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Two Special Horses

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it.
From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse.
But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing…
Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind.
His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him.

This alone is amazing.

If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell.
Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field.
Attached to the horse’s halter is a small bell.
It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow.

As you stand and watch these two friends,
You’ll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse,
And that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk
To where the other horse is,
Trusting that he will not be led astray.

When the horse with the bell returns
To the shelter of the barn each evening,
It stops occasionally and looks back,
Making sure that the blind friend isn’t too far behind to hear the bell.

Like the owners of these two horses,
God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect
Or because we have problems or challenges.

He watches over us and even brings others into our lives
To help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse
Being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives.
Other times we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way….

Good friends are like that.
You may not always see them, but you know they are always there.
Please listen for my bell and I’ll listen for yours.

And remember…
Be kinder than necessary-
Everyone you meet is fighting
Some kind of battle.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly…….

And leave the rest to God!

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I’ve lost my temper and let my friend have it. The problem is that though I was right in what I said, I was wrong in how I said it. Now my friend is hurt and I’m not sure our relation-ship can be restored. What should I do? Signed: Missing My Friend

Dear Missing My Friend,
Many a friendship’s been lost and many a church has been split over an offense. But what the enemy would use to destroy relationships, God can use to make them better.

Here are some steps you can take to restore your broken friendship:

1. You already know this, but never say what ‘you really think’ when you’re angry. Instead, when God presses on your heart to speak out, do so in truth, gentleness and love.
2. But when you do lose your temper, seek God’s forgiveness. Ask him to turn the situation with your friend into a miracle.
3. Never let your pride be a road block. You may well have been right in what you told your friend, but God may call you to humble yourself and to seek your friend’s forgiveness.
4. When apologizing, admit where you were wrong by saying something like, “I’m sorry I lost my temper. I love you and I would feel terrible if my bad behavior were to come between us. I’m so very sorry I hurt you. Please forgive me.”
5. Many times, just by humbling yourself, your friend is released to hear your heart instead of what she heard when you lost your temper; condemnation. Tell your friend, “I will stand by you regardless of what you decide to do.”
6. Stop fighting. Keep all your great arguments to yourself. If God opens the conversation to flow in a loving way, then go with the flow. But whatever you do, let go of trying to control the situation yourself.

Linda Evans Shepherd is the founder and president of Right to the Heart ministries and is a speaker and best-selling author. She is a humorist with a message and has empowered thousands across North America and Europe to release their burdens to God and walk more closely with him. Her ministries have seen over 350,000 people come to faith.

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Being a HopeKeepers Facilitator I found out quickly that caregivers don’t receive enough praise and thanks for all they do and have to go through. I know! I have one of the best, and I am so very thankful for the husband God has given me!

I would like to share with you a story of a very young caregiver who has blessed so many as we are privileged to watch her each Sunday. She is about six or seven years old, and goes to our church with her Mommy, Daddy, and little sister. I will call her Amy. (not her actual name)

Her Mommy has Muscular Dystrophy, her Daddy is blind. A friend went to the same college as these two special people, and would watch them as they filled each others needs. He, pushing her in her wheelchair to classes. She, being the eyes he doesn’t have. They later married, and now have two beautiful little girls.

It is such a blessing to see him lift her from the drivers seat of their van built to accommodate her special needs, set her in her wheelchair, and then Amy basically takes over.

She takes her Daddy’s hand and guides him to the church door while Mommy holds the hand of little sister, and wheels herself to the church door, also. Usually an usher opens the door for all of them, but if one is not around, Amy tugs on the door, with a little help from Mommy, and they all proceed from there.

As Amy’s parents visit with people in the Narthex, Amy watches her little sister who loves to slip away any time she can. Amy is never very far from her, and brings her back where she can be seen by Mommy. Amy is usually close by when a family member needs a drink of water, or help with getting a cup of coffee, choosing the sweetener, creamer, stir stick, etc. She sees that they have Kleenex when needed. I could go on and on with all the ways little Amy helps care for her family.

When it’s time to enter the sanctuary, a lump grows in many people’s throats as we watch Amy hold her Daddy’s hand, and guide him to a seat in the front. She makes sure her Mommy has a place to sit on the aisle, and then sees that the lock is on the wheelchair – just in case her Mommy forgets. She and her little sister sit between Mommy and Daddy, and when it’s time for praise and worship, I can’t tell you what a feeling comes over me as I see little Amy stand with hands raised to the Lord, singing her heart out! And, when you get to know Amy, you know she is really praising in earnest. She has been taught about Jesus, and she lets you know she belongs to Him.

She does go to children’s church, as she feels her parents will have help by other church members if they should need it while she is gone. She leads her little sister out with her and sees that she gets to her class….and back to the family after class is over.

I haven’t been to this couple’s home, but I’ve been told by those who have, that Amy does even more to help when they are at home. She has done all these things from the time they started coming to our church, and Amy wouldn’t have been more than four years old at that time.

Of course, all care isn’t on Amy’s little shoulders. Others help, too. But, I just felt the need to share a beautiful story of a special caregiver. They are all “very special” in their own way, and what would some of us do without them?

I hope you will join me as I give kudos to all the hard-working, willing, helpful caregivers. There is no way we can ever thank you enough! But, God knows, and is keeping a record. Someday you will hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Thank You, Father for giving we who live with chronic illness such special helpers. May their “cups run over” with Your blessings!

Alice Ervin lives each day with several chronic illnesses, but still feels so blessed to be able to do some of the things that are important to her, even though she does have to pace herself. She is thankful for a loving God Who “makes good come from all things.”

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God,” (Psalm 20:7)

Here I am sitting in a hospital waiting room while a close relative has surgery. Even though we have our own illnesses to deal with, at times it is someone in our family.

This sort of situation can be a challenge for us. Just the going to doctors to find out what is wrong with our loved ones, and other details we have to attend to, can be rough. Then we might need to care for them at our home for a while at times.

In my case I found I needed to go back on anxiety medicine temporarily to stay calm. Even though my mind feels calm, emotions just rise up that need attention for me to stay calm and be able to do what needs to be done.

To some it may not appear that I am trusting the Lord, but I am. I am prayerfully trusting God all will go well.

It seems during times like these that the Lord gives me the strength needed and my health seems to be in a holding pattern to enable me to do what is needed. But it is wearing and not all can be a caretaker for others, even on a temporary basis.

Sometimes we are not able to be with a loved one when they are ill because they live too far away. That was the case with my dear mother a few years ago. It was hard to accept not being there for her.

This is real life. Life does not stop for others just because we are ill. We need to stay close to our Savior at all times. It will help us with the unexpected things that happen in our lives.

Prayer: Lord, please help us to trust in You and You alone when our loved ones are ill. Yes, you often use doctors to help, but it is in Your name that we trust.

About the Author:
CarolAnn Adams, who lives in Ohio has had chronic illness for most of 15 years. She had been active in many church ministries, but is no longer able to. So she ministers to others through writing a blog, devotionals and listening to and encouraging others with chronic illnesses.

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By Georgia Shaffer

Sara sat looking totally overwhelmed. At the age of thirty-five, she had learned she had breast cancer. “I feel like I just got hit by a Mack truck,” Sara said.

As a licensed psychologist in Pennsylvania and a cancer survivor who, 18 years ago, was given a 2 percent chance to be alive in 10 years, I know from personal experience cancer patients confront many challenges that we as counselors need to understand. The shock of the initial diagnosis is only one of the issues they face.

Challenge #1: Making Wise Choices When My Head’s Still Spinning

In spite of numbness and disbelief, within a short time Sara had to share her diagnosis with family and friends, grasp the latest research for her type of cancer, decide on her medical team, choose the treatment plan, and draw up legal documents such as a living will and a power of attorney.

It is during this emotionally draining time, people like Sara need someone to calmly (a non-anxious presence) help them sort through all they’re experiencing and to decide “what is it I need to deal with right now? What is the next step for me?” Encouraging clients to create a notebook or file system where they can manage all their medical information is another way to help them focus at a time when life seems out of control.

Challenge #2: Realizing the Relational Impact that Comes with Cancer

“Now that I have cancer, I don’t understand why some of my friends aren’t talking to me. Are they worried they will get it, too?” Sara asked.

Unfortunately, it isn’t unusual for people to avoid or distance themselves from those suffering. And many times those family and friends who don’t pull away ‘aren’t there’ in the way the cancer patient desires.

While some patients may be tempted to let their pain or unmet expectations isolate them, cancer needs a community of people. Some research has shown that those who participate in a support group can improve their quality of life and their survival rate.

Sara was able to find a faith-based support group that reminded her she wasn’t alone and provided a safe place to share how she really felt.

Challenge #3: Finding the Peace of God

“I’m so angry with God right now,” Sara said. “I’m embarrassed to be in church.”

Some people respond with anger and doubt as they wrestle with many unanswered questions. For others, the diagnosis of cancer drives them straight to the arms of God. They report experiencing God in a powerful, intimate way.

It’s important to allow our clients to work through all their feelings as they seek the peace that passes all understanding-a process for which there is no time frame. As one wise Christian friend reminded someone struggling with their faith, “You’re not losing your faith, you’re living it.”

Challenge #4: Being Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Being bald and weak with new symptoms popping up every few days can get old pretty quickly. The effects of the cancer treatments can be insidious. It isn’t one bad week that slowly erodes our physical, emotional and mental resources as much as it is month after month of dealing with the illness and other issues such as hassles with the insurance companies.

Sara needed her counselor to walk beside her during this desert experience as she grieved over the loss of things like her hair and her lifestyle. And she needed to be reminded that with God’s help she could not only “go” through this but she could “grow” through it as well.

Challenge #5: Understanding the End of Treatments is Not All Good

With the realization she would no longer be seeing the doctors or nurses each week and actively fighting the cancer with medical procedures, Sara discovered the emotions she had ignored while in survival mode now screamed for attention.

It’s usually at this point in the battle with cancer that people are more prone to anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts. They realize their life has forever changed. It’s also during this time that family, friends and co-workers begin to withdraw-no longer actively reaching out with calls, meals or support. As counselors, we need to remember that for the cancer survivors the end of treatment can mark the beginning of some real emotional struggles.

Challenge #6: Living with Uncertainty

What if they didn’t get it all? What if the cancer comes back? What if I’m too weak to work and support myself? These were just a few of the fears that haunted Sara each day.

Helping our clients consider how they will manage or what they will do if the cancer returns can actually empower them. When I was told I had a slim chance of seeing my then nine-year-old son graduate from high school I prayed for the best but I planned for the worst.

Challenge #7: Rebuilding while Redefining Normal

“I want my normal life back again but my whole world has changed,” Sara said.

Cancer survivors, regardless of the amount of time they have, often approach life with a whole new intensity and with clarity about what’s most important to them. As counselors, we can guide them toward a life of meaning and purpose as they accept and learn to appreciate the new normal.

“Cancer was never anything I would have chosen,” Sara said, “but in many ways the experience enriched my life.”

Georgia Shaffer, M.A. is a life coach, licensed psychologist in Pennsylvania and the author of A Gift of Mourning Glories: Restoring Your Life after Loss. As a professional speaker, Georgia’s audiences include oncology caregivers, cancer survivors and wellness groups. You can contact her at www.GeorgiaShaffer.com.

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“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”(Matthew 5:16)

In having “silent” chronic illnesses, such as fibromyalgia and epilepsy, I have found some people do not understand the symptoms and feelings I experiencing, such as the deep muscle pain, fatigue or the fear constantly inside of me over when the next seizure would come. I wouldn’t tell anyone. I felt all alone in the world.

However, when I made the choice to change my attitude toward the illness, everything changed for the better. I prayed and lifted up my symptoms and paralyzing feelings to God. I was no longer embarrassed by not being able to do as much as other friends of mine could do.

If a friend asked if I wanted to go out that night, I simply said I could not do anymore for that day. When it was too cold out for me to go to a gathering, I would explain my muscle pain was acting up that day. When I was feeling fear due to a seizure, I shared it with one of my close friends. I left my friend’s reaction up to God.

What I noticed, to my relief, was that there was more understanding from them than I thought. When I explained my illness if they asked, they said that they also had a family member or friend with that disease. This would open the door to me helping them or their loved one cope with chronic illness. I had a chance to allow my light to shine for God’s glory.

Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for turning all things, including “silent” symptoms and feelings to work together for good for Your glory.

About the Author:
Jodi Wheeler is a freelance Christian writer who resides in Tucson, Arizona. She enjoys writing articles and Bible studies for God’s glory. She desires to pass on the messages of hope and encouragement she has found in Christ. Christ is the one who not only gave her the ability to cope with the chronic illness, but pulled her through to the other side with a new strength and hope in Christ.

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