful. I know sometimes it’s the little things that make a huge difference for those of us who are hurting–both physically or emotionally. I am so glad to see that after a few years this book is still reaching so many people. It truly it timeless, Lauren. Can you tell our readers how they can I learn more about The Art of Helping?

The Art of Helping is reshaping the way people reach out to others. You can find more information at my website: www.laurenbriggs.com. You can also follow me on Facebook as and on Twitter as @Laurenbrgs. The Art of Helping is available both as an ebook and hard copy through Amazon.com. See the Kindle version here. If you would like an autographed copy of The Art of Helping, email me.

Thank you, Lauren! Readers! Lauren has graciously donated a copy of her book to one of you! Please take a moment to share a way that either (1) you encouraged someone who was hurting; (2) someone encouraged you when you were hurting; (3) a creative way you would like to encourage someone who is hurting.

We will pick the one that is most CREATIVE. . . so think hard! Post your comment below in the comments section and if you are chosen we will email you to get your postal address and Lauren will send the book right out!

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is the author of Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend, another great book to add to your “encouragement book shelf!” She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

In this scenario Mr. Robertson has shown the world that one’s personal comfort, especially in the case of having a spouse with a chronic illness, is more important than the marriage vows of “for better or for worse, until death do us part.”

The religious broadcaster Pat Robertson and chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) told his “700 Club” viewers that divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer’s is justifiable because the disease is “a kind of death.”

During the segment of the show where he answers questions from viewers, Robertson was asked what advice a man should give to a friend who began seeing another woman after his wife started suffering from the Alzheimer’s Disease.

He responds, “I know it sounds cruel, but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her,” Robertson said.

When Terry Meeuwsen, Robertson’s co-host, asked him about couples’ marriage vows to take care of each other “for better or for worse” and “in sickness and in health” I thought he may be able to redeem himself, if he wasn’t sure what hole he had just dug for himself. . .but he didn’t.

“If you respect that vow, you say `til death do us part,’ This is a kind of death.”

It was perhaps this clarification that made me most annoyed me. Besides the statement on divorce, I was also frustrated to hear Robertson emphasize that, in the case of Alzheimer’s the person is “gone.”

He says, “I hate Alzheimer’s. It is one of the most awful things because here is a loved one—this is the woman or man that you have loved for 20, 30, 40 years. And suddenly that person is gone. They’re gone. They are gone.” (emphasis added). Robertson said that the viewer’s friend could obey the vow of “death till you part” because the disease was a “kind of death.”

Joel Hunter, senior pastor of the 15,000 member Northland Church in Orlando, FL is quoted as saying, “Obviously, you could do this for anything. … ‘My husband watches and plays video games, and so he has left the marriage and it’s kind of like a death,’” he said. “It’s not death, and so we can’t start describing things as death that are really not death, and we have to stop trying to mischaracterize what Scripture says for our own convenience.”

Though loved ones of a person who lives with Alzheimer’s Disease may feel the person they once knew has faded away, if that person is still alive on this earth–God still has a purpose and a plan of his or her life–regardless of how “meaningless” their life may seem to others.

My grandfather had Alzheimer’s and lived in assisted living at the end of his years. Even though in his 90s when he died, his memorial service was packed full of people who wanted to celebrate his life–many who didn’t even know him before the Alzheimer’s set in. He impacted many, many lives, even when he had little memory.

We never know what nurse may be living a life of abuse at home, what physical therapist has asked God for a sign of His faithfulness today, what doctor has just lost his wife to cancer. . . and that a patient with Alzheimer’s may be the one who encourages him or her that day.

Joni Eareckson Tada also made a public statement on her website Joni and Friends:

“I was dismayed when this week Pat Robertson said to a nationwide audience that Alzheimer’s disease is a kind of death that makes divorce justifiable. When a Christian leader views marriage on a sliding scale, what does this say to the millions of couples who must deal daily with catastrophic injuries and illnesses?”

Marriage is designed to be a picture of God’s sacrificial love for us. Alzheimer’s disease is never an ‘accident’ in a marriage; it falls under the purview of God’s sovereignty. In the case of someone with Alzheimer’s, this means God’s unconditional and sacrificial love has an opportunity to be even more gloriously displayed in a life together!”

To put a “value” on any life based on what one can remember or what one can do, is to make us all replaceable to our loved ones. What if my coping skills crack under the stress of chronic pain? What if my husband didn’t want to deal with me when I had the flesh eating bacteria? What if we all gave up on our spouse every time life got tough and we said, “S/he just isn’t the same person anymore. . . “?

Is every marriage like Noah and Allie in The Notebook? No, we don’t live in Hollywood. But could we learn something about their faithfulness to one another despite life’s difficulties, including Alzheimer’s? Yes.

May God open the eyes of Mr. Robertson, and may we cover the many in prayer who heard is message and now believe their acts of leaving a spouse who is suffering is justifiable because “they just aren’t the same person I married.”

It is a sad thing to see our Christian leaders conforming to the world’s views so that people can live a life of comfort, while sometimes the world, such as in the movie The Notebook gets it right, showing true compassion.

Video of the 700 Club broadcast

Video of touching scenes from The Notebook

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

I thought about it for a moment and replied, “Well, if it was me, I would think, ‘Gee, I must have been looking really terrible!’ As much as I intellectually know it is a compliment, it would not make me feel good, but rather worse about myself.”

“I understand what you’re saying,” said another woman. “Because it is still a comment on our outward appearance.”

Scripture tells us, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

When we receive comments on our physical appearance is easy to interpret these in two ways:

1. You don’t how poorly my body feels underneath all this skin! I may look great, but I feel awful. You aren’t “seeing” the real me.

2. You don’t know what is going on with my emotional or spiritual state right now (either of which could be having a high or low moment.) I’m glad I don’t look terrible, but there is so much mre to me than just my appearance.

Why Should We Be So Careful to What We Say to Those with Illness?

We are to attempt to be more Christlike in our actions and Scripture tells us in 2 Corinthians 4:16, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”

I have known the pastor who asked this question for over 30 years, Never in any way would he want to hurt someone or take the chance that his words could be misunderstood. He actively lives compassion every day.

So this is one of those opportunities that I want to point out that there is room for education and information out there in our churches for even the most spiritually mature to better understand how their words can impact those who live chronic illness.

So often we want to say what we want to say, and we want to figure out an explanation for why we should get to say it. But instead, we must consider what the person most needs to hear–not what we want to say.

Job asks in Job 6:26, “Do you mean to correct what I say, and treat the words of a despairing man as wind?” Even those who are men of God has Job was feel like when they are despairing, the words of friends need to be carefully communicated.

Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Wow. We may realize that our bones may not literally be healed just by kind words, but if you have experienced someone saying “the right thing” at the right moment, you know how much lighter you feel, your spirit renewed, simply by words.

If we are truly trying to reach out and comfort those with chronic illness, especially those who do not yet know Jesus, then we must come to them with the very gentlest and most sincere words that they are receptive to hear.

What are some of your favorite things to hear?

When someone tells you that you look good what does your inner self feel?

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and some days no one would tell her, “you look so good.” I think when you try to look good it’s nice when someone notices the effort. When you look horrible and you know it, it feels more condescending–even if people have the best of intentions.

Related articles

• Is Suffering Inevitable But Fear Optional? (chronicillnesspaindevotionals.wordpress.com)

By Carol Gray

I have hated nursing homes ever since I toured one as a girl scout in 1978. It was difficult being an eight-year-old girl walking the hallways, passing rooms of the dying. I wondered, did I actually sign up for this? Did I really bring home a permission slip for this field trip? What was the sales-pitch by the scout master, oh yeah, I would get a patch…those darn patches!

The “Service and Citizenship” patch would be the reward for entertaining the elderly for the day. I remember thinking that most of them did not look at us with sentiment, only desperation; as if they wanted us to help them escape the inevitable.

How depressing.

I took that patch and hid it away in my drawer hoping to forget about the entire experience.

In 2008, some 30 years later, I had to step back into a nursing home for the first time since that terrifying event. My grandmother-in-law was dying. Realizing I may never get to say one last goodbye, I had to enter this place.

I sat in the parking lot breathing deeply with flashes of those Girl Scout memories. It is funny what memories do to the brain because I swear the smell came back to me before I even opened the door to the building.

When my hand reached onto the corroded brass door handle, a miraculous feeling came over me. I had a sense of power. It was as if the anxiety seeped out of me and onto the welcome mat.

I knew this was God, but why?

As I strolled down the hallways, those same hallways showing the dying in just about each room, I felt love. As I saw a man with one leg in a wheel chair in the hallway scooting down the hall with that leg, I felt love.

As I heard a woman screaming because she was in too much pain to move just a centimeter on her side in order to get her shot, I felt love. Not fear, not anxiety and definitely not thinking about getting a patch. I knew this was God. . . again I thought, why?

I found grandma. She looked emaciated and tired. Cancer was devouring her, yet she was aware of who I was. I sat down by her side, held her hand, massaging her paper thin skin. With the power that came over me at the front door of the nursing home, I blurted out to her “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?”

Now I know why. God’s power is such a beautiful thing.

To my surprise she replied, “I can’t, I can’t. . . I have done too many bad things in my life.”

I told her God knows everything you have done, yet He loves you anyway.

I asked again, “Will you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?”

She said YES, vigorously!

We then prayed together.

I left there with an enormous amount of peace, never wanting to forget this experience. I plan to volunteer my time at nursing homes now.

Only God can take away fears and anxieties turning them into triumph. Wow, what a patch my Scout Master has given me. Except it is not hidden away in some drawer, it is embroidered on my heart.

Grandma died the next day, no doubt hanging out with her personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen!

Carol Gray resides in Fishers Indiana, a suburb of Indianapolis. She is a recent graduate of Indiana Wesleyan University where she went back to get her degree, 20 years after entering the work force.  Carol loves to write, is an avid blogger, and is currently working on a Christian children’s book with her 12-year old son.