Parenting is exhausting. What do you do when you have extreme fatigue and illness dragging at you?  It is easy to tell yourself, “just one more thing” or “I’ll figure a way to make it happen.”  Then you have the pressures from our loved ones. A child not understanding why mommy can’t come out to play.  A husband who just came home from work and doesn’t understand why dinner isn’t done.

Are we failing in some way? In many ways? I sometimes think that.  I always think “I should….”  or “I could..”, “If I was super mom I would”  I call it the ‘oulds. Those things that didn’t get done that leave you feeling guilty.   Are we super women? No,  sadly we are not and despite what the TV would have you believe neither is the next door neighbor.  So revel in your lack of a cape. Let go of the guilt. The Lord has no intention of you sitting  around crying for one of the ‘oulds!

So you have fatigue problems. I do too, and it can destroy a day. While sick this past winter I was able to get from my bed to the couch. That was it.  I slept for the day. Not well, with that type of fatigue sleep no matter how much you sleep it is never enough.  I was only able to rely on  my hubby to take over the kids. When I had to tell a child that I was too tired I always hugged them and asked them to pray for me. I told them the truth, that I wanted to get up but mommy’s body was too tired.

Children can better wrap their mind around a problem if you give them a solution. I told them to pray. My children love God and believe that the Lord will heal me. That was something they could trust in.  By hugging them and letting them know that I wasn’t happy too. The situation became mommy is not sleep because she wants to but because she is sick.

Be open with your husband and  tell him how you are feeling. Don’t expect his ESP to pick up on your slumped shoulder or cough to let him know. My hubby always tells me to talk to him and try to be precise. Like are your legs jittery? For him I believe it is because he is a fixer. Present a problem and he works out a solution. Most men are that problem oriented.

Even if you are left without the energy to help with the house or other normal “wife ” duties. Try to uphold your Biblical wife duties. That is to support your husband. Be of a mild, joyful manner so that he is uplifted by your very presence.  Together a wife and husband are incredibly strong even when one is sick. Think why else would Satan be trying so desperately to destroy that which God has put together. He knows that two in Christ are ten times stronger and will grow stronger as time passes.

Chronic fatigue is a limitation but it is not an end to a quality family life.  Take time to enjoy your children. Let them know how much you can do in advance, such as mommy can play cards with you but I can’t go to the park. Talk to your husband be clear and loving. Trust that he will protect and help you through you troubled times. Uphold him so that he knows you will support and encourage him at all times. Trust in the Lord.

Heather Laurie is a christian wife, and mother to 5 children and 2 angels. She suffered with an unknown illness most of her life recently finding out she had lupus and a genetic disorder. Her children also have that genetic disorder. The Lord has led Heather and her husband Chris through these experiences to create a ministry dedicated to serving those with special needs. You can find them at www.LaurieFamilyMinistries.org or www.SpecialNeedsHomeschooling.com

Laurie Family Ministries

By Manuel Cruz

It’s a true fact that if you send your kids out to school in the morning with a nutritional breakfast inside of them. They will have the energy that they need to get through the day as well as giving their brain the goodness that it needs to help with the process of learning.

Regardless of anything you may otherwise believe, all kids absolutely need breakfast. Without it, they stand the risk of drudging their way through a sluggish morning devoid of any nutrients and minerals that feed the body and mind with energy.

You don’t need to be super creative when planning breakfast for your children, but you should know that there are plenty of options and possibilities and shouldn’t lose sight of this fact. Let’s take a look at some of the things you may want to consider.

If you have waffles for breakfast, why not make extra sometimes? That way you could freeze some to use at a later date. This could come in handy if you are running late. Just pop a couple of them in the toaster and then add a topping of your choice.

The most important part about breakfast is making sure that you’re consuming foods that are good for the body. Don’t neglect this small point, as the energy the right foods give will be a great contributor to a great day.

A couple of slices of toast in the morning are a good alternative, topped off with a bit of jam, a glass of fruit juice and away you go. Or if you prefer the cereal in the morning, why not try a slice of fruit with it?

A glass of milk contains plenty of vitamins and goodness that your kids need. If you are running late, why not give them a breakfast bar to keep them going.

It will seem a long time from breakfast to lunchtime, so it is vital that you make sure that you send your kids off to school with a nice full tummy.

I’ve lost my temper and let my friend have it. The problem is that though I was right in what I said, I was wrong in how I said it. Now my friend is hurt and I’m not sure our relation-ship can be restored. What should I do? Signed: Missing My Friend

Dear Missing My Friend,
Many a friendship’s been lost and many a church has been split over an offense. But what the enemy would use to destroy relationships, God can use to make them better.

Here are some steps you can take to restore your broken friendship:

1. You already know this, but never say what ‘you really think’ when you’re angry. Instead, when God presses on your heart to speak out, do so in truth, gentleness and love.
2. But when you do lose your temper, seek God’s forgiveness. Ask him to turn the situation with your friend into a miracle.
3. Never let your pride be a road block. You may well have been right in what you told your friend, but God may call you to humble yourself and to seek your friend’s forgiveness.
4. When apologizing, admit where you were wrong by saying something like, “I’m sorry I lost my temper. I love you and I would feel terrible if my bad behavior were to come between us. I’m so very sorry I hurt you. Please forgive me.”
5. Many times, just by humbling yourself, your friend is released to hear your heart instead of what she heard when you lost your temper; condemnation. Tell your friend, “I will stand by you regardless of what you decide to do.”
6. Stop fighting. Keep all your great arguments to yourself. If God opens the conversation to flow in a loving way, then go with the flow. But whatever you do, let go of trying to control the situation yourself.

Linda Evans Shepherd is the founder and president of Right to the Heart ministries and is a speaker and best-selling author. She is a humorist with a message and has empowered thousands across North America and Europe to release their burdens to God and walk more closely with him. Her ministries have seen over 350,000 people come to faith.

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Book for Kids with Parents with Chronic Illness

We’ve recently come across a great little booklet you can print out and staple together to have a tool that is interesting to your kiddo to explain multiple sclerosis. We know that the people who have MS are just a percentage of our visitors here, but it may provide some helpful ideas to even create your own booklet or talking points about your disease. This is also a great resource if you are a church member or resource center and looking for more tools for helping children cope with a parent with chronic illness. This one is called “Someone You Know Has MS: A Book For Families” and is 38 pages long.

This booklet for kids with parents with chronic illness was obviously put together with great purpose and skill. It has fun cartoon-like photos that kids are naturally drawn to, easy language, and good content. For example, kids as, “Why did this happen in my family?” It helps kids answer the questions other kids may have such as “Will your mom die?” or “Will you catch it?”

The booklet also explains some things that are hard for mom now and how she may use some assistive devices like a cane or wheelchair that may be a bit embarrassing for kids.

And it concludes with feelings, how to do fun things together as a family, and how the family may even get involved in advocacy or fundraising and awareness events.

Regardless of your illness this free booklet is worth downloading and printing out and just replace some of the information on multiple sclerosis to your own disease and read it with your child. It’s a great tool to start conversation and validate what your kids may be feeling and are not verbally talking with you about. This is also an excellent resource for teachers and if you are a parent with an illness, pass along a copy to his or her teacher so s/he gets some refresher tips on handling kids’ questions.

I have known Janet Lynn Mitchell since I met her about five years ago. We don’t see each other   often, but we recently had the chance to catch up at a women’s writers conference and I remembered just how amazing this woman’s story of medical malpractice is. But just as important is the story she chose to live –with joy–nd then tell us about in her book Taking a Stand . . .which Rest Ministries happens to carry in our bookstore! We are marking it down to a discounted price of $7.99 through 8/6/10.

Just last week a new study came out that revealed that “one-third of doctors who knew of peers who were incompetent or impaired, such as from alcohol or drug use, said they did not turn them in.” [ See Many Doctors Don't Report Incompetent Colleagues] The study, published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, covered a variety of medical specialties, including family practice, anesthesiology, internal medicine, cardiology, psychiatry, general surgery, and pediatrics. 17% said they had direct knowledge of a peer incompetent to practice in their hospital, group, or practice; and of this 17%, 67% 17% reported the colleague to relevant authorities.

While we can recognize that medical malpractice insurance prices and rates can be staggering for physicians, what would you do if you discovered your physician didn’t even have medical malpractice insurance? I asked Janet to share her story with us here at Rest Ministries and we will be featuring it over the next few days. I hope it encourages you. Regardless of medical errors or human mistakes, God is still in control and will lead us down the path where He wants us to make a difference for Him.

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Taking a Stand – Janet Lynn Mitchell Discovers Her Doctors Lied for 15 Years

“It’s time you know . . ..” Dr. Ulild sighed while leaning back against the wall in his examining room.

Know what? That I really did hurt myself when I fell?

Instantly, Dr. Ulild broke eye contact with me. “Janet, what has happened to you is water under the bridge . . .. I was there; I was in on your first surgery. Dr. Allgood cut your bone at the wrong angle, the wrong degree. I tried to stop him, to tell him not to cut there, but Allgood goes too fast. Janet, your ligaments were cut. The rest of your surgeries on your right knee were to try to fix this mistake.”

Horrified, my heart began to pound. I could hear each beat. I thought back to high school when Dr. Ulild had become one of my orthopedic surgeons. He had been my confidant as I faced ten surgeries, all performed within three and a half years of each other.

Noooooooo! He couldn’t have, I screamed through my thoughts. Dr. Ulild and Dr. Allgood had told my parents and me that my poor surgical outcome was, “due to a congenital complication—from the way God made me!” I was familiar with Psalms 139 and knew that God had knitted me together in my mother’s womb. My doctor’s explanation made sense.

Yet, now I knew for fifteen years, my doctor’s had lied. I had lost the use of my legs due to a medical blunder and my doctor’s had had the nerve to blame my God!

I fought tears as Dr. Ulild began his list of instructions. “Janet, go to Dr. Allgood, tell him that you found out. See what he will do for you. I’m certain he’s gotten rid of your medical records.” Then leaning back against the wall, he cleared his throat and glared. “I need to make it clear to you, Janet. You’re not to tell anyone who told you this.”

“But Dr. Ulild, why didn’t anyone ever tell me this before? Why didn’t you tell my parents?”

“Janet, we thought we could fix it.”

“But didn’t I, the patient, have a right to know?” I wondered.

Emotionless, Dr. Ulild then reviewed the options I now had concerning the condition of my right knee. A total knee replacement sounded like the best choice, yet it came with no guarantees due to the amount of nerve damage. The good news was that my MRI showed I hurt my knee when I fell. Unfortunately, I had degenerative arthritis in all compartments of my knee. Dr. Ulild described it best when he said, “Janet, your knee is like that of an eighty-year-old woman!”

Dr. Ulild instructed me to think about my surgical options. Before we said good-bye, he reached for the set of X-rays that I had brought to my appointment. So shaken, I stayed silent.

“I’ll make sure you get these back,” he said. “I want to evaluate them, to compare these films with your others.” Little did I know—these X-rays would somehow disappear!

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Watch for tomorrow’s article as Janet describes her hurt and anger at God for allowing this to happen to her as well as grabbing her medical charts and making a run for it! And yes, we as patients understand that the average medical malpractice insurance rates for our doctors are high, but later on Janet shares what she uncovered about her physician and just how long he had been treating patients without the proper insurance!

Rest Ministries is delighted to have Janet Lynn Mitchell’s book, Taking a Stand, available in our bookstore. When Janet and her parents discovered they had been lied to for years and huge chunks of her medical records had been purged (along with x-rays that mysteriously went missing) what was her answer? Read more in Taking a Stand as this woman makes choices about how to find joy despite the betrayals and also make changes in laws that will protect others. Order Taking a Stand today!

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Lisa and her daughter

The moment I gave birth to my daughter Elizabeth in December of 1989, I felt a stab of fear—her head was so small, so deformed. Within 12 hours, I was told she had been profoundly disabled by congenital CMV (cytomegalovirus). The neonatologist said, “If she lives, she will never roll over, sit up, or feed herself.”

He was right.

Writing (and Scripture) was how I dealt with my initial shock and grief–organizing my thoughts of despair by getting them down on paper stopped them from endlessly swirling around and overwhelming me. Getting my revelations and stories inspired by Elizabeth published made me feel less alone as I connected with others. Sharing my story with others not only healed my own soul, but according to the letters I received from readers, my candid thoughts were also bringing some healing to them. Eventually, even my sense of humor returned and I found that I was able to start writing about other things.

Many writers have asked me, “How can I get my story published?” In order to share what has (and has not) worked for me, I’ve written a FREE e-book, “How to Publish and Promote Your Work,” to help others find the same satisfaction I felt when publicly sharing my thoughts. To download it visit the web site post, Free “How to Get Published” E-Booklet and click on the “Get Published” button.

When trying to get a non-fiction book published, it is required to submit a book proposal. The publisher for my recently released book, “Anything But a Dog! The Perfect Pet for a Girl with Congenital CMV,” which is about a big, homeless dog’s devotion to my disabled daughter, gave their permission for me to include my book proposal in my free e-book. Readers can use it as a guide for their own proposals.

Share your soul!
Lisa Saunders

Note from Lisa Copen, founder of Rest Ministries: I had the opportunity to read this ebook and it’s a gem. Lisa writes it from the heart, but also provides some special stories and examples that will help you piece together your own story for a book, an article or more. It’s a wonderful tool I recommend.