Dominic Cook’s Unique Testimony Reaches Those Suffering From Depression

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By Debbi Farmer Eventually, we will all feel blue. We will have days, even weeks when we are sad. Many can rebound from these emotions--but many cannot. We face tragedies and struggles that can turn our world completely upside down. And sadly there are times also when physical changes in our body can cause clinical depression even when life appears to the world to be running smoothly. When you have depression, it interferes with daily life and causes pain for both you and those who care about you. Depression is a common but serious illness. Many people with a depressive illness never even seek treatment. Helping someone with depression can be a challenge. If someone in your life has depression, they may feel helpless and you … [Read more...]

Is There Such a Thing as Being Too Nice?

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By Leslie Vernick Do you ever find yourself saying "yes" when you want to (or should) say "no"? For example, several years back, a graduate student asked me if I thought she would make a good counselor. I knew her gifts weren't strongest in that area, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She left our conversation believing I thought she was capable. We all do it. We say "yes" when our honest response should be "no." But let's take a look at the cost of being too nice. We Hurt People It amazes me how unaware we are of how we injure people by being too nice. Isn't that why we're nice to begin with? We don't want to hurt people? When I wasn't completely honest with my intern, I unintentionally hurt her. She spent time, energy, and … [Read more...]

52 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend

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By Lisa Copen Excerpt from Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend Please do not reprint without permission "A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." ~Lois Wyse Ask, "What events in your life are changing and how are you coping with the changes?" Understand that she lives in a constant state of making decisions for which there is no guarantee that she is making the right choice. Put meals in disposable containers and attach a note saying "This doesn't need to be returned." Add stickers to envelopes for a cheerful touch. Arrange for your friend's kids to have a night with your children. Don't make a person into a … [Read more...]

Walls and Boundaries: Understanding Their Differences In Your Relationships

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By Cecil Murphey "I've learned that building walls isn't the same as setting boundaries." I heard those words last month from a woman in my seminar audience. I've thought about that statement almost every day. Both walls and boundaries are important. I need to be aware of their difference and appreciate their value. Have you built walls to protect yourself from more emotional pain? I'm learning to build walls to protect myself from people who demand my time and constantly ask me to do things for them. Walls provide safety. I need to close myself off from some individuals. Once they get inside the walls, it's difficult to push them out. Walls remind me of the old story of the Arab and his camel during a sandstorm. The camel … [Read more...]

What I’d Like to Tell My Pastor About Living with Illness

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Living with chronic illness is lonely. Everyone around us seems to be enjoying health, happiness, and the ability to at least pursue their dreams. But many of us feel lonely, scared, and disappointed. We are faced with so many insecurities and we are living with an illness that we have not been able to pray away, cry away, or confess away. So we turn to our church for guidance, for acceptance, for unconditional support during the most difficult time in our life. But churches are made up of people—all of us imperfect. And our church does not always give us what we need; in fact, sometimes, the people say things that hurt us even more. "Everything will work out fine. Just keep praying." "If you just came to Bible study I am sure … [Read more...]

Link Party! Submit or Read About ‘Parenting with a Chronic Illness’

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 To submit your own link, put the code to our "Link Party button" (opens in a new window) on your own site. Then click the little blue button below that says "add your link" to submit your link! … [Read more...]

4 Steps to Take to Get Rid of Resentment You May Hold Against Others

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By Leslie Vernick When someone hurts us, is foolish, or sins against us, the consequences of their behaviors often impact us more than the other person. Anger, bitterness and resentment can be the result. Even when someone hasn't intentionally inflicted harm, these negative emotions creep into our spirits and are hard to get rid of. Here are 4 things you can do if you find yourself stuck in resentment. 1. Ask yourself what purpose do these negative emotions serve? Is it payback? Is it an attitude of I get to be right? Or, is it that you haven't been able or willing to forgive Or, perhaps it is an indicator that you're angry and need to have a conversation with someone who has sinned against you in order to bring healing … [Read more...]

Cute Frame With Dry Erase Marker Can Encourage You (Or Your Child!)

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My son, 9, doesn't like compliments. He says, "yeah, yeah, whatever," and yet he still needs to know I do notice them. Lately, his attitude and actions have left my husband and I throwing up our arms in desperation wondering what to try next to get through to this growing strong-willed blessing. Here is one thing I am trying: positive reinforcement! I bought a little 4x6 frame at the thrift store and painted it aqua blue to match our coastal cottage bathroom. Then I found a clipart-style beach background and some sunglasses clipart that I added to the right bottom corner. I put the words, "YOU ARE A COOL KID" on it in a fun font at the top and printed it out and framed it with the glass. Did know dry erase markers write easily on … [Read more...]

SNAPPIN Ministries: A Faith-Based Special Needs Parent Network

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By Debbi Farmer What a blessing it is to discover a wonderful ministry online that has the potential of helping so many people. I was blessed recently in discovering yet another “hidden jewel,” Snappin' Ministries. It is a “Special Needs Parent Network” that is essentially a nationwide support network for parents of children with special needs. Their mission is to support and encourage those living with the daily challenge of parenting a special needs child, so that they may experience the genuine love and hope of Jesus in their everyday lives. As a parent who raised and home-schooled a child with special needs, I can tell you from personal experience that finding the support and resources you need in a Christian environment is a … [Read more...]

Hold My Hand, Mommy

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By Lisa Copen "Here, Mom, hold my hand and I will help you," my son says. We have just left his Tae Kwon Do studio and we're parked nearby in the disabled parking spot. When I stood up from the chair my knee went out. . . again. The eighteen years of rheumatoid arthritis have caused my knees to be filled with brittle pieces of bone that have broken off, calcium deposits, and calcified blood clots. As we walked out the door, I held the door frame, trying to get out of the way of the swarm of sweating students. A piece of something in my knee is stuck in a bad place and I can barely put weight on my leg. My leg will not unbend all the way. I was stricken with intense pain but trying to not show it, as I didn't want his friends to … [Read more...]

Am I a Hypochondriac If…

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By Lisa Copen We laugh as people say, "I think I may be a hypochondriac!" but is it really a funny matter? Not so much. Am I a hypochondriac if... I get up at 2:30 AM to google a symptom I am experiencing and I start imagining all the things it could be? It is unlikely. In today's age of having immediate information at our fingertips, it is much easier to just get out of bed and start searching than to wait until morning when the doctor's office is open and then we must decide to call him or not. In the days of our parents raising their children, rather than looking for search engine results in the middle of the night, they sat at the kitchen table with the Dr. Spock book attempting to figure out the cause of certain symptoms and if … [Read more...]

Q/A: How Do I Get Doctors To Listen and Stop Passing Me To Another Doctor?

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Have you had the experience of one doctor passing you off to another, and that one to another, and no one really wanting to "own" you as a patient? For a while I have felt I was the ball in a game of ping pong between my general practitioner and a specialist, each telling me to see the other. Currently, as new issues develop, I have become a "hot potato." My question is, what do you do to get doctors to listen and stop passing the buck? I am looking for suggestions beyond basics of talking to doctors. One thing I am finding helpful lately is to pray earnestly and specifically for the appointment and the agenda to discuss with that doctor. I am at least finding each appointment a little less frustrating, and maybe a little more … [Read more...]

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