I Need You, Lord. When Your Healthy Spouse Has a Medical Condition

waitingroom

Dana Kennedy An antiseptic smell I couldn’t quite place permeated the air. Perhaps it was a combination of Pine Sol and Clorox. Industrial carpet woven in blues and reds needed a vacuum. A lone ant traveled by my foot. I took the damp tissue in my hand and squashed it. A few fluorescents created shadows which revealed the starkness of the room. The barren environment mimicked the fact that I was the only occupant waiting. It was the middle of the night, and I lay curled on my side wondering if my husband was going to live through surgery. I also--possibly selfishly, yet realistically--wondered if my body would allow me to make it through the ordeal. Having postural intolerance, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia severely … [Read more...]

In Response to Pat Robertsons Statment on Alzheimer’s and Divorce

woman-on-beach

I was shocked to hear such a bold statement from Mr. Pat Robertson, 700 club host, who, on Tuesday's broadcast, justified that a person should not be held accountable for leaving his spouse and seeking divorce if his spouse has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. In this scenario Mr. Robertson has shown the world that one's personal comfort, especially in the case of having a spouse with a chronic illness, is more important than the marriage vows of "for better or for worse, until death do us part." The religious broadcaster Pat Robertson and chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) told his "700 Club" viewers that divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer's is justifiable because the disease is "a kind of death." During … [Read more...]

Making a Difference in the Lives of Soldiers With Illness, Disability, and More

soldier03

Debbi Farmer One of the privileges of writing articles to share with the members of Rest Ministries who are looking for resources to help with their particular kind of pain is finding a "hidden jewel" that can out-shine many others. "Healing our Heroes Network" is just that jewel! "Once a Hero always a Hero," however our military heroes today are only human and can suffer many kinds of wounds too complex sometimes to treat, too personal to share, and too deep to heal without help. That is where this wonderful program comes into play. The "Soldiers for Bibles Ministry" a part of Heart of God International Ministries has seen the need to bring together resources to help our heroes in one convenient location. "Healing Our Heroes … [Read more...]

How a Husband Can Encourage a Chronically Ill Wife – The Spiritual and Emotional Stuff

superrachel3

Matt Horne This is part 2 of a 2 part article. Part 1 is here: Carrying Super Rachel - The Logistics of When Your Wife Is Chronically Ill It's tough to live your life with a chronic illness. Even with the best attitude and support system, you have bad days where you think futile thoughts. "I should be able to do this. . . anybody my age should!" When you can't walk yourself across the room, it's easy to become depressed. Here are some of the ways I help my wife combat this mentality: I reinforce that she's definitely worth something--in face, everything--to me. We both are an active part of our support group, the Texas Association for Dysautonomia Awareness. I encourage her to participate in things she can find joy in and … [Read more...]

Carrying Super Rachel – The Logistics of When Your Wife Is Chronically Ill

superrachel1

By Matt Horne Caring for a chronically ill wife is not what I had envisioned when I was working up the nerve to ask out "that hot girl" who would later become my wife. We were in college and she was on the cross country team. She let me know very early on in the relationship that she had a chronic illness. Nowadays, it's just part of life. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know what to do with myself if she were well. There's a reason I call her "Super Rachel." On her good days, she can run circles around me--cleaning, getting things checked off her to-do list, and having tons of fun. She's amazing. On top of that, she has the greatest attitude and rarely lets her condition get her down. As her dad says, she's an "overcomer." Instead … [Read more...]

Marriage and Chronic Illness: Is Life is a Bowl Full of Cherries? Sometimes!

heart-shaped-cherries

By Jackie Confalone Once upon a time, a fair young maiden caught the eye of a godly young lad in the village of "Bowl of Cherries." The young lad asked the fair maiden if she'd accompany him to a jousting tournament and a courtship began that continued to blossom over the next two years. Once the fair maiden completed her classical studies, the young lad asked for her hand in marriage and she enthusiastically said yes! A grand wedding ceremony and marriage celebration followed and life became a "bowl full of cherries!" Actually, that "fair maiden" is me, and I have been married 30 years to my "young lad." We were blessed with two children, a 24 year-old daughter who married her own godly young lad, and a 21 year-old son who is … [Read more...]

We Really Need to Talk: Authors of “Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired” Have New Book on Communication

couple-needs-to-talk

By: Paul J. Donoghue, PhD and Mary E. Siegel, PhD We all need to talk to relieve tension within us and to connect with people who matter to us. But those of us who are ill really need to talk. Illness threatens our well being, evokes strong emotions, heightens our needs, and makes us more dependent on others. To cope well with all these factors we need to talk. Yet illness often leads us to isolate, to retreat into out own world of pain, fatigue, vulnerability, and fear. When we emerge from our silence, we frequently drive away those we need by blurting our thoughts formed by fear. Blame: You don't care! You don't understand! You only think of yourself. Hopeless remarks: Why don't you just leave me? I can't take it … [Read more...]

When Chronically Ill People Are Assertive, Are We Not Taken Seriously?

assertive-ill-person2

By Lisa Copen I had just received the third pink slip in two weeks from the lab that said my payment was passed due. Over three times I had called and my insurance company had assured me that the lab work was covered and that they would mail out a check that afternoon. This time, when I finally got a representative on the telephone, I was polite, but firm. I said that I wanted the problem taken care of immediately, and I wrote down her name and the supervisor's name. It was time to get even more assertive. When chronically ill people are assertive, is it not taken seriously? Is it assumed that we won't have the energy or stamina to fight all of the battles that we will face? When we do talk to someone in customer service, we are rarely … [Read more...]

Illness & Marriage – Please Don’t Kiss Me!

US

"I'm not going to kiss you..." Who would ever think that hearing these words from your spouse would be considered a sign of his deep love? As my husband and I celebrated our 14th anniversary recently at a nice hotel on the Oregon Coast, we walked on the beach hand in hand, and finally, after 3 days I said, "Just kiss me!" so he did. He'd been in the state of "getting sick" for the last week on and off. The 1000-mile drive (and all the caffeine I kept handing him on the way to stay awake) had not exactly helped him fight it off. Yep, that kiss was really stepping out of a safety zone. I'm glad to say I didn't get sick. Some of you may laugh. If you don't have a chronic illness, you may think this all sounds a bit odd. I mean, who … [Read more...]

Love & Marriage . . . & Illness

joel-&-lisa

"I'm not going to kiss you." Who would ever think that hearing these words from your spouse would be considered a sign of his deep love? As my husb& & I celebrated our 14th anniversary recently at a nice hotel on the Oregon Coast, we walked on the beach h& in h&, & finally, after 3 days I said, "Just kiss me!" so he did. He'd been in the state of "getting sick" for the last week on & off. The 1000-mile drive (& all the caffeine I kept h&ing him on the way to stay awake) had not exactly helped him fight it off. Yep, that kiss was really stepping out of a safety zone. I'm glad to say I didn't get sick. Some of you may laugh. If you don't have a chronic illness, you may think this all sounds a bit odd. I mean, who is going to get … [Read more...]

Couples Are Divorcing to Pay Medical Bills & Get Needed Coverage

couple-senior

What happens when you or your spouse has a chronic illness & it gets to the point where you financially are out of resources? Recently "The Today Show" had a story about a couple who dealt with the costs in the only way they knew how in the USA. The got divorced. The woman's husb&, who was diagnosed with dementia that quickly progressed, needed round-the-clock care, & was moved to a nursing home. The bills were around $7500-8000 a month. After 18 months & $75,000 one of her husb&'s doctors said, "Keep working & get yourself a really good lawyer." An elder law attorney told her as a last resort she could get a divorce. She had been married 43 years. Her response? "I was shocked, I was horrified & angry." But with a divorce, her … [Read more...]

What’s a Man With an Illness do as a New Empty Nester?

man-sad2

I am the father of a 22-year-old son who recently moved out of the house. My wife works at a local craft store full time, but I have been unable to work the last few years due to a degenerative chronic illness. Usually it seems the women grieve an "empty nest" more than the men, but since I was the one around the house with my son, I feel like it is impacting me more than ever. I'm quickly getting depressed about how quiet is & how, well, dull my life actually is without the energy of my son here. Where do I go from here? -Jonathan Jonathan, it's interesting that you should bring this up. My best friend (Kathleen Y'Barbo) & I just wrote a book for Empty Nest moms titled, "The House is Quiet. . .Now What?" In it, we deal with nine … [Read more...]

AWSOM Powered