“You Are Too Young to Be That Sick!”

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"You are too young to be that ill! Oh, you are too young to be dealing with that kind of pain." Why do simple, even well-intentioned words hurt so much? By Lisa Copen At the age of twenty-four, a thousand miles away from my family and living in a new city, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Over a period of four weeks and about eight doctor’s visits, I finally found a physician of internal medicine who listened to me explain my symptoms; in less than two days I had a diagnosis. Despite the terms “chronic” and “forever” I felt relieved to know the label that described my chronic pain. Few of my friends, however, shared my enthusiasm for a diagnosis. The managers at my office were more concerned about the fact that I … [Read more...]

Devotion: Discovering the Balance When We Share About Our Illness and Pain

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“. . . My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) How do you respond when someone asks about your illnesses? With minimizing, detailed complaining, or do you have a good balance? I once brushed it off in a small group setting, where we were supposed to voice our concerns, thus giving no credence to pain or illness. I later realized that because of that, keeping quiet was a negative. For example, some people wondered why my church attendance was spotty at best. I didn’t speak up. Six years ago an acquaintance suddenly became ill with an invisible illness. She will still go into great detail while taking a “poor me” posture with anyone who will listen. That’s speaking up … [Read more...]

Devotion: Seeking the Sunshine Daily While Coping With Chronic Illness

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“Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always” (Psalm 105:4). I love gardening, and although I am limited in what I can physically do, I greatly miss my flowers during the winter months, so for Christmas a friend gave me an amaryllis plant to grow. I appreciated it but had difficulty in deciding where to put it since direct sunlight is filtered through the large trees in our yard. I finally decided to place it in front of the sliding door in our dining room each morning and move it out of the way each night. I wasn’t sure if it would grow, but I am thrilled that the plant is now much higher than my hopes and ready to bloom! As I happily watch my plant’s progress, I am reminded of how much I need not only the earthly … [Read more...]

Devotion: Why We Should Make Seeking Wisdom a Priority When Chronically Ill

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“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you’” (James 1:5). I have quoted this verse many times in recent years regarding different situations in my life, one of which is dealing with my illness. I know many of us have probably prayed for healing and in God’s sovereignty, He has chosen not to do so; however, He doesn’t leave us empty-handed. There are many tools God gives us to help us on this journey and wisdom is definitely one of them. When dealing with chronic illness, there are always decisions that need to be made. Sometimes long term decisions about treatment and care or many times it’s just daily decisions like deciding how to … [Read more...]

What is the Hardest Part of Living with Illness? Your Responses!

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What is the hardest part of living with a chronic illness? Well, it depends on who you are asking, what time of day you are asking, and a million other factors. Yet, we all have so much in common and we can understand the challenges of the friend beside us even if we don't deal with it ourselves. We all feel "called" to certain things, and not being able to do them--from homeschooling to making dinner--is difficult when we don't feel we can do what we, and others, expect from our self. And the fact that it is invisible . . . well, that makes many of the struggles even more painful as we feel we must justify a housekeeper or a parking placard.   We asked you, "What is the hardest part of living with illness?" and here are your … [Read more...]

Trusting God’s Goodness When Fearful of Making Plans

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As we begin the new year, it's easy to feel that obligation to make plans and set resolutions. But goals can be difficult for those with chronic conditions. this lovely article by Ann can help us put our goals into perspective and learn more about why we can feel anxiety when we start that "to do" list. Trusting God’s Goodness When Fearful of Making Plans By Ann Ferguson “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust and am not afraid” (Psalm 56:3-4). I often live in fear. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m not so much afraid of the big picture. I have accepted fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome for what it is and I know God is in control. Mostly, I am afraid to make plans. … [Read more...]

Devotion: Lessons From A Stray Kitten

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34) Stray cats always appear on our doorstep. Most of the time, they are adult cats that disappear after we feed them. Recently, however, Norman discovered a tiny kitten at the edge of our driveway. He was utterly helpless. He limped and trembled as he followed Norman around the yard. My daughter and I watched while Norman and our son, Josh, fed the kitten and made a shelter. We cared for the kitten for three days. When no one came to claim him, we called the rescue shelter. During those three days, Josh became really attached to the little kitten and named him Knoxville. Because our daughter has … [Read more...]

Devotion: Whee Does My Value Come From?

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"For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured possession." (Deuteronomy 14:2) The world places so much value on how much we can get done in a day. It's more concerned with job titles, accomplishments, and rewards than the character and worth of a person. As a new mother and wife, nineteen years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Suddenly I wasn't able to do all I once did. I couldn't help comparing myself to other mothers. I had a picture of what a good mother and wife should look like and it didn't leave room for inadequacies. All my priorities changed. I couldn't hold down a full time job or make plans in … [Read more...]

Devotion: Take Every Thought and Emotion to Jesus

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"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. " (2 Corinthians 10:5) Lately I seem to be full of all kinds of emotions. When I'm in a flare I tend to feel helpless, lonely, and depressed. One would think that after spending seventeen years with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia I would not have these feelings anymore. But they are there. Thoughts creep in like: Who will take care of me if I can't even take care of myself? Who will help me with my children? Will my husband run out of patience or be cold and distant? I know I need to bring ever thought captive to Christ. How do you do that when you feel like your … [Read more...]

Devotion: I’ll Fly Away

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"My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. I said, 'Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.'" (Psalm 55:4-6) Years ago, ending a healthy pregnancy, I found myself hurried into surgery for an emergency C-section. A few hours later, our firstborn child died. I had desperately wanted a child and was devastated by his death. Each evening my husband would sit and hold me in his arms while I sobbed out my loss. One, evening, I remember feeling as if I were outside my body, dispassionately watching this pitiful scene. My emotional pain was so great that I left my body. I dissociated. We all dissociate in small ways every … [Read more...]

Devotion: Learning to Not Ask “Why?” But “Why Not?”

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"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) I recently wrote an essay for an anthology entitled, "Questions for God." Over eighty people wrote essays in answer to the question, "If you could ask God one question, what would it be?" (My question was, "Why don't you intervene when innocent children are suffering?") Most people have a lengthy list of why questions for God. Lately, I find myself challenged to rethink the value of asking "why" questions. Am I asking the wrong question? What if I were to reverse the question and ask "why not me?" Why was I not born into a non-believing family, instead of my Christian family? Why do I … [Read more...]

What Adventures Has Your Illness Brought To You? (Other Than Familiarity With Medical Stuff!)

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Bridget Gazlay recently started writing a monthly column for her community newspaper and she is able and eager to share it with us too. So often we only see the losses that can accompany our diagnosis of a disease, but just as Bridget shares, you never know the possibilities God has in store for you, even within the illness itself. Lisa By Bridget Gazlay According to Gallup's daily poll of 1500 Americans, 54% felt our economic outlook is getting worse (February 2, 2011). There is no doubt about it; these days are hard. And being that I am a young single person it's even tougher - especially since I am also chronically ill. My life has many ups and many downs, but my life is never dull, that's for sure. I am also an Administrative … [Read more...]