When you get a new doctor, it can be draining to establish who you are and how you cope with your disease. Lisa explains.
“Then a new king to who Joseph meant nothing came into power.” (Exodus 1:8)
About three years ago I started going to a new rheumatologist. I had been with my previous doctor abut a dozen years and it was time for a change. I liked the new doctor from my first visit, and yet, it still took about eighteen months before I felt like he knew who I was.
When we have a relationship with someone who has power in our life, like a doctor, an employer, or a professor, it can take time to get to know them and allow them to know who we really are.
For example, with a new doctor I felt like I wanted him to know I was a fighter, but I was tired of fighting the same battle –and that was why I was looking for a new doctor. I wanted him to understand how I used medication, but responsibly and under doctor’s intention.
He needed to know I was a mom and that although I knew how to pace myself I would occasionally make unwise decisions for my body because I refused to miss out on something. I wanted to give him a glimpse into my personality, that I didn’t complain a lot and had a high tolerance for pain, so when I did bring it up, it was because I was in serious pain that needed to be addressed.
All of this takes time, commitment, and mental energy. As my son has recently began attending a new school, my husband and I are back in this situation again. We are trying to let the staff know we are involved, but not hovering. And we are trying to make sure the school gets to know our son– in person, rather than the him on paper.
God knows us–intimately. And how refreshing it is that we can come to Him anytime–even when we haven’t talked to Him for awhile–and He instantly knows our heart. We don’t have to monitor what parts of our heart we show him or try to convince Him of what He should pay attention to when we pray to Him.
1 Samuel 16:7b says, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
As we are trying to show our true selves to others–while making (what we hope is) a good impression, it is assuring to know we don’t have to pretend when we are at our Father’s feet.
Prayer: Lord, help me not over-analyze how people perceive me or worry that they don’t understand who I really am. Send me doctors with compassion who can see the person I wish to be–one who follows You. Amen.
About the author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.
When you get a new doctor, how do you communicate what kind of person you are, your values, and how you best cope with your disease?
You may also be interested in How Do I Get a Doctor Who Will Listen? by Lisa.
We all carry some baggage with us and this is so very true when it comes to our medical conditions. Just visiting a new doctor takes great preparations and clear thoughts–something we don’t always have. Enjoy this song, “Suitcases” by Dara Maclean. It thought it was a funky , fun song with some great lyrics about how we carry around our baggage –and God wants it! -Lisa
Lisa excellent words of truth here. Like you said the effort in establishing a new dr is so difficult, I’m doin that right now myself. It is a long gradual process. I’m so thankful as you said that we don’t have to do this with our Lord. He knows all that we are and every part of us both inside and out intimately. And loves us all the more. Thank you for that reminder and encouragement. Blessings diane
Excellent article..
It still amazes me to read my own thoughts written by someone else. I am finally blessed to have an amazing doctor that not only knows me as a patient , but has taken the time to get to know me as a person. Like you, I am a mother. I know my limits, but as long as I am not doing damage, I will push myself too hard just to be able to do things with my family (even if I spend the next 3 days in bed because of it). I have a high baseline pain level on a daily basis but tolerate it well, so if I am up all night with muscle spasms, he knows its bad. He never even questions it if I need an emergency Rx called in at the end of the month because I have a few more bad days then we planned for. After so many docs treating me like a drug seeking hypochondriac prior to my multiple diagnosisrs, this doc is nothing short of a miracle.
Thank you for this devotional, Lisa. Come January, my doctor for the last 25 years will no longer be in practice. 25 years is a long time. He knew me when I was healthy, and helped me through the onset of chronic illness over 20 years ago. He understood all of the idiosyncrasies of my body and my illness. He respected me, not just as a patient but also as a person. I felt safe with him. Why, he was even my mother’s doctor until she went to be with The Lord.
How can I possibly start over with someone who does not know me? I can, because God will be by my side. God knows every part of me, from the very beginning of my existence (Psalm 139) I must trust that God will guide me to the right doctor. And I must know that it is God who has numbered my days and holds me in the palm of his hand – not the doctor. I am still not looking forward to the change, but I am looking forward to seeing what God has for me in this change.
God Bless, Margie
I moved to a small town 200 miles from my previous Dr, so had to find a new pain management Dr. It’s so frustrating, the Dr’s in this area treat you like some drug seeking criminal. First off most of the pain management drs only treat pain by injections or spinal blocks. I’ve already been through that treatment for several years & it longer works for me, then, those that do treat with pain meds refuse to see me unless I go through a battery of expensive tests even though I have all the records from my previous Dr, & all the specialist he has sent me to (rheumatologist, neurologist etc). I finally found a Dr that would even see me & is willing to continue with my previous treatment routine but he is a jerk! He could care less about getting to know me but I have found out through him these local p m drs have a network & if I try’shopping’ (as he put it) for a new Dr he will fire me as a patient! It took me 4 months to find him & it seems I’m stuck. What do you do? (besides pray)
Kathy, I think a lot of people are stuck in this same place. I would suggest–if you can afford it–to have the tests your doctor asks. I know it is hard, The simplest of tests like a bone scan wipes me out for the day. But doctors who want t run a lot of tests are generally saying they are committed to you as a patient long-term and they want to know exactly what the tests show so they have a baseline when you first started seeing them.
I know it is frustrating, but every doctor has their own way of what blood tests they order, MRIs, etc. and there is a certain amount of “humoring” we must do so that they know we will be a “good patient.” They can easily think, if we refuse the tests, what are the chances we will comply to their treatment suggestions?
If money is a concern, explain this to the new doctor and ask him to help you prioritize the order of the tests. My doctor usually will refer me to the insurance specialist (don’t know her real title) to find out exactly what is covered or if there is patient assistance.
Best of outcome to you, {{hugs}}
Kathy I can relate to what you are saying. Being in PM and using meds is like living with a ball and chain. Yes I think prayer is the only option we have. One day God will break these chains off of us and we’ll have no more suffering. Hold on to that. Know that there are many of us like you out there. Lots of hugs
Thanks for this great post Lisa. I’m slowly catching up on my RM devotionals.
When we’d be sent to yet another Dr, Pediatrician, Psychologist etc etc for my youngest son, I’d take in a RED folder with previous test results. It was amazing how that RED folder make them take me more seriously to do a good job for my son! Can’t remember who suggested it to me, but it worked a treat! 🙂 Lotsoluv Kerryn
Wow! Great idea on the red folder. Clever.
I hope the red folder is helping you too Lisa! We have to use whatever we can that gives non-verbal messages to assist us! Lotsoluv Kerryn
Have adrenal fatigue. Have been on steroids for 15 years. Lyme disease since 1991. Just curious how others with same/similar condition are being treated. Struggle with extreme fatigue & pain. Just doing daily routine chores is a real challenge…
Welcome Gena. 🙂
I don’t have the illnesses you have, but I do have constant exhaustion from CFIDS (chronic fatigue & immune dysfunction syndrome). So I feel for you….. it’s tough & am praying for you now. I am lying in bed typing this & my husband is my carer.
You will find others to talk to with your illnesses in the Sunroom. You can get there by clicking the word “Sunroom” at the very top of the page. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn