When pain and insomnia zap all your patience, how do you continue to use words that glorify God? Lisa explains.
“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3).
I recently received one of my quarterly infusions and the side effects multiplied. I was in severe pain and had slept just seven hours in three days. I drug myself to places I needed to be, made meals, and had playdates. By Friday night no one in my house had patience for each other, let alone me. I yelled, I cried, I pleaded. I fell asleep twice before 8:30 but was awoken by the household’s drama.
At these times I have to watch my words so carefully. I am beyond exhausted, my emotions are impacted by both the medications and insomnia. My grace and mercy is depleted.
Rather than keep trying to be kind, I break. I want everyone to realize how hard I have been trying for days to keep their lives as normal as possible while I suffer. . . and I am not going to suffer silently any more!
When we are in an extended period of deep pain it is hard to pray. And when I do pray, it is for my relief or how I hope my family can adapt. I am not praying that God will give me patience and mercy and grace, but rather praying for how people around me can give this to me! But this is when I need His help more than ever.
Because at some point, someone will know about my suffering. If I don’t talk to God about it, my family will get the brunt of it and it won’t be pretty. When I share with the Lord first, not only will I find renewal, I will save my family from being expected to meet my needs of sympathy –or thankfulness for my efforts.
God knows, God listens, and He will help me keep my lips under control.
About the author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is currently working on a prayer book for those who are chronically ill and balancing motherhood with foot surgery in March. Be encouraged by one of her books today! 100% proceeds go to Rest Ministries. Check out Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.
Do you find yourself losing control of your words after extended periods of pain or insomnia? How do you control your words when you are exhausted and out of patience?
On days like this we may need a reminder about how much we are loved–and this is why we can love others. When you consider who you are and how much God loves you anyway, it becomes easier to extend that grace and kindness to others. This is Jason Gray singing “Remind Me Who I Am.” Hope it blesses you today. -Lisa
My mother died this past week. She was 82 and suddenly struck down with complications related to blood thinners and strokes. Just days before she became an invalid, she was a perky, happy, self-sufficient and a beautiful woman going about life with self control. The loss of her faculties devastated her, but she pressed on in rehab knowing that her body was a ticking timebomb for another stroke. She was in the hospital and then rehab for two weeks when she passed away in the middle of the night.
She was exhausted and felt like God had forsaken her. All my family could do was hold her close and stand by her side. Our pastor and the hospital chaplin prayed with her. So many held her up in prayer, but she wanted to die. She was too tired to continue and her prospects for her “old” life were shattered. Her facial muscles were so tense from pain and distress that she barely was able to smile.
She was careful with what she spoke. She was faithful to the end with what she allowed to come from her mouth. She loved each of her nine children and made sure they were close enough to one another to stay close in the same way after she left us. What a Godly example she left me.
I lived very close to my mom, so every day I either called her or went to spend time with her. I thank God for the time I chose to spend with my mom the last few years of her life. The memories will live with me the rest of my life and she passed her special gifts of love to me so that I can do the same.
Laurel, my heart goes out to you at this time. Your mother sounds like she was a wonderful person.Who raised a devoted daughter (and her other children). May the Lord comfort you and the rest of her family and friends as you grieve.
What an example she set with her careful words, at a time of deep suffering.
Gentle hugs,
Beth
Lisa, being “beyond exhausted” makes one feel out of control and so weak.Speaking loving words is not easy at such a time, but God can do amazing things in and through us, even then.
Thank you, dear Lisa.
Gentle hugs,
Beth
Laurel – my condolences to you on the death of your mother. That she left the legacy of caring words for you and her family is wonderful.
My mother also died from a massive stroke. It, however, silenced her and yet we had one month to speak our love to her before she died from its complications.
Thank you for sharing with us when it has been just this past week that she died.
Praying God’s comfort for you all.
Lynn
Lisa, I could hear the drain and confusion as you shared about your week and the lack of sleep and how words can fly out before one knows it during such times of exhaustion and when all around is also in chaos.
I was initially thinking that when life gets that hard for me, I have an advantage in that I live alone.
However, it did not take God long to remind me that my “self talk” at such times can be ever as reflective of the drain I experience – the internal musings that are not that amusing.
Good reminders for all of us to turn to the Word for our comfort before we make it uncomfortable for others around us or for ourselves.
Hugs – Lynn
Laural heart goes out to you as you walk through this difficult time. I will be keeping you in prayer. You mom sounds like such a beautiful woman of God and im sure you are much like her. May God grant you His peace and comfort right where you are. Diane
Lisa tks so much for these words of wisdom. When the lack of sleep combined with pain is persistent for days, the ability to have that guard on our mouth becomes soooo difficult! Im going to try to remember your verse and advice. Seeking Him first, allowing His gentle balm to soothe the pain and stress before I choose to speak. Praying for you as you continue in treatment and all that you do. God bless Diane
Lisa,
May the LORD God grant you His comfort and strength. May you always your cares upon Him and you will see His answer of hope in Him.
Love in the precious name of Jesus
Mary Ann
Thank you, dear friends. Laurel, my heart goes out to you during this time. It sounds like even in your grief your love for your mom was what overwhelmed you as you understood her desire for life to just be done. That is such a gift you gave her in her final moments, rather than having expectation that she remain her cheery self through it all.
Lynn, yes, self talk can be just as detrimental, can’t it? And even for those who live alone, phone conversations or online conversations can quickly take a turn for the ugly if we are not careful and trying to be God-centered.
God bless you all for giving mercy to me as I share my weaknesses 🙂
Lisa, how I relate to you in this devotional! Thanks for sharing so honestly & openly. 🙂
I was at my worst when my body was deteriorating quickly & I was trying to keep working, shopping, cleaning, cooking, church meetings etc etc when I was running on empty & my engine was burning out! Sadly my family copped lots of angry outbursts! 🙁
These days I don’t have energy to have angry words much at all, however I can manage frustrated silences & tears at times! It comes out somehow. I thank God for His help at such times. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Oh Laurel, how sad to lose your dear Mother. What a special lady!
May God comfort & heal your aching heart as you grieve. Lotsoluv Kerryn ♥
This is just what the doctor ordered for me today! With my father being given 6 months or less to live, (for the 2nd time in the past year), our family is stressed. His brain shows to next to zero function and he’s merely hanging on because his organs have not failed yet. No quality of life. My mother and I have become very close throughout this last year of his illness, however, as I am her only daughter out of 4 who is willing/ able to be there for her consistantly because I am retired due to my own disability, she has looked to me to be everything to her. Psychologist, daughter, friend, confidant. At risk of sounding like a marytyr here, I am most certainly weary, worn out. Not at my best. We had a conflict on the phone yesterday and while I wasn’t being outright disrespectful, I certainly wasn’t choosing my words as carefully as I knew I should. I thank God ,who works through others, for this message on the topic of asking grace from Him and not from loved ones when the weight becomes heavy to bare..Thanks and God Bless!
Kimberly, I feel so sad that you’re going through this trial with your dad’s condition and your mother depending on you for so much. That along with dealing with your own disability.You must be feeling overwhelmed a lot of the time.
I can’t tell you why God is allowing so many challenges in your life, but do know that he has promised to be with you, providing what you need, at all times.
I don’t want to add another burden to your shoulders, but I was wondering if there is some way you could try to get someone else to relieve you of a measure of the support you’re trying to give your mom. You do need to take care of yourself too, especially with this being an ongoing issue. Do you feel close enough to one of your sisters that you could confide in her, or a close friend of your mom’s? Perhaps one of them would think about being more in touch with her.
I know there’s nothing like your own family in such a crisis. And I don’t want you to think I’m scolding you. I’m not in your shoes so this is “easy for me to say”. But I am concerned for you and sometimes it helps to see our situations from another person’s perspective.
Dear Lord, please wrap your arms of love around Kimberly and give her the wisdom and grace to get through this very tough period in her life. I commit her, her father, her mother and the rest of the family to your care. In Jesus’ precious Name, Amen
Gentle hugs, Beth
Kimberley, I’ll join Beth in her words of love, concern & prayer for you. Having cared for my Dad with MND (motor neuron disease) to his death with my Mum in 2007 I sure know the toll. I’m so very thankful for that time now though…. a true blessing & opportunity to care for my Dad & to grow closer to my Mum.
May God carry, comfort & guide you all in this journey. Lotsoluv Kerryn ♥