By Matt Krueger
At the age of 27 doctors placed 6 metal stents into my heart to open up blocked arteries. The mental, emotional, and physical trauma from this event did not compare to the fear, anxiety, and stress in the following months and even years after the procedure. Anyone truly facing their mortality for the first time, believer or non-believer, will experience the feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, and anger that can come from such a traumatic event.
However, it is during times like these when we are caused to make a choice and to turn from our fears and find faith in God. The battle is for your mind. We have to make the choice, with literally every thought, to filter out the negative thoughts such as worry, fear, and anxiety and replace them with the everlasting positive and powerful Word of God.
God was working on my Heart, Literally.
God was changing my heart, in more ways than one.
During this traumatic time in my life, my wife and I had recently purchased our first home, had started 2 businesses, and were also expecting our first child.
I put off the surgery in the event of something going wrong, I did not want to stress my wife and unborn child. Left alone to my thoughts of “what if” during my long daily commute I became consumed with thoughts of death and dying.
“Google-ing” the prognosis of my condition only made matters worse and it seemed that everyone I ran into seemed to have a story about someone who they new who died during or in the short time after the procedure in which I was to undergo. The timing and coincidence of bad news from friends and even family became comical looking back on the bombardment from the enemy.
In the months and years after the procedure the devil flooded my mind with thoughts that any pains that I was feeling were probably signs of impending heart attack. I took 2 ambulance rides after the procedure, thinking that I was having chest pain, only to be checked out and found that there was nothing wrong with me physically. My problem was mental and spiritual, God knew it and I was finally starting to understand it.
You Can’t Fight an Enemy, you don’t know exists.
You can’t fight a battle, that you don’t know you’re in.
Almost 2 years after the initial procedure and subsequent attacks from the enemy I finally drew the line. Through counseling, prayer, and christian radio (all of which I would have not chose to pursue without God allowing this trial to take place in my life) I finally became equipped with the knowledge to understanding to fend off the mental attacks of the enemy.
Coincidentally, on June 6, 2006 (6-6-06) I was being attacked again by the enemy. After the previous day of planting a tree, I “thought” I experienced pain in my left shoulder and arm. Again, fear, anxiety, and paralysis took hold of my mind that morning as I was walking on my sidewalk going out to my car on my way to work. I contemplated taking my 3rd trip via ambulance to the hospital as I thought this was “the big one”.
Standing up to the Enemy,
Standing for Christ
My crying, uncertainty, and embarrassment somehow turned to strength, determination, and resolve as prayed on the sidewalk that day and finally gave my life over to Jesus Christ. If this was really a heart attack, I asked Jesus to save me in the life to come, and if not I pledged my belief in him in this life as well.
At the same time, with almost an angered, fighting, determination I finally stood up to the bully. I remember in my prayer that day literally telling the enemy to go pick on someone else. I finally knew who he was and his intentions and I was finished with allowing him to torment me.
My life has been transformed by these events. I am now 33 years old, my wife and I have just had our 4th child and God has blessed us in our business and ministry. I love sharing my testimony and music (written during this challenging and changing time in my life) documenting my real life journey from fear to faith.
Matt Krueger would love the opportunity to share God’s message through his story and music with your church. For more information contact him directly at 773-425-2581 or at his web site www.mattkruegermusic.com Be sure to visit his web site to listen to his music. Matt and his family recently had the production crew from CBN 700 at their home. He will keep us posted on when the story will air.