Caregiver Perspective on Doubt

Doubt is a great hindrance to those who care for a chronically ill person. Doubt prevents us from believing that God will answer our prayers. Some of us have lived so long in the shadows of illness that we have little hope.

Our heads speak to God, but His comfort never reaches our hearts. Even as we pray we believe that tomorrow we will face the same situation all over again. We know that God can change our lives, but we doubt that He will.

My husb& has an intra-thecal pump installed in his body that administers pain medication directly into his spinal column. This device makes his pain bearable. Because of pain in all other joints of his body, he must take other medications as well; & we know that drugs will always be part of our lives.

He begins some days with a minimum of pain. On these days, he optimistically says he is going to ask the doctor to decrease the medicine in his pump. Even as I praise God for this improvement, I wonder how long it will be before he says that he hurts worse than ever.

It is an emotional roller-coaster for me; casting me from positive encouragement to negative pessimism in a matter of a few hours.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could comm& our troubles to “go jump in the lake!” & rid ourselves of doubt? The good news is that we can! Jesus said in Matthew 21:21 “I tell you the truth, if you have faith & do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ & it will be done.”

This mountain is a specific mountain which for us is chronic illness. When you pray, believe that— though you may wake up & face the same situation again tomorrow—God will give you the strength to do that.

Think about it. The simple fact that you have a willing heart & are able to do the same things over & over again is clear evidence that God is answering your prayers. Have faith & do not doubt. Your mountain can become beach s& when you trust in God’s love.

Lora Ch&ler has been in a care giving role since 1982 when her husb& began his life-long struggle with pain due to a bone disease. Lora welcomes your comments at lorac@yucca.net.