So we turn to our church for guidance, for acceptance, for unconditional support during the most difficult time in our life.

But churches are made up of people—all of us imperfect. And our church does not always give us what we need; in fact, sometimes, the people say things that hurt us even more.

“Everything will work out fine. Just keep praying.”
“If you just came to Bible study I am sure getting your mind off the pain would make it all go away.”
“You need to keep praying for healing. Remember that verse when Jesus asked the disabled man if he wanted to get well?”

We asked our readers, What would you like your pastor to know about living with a chronic illness and your need to serve others, or be ministered to, within the body?

Here are some of your heart-felt replies.

Please feel free to add your own comments below about what you would like your pastor to know. Remember, this is not a forum to vent about everything your church did wrong, but rather, honestly and kindly tell us what you would like your pastor to know about illness, your life, etc. so that he and the church body can better minister to those with chronic illness.

• I know I am young and you may not believe I am feeling well enough for leadership, but the Lord has worked in my life in so many ways through my illness and I am bursting to be a part of an “illness ministry” to encourage others. Please make some time to sit down and let me share my new calling with you. —Renee
• It is very difficult for me to get to church due to the fact that the services are about three hours long and I have problems sitting for long periods of time. When I come, I have to choose between worship or the sermon. No one ever calls or checks to see why I am not there and I used to be one of their Sunday school teachers. I think they have a problem with the fact that I am one of those that have not been healed. —Doris
• Every time we have gone to church and we have gone for prayer and I have sought out help, people keep telling me one of two things: “Patty, by His Stripes, You are healed. . . You must have faith; if you have faith then you will be healed,” or “You must not be praying hard enough.” I can’t tell you how much that hurts, and how I keep feeling like a failure when I am told that. —Patty
• Some of us simply want to rest confidently in the Lord and rely on Him for provision during long periods of ill health. I want rest, calm and privacy—not to be cut off from kindly connection with people—but not to have knocks on my door at all hours of the day and night, either! —Caron
• There needs to be a ministry devoted entirely to helping others: meals to the woman who just had a baby or rides to doctor appointments. Please help me out by seeing past the “you look fine, so you must feel fine” mentality. —Bridget
• Those who live with chronic illness need understanding first, love second, and challenge third. There are times when an ill person can’t function, and the church and its leaders need to be understanding, prayerful and available—for solving practical needs as well as spiritual counsel. —Kay
• Find out limitations, hindrances to participation. Ask, “What barriers, hindrances are there that prevent you from coming to church, worshipping with us, participating fully?” or “What can we do to help you to be able to participate more fully in church life?”
• Be supportive, take me seriously, not down-playing my illness and yet not drawing too much attention to it either. Suggest helpful tapes, books and articles that help me keep my eyes focused on God.
• I’d like people in the church to ask how they can help me in practical ways and offer some suggestions of what they could do, such as: rides to doctors, doing shopping, baking or housecleaning.
• Invite me to activities even if I probably can’t attend and when inviting, give as much details re the proceedings, program, length, environment, etc as you can. Don’t be hurt if I can’t come.
  —Marguerite
• Even though I went through physical therapy and rehabilita-tion, I was unable to continue working. This was very devastating. In the months following the accident, I learned to rely on my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for comfort.
• My husband was also disabled and this caused a greater stress. I was most grieved because my church family didn’t visit and the telephone calls were few. Don’t just tell people you’re praying for them. Come pray with them. Don’t ask if there’s anything you can do, come prepared to do!
• Don’t ask if there is a financial need; think of the expenses you have in your household and, if they don’t have an income, there has to be a need. Don’t think that because they aren’t complaining they aren’t hurting. Don’t tell them to “give their problems to God.” Take that person and their problems in your hands and hold them up before God. —Wanda
• Please don’t discuss details of my illness with others without my expressed permission. When someone asks how I’m doing, they don’t need to know that I now have a catheter. Ask me, “When others ask, what shall I tell them?” I will be happy to tell you how much information to share. —Rev. Koiv
• My pastor feels very uncomfortable with people who cannot work hard and “Go! Go! Go!” for the Lord. His sermons are filled with “You must do this and you must do that!” I leave the service beaten up in spirit because my body is unable to “Go! Go! Go!” I fight depression because of the chronic pain and lack of sleep so I’m not “Happy! Happy! Happy!” all of the time. He feels that if you don’t “whistle while you work” then you better get on your knees before God! (Like I could get down on my knees and then get up again?) —Judy
• My church seems to operate under the misconception that a person who is disabled by a chronic illness, as I am, doesn’t need to serve the church. They are content with my just showing up for worship when I am able.
• I feel a compelling need to serve my Lord and my church. But I am no longer physically able to fill any of their traditional roles offered as service opportunities. When suggesting possible alternatives, I am met by rejection where it might cause someone else more work, or they just can’t see out of ‘the box’, or simply patted on the head and told to rest and not worry. This makes me feel useless, helpless, and a “lesser” person in the church – a burden.
• My disability makes it extremely difficult for me to counteract these obstacles – I need my pastor or another leader to champion my cause for me. I need him to teach/motivate others in the church to extend a hand so that I might participate as fully as God allows. —Jean
• As my pain grew worse over time, I realized that I could not do all the ministry that I wanted to do and had been doing; I am the pastor’s wife and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It was difficult for me to admit to our congregation that it was physically necessary for me to relieve myself of certain duties since I appeared fine. I periodically missed church, but I tried to go no matter how I felt.
• As time went on, I decided to give up areas of ministry: I quit teaching; I quit singing in the choir; I quit being the secretary. I stood up in a service and, by way of testimony, explained my situation. The people were very supportive and did not look down on me because I was withdrew myself from ministry. Our church was encouraged to get behind me and hold me up. My (pastor) husband made sure that he provided updates on my progress. It was important to me that he validated my illness and supported my decisions.
• It is difficult when someone steps down from ministry in order to attend to the physical needs of their bodies. But God has told us that this is his Temple and we are to take care of it. God sent new families to our church during my time of hiatus from ministry. My husband was very influential in plugging them into the vacant ministries. Because he supported me and my decision to remove myself, others were given the opportunity to serve the Lord and I have been able to focus on my relationship with the Lord more through this time. —Pamela

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

A few months ago a friend of mine, Linda Evans Shepherd, announced to our group of Christian women writers that she was starting a blog specifically to reach out to those who were considering suicide. I have to say that anything Linda touches is done well and with complete passion and heart behind it. Her most recent web site, Finding God Daily, has a wonderful collection of articles about all the places we can find God!

But would I be able to make a commitment to write an article or two a month about suicide? What do I know that may encourage someone else? And I just have a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology, while many of the writers are professional counselors.

But then I got an email from someone at Rest Ministries pouring her heart out. . . about taking her life. And all those statistics about chronic pain or physical illness being the cause of about 70 percent of suicides kept popping up in my mind in the next few days (Source: Mackenzie TB, Popkin MK: “Suicide in the medical patient.” Intl J Psych in Med 17:3-22, 1987).

So I prayed about it. And God said, “Do it.”

I emailed Linda and volunteered and was accepted as a writer for this new amazing blog Thinking About Suicide. It just kicked off last week on Wednesday, March 21, 2012. Why a Wednesday? Linda explains in one of the blog posts How to Live Through Hump Day that Wednesday is the day when most suicides occur.

In just a little over a week there is a wonderful growing collection of blog posts by this team of writers. Recently, author Karen Boerger wrote about Help For Chronic Pain With Suicidal Thoughts.

Our hope is that through a collection of various articles, when people search the internet about “thinking about suicide” this web site will come up, and not only will one find hope for the moment, but also a Christ-based resource that will provide answers about where that real, enduring hope comes from.

Please make a note to yourself that this blog exists and if you, or someone you know, needs a resource to turn to through a difficult time, visit it for a pick-me-up. If you are seriously considering suicide, I urge you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) without delay.

Also, if there is something you are personally experiencing with hopelessness and would like me to consider addressing it in a future blog post over at Thinking About Suicide, please let me know.

My first article will appear on Wednesday, April 4, 2012. “Why Bother Living When I Am Facing a Serious Infection Without a Hand to Hold?”

If you are having a rough day, here are a few resources on our web site that discuss suicide– a tough but very real topic.

• When You Are Tempted to Speed Up The Trip to Heaven
• I Forgot: My Life is Not My Own, Christian Author Shares About Her Attempted Suicide
• Assisted Suicide Due to Pain of Illness and How it Fits With Our Belief in God

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

Have you had the experience of one doctor passing you off to another, and that one to another, and no one really wanting to “own” you as a patient? For a while I have felt I was the ball in a game of ping pong between my general practitioner and a specialist, each telling me to see the other. Currently, as new issues develop, I have become a “hot potato.” My question is, what do you do to get doctors to listen and stop passing the buck?

I am looking for suggestions beyond basics of talking to doctors. One thing I am finding helpful lately is to pray earnestly and specifically for the appointment and the agenda to discuss with that doctor. I am at least finding each appointment a little less frustrating, and maybe a little more helpful.

Marianne

Hi, Marianne. Yes, this can be very frustrating and I think most patients have felt this way at one time or another. My suggestions would be to try the following:

1. Call the local organizations for your illness and ask them if they have a list of recommended specialists. If they don’t you may tell them, “I know you cannot recommend anyone, but off the record, do you hear good things about a specific doctor who’s name you could pass along to me? Do you know of anyone I could ask?” Also, ask online friends in your area who have your same illness if they have some suggestions.
2. Ask others in the medical field who they would recommend, such as any surgeons you see, physical therapists, counselors, nutritionists, etc.
3. Consider if gender makes a difference to you. For over 10 years, both my specialist and general doctor were women. I would gladly see a male physician, and have, but overall, I need someone who will listen well, multi-task, and not seem overwhelmed by side effects.
4. For a general practitioner, ask anyone you respect who has had any kind of medical condition if she or he would mind sharing the name of their physician. Since my diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis, I’ve always had doctors of internal medicine as my general practitioners. You may also want to ask around your church and see if there is anyone in the medical profession who may be able to give you the name of a recommended physician.
5. When you call for your first appointment, explain that you would like at least 30 minutes to explain your condition and ask some questions about how the doctor prefers to work with patients who have a chronic condition, when a specialist is also involved. There are doctor who love challenging patients and thrive on figuring out odd symptoms; other doctors do not or do not have the time. Look for doctors who enjoy the challenge.
6. If the doctor you are interested in seeing has a web site, read as much as you can about him in advance. Also, Google his name and look on review sites such as Yelp.
7. Ask your new doctor where they want to fall in your hierarchy of your medical team. For instance, when I got a new rheumatologist last year, I asked him if he wanted me to come to him with symptoms that were obvious side effects of the medications (like basic infections, coughs, yeast infections, etc.) and he said yes.
8. Do your best as a patient to help the doctors communicate. When you have lab tests ordered by one doctor, have them fax results to other doctors. If you have an MRI or eye exam, etc. what other doctors on your medical team would find this information helpful?
9. Ask yourself if you want to try alternative treatments or may wish to in the future. It’s best to not hide this from your specialist, so if it’s important to you, you need a doctor who will support your endeavors to treat yourself for certain things.
10. If you have either a general practitioner you like or a specialist ask them for a referral to the other kind of doctor. Who do they like to work with? This can be very helpful if the doctors already have established a working relationship and if you have a specific illness, doctors have a preference many times for other specialists who understand your disease. For example, my rheumatologist likes to send me to an eye specialist who understands rheumatoid arthritis and how it affects the eyes.
11. Ask each doctor some specific questions and then go over the answers with the other one so there is clear communication. Such as “If I get a cold or sore throat, etc. which doctor should I see? If I have side effects that need treatment, should I go to the doctor who prescribed the medication or …?” If I have an emergency with ____ who should I contact at 3 AM? If I have a _____ issue, would you prefer I go to the ER or Urgent Care? What information should I have with me when I go? Can the doctors there contact you?
12. When one doctor prescribes you medication, especially that which are pain killers, let the other doctor know so it never appears you are hoarding medications.
13. Be a “good patient.” There will be times when you must challenge a doctor’s opinion, but if you really like the doctor and wish to keep him or her, reasonably consider the doctor’s requests. If you frequently cancel appointments, arrive late, delay getting your lab tests done, etc. the doctor will be much less likely to help you or keep you as a patient.
14. Do your best to write down a list of things you wish to speak to the doctor about in order of priority. Tell the doctor, “I have 4 questions today, so would it be okay, if I tell you what they are and then if we run out of time, you could call me back on the last one?”
15. Communicate your needs. For example, if you often bring a caregiver, friend, or spouse with you, is the doctor comfortable with this?
16. Consider if this doctor is best for your needs now. I have found that I need a different rheumatologist for my thirties than I did in my twenties, and when I hit my forties it was also time to start looking around.
17. You mentioned prayer. Yes! Finding, visiting, and keeping a doctor can all be very stressful. Ask friends to pray for your to be led to the right team of medical specialists to meet your needs. Remember to send a thank you card to your doctors now and then or bring in a goodie unexpectedly. Before your appointment, pray for a sense of calmness, and yet also discernment and wisdom to know when to speak up.

I have had a good medical team for some time now, but I’ve also had my share of doctors who have not particularly liked me. At wound care, I had one doctor who casually said they would “just take a little piece of bone out of my ankle and. . . ”

At this point, I said, “With all due respect, I understand you are doing your job. But with rheumatoid arthritis that could disable my ankle for good. Dr. Y is my rheumatologist, and I won’t be having any procedures done until you run them past her, she approves them, and I have an opportunity to talk with her.” He was not happy with me and did not like me questioning his authority. He especially didn’t like having to admit to me a few days later later that he’d talk to my rhematologist and I would not be having the procedure.

On the flip side, I also left my son’s pediatrician and got a recommendation from a children’s therapist for another pediatrician. In less than 30 minutes, the new pediatrician had us appointments at Children’s Hospital, a psychiatrist (who was not accepting new patients), a and many more specialists who helped us solve a difficult case involving food therapy. We felt so relieved.

Last year my rheumatologist of ten+ years was rather rude and I left the office in tears–a rare event. I have found that many good doctors still have a “season” of being motivated to treat you. For me this seems to be 8-10 years. And despite a good relationship, I do expect to be treated with respect. I found a new rheumatologist and am pleased with what he has been able to do for me, the medications he is willing to try, and his experience in using both Western medicine as well as herbs, etc. when possible.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

One of my all-time favorite books is The Art of Helping: What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting by Lauren Littauer Briggs. In fact, I am very honored to have a section in it for those with chronic illness. But the whole book is helpful for those of us who, well, care. And it is one of the few books I believe should be on the desk of every pastor and church secretary! So much so that when it was first published we offered it as part of our HopeKeepers Start Up Kit! And I wrote a review for the book on Amazon in 2006 (see it under Lisa Copen “RestMinistries”)

I am so excited to see that the author, Lauren, is doing a blog tour to share about this book again, as it it never out of date! The Art of Helping—What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting addresses 30 of the most common heartaches people face and takes away your fear of involvement by helping you understand what people are feeling and going through. From over 100 interviews and her own life experiences, Author Lauren Briggs shares proven advice and offers practical help with a list of what to say— and do. There is even a section on how to comfort people who have suffered the loss of a pet.

Lauren gave us a few minutes of her time to explain why she believes this book is one that is practical in the hands of many.

Why should I read The Art of Helping?

Do you know someone who is facing a crisis and wondered what you could do to help? Have you ever faced a difficult time and wished your family and friends knew what you were going through and knew how to help you?

I found that during my darkest hours, no one knew how much I was hurting, what I was going through or how they might help.

This is a book you’ll want to read before you need it—so that you will have ideas of what you can do and how you can respond—when you first hear the news. We want to help our family and friends through the hard times, but the right words or actions just don’t come to mind. The Art of Helping will give you the tools and enable you to turn thoughts into action.

If I was to ask you, “How will The Art of Helping change me?” what would you say?

The Art of Helping is your go to book when life gets tough. It is a social Bible filled with concrete, tangible action items to empower you to make a difference at times when we would otherwise feel helpless. When people get this book in their hands, they always say, “How I wish I had this book when my friend needed help.”

Yes, I think all of us who are chronically ill have often wished that people had a better idea of how to reach out to us. Sometimes when we live with illness, we think of everything in terms of that as our definition of suffering. But there are so many kinds of suffering in life! I wonder if you could share with us some of the basic Do’s and Don’ts that could be helpful for anyone–not just those with a chronic condition?

Sure! Here are some of my best tips!

DON’T wait before you make contact.
DO Respond as soon as you hear the news.

DON’T SAY “If there’s anything you need, give me a call.”
DO Offer a specific thing you can do.

DON’T put pressure on yourself to do something you don’t like to do.
DO use your gifts and talents to help.

DON’T minimize what they are going through.
DO offer caring statements of acknowledgement.

DON’T ASK “When will you be your old self again? or Aren’t you over it yet?”
DO understand that once their life is touched by tragedy, they will never be their “old self” again. They will eventually reach a “new normal” but life will never be the same.

Wonderful! Yes, I think those apply to anyone going through a difficult time. You have so many specific examples in the book. That is one of my favorite parts because it really personalizes it. Can you share with us some of your favorite creative suggestions in The Art of Helping?

Yes, here are some of my favorites!

• A mother of two young children picked up a hurting family’s laundry on Mondays, took it home and returned it all laundered and folded on Thursdays.
• A man volunteered to come mow the lawn once a week and do some simple “honey do” chores.
• My sons brought their game boy to the hospital for a friend going through chemo therapy. Every few days they would bring a different game to swap.

Those all sound wonderful. I know sometimes it’s the little things that make a huge difference for those of us who are hurting–both physically or emotionally. I am so glad to see that after a few years this book is still reaching so many people. It truly it timeless, Lauren. Can you tell our readers how they can I learn more about The Art of Helping?

The Art of Helping is reshaping the way people reach out to others. You can find more information at my website: www.laurenbriggs.com. You can also follow me on Facebook as and on Twitter as @Laurenbrgs. The Art of Helping is available both as an ebook and hard copy through Amazon.com. See the Kindle version here. If you would like an autographed copy of The Art of Helping, email me.

Thank you, Lauren! Readers! Lauren has graciously donated a copy of her book to one of you! Please take a moment to share a way that either (1) you encouraged someone who was hurting; (2) someone encouraged you when you were hurting; (3) a creative way you would like to encourage someone who is hurting.

We will pick the one that is most CREATIVE. . . so think hard! Post your comment below in the comments section and if you are chosen we will email you to get your postal address and Lauren will send the book right out!

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is the author of Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend, another great book to add to your “encouragement book shelf!” She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.

Lisa Copen

The facts are frightening. According to American Medical news 51 people died under Washington’s assisted-suicide law in 2010, the 1st full year of this law. They were provided with a lethal medication prescribed by a physician.

As one who lives with a chronic illness and daily chronic pain, I understand how difficult it can be to get up and face each day when every part of your body aches and no one seems to have any answers.

I also am wise enough to know that I have not experienced the kind of darkness that many have. . . yet. I have no doubt that just as many Christians go through “a dark night of the soul” as the darkest depression is described, those with illness surely have some days when they awake and wonder if it is really worth living another day and just enduring and surviving.

Here are more scary statistics

• Sixty-eight physicians wrote life-ending prescriptions for 87 patients, 51 of whom took the medication and died.
• As of February 9th, 2011, when the report was published, 15 people died of their illnesses before taking the lethal medication, and another 15 patients were still alive. For the remaining six deaths, it is unclear whether the patients ingested the medication prescribed under the law, the report said.

Let us not forget God’s faithfulness

There is always a risk of speaking of these statistics and wondering, “Will this put the idea into someone’s head to try this?” I pray that you will never consider such a thing. But if you do, seek help and hope, not quick “solutions” to end your life.

There are many times in scriptures when we are given examples of some of God’s servants who felt overwhelmed, tested, and even wished for their own death (such as 1 Kings 19:4; John 4:8). But these individuals did not take matters into their own hands and end their lives, but rather, God always rescued them. No matter how desperate things may seem, we must remember that God is faithful and when we cry out to Him he will rescue us.

As people with chronic illness who know physical pain. . . and also the Lord, we must be aware that there are people who may not know Jesus, but who are taking their own lives to avoid living on this earth another day.

The physician-assisted suicide total represents a 42% increase. In Oregon (where the law has been in place since 1998 and the only other state with a law authorizing physician-assisted suicide), 65 patients died last year after taking life-ending medication prescribed by their doctors.

In all, 612 patients have died with physicians’ help under Oregon’s and Washington’s assisted-suicide laws.

Do you ever have nothing left to give?

Why are they choosing to end their lives?

Reports state that the vast majority of patients using the law were white, well-educated, insured, dying of cancer, receiving hospice care and most concerned about loss of autonomy, dignity and joy in living.

I remember when my grandfather was in the later stages of Alzheimer’s disease and my grandmother basically couldn’t see the need for him to still be here on earth. I looked her firmly in the eye and said something to the effect of, “Grandma, he may not even know what is going on, but he is joyful. Every day, every single person that comes into his room has their day brightened by his joy. They love him. You don’t know what those people may have been going through. A nurse could have been beaten by her spouse last night; an attendant may be losing his own father to this disease but he lives across the country and can’t be with him. Grandpa may be the only person in their life who makes them smile. You don’t know how God is still using him.”

I am not certain she understood. But even as I said the words, I realized just how true they were.

What does the Christian community think of these suicide-assisted laws?

Robert D. Orr, MD, CM, Professor of Medical Ethics and Christian Medical Dental Association (CMDA) Board of Trustees says,

“When a legislative sea-change such as state sanctioned physician-assisted suicide is introduced in a jurisdiction, citizens and physicians take early cautious steps into new and scary territory. As they realize that intentionally causing death does not result in public condemnation, and that oversight is minimal, they relax; they become less apprehensive and less cautious. And the (minimal) data that is made available to the public reflects this slide into societal acceptance.”

The number of individuals in Oregon who took their own lives with help from physicians more than tripled from 1999 to 2009. With a 70% larger population base, Washington’s anticipated data swell should cause major concerns. But it probably won’t. As Francis Schaeffer warned about public sentiment in the post-Christian era, ‘The unthinkable becomes thinkable.’

Orr asks, “What should be the response of those who recognize the image of God in each person? We should be advocating for and involved in providing excellent palliative care, and we should voice our opposition to extension of physician-assisted suicide into other states.”

I say, “Yes! We should voice our opposition to extension of physician-assisted suicide into other states.” I may not be standing down on the courthouse steps today, but I am asking you to join me in being aware of just how much you impact the lives of those around you.

You do make a difference. God is not done with you yet

There will be some dark days. Yes, the Lord says in this lifetime we will see trouble. But we, the chronically ill who are believers in Jesus Christ, are also examples of people who may not be “successful” in the eyes of our secular, materialistic world, but we are worthy in His sight–and that is all that matters. Though we may not even be able to leave our bed or our home, we are connected, we are encouraging others, we are witnesses that even when we are stuck in a hospital bed, we are still a representative of our Lord.

Someone asked me last week if thinking about suicide from time to time was a normal part of living with chronic illness. She said she would never even consider it, but her doctor thought she was very weird for even thinking of it. We should not hide from words like suicide and pretend that a “real Christian” would never have these thoughts.

Instead, we must face that, yes, there are many times we will dream of heaven, we may want to stop the pain, we begin to wonder if our family’s lives would be easier without us. But God is not finished with you yet. Only He should be in control of your last breath.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she encourages you to never stop seeking God, even when you do not see His presence or hear His voice. He promises He will never leave you or forsake you and she believes that to be true, regardless of how our emotions may tell us otherwise sometimes.

Note: An article on Physician-Assisted Suicide from Dr. Robert Orr will be published in the 2011 Summer edition of Today’s Christian Doctor with a special tear-out section on Theory vs. Practice.

CMDA also shares about this book:
Basic Questions on Suicide & Euthanasia
Many in our society champion assisted suicide and euthanasia as answers to intractable physical and emotional problems. There are alternatives to this contemporary “culture of death,” however, that uphold the sanctity of human life and seek to meet the problems of fear, pain, and despair with compassion and dignity. Questions such as “How do active and passive euthanasia differ?”; “Do I have a ‘right to die’?”‘ “Is suicide the unpardonable sin?”; “Why hasn’t Dr. Kovorkian been convicted of a crime?” and many more are answered in this informative piece.
Paperback. 80 pages. Price: $4.00

I recently happened upon a delightful surprise. While planning for a family vacation, I learned of an interesting tourist attraction: The Museum of disABILITY History in Buffalo, New York.

“The museum is the result of the desire of Dr. James M. Boles,” said 51-year-old Doug Platt, museum curator, in a telephone interview. “Boles was teaching an introduction to developmental disabilities course at University of Buffalo and wanted to direct his students to a website for a comprehensive look at how people with disabilities have been treated throughout the ages. There wasn’t one. That’s how the museum was born, in 1998.”

Boles also was president/CEO of People Inc., a New York nonprofit providing employment, residential, recreation, community outreach, and healthcare programs for people with disabilities. The Museum of disABILITY became a People Inc. project.

Said Platt, “I’m museum curator and my job is the safekeeping, arrangement, and description of artifacts I have helped collect. We used items we collected to create displays and exhibits that resulted in the way our gallery and website appear now.”

The museum has a website and a brick-and-mortar location in Buffalo. Visitors to the latter include elementary and high school groups, college social work and physical therapy students, and University of Buffalo medical students learning about disability history.

“We want to give people an idea of the role people with disabilities have always played in history,” said Platt, also a 26-year People Inc. employee. The museum’s online version has “wings” dedicated to people with disabilities and events in media, medicine, society, education, and advocacy. One recent exhibit was called Eugenics in America: Perfecting the Population. In part, it explained the history of the 1927 Buck vs. Bell Supreme Court ruling allowing forced sterilization of “unfit” Americans well into the 1960s.

“We have an Invacar, too” said Platt, referring to the three-wheeled vehicle manufactured for disabled British veterans from 1948-77. The museum also features well-known Americans such as President Roosevelt, Temple Grandin, John Elder Robison, and Stevie Wonder.

Platt said, “The museum wants to include a wide range of disabilities. People with disabilities have been marginalized and part of our vision is to create a society accepting of people with disabilities. By our presenting to the public the role people with disabilities have played, perhaps that will better help society understand and accept them.”

Daniel J. Vance writes a weekly newspaper column called “Disabilities,” and should soon be graduating from Minnesota State with a master’s in mental health counseling and becoming a licensed professional counselor. His goal is to combine this new career with being a freelance writer. See his Daniel Vance website or his Facebook Page.

A recent study has proven what we-as patients-want, and it won’t come as any surprise: more communication! 90% of patients said they want their doctors to listen to them; only 25% wanted a prescription, and 60% wanted an examination (Southampton University in UK). Previous research from the University of Connecticut has shown that the effectiveness of drugs depends largely on the relationship and amount of time doctors spend with the patient. The longer the consultation, the more effective the medications.

We asked some of you what you want and the answers may leave you nodding in agreement more than surprise.

• That he have more time to spend with me to thoroughly answer my questions. When he’s rushed I feel pressured and afraid to ask questions or I forget. -Name withheld
• For him to listen to me, not just hear me. I’ve recently had to be hospitalized, because he wasn’t listening to what I was telling him. I guess he thought I was just an old man with chronic aches and pains, but I nearly died. -Na’Ho’Ka, NM
• I would send him back to medical school to learn more about chronic pain and how to treat it. There are a lot of doctors out there that are not getting adequate training in pain-management.
  -Marsha, WA
• For her to desire to learn about what I have and treat it as a whole, not individual symptoms.
  -Leonie, Australia
• That he would understand that for me, doing procedures just to be doing something, is not management of pain. -Name withheld
• I feel like one of a herd and he is just trying to get us all through the line. He overbooks and is too busy to spend time explaining what is causing my chronic back pain. -Shirley, AK
• That they believe chemical sensitivities exist, and that’s it not all in my head. I have a somewhat unique perspective as I am in med school myself to become a doctor.
  -Maxine, WA
• For him to write down things as I say them. Some times he doesn’t write anything down and it’s frustrating. -Joni, CA
• Her accessibility. First I have to talk to a receptionist who decides if I can talk to a nurse; then the nurse asks various questions to decide if the doctor should be notified. She promises to “leave the doctor a note and ask for answers.” Nine times out ten I do not actually hear from the doctor. -Christal, MI
• His work schedule. He works too hard and long and then when he takes a vacation it is not long enough for him to revive himself. -Bonnie
• For him to be more willing to try treatments that I want to try rather than just what is tried and true.
  -Debra, PA
• The amount of time he has with patients. Many doctors schedule patients every fifteen minutes and that is rarely enough time, especially for those with chronic illnesses. -Nici, TX
  I would change him into a man who listens most willingly with his ears, his mind, his heart, his understanding. Most importantly, he would listen to the Creator of us all who has all the answers. -Judith Rose
• For him to trade places with me for one week. Then I believe I would see a difference in his compassion and understanding of someone who lives with constant pain. The off-handed remarks about “now, now, it can’t be all that bad” or “there are others worse off than you” may just have a second thought. His compassion may be more sincere and his willingness to try another approach may be more open. -Karen, Ontario, Canada
• That she would see her patients on time and not make them wait anywhere from two to four hours.-Sheila, AR
• His extremely rude, non-empathetic staff. He’s been my surgeon for seven years and I have heard all the other “horror” stories from patients sitting in the waiting room too. -Patty,
• That he understand I am losing weight as quickly as I can. After losing 100 pounds he is still at me to lose more. -Joann, MA

What do you want from your doctor or medical team? Share in the comments below!

American Association of Pastoral Counselors AAPC is evolving into a more diverse professional organization serving within an increasingly complex world. Our members now represent a broader spectrum of theological and spiritual traditions and work among a wide variety of health care providers and settings.

American College of Physicians Home Care Guide for Advanced Cancer An excellent resource for chaplaincy caregiving for those undergoing cancer treatments, through all the processes from grieving, to symptoms of treatments, respite, death, etc. Great resources for the chaplain to utilize to be there for the entire family.

COMISS Network: The Network on Ministry in Specialized Settings A network of professional organizations, institutions, and faith communities that promotes and supports collaboration among its membership and is the collective voice of advocacy to a variety of publics. Among these ministries are chaplaincies in healthcare facilities, correctional institutions, mental health settings, the armed forces, business settings, industrial settings, pastoral counseling, clinical pastoral education, and the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Ten Four Ministries Providing Practical and Spiritual Support to the Law Enforcement Community founded by Tony Miano who has served as a volunteer chaplain for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department since 2000.

The Canadian Association for Pastoral Practice and Education A national multifaith organization which is committed to the professional education, certification and support of people involved in pastoral care and pastoral counselling.

College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy (CPSP) The College of Pastoral Supervision & Psychotherapy is a theologically based covenant community, dedicated to “Recovery of Soul.”

Patient Resource Book for Hospital or Home The purpose of Healing Flood books is to provide tools for the world of Chaplains, Mental Health Professionals, Healthcare Professionals, and the general public that will assist them in bringing healing, comfort and hope to those in need. The tools we publish and market are intended to assist, empower, inspire and equip these “angels of mercy” in their ministries.

Chaplaincy Publications

Chap Notes Daily notes of encouragement, humor and inspiration for chaplains. The founder welcomes you to print them out and post them on bulletin boards to encourage those who care-give for the sick or dying. From the executive chaplain of Tampa International Airport. Excellent!

A New Heart A quarterly USA HCF Publication to “Encourage Christians in Healthcare”. A New Heart is a gold-mine of information. It features candid, real-life stories; guidelines and opportunities to give spiritual care; details on all Coming Events and Medical Missions.

The Pastoral Report The CPSP Pastoral Report on the Web (PR) is a publication of the College of Pastoral Supervision & Psychotherapy. The PR will be a lively and interesting place to visit and to engage those within the CPSP community as well as those who visit us from afar.

Journal of Pastoral Care An award-winning professional publication offering articles and book reviews on pastoral care, pastoral counseling, clinical pastoral education, and ministry in specialized settings.Approximately 7,500 pastoral caregivers and subscribers receive Journal of Pastoral Care .

Corporate Chaplains of America (CCA) The organization employs full time, long term, career chaplains who combine workplace experience with professional chaplaincy training. In addition to holding seminary level or higher degrees, all chaplains will pursue certification through 154 hours of continuing education within the first year of tenure.

Federation of Fire Chaplains The purpose of this organization is to bring together individuals and groups who are interested in providing effective chaplaincies for fire service organizations. Its members exchange and share ideas and concerns that influence the quality of life of all members of the fire service and their families.

International Conference of Police Chaplains An interfaith organization of chaplains who serve law enforcement agencies. Pastoral care and counseling is provided to law enforcement officers, civilian employees, their families and/or assistance to crime victims. ICPC publishes a newsletter and holds training seminars.

His Victory Inc Truckers’ Chaplain Service “Our mission is to aid, comfort and support truckers, their families and associates in managing occupational stress, resolving personal problems and recovering from traumatic experiences through practical application of spiritual principles.”

Race Track Chaplaincy of America RTCA sanctions and oversees 60 chaplains who serve at 100 tracks and training/breeding centers throughout North America and around the world. Their mission is to provide, with excellence, for the spiritual, emotional, physical and social/educational needs of horse racing’s vast workforce.

A Christian Ministry in the National Parks Recognized by more than 40 Christian denominations, A Christian Ministry in the National Parks (ACMNP) is an educational ministry experience for lay people. We bring Christ’s message to people often isolated from immediate contact with local churches — millions of visitors who come to enjoy God’s great natural wonders.

National Institute of Business and Industrial Chaplains NIBIC helps establish academic and professional criteria for the practice of this specialized ministry. These standards help ensure skilled, effective ministers. NIBIC’s goal is for every person providing pastoral care, counseling, and consultation in workplace settings to meet these professional standards.

Marketplace Ministries, Inc The world’s original and leading chaplain provider to businesses is a proactive and personalized Employee Care provider. Client companies are assigned a team of male, female, ethnically diverse chaplains who visit the work site regularly, and are available for crisis care, any needed help and confidential discussions.

The Institute of Worklife MinistryThe workplace chaplaincy training division of the Worklife Institute, providing education, mentoring and outreach services for pastoral care professionals. The Worklife Institute is a leading center for resources providing worklife support with a variety of programs for individuals and companies seeking to address with integrity the challenges of today’s business environment.

American Correctional Chaplains Association Correctional chaplains provide pastoral care to those who are disconnected from the general community by certain circumstances – in this case to those who are imprisoned, as well as to correctional facility staff and their families when requested. Where permitted, we also minister to the families of prisoners.

Coalition of Prison Evangelists

Military Chaplaincy Organizations

Coast Guard Chaplaincy

USA Army Chaplaincy U.S. Army Chaplains serve both God and country by bringing their unique gifts with which they are endowed by God, to the Soldiers of our nation in the broad, challenging, diverse, and ever changing environment of the Army.

USA Air Force Chaplain Services Air Force people live and work around the world serving our country. Chaplains serve side-by-side with them, leading worship services and observances, providing pastoral care, and advising leadership as they magnify the Air Force Chaplain Service vision of Glorifying God, Honoring Airmen, and Serving All.

USA Navy Chaplaincy Corps Tools and resources for chaplains and how to become a chaplain are provided here.

United States Corps of Chaplains (USCOC) A volunteer, non-sectarian Christian, charitable, non-profit 501(c)3 public service organization, active in community ministry to everyone, but with special emphasis on aid to active duty military members, veterans, and their family members.

Military Chaplains Association Headquartered in metropolitan Washington, D.C., they serve as the professional support organization for military chaplaincy in the U.S. “The voice of chaplaincy – articulating our Congressional mandate with a professional, prophetic, and pastoral voice.”

National Conference on Ministry to the Armed Forces (NCMAF) Our members, as endorsers for particular bodies, are the point of contact between the armed forces and over 220 religious denominations and faith groups. Our common goals are to recruit, endorse and provide oversight for clergypersons who desire to serve as chaplains in any one of the branches of our armed forces.

Veterans Affairs Chaplain Service The mission is to empower Department of Veterans Affairs Chaplains in the achievement of excellence in meeting the spiritual healthcare needs of Veterans.

Article: What it’s like to be a military chaplain

Denominational Chaplaincy Resources

The Assemblies of God Chaplaincy Ministries The mission of AG Chaplaincy is to reach people in specialized settings through extraordinary ministries that are biblically based, compassionate, and transforming.

The National Association of Catholic Chaplains (NACC) This a professional association for certified chaplains and clinical pastoral educators who participate in the healing mission of Jesus Christ. We provide standards, certification, education, advocacy and professional development for our members in service to the Church and society.

National Association of Evangelicals Commission on Chaplains

National Association of Jewish Chaplains (NAJC) A professional organization for Rabbis, Cantors, and other Jewish professionals functioning as Jewish Chaplains in hospitals, nursing homes and geriatric centers, hospice, psychiatric facilities, correctional centers, and the military.

Hospital Chaplaincy Organizations

Christian Hospital Fellowship International In the USA the Hospital Christian Fellowship began in 1972 in California by Aubrey Beauchamp, a nurse at San Clemente Hospital. HCF-USA now reaches caregivers in all states. An excellent resource that teaches healthcare professionals, caregivers and volunteers how to meet the spiritual needs of their patients and fellow workers through evangelism, prayer and discipleship.

Hospital Chaplain.com This web site with has some great resource links, some are broken however.

Hospital Chaplains’ Ministry of America Formerly the Hospital Chaplains’ Ministry of America, this organization was founded in 1939. The HCMA is a nonsectarian, non-profit faith mission organization that recruits, trains, certifies, places, and oversees Chaplains in healthcare facilities and hospice programs throughout the world.

Hospital Chaplaincy Gateway A way into the net for hospital chaplains.

Whether you are a fireman chaplain, a military chaplain, or a rodeo chaplain, there is a profession out there for you and a professional association to support you in your work.

What is a chaplain?

Webster’s dictionary defines a chaplain as “a member of the clergy officially attached to a special group.”

Regardless of if you’re searching for information on how to become a chaplain or more resources like a basic session on ethics in healthcare for chaplains, we hope you can find it here through our resources and links.

Chaplain Associations

Association of Professional Chaplains An interfaith professional pastoral care association of providers of pastoral care endorsed by faith groups to serve persons in physical, spiritual, or mental need in diverse settings throughout the world.

Chaplain Fellowship Ministries International A faith based Christ centered ministry of presence that offers the every day hard working man or woman an opportunity to serve in the position of a Chaplain through specific chaplaincy programs, ecclesiastical endorsements and certifications in their chosen field of ministry, thereby, allowing any one who feels called of God to minister at some level as a Chaplain.

United Association of Christian Chaplains and Counselors Association A ministry that has been focused on empowering ministers and ministries for the work of Christ for over 30 years, fulfilling their calling with Certification in ministry.

The International Association of Christian Chaplains The IACC sees pastoral care as a ministry of compassion anchored in the grace and love of God. Pastoral care takes place in many different ways including visiting the sick, attending to the dying.

National Association of Catholic Chaplians The National Association of Catholic Chaplains advocates for the profession of spiritual care and educates, certifies, and supports chaplains, clinical pastoral educators, and all members who continue the healing ministry of Jesus in the name of the Church.

National Chaplain Association Dedicated to practical Christianity, where the Bible is the main textbook of life and ministry. We firmly believe that Jesus is the ultimate and only complete solution to the problems of life. To this end, the NCA has Chaplains that are active in every area of ministry imaginable.

Related articles

• Chaplains try a new path to deal with PTSD (sfgate.com)

The loss of a daughter who is simply taking a photo of a blimp. . . giving birth to a child you know will live less than ninety minutes. . .Who would believe these stories could give one hope? Norris Burkes, author of No Small Miracles: Heartwarming, Humorous, and Hopefilled Stories from a Pediatric Chaplain, however, does just that. Through his eyes as a chaplain husband, and father we are given an inside look at the daily joy a someone in his profession can find even in the darkness of the most devastating circumstances.

Burkes has experience as a chaplain who has worked in pediatric chaplaincy as well as a military chaplian. Filled with just the right amount of honest vulnerabilities and even humor, this book reminds us about what is truly important.

As one who lives with chronic illness and ministers to thousands who spend countless hours in the hospital, I’ll admit that reading more stories about people who suffer is not how I prefer to spend my free time.

This book, however, isn’t about the illnesses or the pain, but the miracles behind them–the miracles that sometimes come in forms of physical healings, but more frequently as miracles with less glitz: spiritual healings, the healing of relationships, sometimes the gift of peace God gives us as we surrender everything over to Him.

Pain creates many questions:

• Why did this have to happen?
• Does God really care?
• Why do I have to suffer?
• What’s the purpose behind all of this pain?

Burkes addresses all of these with both scriptural authority, but real, down-to-earth words from a “regular guy.” I especially appreciated his challenge and clarification of the statement we’ve all heard during difficult times in our life: “God says He won’t give me more than I can handle.”

Despite my ministry, Rest Ministries and HopeKeepers, which teaches people how to comfort the chronically ill, I find myself in awkward situations when words seem pointless and yet are expected by someone who is hurting and looking for encouragement.

I laughed out loud a few times at Burkes’ “human” responses to people who needed to talk to a “real person” and not necessarily a “professional chaplain.”

For example, on page 82 he describes a man who was a heart patient and a former military engineer. When he told Burkes, “I’m not sure I even believe in God,” Burkes responded, “That’s OK. I’m in customer service, not sales.”

Being a chaplain is a calling and it’s no secret that chaplains are put into situations on a daily basis where they have the opportunity to comfort and minister to someone in need. But Burkes emphasizes that this gift is not for chaplains alone, but rather all of us are given the chance to reach out to people who are hurting.

All of us can hold someone’s hand and say, “You can cry with me if you want to.” Burkes’ book, No Small Miracles, is not only a gift to chaplains and those in the medical helping profession, but each of us who undeniably will find ourselves sitting next to someone–a friend or stranger–who simply needs hope.

This book is a great reminder and guide in helping us find the right words (or no words at all) to point one in the direction of true hope, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Lisa Copen is the author of Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend.