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Marriage and Chronic Illness: Is Life is a Bowl Full of Cherries? Sometimes!

May 3, 2011 By 1 Comment
heart-shaped-cherries

By Jackie Confalone Once upon a time, a fair young maiden caught the eye of a godly young lad in the village of "Bowl of Cherries." The young lad asked the fair maiden if she'd accompany him to a jousting tournament and a courtship began that continued to blossom over the next two years. Once the fair maiden completed her classical studies, the young lad asked for her hand in marriage and she enthusiastically said yes! A grand wedding ceremony and marriage celebration followed and life became a "bowl full of cherries!" Actually, that "fair maiden" is me, and I have been married 30 years to my "young lad." We were blessed with two children, a 24 year-old daughter who married her own godly young lad, and a 21 year-old son who is … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Marriage, Parenting, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Our Pain And Transparency Can Be a Gift to Others

February 11, 2011 By 1 Comment
tulips-snow3

Last year I wrote the message below in a newsletter article. I am going through some of my files from last season and as I read through the comments many of you made, my heart swelled with appreciation and joy.Together, you each encourage me so much, but you also encourage each other and so I wanted to share your comments here so others can relate and be comforted. I don't share this to glorify myself with your kind compliments, bur rather to encourage you to allow yourself to admit when you are struggling. Because see what happens? I am no different than each of you. Our story of faith and illness together is an amazing testimony. Carefully choose who to reveal your challenges with, but be willing to take of the mask off, the one … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Depression, Founder's Blog, Share Your Story, Spiritually Struggling, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Power of Friendship When You are Ill

May 19, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I am blessed with amazing friends and I am even luckier that they come from a wide range of backgrounds and they have a variety of interests. I have my friends from the gym who will listen to me explain why eating half of the bag of Doritos seemed like a good idea last night and who commiserate with me about the fact that the older I am, the more exercise it seems to take to maintain my body. My teaching buddies share stories and laughter about the adventures that are inevitable when dealing with children. They are there to support me on those days when I wonder out loud if Barnes and Noble is hiring because that would be so much quieter than the chaos that was my day. They listen knowingly when I tell them about the student who finally … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Friend Has Illness, Person w/ Illness, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , ,

Illness & Marriage – Please Don’t Kiss Me!

April 18, 2010 By 3 Comments
US

"I'm not going to kiss you..." Who would ever think that hearing these words from your spouse would be considered a sign of his deep love? As my husband and I celebrated our 14th anniversary recently at a nice hotel on the Oregon Coast, we walked on the beach hand in hand, and finally, after 3 days I said, "Just kiss me!" so he did. He'd been in the state of "getting sick" for the last week on and off. The 1000-mile drive (and all the caffeine I kept handing him on the way to stay awake) had not exactly helped him fight it off. Yep, that kiss was really stepping out of a safety zone. I'm glad to say I didn't get sick. Some of you may laugh. If you don't have a chronic illness, you may think this all sounds a bit odd. I mean, who … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Caregiver, Founder's Blog, Love, Marriage, Person w/ Illness, Person w/ lll Spouse, Podcasts, Support Group Leader, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How Do I Stop Feeling Guilty When My Parents Won’t Accept My Boundaries?

April 14, 2010 By Leave a Comment
mom-child

I believe I've set proper boundaries with both parents (they're divorced) & I'm at peace with that in itself, but I'm still having a hard time emotionally letting go of my extended family. How can I stop feeling guilty? My mother doesn't see that my need to still enforce boundaries isn't unforgiveness, but caution & a desire to ensure my children's safety. On the other side, my father & step-mother are pressuring us to move closer to them so they can spend more time with their gr&children. I can't win with either parent & I feel like I'm being treated like a child. I'm almost to the point of cutting ties with both of them. My husb& has been 100% in agreement with my st& & is very supportive. However, I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Help! Q/A, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Feeling Lonely? It May be a Reason Your Blood Pressure is High

April 1, 2010 By 3 Comments

For the first time a new study show has show that there is a direct relation between one being lonely & an increase in blood pressure -- up to 4 years later! The study, published in the current issue of the Journal Psychology & Aging, found that the direct correlation is independent of age & other factors that can cause increased blood pressure, such as a high body-mass index, smoking, alcohol use & demographic differences (like race & income.) A researcher, Louise Hawkley says in the article "Loneliness behaved as though it is a unique health-risk factor in its own right." Medical News Today says: "Like blood pressure, loneliness is sometimes not easy to detect. People who have many friends & a social network can feel lonely if … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Health News, Medical Professional, Person w/ Illness, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Fireproof – A Good Valentine’s Rental Movie

February 7, 2010 By 1 Comment

Fireproof is an amazing movie that was out in 2008 that set records for any independent film. Starring actor Kirk Cameron, heplays a fire chief & a man who is well-respected by those in his community. But his marriage is nearing the end. It’s not because of an affair with another person, or some dramatic event that takes place; but rather because, day by day, both spouses take one another a little more for granted & move away from each other than toward each other. Both are searching for validation of their emotions & even simple appreciation. Despite the fact that the movie was at the theaters two years ago the ministry of this movie continues to impact lives & change marriages. They have set up a Fireproof website specifically for … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Anger, Articles, Books, Church Leader, Depression, Events, Fear, Links, Marriage, Person w/ Illness, Person w/ lll Spouse, Support Group Leader, Videos, What's New? Tagged With: , ,

Longing for Someone to Say… “I’m Proud of You”?

January 30, 2010 By Leave a Comment

When was the last time you heard these words? A touching book that Lisa recently read & gives 5 stars is I'm Proud of You: My Friendship with Fred Rogers by reporter Tim Madigan. And if you really do have a hankering to hear someone say those words, drop by Mister Roger's web site where he will sing "I'm Proud of You" as well as other classics like "You are Special" & "I'm Still Myself Inside." And we thought this Presbyterian minister was ministering just to kids! Here at Rest Ministries we think most of us can relate with his messages. Related articles by ZemantaSpirit of Mr. Rogers warms neighbors in need (fremontuniverse.com)Give Back: Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood Sweater Drive (seattlest.com) … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Caregiver, Coping Skills, Links, Music, Our Best Tips, Person w/ Illness, Self -Esteem, Spiritually Struggling, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How Do You Get Romantic with an Ill Wife?

January 26, 2010 By 2 Comments

So, you have an ill wife who is never in the mood, who says "ow" when you give her a hug. But she wants to know you care. Now what? When your wife is chronically ill it can be hard for her to think "romance." She may be in a great deal of physical pain or also suffer from side effects of the illness or medications, such as weight gain or loss, a "puffy prednisone," or even feeling sick to her stomach. She may also be dealing with the loss of her career and dealing with grief. Be assured that you are not alone. Nearly 1 in 2 people in the USA live with a chronic illness and so many marriages are impacted. Unfortunately, nearly seventy-five percent of them end in divorce when an illness is that "third party" in the marriage. So, how … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Marriage, Person w/ lll Spouse, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

December 20, 2009 By 1 Comment

The pains of divorce & separation are real, but they don't have to last. For many, making a New Year's resolution to attend a DivorceCare group has been the key to healing. This is an article we are passing on. WAKE FOREST, NC, Dec 2009/Christian Newswire/ -- For people facing the pain of divorce or separation, the New Year is a good time to commit to the healing process. A marital breakup can be devastating for the individuals going through it, as it affects emotions, self-esteem, children, finances & daily energy levels. With so much personal upheaval, most people going through divorce are unsure of how to find complete healing from the hurt, & hope for the future. Many experience a breakthrough in this process by attending a … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Hurt Feelings, Links, Marriage, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , ,

HopeNotes #83 is Ready to Encourage You

December 16, 2009 By 1 Comment

We hope Rest Ministries weekly issue of HopeNotes are an encouragement to you! Please feel free to forward it on to a friend who needs some comfort too. Our newsletter, is now available for you. In this issue we have a link to an interview with Sheila Walsh on Life Today by James & Betty Robison. They describe the video on Tangle.com as "Sheila accounts her recent struggles with marriage, finances & depression which are the impetus of the book 'Let Go.' A good lesson for al of us any time, but especially at this time of year. You can always find the most recent issue at this link: http://www.restministries.org/hopenotes/mostrecent.htm … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Newsletter - HopeNotes, What's New? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

My Parents Don’t Believe I am Really Ill

October 12, 2009 By 6 Comments

I am 36 & was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year, but I've had the severe symptoms for about 3 years. My husb& has been supportive, but my parents don't believe I really have this illness & if I do I should just take the medicine they see on the commercials & get on with life. I love them & want to still have some kind of relationship with them, but it is causing stress on my marriage too, because my husb& can't bear to see me hurt by them any more. -Sherry Dear Sherry, I’m sorry you’re hurting. Sometimes it can be very difficult for others to underst& or to accept the reality of a chronic illness. Often times, they don’t realize that the debilitating affects of an illness like Fibromyalgia vary from patient to patient … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Church Leader, Depression, Help! Q/A, Hurt Feelings, Need to Know, Parent of Ill or Disabled Child, Person w/ Illness, Person w/ lll Spouse, Support Group Leader Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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