“He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.” (John 8:47)
“I know God is faithful,” I told my mom. “I just wish that He didn’t always have to wait until the last minute!”
Recovering from a joint replacement surgery I was unable to drive for about twelve weeks. Going into surgery, I had been told it would be about six weeks. Hence, after six weeks, it was time for my mom to go home & I needed to figure out rides– rides to & from physical therapy 45 minutes away, rides for my son home from school, rides to his other activities. When I was desperate I called the local cab company & paid $10 for a 3-mile drive.
I wanted to hear God’s voice & reassurance. I wanted Him to come through for me with volunteers. I wanted to assure my mom she could go home without feeling guilty. But what did God want? God wanted me to wait.
I wanted God to talk to me but I couldn’t always hear from Him because I was too busy making my own dem&s. I had a calendar full of therapy appointments, doctor appointments, lab tests, parent/teacher meetings & more. I had to make sure my son ate something for lunch occasionally, that he did his homework, & that my husb& felt like he was more than just my caregiver. I had a family member in crises, I had Christmas coming up, & I only had one h& I could use. I longed to talk to God about it all, but I literally ran out of time some days.
I could relate with the words of an author: “I didn’t have time to belong to God — I wanted Him to belong to me.”
I talk to God all day & send out tons of little prayers. For example, my mom hates driving in Southern California & when she would merge onto the freeway we would holler, “Lord, part the cars! Part the cars!” (It worked, in case you are wondering.) But real intimacy? I was just trying to fit God into my schedule. I know . . . how pathetic is that?
Proverbs 21:30 says, “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord.” We often think that our plans are not against the Lord, so how can they be wrong? But if our relationship is based solely on those flimsy & flippant “prayers” then the foundation of all of our plans & purpose will not succeed.
Chronic illness is dem&ing. It subtracts our precious time, saps our energy, plays games with our emotions, & dem&s to be a priority in our life. So where do we start if we may want to build a more intimate relationship with Jesus & yet we feel overwhelmed? I believe Psalm 25:4-5 holds the answer:
“Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth & teach me, for You are God my Savior, & my hope is in You all day long.”
About the Author:
Lisa Copen & is the founder of Rest Ministries & has lived with rheumatoid arthritis & fibromyalgia since 1993. She resides in San Diego with her husb& & seven-year-old son.
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