What To Do For Those Who Are Hurting When You Don’t Know What To Do

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As the holidays approach more people than usual are looking for ways to reach out to help a hurting friend. Sadly, this shouldn't be a seasonal event, but something we do all year round. But most people just don't know how to do that reaching out! Well, thanks to a wonderful book we don't have that excuse any longer! One of my all-time favorite books is The Art of Helping: What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting by Lauren Littauer Briggs. In fact, I am very honored to have a section in it for those with chronic illness. But the whole book is helpful for those of us who, well, care. And it is one of the few books I believe should be on the desk of every pastor and church secretary! So much so that when it was first published we … [Read more...]

Q&A: What Do I Do About My Friend Who Keeps Bringing Me Down?

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I have a friend who I've known for years.  We used to go out partying before my diagnosis, but now I've really become grounded in my faith, because God is the only thing that has gotten me through. She keeps saying she "knows the real me" and I cannot possibly be satisfied with this life I have now.  Whenever I share something I've learned while living with illness or about anything good in my life, she has something negative to say about how much I am missing out on in life because of my illness. I care about her, but I just don't know if I can continue to be around her right now if she keeps this up. - Kelly Hi, Kelly, Do you know someone who is the same now as they were 30 or even 40 years ago? They love to complain and stir up … [Read more...]

A Gift For a Best Friend Who Is Ill Can Be Patio Decorations

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When you have a friend who is ill, it can be difficult to think of some fresh ideas for small little things to bring some cheer to his or her life. In this video, Lisa Copen, author of "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend" supplies ideas of gifts to cheer up a friend who is ill, which can be store bought or homemade wind chimes, gardening tools for arthritis or garden flags. It can be nice to bring real flowers or plants, but then the person who is ill can feel guilty when the plants die. See how a cute decorative garden flower or wind chime can be a wonderful present. You can find more of these videos all at one web site, beyondcasserolesvideos.com . … [Read more...]

Does Grief Have a Timeline?

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By Georgia Shaffer "My friend is stuck in grief. . . what can I do to help?"  This is a question I often hear, and I've learned to ask, "What do you mean your friend is stuck in grief?"  Usually they will say something like, "Well, her husband died 14 months ago, and she's still very depressed.  Isn't it about time she moves forward with her life?"  Or, they may say, "His wife moved out a year ago, and he's in worse shape now than when she left him." Surprisingly, the problem isn't that these people are stuck in grief. The issue is that their friends don't realize how long it can take to heal and rebuild after a heart-wrenching loss.  As a psychologist and someone who has experienced deep sorrow, I've seen too many people hurt by … [Read more...]

We Really Need to Talk: Authors of “Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired” Have New Book on Communication

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By: Paul J. Donoghue, PhD and Mary E. Siegel, PhD We all need to talk to relieve tension within us and to connect with people who matter to us. But those of us who are ill really need to talk. Illness threatens our well being, evokes strong emotions, heightens our needs, and makes us more dependent on others. To cope well with all these factors we need to talk. Yet illness often leads us to isolate, to retreat into out own world of pain, fatigue, vulnerability, and fear. When we emerge from our silence, we frequently drive away those we need by blurting our thoughts formed by fear. Blame: You don't care! You don't understand! You only think of yourself. Hopeless remarks: Why don't you just leave me? I can't take it … [Read more...]

Battery Operated Flameless Candles Great Gift Idea For Chronically Ill By Beyond Casseroles Author Lisa Copen

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As Autumn is upon us we are tempted to go buy those sweet smelling candles that have scents of pumpkin, spice cake, apples and more. I do love them and it creates a cozy mood, especially when the time changes and it gets dark earlier. But I’ve not hand a candle with a wick and a flame for years due to my own concern about remembering to put it out or bump it. Join me in the video below for a few minutes as I share my first tip from Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend . And remember, these videos can all be embedded directly into YOUR web site or blog too if you have one. When the video is done playing, just click on the “share” button for the piece of code. (And… if you can click “like” … [Read more...]

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