“I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.” (Romans 1:16)
After about four weeks of consistent chest pains, today I finally had a “stress test.” Since I am not able to get on a treadmill, I took what is called a nuclear stress test. They scan your heart via a large machine that resembles an MRI machine, put a sort of dye into you, then you go eat something & come back & do it again.
The test as a whole is pretty simple, but before I’d arrived I had a migraine sort of headache & a crazy day already, picking my son up from school with an ear infection & taking him to the clinic for medication. And the hardest part of the test is lying on the small table on my back when I cannot position my “out of place” shoulders, from rheumatoid arthritis. The rheumatologist says I have partially torn rotator cuffs & my range of motion is very limited. So this is where the real pain sets in. During these long 18 minutes & then 18 more, I could not move & my shoulder musclesached like a charlie horse had hit them & they quivered.
The tube started turning & after repeating a few scriptures I looked around at my surroundings & saw the machine near my face said, “Low Energy, High Resolution.” I had the chance to look at those words for a few minutes & begin to see how they described what I hope is my life.
The “low energy” part I likely don’t need to explain. But what about the “high resolution?” I hope that as I walk into each medical visit & interact with five or so people, & I have my cross necklace around my neck, I am showing Jesus in high resolution. I thanked the technician profusely for trying to prop up my shoulders with pillows & whatever else he could find. He used some piece of form & said, “After 12 years, I’ve never thought to try that.” I mentioned something about turning the big crises over to the Lord to the nurse (& admitted it was the little ones I thought I could control that got to me.)
Am I living in high resolution for the Lord? Despite my low energy, is the reason for my hope clear? If someone was to print out my “life” on a printer, would it be blurry at 72 dots per inch or 300? What would the picture look like? What would be represented?
Prayer: Lord, help us to remain in You, focused on the hope that You give us even during the dreariest of moments or the least fun things we must do as we take care of our bodies. Though our energy is low, that is no surprise to You. Be with us every step of the way so we can always reflect the gospel & the power of Your salvation.
About the Author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries & has lived with rheumatoid arthritis & fibromyalgia since 1993. She lives in San Diego with her husb& & 7-year-old son & is completing her newest book this week, “How to Start a Chronic Illness Small Group Ministry.” Watch for it in a few weeks at chronicillnessbooks.com .